9 15/16 Out Of 10

Our Trip to Chicago

I. One

    A. The Drive

    B. The Waterpark

II. Two

    A. The Wedding

    B. The Party

III. Three

    A. Chicago

    B. Legoland

And to think I believed that all the outlining we had to do in the fifth grade would never be utilized later in life.

Patrick and I had a ridiculously perfect trip and I am so happy we went. Last night before he went up to bed he kissed my cheek in passing and said, "I love you" - as spontaneous an outpouring of emotion as I think I have ever gotten from him.

IA.

We listened to the second Artemis Fowl book and I tried to not worry too much about the fact that I am a terrible driver and we were swimming through sheets and sheets of rain. Patrick and I developed a system wherein I would stop to use the bathroom, he would insist he absolutely did not need to go and then fifteen minutes after we got back on the highway he would say, uh, I think we need to stop again.

This is how we wound up in the bathroom of the Mobil gas station outside of New Lisbon, Wisconsin less than half an hour after we toured the BP ditto of somewhere slightly north of there.

At Mobil I offered to wait outside the men's room for him but Patrick scanned the area and said he would rather go into the ladies' with me. Fair enough. I think eight is old enough to do a solo public bathroom trip but I also think eight is old enough to decide if he feels something is sketchy and would prefer to conduct his private business behind a lockable door guarded by his mother. Besides, who cares, really, whether a boy is using the stall next to you? It's not like he adopted the sink as a urinal.

So Patrick used the ladies' room and as he was washing his hands a pretty blonde woman with two equally pretty little girls said, "Excuse me." My heart sank. Because I was certain she was going to be quivering with outrage over the fact that my male child was violating this female sanctum and I was going to have to either smile weakly and confide that I was honoring my son's phobia about being out of my sight in odd-smelling public places and hope for maternal sympathy; or bristle aggressively and say, "WELL, Madam?"  

What she said was: "I'm sorry but... are you Julia?"

And I said, "Yes?"

And she said, "The blogger Julia?"

And I lit up with pleasure because how fabulous and flattering and BIZARRE is that? So she said nice things and I thanked her and Patrick said, "So you're famous."

There are probably many different ways a child can utter this sentence to his beloved mother - each of them tinged with awe and respect - but Patrick chose to incorporate air quotes around the word "famous" giving blog fame pretty much the exact quota of respect due. 

I still think it was awesome and HI SUE. I hope the rest of your trip was a pleasant one.

IB.

After we checked into our Queen Suite (which looked an awful lot like a Queen Room) I thought it would be nice to pose for a Mother-Son picture before we hit the waterslides. Patrick disagreed.

We both won that argument, sort of.

The waterslides were like being on a cold wet rollercoaster and I had forgotten how nauseous it now makes me to go around and around and... BLEH. I went down the twisty whatsit with him as many times as I could before I begged Patrick for a reprieve and dinner. He consented. Afterward I told him that I had zero interest in going back to the waterpark but I would if he really wanted to do so. The other option was for us to locate the giant four-story indoor playground. He said that sounded like fun, so I brought my book and my laptop and he grabbed the resort map and orienteered us through a maze of hallways to a truly impressive Habitrail for children. On the far side of the mesh walls was a bar and wireless internet - we were both happy.

IIA.

It was the best wedding I have ever attended. It was the wedding everyone pictures when they say they just want to have something simple with a few friends and family at home. The bride and groom each read a poem, the officiant did the three minute soap opera service (do you x take you y - ok, kiss) and then there was an elegant tea with sandwiches scones and champagne. Perfect.

IIB.

I took Patrick back to our hotel after the wedding. The plan was to change, get dinner and then take him back to my friend's friend's house where a babysitter was going to take care of him and her daughter (who Patrick liked already from the wedding) while we went to the reception/dance party.

We dithered and by the time we were ready to eat I realized it was Saturday night, we had no reservations and we needed to be in-and-out in fifty-five minutes. I called down to the concierge and explained my problem and she suggested that we just eat at their restaurant. I said, oh, can we? And she said, of course!

Full disclosure: the hotel was The James and the restaurant was some... I dunno... the chef had his cookbook displayed prominently on every available surface but I didn't study it... steak place that seemed to think it was all that and a taro nest of purple peruvian waffle fries.

So Patrick and I went down to the lobby and through the bar and I cheerfully told the maitre d' who raised his eyebrows at me that the concierge had said they might be able to get us in for a quick dinner and he... snubbed me. Snubbed me! He said they were not seating and *hand wave* they could probably get us a "quick dinner" at the bar.

I dragged Patrick (who was about to settle himself on the nearest bar stool - it's a weekend night and the bar sat about 20; if you were the bartender would you want one of your seats taken up by an eight year old? me neither) off to the lobby where I stood chewing my bottom lip and trying to decide how I was going to feed him and still get to my party. I finally went over to the concierge to see if she had any ideas.

She said, "Did you just call?" and I said yes but the hotel restaurant was not open.

She said, just a moment, and picked up the phone. Her end of the conversation went something like, "REALLY? Two people? REALLY? At this hour? REEAAAALLLLLLY?"

Then she hung up and smiled and said, "He can seat you in about five minutes."

I thanked her and when we returned to the maitre d' he said, "Oh. Great. The gang's back" and proceeded to send us to a table at the absolute furthest corner of the restaurant. That wobbled. In a cubbyhole. Next to the kitchen. I was amused by how pointed it all was but the waiter was very kind and I don't think any of the other diners were too bothered by the fact that we were sitting there eating and doing Patrick rules sudoku (one person has three minutes to complete a line column or box before handing it to the other person - it's very civilized.)

I'm still not sure what the guy's problem was.

Then Patrick took his first second and third cab rides, he hung out with his new friend, I danced briefly and an enjoyable time was had by all.

IIIA.

We decided to walk down to the Art Institute from our hotel and we took turns taking pictures.

This is one of Patrick's of the Wrigley Building. He loved the skyway.

The weather was perfect.

As you guys promised, he loved this.

He took this one underneath it.

I don't suppose I can sink any lower in your esteem after admitting that dinosaurs perplex me so I might as well tell you that art museums bore the beejeezums out of me. I just don't get it. Any of it. 

Touring an art museum with Patrick however... good god it was so incredibly fun. He had such visceral reactions and such strong opinions and nothing he said was ever what I expected - it was like being administered a series of low voltage shocks repeteadly over a period of four hours, which was the longest I could give him before we had to go check out of our hotel. He would have stayed all day.

We started with the miniature rooms, which I thought were charming and Patrick found only moderately interesting. Then we went to see the Impressionists and just as I was working myself up into an ecstatic sigh over how dreamy it all was Patrick dismissed the entire collection.

"I have one word," he said, casting a critical eye over the Monets and Manets that ringed the room. "PASTEL."

"I like them," I said.

"You would," he retorted and I think it was my second snub of the weekend.

I tried to run through the Asian art collection but Patrick practically tripped me and forced me to look at Buddhas and screens until my eyes were about to fall out.

"This does nothing for me," I said.

"But it is so old," he said. "Here. Someone carved this in the 15th century. Isn't that COOL?"

"No," I said.

Then we got into the modern wing and Patrick inflated to twenty times his actual size and began to vibrate with appreciation. Well, mostly. He loved Rothko, Jasper Johns, Ellsworth Kelly and Lichtenstein. He absolutely adored a two part thing by Cy Twombley that looked like scribbling to me. He liked the Mondrian. He wasn't a fan of Matisse. He spent a long time with one particular Picasso before he slowly nodded.

I just spent twenty minutes trying to find a link to this one painting so I could show it to you but the art institute site has defeated me. Suffice it to say it was a painting with color blotches on it and Patrick spent such a long time in front of it that I thought he had fallen into a trance. 

Trying to entertain myself (and stay awake) I asked: "What does it look like to you?"

He was silent for a minute and then said, "I see a mountain with people climbing up it and there is snow and mist swirling around."

I thought wow hey I'm starting to get this and said, excitedly, "Oh! I can see that too!"

Patrick looked at me and said, "I was being sarcastic. It's abstract. You don't need to see anything in it, you know. You don't need to be literal with it."

Snubbed again. 

I finally found a comfortable bench and handed Patrick my camera (flash turned off naturally) and told him to go amuse himself. He did.

He asked me to take this one and he chortled as he set it up. The joke you see... I'm laughing as I remember how funny he thought this was... the joke is that the piece in front of Patrick is a photograph of a woman looking at a painting. In the painting (Caillebotte) a man and woman are looking away. Patrick wanted me to take this photograph of him not looking at the photograph of the woman looking at the painting of the people not looking at her.

It was all very meta. He couldn't stop giggling.

IIIB.

My mom asked, "How was Legoland Chicago?"

I hedged, "Well... Patrick liked it."

Mom said, "What? Was it like Chuck E Cheese?"

"Stupider," I replied.

And it was.

IV.

Meanwhile back at the old homestead...

I was on the phone with Steve on Saturday morning. In the background Caroline and Edward were kicking up a fuss about something. Steve had just told me that Edward had woken him up in the night and he, too, now knew the joys of trying to sleep in the race car bed.

He said, "There are about three inches of snow on the ground and it's still coming down pretty heavily."

I said, oh heavens, and tried to remember where I had stashed their snow boots. Then there was a crackle and a hiss and Steve said, "Aaaand the power's just gone out. Bye!"

It stayed off for two entire days during which time Steve had the twins but no electricity, which means no heat, no water, no light, no television and no internet.

GOOD LORD.

He was very cheerful about it, though, and when I floated home with Patrick brimming with joie de vivre I didn't even murmur when he asked if, maybe, he could go meet up with his friends down at the Ffarm for a few days?

He left this morning and I think he earned it.

PS I have ads up after a bit of an ad shortage so please feel free to check out the nice people who have thrown change into my open guitar case.

This is a board book about Christmas elves that actually looks kind of cute. Also that reminds me I am on my perennial quest for a decent chocolate advent calendar, by which I mean an advent calendar that contains decent chocolate that does not taste like wax. Any ideas?

This is a book about the hazards of drinking cow's milk, a subject about which I know nothing.

This is a book about how to make cute little cakes on sticks, a subject about which I wish to learn more.

And THIS is a link to Clarity the jewelry maker.

Speaking of Clarity, several weeks ago she sent me an email and said that she appreciated the blog love we gave her and as a token of her gratitude she wanted to make me a little something. And I said no no no... well OK! She asked for my ring size and when I told her she laughed and said that she was always up for a challenge and the idea of making a dainty delicate BIG ring appealed to her.

I have very fat fingers, you know, and well you may laugh but one day I shall be able to survive for weeks on an ice floe because of all my stored resources.

A little while later the most beautiful ring appeared in my mailbox - all lacy silver swirls with a moonstone for Patrick flanked by two blue topaz for Caroline and Edward. It really is gorgeous and I love it and if you look very hard at that top picture of me and Patrick I am pointing at the camera with it.

Anyway she bought another ad and it is on the sidebar and she is a blog reader that makes lovely and very affordable jewelry to make people (like you. and me) happy. So check her out.

Comments

[Stephm]

The restaurant was David Burke's Primehouse, and if you think the maitre d' is snotty you should see most of the clientele.

[rosie]

i love the art museum conversation. makes me want to look for you guys at random gas station bathrooms so we can hang out.

[txtingmrdarcy]

Good heavens. I could read an entire book about the adventures of you and Patrick. You're a brilliant comedy team.

[Liz]

Your smile is quite infectious - thank you - needed that today.

My (new) deepest fear is that I will be trapped in an elevator with Patrick and I will not be able to carry on a coversation with him. That boy is amazing!

[elsimom]

Omigosh with the no power. We had a tree fall into the cul-de-sac - then spent two days driving in and out beneath the trunk after a path was chain-sawed through, and the hubby spent the whole day with the "men of the neighborhood" rescuing stuck people (including somebody's snow plowing guy) and dealing with said tree. I got stuck repeatedly about 4 blocks from the house (you literally cannot reach our house without going uphill). BUT - we had power and warmth and it all ended up feeling more adventurous than anything (except for the stuck part - that is a bad feeling). Kudos to Steve for managing through it!
Sounds like an awesome trip. I like art museums, but I have a lot of artists in my family, so I've been to a whole lot of them.

[tree town gal]

ok, honestly... you look beyond fabulous and it's not just because you bought red shoes although maybe that helps. my god, woman, you don't look 30 yrs. hate. you. a bit. just a bit.

pastel... that boy. my lordy lordy. brilliant is one thing but he's beyond. a soulful genius - how rare is that. what a gift you share with us. the sense of humor alone...

[victoria]

We took our 16 y.o. niece to Paris and Vienna a year ago. She was kind of pissy sometimes (jet lag is hard on the young). When she started sulking in Demel, one of Vienna's most famous patisseries, I hinted we could put her on a plane back to her parents if she wasn't having a good time, and she snapped right out of it.

She's a very nice kid, but travel is stressful and kids sometimes forget their manners when they're tired.

I love Patrick, he's adorable and beautiful and a genius and a very loving older brother, but his attitude towards you who had just gone to the trouble and expense of taking him on this very nice trip that catered to his every whim seemed, uh, perhaps worthy of a gentle reprimand? I know he's asserting his independence, and it must be frustrating to be such an incredibly smart person stuck inside a pint-sized body that adults insist on condescending to (I'm just guessing), but he should be polite to you esp. when you're escorting him on a special trip.

But all in all it sounds like a fabulous trip and I'm happy you had a great time.

-victoria

[Nicky]

Your trip sounds awesome, Patrick is an absoloute legend!! I cant wait till my little man is old enough to do that sort of thing with!!
Now tell me WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO YOUR HAIR, AND HOW CAN I DO THE SAME???

[em]

http://www.ukgoods.com/magento/cadbury-dairy-milk-advent-calendar.html
i'm a bit of a choc snob, and this one has choc from UK, and they are great. no wax at all!

as always your post is awesome. i look fwd to doing stuff like this with just one child at a time too!

[juliag]

We do the PlayMobil calendars...never did the chocolate kind in my family and now my boys are allergic to nearly everything. Boo.

But certainly there is some gourmet chocolate calendar out there, right?

[llcsis]

HAH! Told you to go to the MCA (museum of contemporary art) rather than the AI... lol I am equally marginally entertained by the AI but 50% more (which does not read enthralled) by the MCA. So NEXT time. My bet is Patrick will love the spiral stairway which bottoms out into a koi pond.

So glad you had a lovely time and that I did not give into temptation and try to stalk you throughout Chicagoland.

[llcsis]

Oh - and I notice your hair is silky and straight! You must be very happy with whatever method you ended up trying for the curly issue.

[Mama Fuss]

Well I think you're famous. As a matter of fact, on the 2 times you have emailed me, personally, I've gotten so excited my husband kinda of chuckles at me. "I got an email from Julia!" I say. (and he knows exactly who I'm talking about) "I got an email from JULIA! And she commented on my comment, personally!" It's a high I like to ride for a day or so. So yeah, if I met you in person I would think you were famous. And I'd either babble incoherently or not be able to mutter more than a "hi."

[Slim]

I drink milk.

hahahahahahahahahahaha

[Sue Brook]

HI JULIA!!!

Yes, I'm the woman from the restroom. Like the writer above said regarding your emails, I carried the thrill of meeting you through my entire weekend. (And all I had to do was say to my sister, "I met Julia!" and she'd freak completely out each and every time.)

We had a lovely time in Minnesota, though I was getting a bit worried when it had snowed nearly a full 24 hours by Saturday night. But it was a fantastic "first snow" and my older daughter was so happy you'd have thought she'd been told dessert was the only thing on the menu for every meal.

My youngest, however, was stricken with the same flu bug that Caroline apparently had and we spent Friday night alternately cleaning up (walls, carpet, bedding, child), rocking and singing to the poor babe.

But all in all, a good weekend. I'm glad you and Patrick had such a memorable time ... tell him it was a thrill to meet him, too!

[Leah]

I'm impressed that woman recognized you. You hardly ever post pictures of yourself, or not since I've been reading. But based on this post ... you're very pretty!

[Hetty Fauxvert]

My mother was an abstract painter and an art history teacher (college level), and I think it always grieved her slightly that my tastes run definitely toward representational art. I think she would have tried to steal Patrick right away from you, like the elves, and keep him hidden in a mountain where they could have enjoyed Rothko all day together.

And of his dismissive, "Pastel" -- did they have any van Goghs there? Because good ol' van Gogh (pronounce it "van gokhhhhh" if you want to snub Patrick right back) is very non-pastel. To the extreme, one might say. Although there is some quality about van Gogh that just does not translate in books, so you have to see it in person.

All that said ... Patrick still slays me. (Air quotes around "famous?" Chortle!) You are all very, very lucky people. :)

[Sally]

Hey Julia! I live in Germany, land of good chocolate advent calendars. I'd be happy to
send one off to you. I'm Sally by the way - miscarriage Sally (not my real nickname). Remember me?

[tgsdmom]

To Mama Fuss: you too? ;-)

[Cathy]

Yes, please tell us what you did to make your hair so shiny and straight!

[elsa]

You look nice with straight hair, but I liked your curls much more! As a neddle flat haired person, I always wanted curls. Now both my girls have lovely locks - that must be why I chose their father, no other explanation for that poor idea... But I'm sure that's not why you picked Steve!

[Emily Faulkner]

Sounds like a wonderful trip - and how nice to have such fun one-on-one time with Patrick. I'm sure that was amazing for both of you.

We have just booked our trip to Tyler Place for next summer - THANK YOU for blogging about it, because otherwise I would have never known such a place exists. I CANNOT wait!!!

[Tiffany]

Love those photos look likes so much fun

XOXO,

http://outfitidentifier.com/

[Lisa]

I have a wooden advent calendar, and each year I go to a local candy store that makes really unique and delicious treats, and fill the calendar myself. It's fun because I can tailor the treats based on the day (my step-daughter isn't with us full time), and can be as varied as I like. It's also nice to support local craftspeople.

[Kathleen]

I'm going to sound so ooooold...but as the mother of a college student, I can only say that I really cherish the trips that my son and I took, just the two of us. I'm so glad that you and Patrick got to have this time together.

[Jesse]

Patrick sounds like he would really enjoy more contemporary art & would make a great artist himself! In the spirit of encouraging kids' exposure to contemporary art (as a compliment to, say, the "Pastel" work we all know so well), I'd love to suggest some artists he might enjoy.

I think he would really like the humour in the work of Francis Alys who started out his art career with really smart walking-based works, like pulling a magnetic 'dog' around the city to see what sticks, or going on a walk with a thread from his sweater tied to his departure point so that the sweater unravels as he walks, like it does in cartoons.
http://www.francisalys.com/public.html

Maurizio Cattelan is known for his biting but hilarious sculptures and performances, although you might want to make sure they're appropriate for the under 10 set.

http://mauriziocattelan.altervista.org/galleria.html

Fishli & Weiss are a duo who are known for making Rube-Goldberg-type contraptions and sculptures - if you can get the unabridged version (29 minutes) of their video "The Way Things Go" online, it's spectacular.

http://icarusfilms.com/cat97/t-z/the_way_.html

He might also like Tara Donovan, who isn't as funny as the aforementioned artists, but deals with science and her sculptures are incredibly beautiful -usually constructed from a vast number of one object (pencils, buttons, plastic straws, mylar tape, etc) to create geological landscapes.

http://www.acegallery.net/artistmenu.php?Artist=8

Anyway, these are some of my favourite artists and I have a feeling that Patrick might relate. :)

[brandi]

Just wanted to say I got the most awesome earrings from Clarity after reading this post. They are soooo pretty! Thanks for mentioning her!

[Rebekah]

What an amazing trip you had with your sweet boy. I need to do that with our oldest. Soon.

A couple of Patrick's pictures literally had me leaning into the computer ... his eye for lines/space is really quite remarkable. Seriously.

WTH did Steve do with the twins that whole time?!?! I would have lost my ever-loving mind. And high-tailed it out of the house, most likely. To a hotel or something. Yikes!

[Jamie]

Julia - I'm a longtime reader who works in the Wrigley Building...if you guys are ever back in Chicago, shoot me an email - I can probably get the catwalk opened up for Patrick, if he wants. :) Just let me know.