Perpetuum Mobile

Thank you very much for your thoughts on

well

I called it unkindness. It might be teasing. Picking is an option as is needling or maybe taunting. Bullying is also a possibility. It's a loaded word, that one. Like, say, "terrorist" the word bully gets a visceral response and tends to make people think in terms of absolutes. It reminds me of that famous quote about pornography, reversed: I can tell you what bullying is but I might not know it when I see it. 

I thought about this the other week when that poor girl was so traumatized by her treatment on the school bus she was scared to get on it and her father, in his protective rage, stormed the bus and screamed at all the children. He later admitted he regretted his actions but around the country he was applauded: get the bullies; stop the bullies. The idea that these bullies were children mixed up with a lot of other children who all looked the same because they ARE all the same and they were all probably quite terrified seemed to escape a lot of people.

There was a kid in Patrick's preschool that took such pleasure in physically hurting other children - not to mention emotionally terrorizing them - that I am convinced to this day that he is budding sociopath. I got to know Patrick's current classmates pretty well last year so when he brings home stories of... I'm sticking with unkindness... I know the players involved and I know they run the gamut of social sophistication. None of them are nearly as scary as the preschool kid but there are one or two who tend toward the edgier side, one or two who toady, a handful of spirits who will follow whichever way the winds of popularity blow and a few whose gentleness or desire to be liked or both make them fairly ready targets for any spite in search of a recipient. 

My point is that - within reason - most of these kids on any given day or with any permutation of personalities might morph into bullies or bullies' henchmen or victims. The cognitive dissonance (hi Sarah! forgive me! I can evolve!) of having someone be both a dick and a friend on Tuesday seems to bother me (us, to judge by your comments) a lot more than it bothers Patrick and as I struggle to figure out how to help him I also struggle to keep his interests (and his impressions of intention which are always much more generous than mine) at the forefront. He justs wants to play and interact and be friends - minus the sly maliciousness of being called... whatever. This one kid called Patrick "Steven" at first and when that failed to garner any reaction at all he switched to Pat, which also made Patrick shrug. Only with Patricia (and I think those of you who thought that the heavy boy = bad/girl = good differentiation going on in the classroom is largely at fault) did he manage to get a rise out of him but it could be Four-Eyes or CrazySocks or Namby Pamby.  

We went for conferences last week and it was the polar opposite of last year's Worst Conference Ever

(oh you remember - last year the teacher hinted that Patrick has ADHD and Patrick yelled at her about not teaching cursive writing and they fought about reading levels until Patrick, his voice dripping with venom and sarcasm, said, "Wow three weeks ago you said I was reading at an O level and now you say I'm at a T... you must be a really great teacher." And I died.)

I was not sure what to expect with this new woman and Patrick was so nervous that I worried the half had not been told unto me about what he had been doing in class. Setting fires? But it was great. Patrick is doing very well in everything, the end. He reads well. He writes well. He spells well. He maths well. She seemed oblivious to little workmanship details like the fact that he seems unable to prevent himself from suddenly breaking out into small sketches on the page (for example if he is writing about a mountain he will sometimes... draw a mountain. with a tiny climber. and maybe a miniature chalet. and then he goes back to writing.) As she talked about how pleased she was with his work Patrick visibly relaxed and he chatted about stuff he had done. I asked if he wanted to talk about the Patricia thing and he said yes and explained some of the problems he had been having. She said she had no idea and it was right of him to tell her and she wanted to hear about these things in the future and that there have been other similar problems with another boy in the class that she had dealt with when she heard of it and she was absolutely not going to have this sort of thing going on in her classroom and if they are doing this in third grade what on earth will it turn into a few years from now? Patrick, never one to avoid the hypothetical question, said that he feared that they might turn into... whisper... bullies by high school and after that most likely criminals in jail, very sad.

She said that the conference was the most she had ever heard him talk (I thought, are you KIDDING? he's QUIET at school?) and she told me the only thing about Patrick that we might want to know is that when he is reading or drawing or working on class stuff he has a tendency to become so focussed that he is almost impossible to distract and transition to the next thing. I said, oh well, eight year olds... and she said no, Patrick's intense concentration was something else altogether (in an amusing unwitting salute to last year she said, "No one could ever think he's ADHD... could be something in the ADD line") I asked if it was a problem and she said no, since she manages it in the classroom and she wasn't even sure it would ever be a problem but she thought she should say something.

These two things - the fact that he doesn't talk much in class and he falls into hyperfocussed work trances - startled me since neither of them show up at home at all. It reminded me of all of the teachers here who have ever counseled me on the vast oceans of difference between home and school and what we see and what they see and what we hear and what the reality is and I vowed for the millionth time to stop leaping to conclusions about classroom politics.

In person Patrick's teacher seemed to really know and care about him and I felt guilty for all of my dire assumptions about her gender biases. Then I thought that maybe it's just that she happens to like my muffin of maleness (possibly because he said stuff at the conference like "I want to be friends with everybody but especially those kids that maybe the other kids tend not to notice, like the new boys" at which point the judges gave him top marks and he moved onto the evening wear competition) and then I felt guilty all over again. Are boys who bounce less worthy of teacherly approbation than ones who need to be checked with mirrors to make sure they are still breathing?

All of which is to say that I am still pondering the situation and I really appreciated your thoughts and in the meantime Patrick has offered a playdate at our house to anyone who stops calling him Patricia. He has a different way of handling things than I do.

We had a weekend guest who informed us that Edward's ability to successfully dribble a ball up and down the length of the driveway is nothing short of astonishing. Steve and I looked blankly at each other and I realized the baby of the family always has their talents neglected. Can I play the cello? No. And why? Because I was the youngest, that's why.

 

Caroline was very suprised to see what happens after you murder a pumpkin.

Caroline and Edward are looking like twins I think. And of a size, too. He is only four pounds heavier than she is although it feels like forty when you pick them up. He is so solid with a massive chest and she is mostly bones and hair but technically he's not that much bigger than she is anymore and she continues to have larger feet, which I find funny.

Patrick drew faces for cutting the jack o' laterns. Then he drew on Edward.

Yesterday was Edward's last day at speech. I hope, if nothing else, the change in routine will stop Caroline from saying, coldly, "Oh... just go to therapy!" every time Edward annoys her or she decides she feels like being an only child for a while. It's an awful thing to say, isn't it? Imagine having a dispute with a coworker over using other people's coffee mugs or excess personal days or who gets the copy of Goodnight Moon and just as you are warming to your theme and contemplating the jesuitical advantage of hitting them over the head with a Duplo they look at you with weary condescension and tell you to just go get some therapy.

Biiiiiitch-y.

When Edward is trying to convey that he is serious - seriously annoyed - he lifts one eyebrow, scowls with the rest of his face and uses a growly voice that I guess is a pretty good interpretation of what I sound like when I. have. had. it. plus helium. 

Yesterday morning Edward said, "But I'm not very hungry, Mommy" and I interpreted, "Are you very hungry, Edward?"

He said, "Yes."

I said, no problem, Daddy is making oat cakes (oatmeal pancakes) right now.

Edward said, "How 'bout oatmeal?"

I said, "Better! Oatmeal pancakes!"

Edward twisted his face. His eyebrow shot up. His voice dropped an octave and he growled, "NO! No pancakes. OATMEAL!"

I said, "Edward we're having oat cakes and..."

Edward barked, "UN'CCEPTABLE."

Steve, from the stove, asked, "Did he just say 'unacceptable'?"

I said, yeah, he did.

And we beamed at him and told him how clever he is because, really, his ability to express himself has gotten so much better. Edward glared at us.

"Oat cakes un'cceptable," he repeated and I said oh listen to you, you sweet little lump of sugarbutter, using those great big words... and I gave him the oatmeal.

This morning we ran into Patrick's preschool teacher at the fabric store while we were buying buttons (for Steve's suspenders - don't ask) and face paint (for cheetah whiskers) and looking for textiles that can convey "I am an Event Horizon" in the time it takes to open a front door. Patrick has narrowed down his Halloween costume ideas and they all subscribe to the theory that time and space can be visualized like a foldable plane - speaking of still more things about which I am skeptical.

Steve, by the way, was appalled that I have shamed the family by publicly admitting in that last post just how many things fall under the generous umbrella of my dubiety: magic, what F1 radio communications really mean during a Grand Prix, whether onions can actually be caramelized by a home cook, democracy, every single idea ever presented about the origins of life, et cetera.     

So anyway at Joann we ran into Patrick's preschool teacher for the first time in years

(Steve: "Mrs M------! We've been looking everywhere for you!"

I think he's hilarious; I really do.)

in front of remnants and she told Caroline and Edward they'd be coming to her preschool when they were bigger. Edward instantly said "That's un'cceptable."

Then he looked at me like, hey, did you hear that? Aren't I cute? Where's my oatmeal?

We seem to have created a monster. Two monsters, actually, because Caroline leaned over from her shopping cart and told the preschool teacher, "Edward goes to therapy."

But he doesn't. Not anymore. He had his last session and duly received his certificate of participation in the field of excellence.

I was going to ask during our last debrief about the fact that he still sounds garbled to me but she forestalled the question by saying that he often becomes incomprehensible because he attempts to form complicated adult sentences and he talks very very fast (Patrick and I are also speedy communicators; Caroline and Steve prefer to be understood.) She says that when she loses what he is saying she restructures his sentence into a three to four word phrase that is more age-appropriate and slowly models it for him. 

I said, "Simple. Slow. Got it."

Then I said, "OK, Edward, shall we say thank you and goodbye and then attempt to find the car and go home for some lunch?"

Our therapist looked at me like, good LORD lady, and said, very brightly, "Let's go!"

This is why I did not receive a certificate in the field of excellence. It is also why my helpful talk with Patrick this morning about the (grrr) ongoing Patricia thing (Patrick called it the "Patrissue" and said if the playdates don't work he wants me to email the teacher; she did give a talk about bullying and name calling on Monday) started with the Romans, moved onto Ireland and the absence of snakes, touched on how much Steve and I had wanted to have children, introduced the miscarriages, breezed hastily over the raised question of how humans are conceived with the solemn promise to get back to it some time when I was not driving, talked about how excited I was to finally have a baby boy and why the name Patrick was important to me, discussed root words and the fact that Patricia and Patrick/Padraig and Patricus and patrician and patrimony borrow nuance from each other and ultimately finished with both of us laughing over the idea that perhaps the best way to handle these friends is with gentle amusement, as if their inability to stick the hard K and their subsequent resort to a shushing sound is more to be pitied than censured. 

I got to the end of my speech and smiled at Patrick, thinking I really was doing a bang-up job with this whole parenting thing.

Patrick said, "That was the longest conversation I have ever been sucked into in my life. There were Romans! There were Irish! There were those babies dropping dead all over the place! And just when I thought you would keep talking forever... here we are again back at Patricia."

"You know, Mommy," Patrick said, seriously, "You really need to work on wrapping it up."

PS Patrick and I listened to The Graveyard Book (it was so so so good) and just started Artemis Fowl on CD. I just finished To Say Nothing of the Dog (I read it while on bedrest and loved it and loved it all over again recorded) and I desperately need a new book on tape suggestion. Listening to a book makes all the boring stuff (laundry, dishes, moving piles of clutter) so much more bearable I think. Any suggestion for good recordings? Something light'ish that will not suddenly break into raunch while I am cleaning the kitchen?

Comments

[Kristine (Mommy Needs Therapy)]

Your kids are awesome!! Thank you for sharing them with us!

This week our karate studio is discussing bullying with the kids and how to handle it. The two suggestions he would have for the Patricia bit would be to 1)ignore it and change the subject or 2) agree or let him think he is funny.

It was interesting watching the kids in class role play these issues.

[Jaz]

I am listening to "Soulless" by Gail Carriger right now, and it frequently has me laughing out loud.

[Yasra]

Megan mentioned you ought to write a book. she said she would be first in line to buy it... but she's lying. I would be first, because I would push Megan out of the way.

[Katrina]

The Railway Children by Edith Nesbit. Narrated by.... Somebody English. Can't remember. Was fab.

[Hetty Fauxvert]

OHmygod, your kids all slay me. Particularly Patrick. Who I think is the pot calling the kettle out when it comes to advising people to "wrap it up," but what do I know? :)

However, I will buff my fingernails on my shirt a little bit, since I (along with others, I admit, but still I did it) recommended *both* To Say Nothing of the Dog and also The Graveyard Book. I'm delighted to hear you liked both of them! I will further advise that you should seek out Lois McMaster Bujold's novel, Shards of Honor. It's available as an audio book and Am*zon's reviews give it five stars. I will further say it's one of my favorite books eeeeeever, and it is one of the most intelligent romances I've read. You should also check out the Neil Gaiman/Terry Pratchett seriocomic novel, Good Omens. I'm sure it's available as an audio book also since it's in its umpty-umpth edition. Neither of these will sear the ears of any kids, though they might be above their pay grade.

[G]

Everything by Terry Pratchett!

[Cee]

The Patrissue. That kid is going to be famous one day.

[Linda]

Have you read or listened to "Can You Keep a Secret?" by Sophie Kinsella (author of "Confessions of a Shopaholic"). I really enjoyed it. Also, the old standby "Rebecca" by Daphne du Maurier.

[Krissy Poopyhands]

There is nothing not to love about your blog. Ever. My lord in heaven your family is lovely, as are you.

I'm glad that the teacher sounds much more on the ball in person than by proxy. Although I do want to say that it's possible that Patrick is singled out for teasing precicely because he is not a pinball kid, and that the other boys may be resenting her appreciating his ability to be still.

Also, I am reminded of Miss Brash, my second-grade-teacher, who was always soooo responsive and concerned during parent/teacher conferences, but who made my life a living hell for fun on a daily basis.

She was a very good liar.

[sarah]

Oh Julia, that last bit just about killed me! You and your kids are hysterical!

[Sarah R]

If you haven't yet read Shirley Jackson's Raising Demons and Life Among the Savages, run out and get them. She had the same loving but bemused perspective on her children and, like you, can make me laugh until the tears roll.

Also, I'd recommend Terry Pratchett...no children involved, really, but wonderfully funny books.

Then, if you feel like grim one day try Daniel Woodrell's Winter's Bone. Incredible...but grim. Did I say grim...? It's grim in spades.

Love your blog...I've taken to reading it aloud to my office mates. I think they might want to kill me now.

[Maria]

My son has really gotten into the 39 Clues series. I'm reading it along with him, and it's fun. He also likes the Percy Jackson series. And I heartily second the James Herriot recommendation. Those are excellent books. I don't know if it's an audio book, but I loved John Connolly's The Gates of Hell are About to Open (want to peek?). YA horror/sci fi, but very very funny. You may or may not want to tell Patrick that the author is Irish.

[Audra]

The Mysterious Benedict Society and its sequel by Trenton Lee Stewart, read by Del Roy is FABULOUS! Wonderful story of 4 children who help to save the world (of course!). I loved it and the narrator has this wonderful tone to his voice.

I absolutely adore reading of your family's daily adventures.

[Erika]

Laughing so hard tears are running down my face. Perhaps Patrick should take a play out of Caroline's book when kids start in with Patricia? "Oh, just go to therapy" could be very effective...

[Erika]

BTW, I had a conversation w/ Clara 2 nights ago that sort of reminds me of you conversations w/ Patrick. It centered on John Wilkes Booth, and why he chose to jump onto the stage at Ford's Theater, thus risking a broken leg, rather than just going out the way he came back in.

Luckily, I'd read a book about this (Manhunt) just a couple of months ago so could answer most of her questions...

[elsimom]

"unacceptable" - omigosh, I say that to my children all the time - haven't heard it back at me (have heard it directed at siblings) that is absolutely hilarious!

seconding the podcast recommendations - any NPR show you might enjoy can usually be had as a free podcast (I like Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me)
I think the Stephanie Plum series is a hoot - but the language is definitely salty from time to time (also, she does a little bit of mooning, and there are often innuendos, but usually no overt sexual activity) - they're even fluffier as taped material than they are to read - great for my commute.

[Sarah]

Somewhere waaaaaay above this comment, TeacherMommy said she always saves your posts for last. I totally get that! But I don't have that much self-control. I always click on you first... before Pioneer Woman or Dooce even. I think I am addicted to the Julia family and their ever-entertaining tales.

[Mara]

Hilarous as always! Romans! Irish! Dead babies! My only complaint is that there is not enough of your writing. Write more funnies!

[Cheryl]

No fun reading to recommend just now, but I came across this title yesterday and added it to my own list - thought it might be interesting or useful in the navigation of the "unkindness": The Bully, the Bullied, and the Bystander. http://amzn.com/006001430X

[Lynn]

You should read any or all Terry Pratchett. Fabulous on tape, too. Two awesome ones to start with (and Patrick would probably like them too!):
The Wee Free Men
Guards, Guards

[babelbabe]

I just snorted coffee cake through my nose. Ow. "Edward, go to therapy," started it. Ow.

[Crystal]

This problem of bullying is. It's going to continue to be. We as a society suck at standing up for things, we have a desperate need for acceptance. Look at what's going on in the world around us. Other industrialized nations are still involved in their governance. America? We're freaking asleep at the wheel. The effects of a shrinking middle class aren't merely issues of comfort.

You know, we're all guilty of that same behavior. We who frequent the internet seem to be unusually frequent perps. The snark, the bashing, the outcasts, the judgements. The irony of judging someone for being perceived to be judgmental is particularly rich....

I'm trying to be a better person. I'm trying very hard, to the exclusion of a great deal else, to be someone who stands up for something, even though i might be wrong. To defend the defenseless, even if it costs me my life. To vow to protect and befriend even those I might once have eschewed. Because I hope that is who my sons grow up to be, and that is who I want to be their doctor, boss, friend.

I'm done worrying about what's wrong, and trying to throw a few social starfish back into the ocean.

Children are incredible mirrors. I just wish it didn't hurt so damn much when they smack me with my own image.

[Kim]

I appreciate your take on bullying. It seems people have lost their head over it. I agree that bullying is wrong and horrible, etc, etc. I also think it's like terrorism and zero tolerance. There doesn't seem to be any room for clear headed discussion once the word bully comes up. It has been infused with so much seriousness that we may as well be on the path to jailing any kid accused of bullying, which I think is a terrible waste of our young people.

Sorry to go on and on. It's just that my daughter was accused of bullying in 3rd grade. And while here behavior was truly bad, the "victim" was not without fault. It was (IMO) a case of two kids who did not get along at all, teacher who had good intentions but poor execution, a mother (not me) who overreacted horribly and lost girl (my DD) who needed help much more than punishment. Once the bully word gets thrown out, all hope of help is gone. You're practically on trial. It reminded me of that ridiculous trial Harry Potter has to go through in Order of the Pheonix, where he broke the rules but maybe had some justification for it. If the policy is zero tolerance, then there's no room for discussion. In the end kids do some really dumb stuff. Once we put everyone on the defensive we're no longer able to learn and mete out consequences that make sense. And believe me, I worry that I'm coming across as a mom who believes her special snowflake can do no wrong. I do not feel that way. I absolutely believe she needs to be held accountable for her actions, but I also believe it is reasonable to think that 8 year olds will act like 8 year olds and that they should be dealt with accordingly.

Good luck with the Patricia issue. My husband's name is Patrick, he went by Rick from the time he was in first grade until he graduated from high school, due to similar issues. He goes by Patrick now. As far as I know no one calls him Patricia anymore. Although he frequently receives email for Patricia Our Last Name who works in the same facility that he does.

[Sarah]

Loved this post and the stories. Yay for your Edward. My own special snowflake just had speech therapy this morning, though he no longer needs it. His therapist said that when we do his evaluation next week I'll be shocked at his progress. But I won't be because the crazy kid now speaks in full sentences and is very explicit now about what he wants. Isn't it a miracle? 8 months ago he had no words and now he tells whole stories about who is the pilot (me or daddy), who is the passenger and who is going to the airport.

"Edward goes to therapy," cracks me up so much. First, she feels the need to share, which feels like she's trying to even the score with strangers (he may talk cute now, but he had help). And second, it's just a bitchy dig it's funny.

And Patrick never ceases to amaze. His line about dead babies is sad but inspiring at the same time. Kudos to you for sharing your truth with him in a way that he obviously managed to handle. I hope I can do the same with our boy.

[Allison]

I love you.

I also love your kids. (Edward goes to therapy! Hold me!!)

Most of all I love your writing, and I continue to long for a book -- you know, written by you.

That is all.

[Jackie]

Patrick is my hero!

[Ginger]

Would you share your oatcake recipe please? Either here or on your recipe blog. Thanks so much.

[Audrey Whitton]

These children just kill me. They're going to bring in a lot of money as a comedy troupe someday, and which point, at the very end of the show, Caroline will tell the audience, "You know, Edward still needs therapy."

[jeanine]

I love your kids! Patrick's positive discipline technique with his peers...why didn't I think of that...so simple, yet genius. And the twinks are just hilarious. You are such a great writer. Thanks for sharing your funny stuff.

[jen]

what an excellent post. i am completely in love with your writing. thank you for sharing.

also, i'm not sure if this has been mentioned before but most of the roald dahl books are available in audio book form. i adored the twits and the bfg at patrick's age.

[Jenine]

The picture of patrick lifting the jackolantern lid and the twins looking over -- such a winner! thanks for sharing those. Happy Pumpkin time!

[Barefoot Liz]

I'm still giggling about "Un'cceptable!" He sounds like such a clever little boy.

[KatieV]

No, no, I had to google event horizon too. ;)

[Maria]

The parent-teacher conference sounds like a great step in the right direction. And someone might have mentioned this since I haven't read all the comments, but Patrick doesn't hyper-focus on activities at home? How does one explain that fantastic, award-winning Lego structure (insert awe, admiration here) with patio furniture and living room complete with tchotchkes if not for some hyper-focussing?
I like that Patrick has moved on from fonts to physics for Halloween. That's really funny, even though I must have been absent on the day they explained what an event horizon is.

[Jordan retro 5]

MeiLanJu bamboo can achieve, piano, chess, Calligraphy and painting can contented feeling. ChangYuan storage space, Internet friendship everlasting message. Friend is more walk more wide, message is connected to two lines, The space is common to see, The virtual world show love.

[Liz]

@Kara - so glad you said something...I wasn't going to and I definitely feel like I'm behind the curve sometimes! But I do get most of the humor!

[Hetty Fauxvert]

Second vote for Pratchett's "Wee Free Men!" Hadn't thought of that or I would have said it myself. Patrick would luuuuv the Feegles. God knows I do; they are hysterical. Plus there are two more books with the same characters that are almost as good as the first one.

[Patsi]

I LOVE YOUR KIDS!!!

I just had to make up an excuse about why I was snorting and laughing like a loon while working on background checks at work. While sometimes info on them makes me chuckle it is never a laugh out loud event.

Patrick. That kid is priceless

Patrick said, "That was the longest conversation I have ever been sucked into in my life. There were Romans! There were Irish! There were those babies dropping dead all over the place! And just when I thought you would keep talking forever... here we are again back at Patricia."

"You know, Mommy," Patrick said, seriously, "You really need to work on wrapping it up."

[Nancy]

Great post! I am not sure if I have recommended this yet, but my kids and I are reading (them) listening to (me) the Ranger's Apprentice series by John Flanagan... it is very good and the audio book is really well done.

Nancy

[N L]

Caroline's disclosure of Edward's therapy to the PreSchool teacher made me snerk loud enough at work to elicit a "bless you!" from a nearby coworker.

Your children need to go on tour or something.

[Martha]

I, for one, don't care how long you take to wrap it up. I love your posts, and am all the happier if I see you've left us a long one!

My laugh-out-loud moment this time: "He's in therapy."

[Bonnie]

I really think you might have the cutest and cleverest children I've ever seen or heard of. And I have no bias, so it must be the truth.

[Brooke]

I really liked the Nanny Diaries on tape.

[Chris]

Your kids. Your writing. Priceless

(And really sometimes the best time of my day!)

[owlhaven]

Oh Julia, I love you. And you have my utter and complete sympathy. Brainy kids can be such a handful, even for brainy mommas.

Mary

[Jill Farris]

Darling account of your precocious and smart children. I do want to chime in here (as a newbie to your blog via Owlhaven)and encourage you, exhort you, implore you....do NOT let Patrick's teacher slap the ADD label on him! No no no! Teachers are not trained properly to make such a diagnosis. I know because I have a teaching degree and I learned very little during the process of getting it. You are absolutely right to attribute much of what is going on to Patrick being an eight year old boy. Boys are different, boys are wonderful, boys are boys. Yank your children out of school before you let anyone slap any kind of label on them...because the recommendation for a ritalin prescription is not far behind...and then begins the pressure to make him take it or ELSE!!

Rejoice in your children and advocate for them to the death!:)

Jill F. mom of eight (our youngest is a darling little 5 year old Patrick whose favorite word is "act chully".

[Terri C]

I had to google "event horizon" as well. Your children are as wonderful as your writing. Which is pretty doggone wonderful.

[Anne]

I second the recommendation of the Ranger's Apprentice by John Flanigan. My husband and I listened to the first one on our last weekend trip and thoroughly enjoyed it (he's a teen librarian so we listen to a lot of YA books on our car trips).

[sarah]

I reek of cognitive dissonance. It's my thing.

I cling to your Patrick stories because I'm dealing with similar issues with my 7 year-old and his teacher who is requesting "formal identification" because he seems to not be performing well and listening nicely, he might have attention issues, below grade level bla bla bla; meanwhile he's writing trilogies and casting actors for the movie version that he drew story boards of and quite nicely put into words for me that a lot of the houses we were looking at to purchase were too italianate. I've had him tested, there is NO attention issue. I'm hoping there is a place to send Samuel where he can thrive.

So, I feel a little scared about what they surmise he should be identified AS and whether it's giftedness (high IQ being genetic and all, WHAT UP EVOLUTION! WOOT!) or a learning "difference" which is what the cool people call a disability.

Anyway, you're not getting paid to hear this, so we'll cut it short... you know, wrap it up.

I love your babies. un'ceptable!

[tami]

Anything by Polly Horvath. I especially love The Trolls and Everything on a Waffle.