Cry Havoc

My obstetrician said something to me once about the miscarriages that stayed with me. She said that just because the unbalanced translocation was killing off the embryos it didn't mean that we didn't have something else going on that was more subtle but just as murderous. Like Margaret O'Brien's doll who had four fatal diseases and the ice man who noted, "An' it only takes one."

I was thinking about this as I glumped around the place. I'm probably all funked for a lot of reasons and just because I am a gordian knot of Fears it doesn't mean I am not also tired or undernourished or in desperate need of a project that I can both start and finish.

One of the suggestions here had to do with accumulated lack of sleep and melatonin. I have significant insomniac cred - my mother swears that I was a baby who never slept and I am intimately acquainted with the three a.m. panic that only the sleepless know - so I greeted with skepticism (scorn even) the idea that something I could buy in the vitamin section at Target would put me to sleep. Me! But I asked for your help in lifting me out of this pervasive intolerable funk and melatonin was one of the suggestions and I happened to be at Target anyway and... melatonin kicked my ass. It was less like falling into sleep and more like drowning in it. One minute I was reading Georgette Heyer; the next I woke up at four in the morning with my tongue stuck to the pillow and no clear idea of where or who I was. 

I looked up melatonin online and found an MIT study that suggested 0.3 mg is the optimal dosage for adults. Normal OTC tablets are 3.0 mg and although I suppose there are plenty of people for whom that amount does not act like a sock full of nickles to the base of the brain I am not one of them. So I cut one tablet into 8 tiny pieces and I have taken them a few times and it is... quite nice. Like the sleep equivalent of climbing into a hot bath. Even on the micro dose I still wake up a little gummy in the morning but I think it is worth it. So thank you.

Caroline and Edward met their teachers yesterday and toured the preschool classroom. It was all very low-key. Caroline cruised the perimeter (cubbies - climbable, check; windows - climbable, check; sink and cabinets - check and check) and Edward evaluated the things with wheels and then they both went outside to the playground and found things they liked. The few other children who were there at the same time seemed to be about the right size and shape to be peers and both of the two mothers to whom I introduced myself said something wry. All in all it was a successful opening salvo and I am looking forward to having them start. Oh and I learned that we do have to bring all their stuff back and forth with us because they share the space with the three day class and in addition to the clothes and the diapers and the snack and the lunch and the eventual snow stuff we also have to bring bedding (nap mats? I am unfamiliar) every day so I am thinking the Lands Ends Tiny Takes that had seemed so roomy might need a clip-on sherpa. 

I shouldn't tease but this is what Edward looks like when he realizes his hands are dirty

and meanwhile we have Caroline who spent half an hour shoveling dirt into that wheelbarrow and then she climbed into it and rolled around

... but they're couuuusssssins, identical cousins and you'll find...

Anyone? Patty Duke? Hello?

My point is that Caroline and Edward would sue the administration if they ever found themselves assigned to the same dorm room.

--- Steve has the twins outside right now so that I can write this. He just scared the beejeezums out of me by pounding on the window behind me and then he shouted "I can't find Caroline!" before running off again. I just spent a scary ten minutes searching the woods in my socks while Edward trotted next to me saying helpfully "She must be hiding somewhere." 

Just because you are anxious doesn't mean the world isn't a terrifying place full of danger -- 

Good lord my heart is still pounding. Random picture of Caroline the lefty inserted like filler while I calm down.

Patrick started school on Tuesday and they leapt instantly into work, which startled both of us as his old school favored a more gradual approach to settling into the year. Patrick came home on the second day and said he needed to have the 2's and 3's tables memorized by next Friday. I thought he was joking. Yesterday for homework he had to finish writing his spelling words into sentences

(Sentences Patrick came up with that I remember: 1. The woods have no conveniences, unlike home; 2. After painting the cat blue the two-year-olds continued with their escapades; 3. The cat crawled cautiously out from under the bed after he was painted.)

He also brought home a couple of sheets that they had done as a... can I call it a teambuilding exercise in the third grade?... teambuilding exercise, which included Things I Know (Maybe) and About Me. I found some of his answers (or lack thereof) amusing:

1. My name is Patrick

2. I like to be called Patrick

7. I live with the two year old twins, Caroline and Edward, my mom & dad, and 1,805,972,366,241,000 dust particles.

8. My favorite music group is (I hate music!*)

9. Three things I have never eaten: anchovy pizza, sunflower seeds, people

16. Last thing I lost was (I keep track of my things!**)

18. The youngest person I know is Edward

1. The name of our president obama

2. The name of our governor ????????

3. The name of a popular movie star ??????

5. One state that touches our state north dakota south dakota wisconsin iowa

8. The name of one artist Pablo Picasso

11. Two countries in Europe Turkey and Finland***

and my personal favorite

7. Four famous inventions that changed our lives the toilet, the lawn mower, the vacuum cleaner and the hot glue gun****.

* What?

** WHAT???

*** Quick, name the first two European countries that spring to mind. Were they... Turkey and Finland? No?

****When I mentioned that I was contemplating a sewing machine for Patrick a very very nice woman left a comment offering him one that she swore she never used. I dithered a bit but eventually accepted and she mailed it and when it arrived Steve and the mailman carried it into the hall like one of Tut's fatter cousins.

Patrick was beside himself when he discovered that there was a sewing machine in the box in the hall. It was like a very crafty Christmas as Steve admired all the (bobbins?) and Patrick read aloud from the manual about (serging?) and I gathered up the paper it had been wrapped in.

Patrick said he wanted to get started sewing something right away. I said fine and suggested he make a pillowcase, all rectangular with nice long straight lines.

Patrick said, "Actually I would like to make a hat."

I said a hat sounded like a great idea and he should definitely do that some day and in the meantime... how about a pillowcase? He responded by sketching the hat he had in mind. I looked at the hat design and reminded him about gravity and said that maybe it might be fun to make a pillowcase. He added some bling to his sketch. I said, pillowcase? and he just stared at me.

So I told him I would take him to the fabric store and we could look for materials and see if they had anything fun that might interest him; something perhaps in a nice, soft fabric that we could cut into rectangles, sew together and then flip inside out. He said sure and we would need to buy some wire. For the hat.

So Patrick and I went to Joann fabrics and he went through the remnants like a sirocco. Then he hit notions and then he swung into the jewelry making aisle and as we shopped we squabbled about the impracticality of making a hat.

"We don't know HOW," I said.

"Take some wire, twist it into a shape you like, stretch fabric over it, sew it along the rim and then," he waved his hands around, "we'll figure out the rest."

I told him it wasn't going to work and he said it would and two days later... 

I stand corrected.

Seriously. I know I am the least nimble-fingered person in the upper Midwest and I am therefore easily impressed but isn't that hat mostly superb? And it fits him. And it is a HAT. A little loud for my taste, true, but still. If I knew how to stick up one of those facebook like buttons I would and then I would ask if you liked it and then you would say yes (wouldn't you? how could you not? it's a HAT) and Patrick would be able to see the likes and he would be pleased. You know, it's hard to be in a funk when you live with someone who might one day consent to make you a hat.

Like like like.

PS Sorry. What a horrible storyteller. Caroline was found in the woods and we all lived happily ever after. The end.

Comments

[Lisa]

I see Project Runway in his future!

[Liz]

Awesome hat! When is his Etsy shop opening. Please put me on the press release disti list.

[beadlady]

Please tell Patrick it is wonderful. Definite LIKE!!!

[Tracy]

Like!

[elsimom]

LOVE the hat! Patrick is now a milliner - something I've always wanted to be!

Nap mats: come in various forms and some rather loft prices - ours (inexpensive, cute, reasonably durable, and able to carried by small children)came from JCPenney. They have a girly style and a boyish style. The pillows get a bit lumpy after many washings. ours had a carrying handle and velcro to roll it up but I don't see that feature mentioned on their website now.

I saw a headline on google about "make your own nap mat" and now that you have a sewing machine - the idea dawns that sewing a fleece nap mat is very much like your pillow case idea . . . .rectangular, and etc.

My oldest is also in third grade and they did "person bingo" where you had to find classmates with various characteristics. I laughed out loud when Patrick said he keeps track of his things- I don't know ANY third graders who do.

[Becky]

I see his hat and I still have no idea how to make it. It is AMAZING :) And you can tell him so. Or you can just say "like."

[Clarity]

LIKE! Almost as much as I like the dying-tongue-look that goes with it.

[quirkfarms]

that hat is AMAZING! tell Patrick it is superb. who knew, eh?

[Sash]

That hat is fantastic! Seriously! I'm new to the world of sewing, and I am seriously impressed. No way could I do that.

[Moosilaneous]

Oh, I was in dire need of cheering, and this did it.
LIKE!
(I'm jumping to the conclusion that you found Caroline, but it woudl do my heart good to know where!)
And so pleased that sleep has been attained via melatonin, and improved things a little for you. Marvelous stuff, that sleep.

[Lylah]

Oooooh... like!

"... and we'll figure out the rest" is pretty much how I get through most frustrating parts of my life. Good on Patrick for figuring that part out so early!

[rupiedupie]

Hooray!
A little bit of light comin' back to your days.
This post is a breath of fresh air for me.
Laughed out loud several times.
If my mister was your mister and pulled the window rattlin' frantic 'I lost a loose one' stunt...let's just say there'd be a consequence.
Sheesh.
Maybe Patrick could take his paper shoes and use that as a pattern to create a second pair to match the hat.
STELLAR.
Then he could go online and market his wares.
Really, truly thanks for the post today.
I've been home on an island to myself this week while contractors are busy at work here.
~been missing my peeps and social time out.
~Cheerfully~

[Elizabeth Hosto]

LIKE!

[Megan]

Like!

[txmama]

Oh my, like like like!

Also, cannot believe those sweeties are already wearing JACKETS! It is still like Hades here.

[Maura]

Wow. That is a superb hat. (And now, of course, I am thinking of that book about the dog that asks, repeatedly, if you like his hat. Same author as "Are You My Mother?")

[Candy]

I totally sang the "identical cousins" song the second I saw you had written it. I think I dated myself, but I swear I watched it in re-runs.

Hat? LOVE! What I love more is his absolute fearlessness and assurance he knew how to make it, including the waving of the hands over the details. LOVE!

[KK]

oh, i LIKE :)

[Dawn]

LIKE! That's an awesome hat.

My almost three year old starts preschool next week. She's very excited because "they have baby dolls and she get to play with them." She too will have a tiny backpack filled with stuff and can't wait.

[brenna]

Oh my goodness...could Patrick give us a tutorial? That is just crazy and wonderful, especially the small "p" at the top.

[MichelleRenee]

Like!

[D]

Can I recommend this book? It's got some old style pictures, but really helps get going when you want to know how to do something, like put in a zipper. I'm sure his next hat will need a zipper. Or snaps!

http://www.amazon.ca/Simplicitys-Simply-Best-Sewing-Book/dp/073942100X

[Sally]

They wear hats like that in both Turkey AND Finland.

[Elsha]

That hat is AWESOME!

[tree town gal]

sorry but i gotta say LOVE LOVE LOVE... hat and expression of the arteest...

and patty duke. good lord, woman, you kill me.

[Amy]

Like!

That hat is seriously adorable. I don't think I could even manage a pillowcase.

[Lauren]

Double LIKE!!

[Liv]

I am very jealous of your measly Melatonin intake. I take two 5mg an hour before I want to go to sleep and I am still having trouble.

[Mandee]

lIKE!

[Elizabeth]

LIKE! Those were my wedding colours - I would have looked superb walking down the aisle in that hat!!! Patrick the Modiste - LIKE!

[Stefanie]

I fingä dä Huet super! (Swiss German)

I think that hat is great!

[bethany actually]

...that COUUUU-ziiiiins are TWO of a KIIIIIND!

I used to love that show.

Patrick is clearly one of those intuitively creative people for whom machines are no big deal, only tools to help him achieve his aims. That's awesome.

[tree town gal]

When Patrick branches to needlework, he'll need this book:

http://www.amazon.com/Making-Mathematics-Needlework-Papers-Projects/dp/1568813317

[YaraC]

That's fantastic. I took a sewing class a year ago and I could never make something that complicated. Like!

[Julie]

Holy shit, that is an awesome hat.

[Owlfan]

Great hat! Definitely impressed me.

When my kids were in preschool they had us send in a beach towel for a nap mat. cheaper and smaller to tote back and forth.

I can't wait to see Patrick's next creation.

[Rachel]

Delurking to say I LOVE that Patrick made that hat. Seriously impressive.

[Amber]

Like, Like, Like.

Is Caroline left handed?

[Becky]

Love the hat! Hope he stays interested in sewing. I wonder what he will make next?

[Cee]

I swear Patrick will be running the country some day. How many kids have such a dry sense of humour? How many kids are milliners for crying out loud? You have such an awesome son.

[Rebecca]

Awwww, Caroline is a leftie like me!

[Maeve's Mom]

Like, Like, Like! That hat is awesome, as is his confidence. I also love his answers to the questions, he doesn't like music? Turkey and Finland? I have a beautiful 8-year old 2nd grader that would get along great with Patrick.

[SarahB]

Love the hat! Fantastic work Patrick!

[Alexicographer]

So glad Caroline reappeared relatively promptly. I ran by a mall recently on my lunch break only to bump into my husband as I walked into the entrance to a store; his first words to me were "Have you seen DS?" No I have not seen DS (age 3), I just got here and you're taking care of him! DS was in the clothing section, and not happy about that by the time we found and retrieved him, but fine. So, um, I know that feeling, sorry you had it too.

Melatonin, huh? My brother may need this observation.

I had with my vet the conversation you had with your OB many times, only ours was not about your reproductive system (the same principle may apply also to mine) but about my elderly horse's lameness...

Oh, I almost forgot the most important part: Like!

[uccellina]

Holy high hat, Patman! I love it.

[lizardek]

LIKE! (both the hat & the face!)

[Lisa]

Awesome hat, Patrick! Likey-like like!

I loved his little survey answers. Aren't kids fun??

I'll have to try me some of that melatonin. My husband used to take it when I was nursing and said I should try it, but I never did. Sounds nice.

[jen]

LIKE LIKE LIKE!

[Meegan]

While the hat is fucking fantastic, I'm still laughing about "Turkey and Finland". I love that kid.

[Sarah]

Like! Like Like Like!