Occupational Hazards

I put a baby gate on Patrick's door a few weeks ago in an attempt to balance the mulitple needs of the family; namely: the cat likes to sleep on Patrick's bed during the day but if we leave the door open so he can pee somewhere other than the rug, Caroline and Edward slip in and play Godzilla in Lego Tokyo. So we fished a gate out of the basement and crammed it into Patrick's doorway and it has been annoying me ever since. In theory it is a swing gate that enables a person to glide through while carrying three stacked laundry baskets but in practice I tend to just climb over it and this is exactly what I was doing last Thursday night when I caught my foot and lost my balance. Edward - who hates to be apart from me, especially when I am enjoying the freedom of the Lego city - was standing on the other side of the gate as I fell, so my superhuman maternal instincts had to kick in and rather than crush Eddybear I flung myself to the left.

I was on the phone with my mother at the time so she heard me say "Aiiiieeee!" followed by "Edward are you alright?" before "Gotta go!"

Edward was fine. The toes on my left foot, however, had not fared so well.

You know when you stub your toe really hard and it hurts like a merengue fetcher but you breathe in and out a few times and the pain begins to fade? It was like that but without the fading. Five minutes after the fall I was still gasping in agony.

Edward crouched next to me and said, "Yook at all de cuhyeurs, Mommy." I agreed that my foot was rapidly turning an interesting series of colors.

I still had the phone in my hand so called Steve who was down at the Ffarm.

"I think I broke a bone," I announced when he answered.

It wasn't a great connection.

"You think... what?"

"I think I broke a bone," I repeated.

"You think you broke your hip?" He sounded concerned.

"No, no, my toe. I think I have just broken my toe."

"Oh," he said, "well that's not nearly as a bad as a hip. Huh. I wonder if I've ever broken a toe? Yeah probably. There was that one time... ."

I told him to save it for his memoirs. He told me to stick a bag of frozen peas on whatever area was most swollen and take some ibuprofen. I said I would call him back. I hollered for Patrick and announced that I had hurt myself. He said, oh, really, what'd you hurt? I indicated my foot.

Patrick said, "Oh my gosh that is too disgusting for me to even look at. I can't believe you showed that to me." Then he looked around and said, "Hey! The gate's down! Edward didn't go into my room did he?"

I somehow doubt that he will be going into medicine when he gets older.

I asked him to please just try to be useful and he said he'd attempt to go find Daddy's old crutches. He added that he hoped I would be able to move soon because having me lying outside his door made him uncomfortable.

The phone rang. It was my mother.

"What happened? Is Edward ok? You MUST stop screaming and then hanging up on me."

I explained and she tsk'd and then I decided to call my friend Noelle with whom I consult on all medical matters. She said she thought big toes should be checked but that she'd ask her husband when he was free. Then she offered to do whatever, whenever to help. I love my friend Noelle. 

By this time my normally fat foot was swollen to ridiculous proportions and the first two toes were mottled dark blue and red. I scooted down the stairs on my bottom and then hobbled to find some ibuprofen. I took two. Then I took one more. I corralled the children by sheer force of will (where had Caroline been this whole time? I have no idea. we'll probably figure it out next Spring when we go to start the riding mower and all the wheels fall off;) deposited them into their respective beds and collapsed into mine.

The next day my toes looked terrible and the big one hurt like first love. I decided I should get it examined by a doctor, a decision which was only made possible by Noelle meeting me in the parking lot of the clinic and taking Caroline and Edward (I know what you're thinking and yes Lancelot probably would have driven all night - again - just to buy me some shoes but Steve did eventually come home early; just not that morning.) Anyway Noelle took Caroline and Edward to the library. I got an xray. And I had broken my big toe.

There is something strangely satisfying about having your dire health suspisions confirmed. Like, SEE? I TOLD you it hurt. 

I now have a little shoe boot thingy for that foot and a new defensive reaction that prompted me to snap at Patrick as my superspecialsnowflake teased around me in line at the grocery, "If you pretend to step on my big toe one more time so help me I will actually slap your face."

He was shocked. I was, a little, too. 

So that was the big event from my week and if I thought getting three kids up and out in the morning on a cold day was a solo challenge all I can say is that I never imagined trying to do it while limping with one foot in a flip-flop.

You will no doubt appreciate my restraint in not posting a picture of my toe. It turned black.

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My hair. Yes. My hair is straight. The curls weren't so bad. In fact I like my curls. But after Caroline and Edward were born my hair fell out and three years later the hair around my face has grown back like... a ball of lint? A tumbleweed? Here. Click on this (happy holidays, by the way, because this is the closest we might get to cards this year) and note that the last century to be attracted by permanent curl clumps hovering over the ears was the 18th. It had to go and there didn't seem to be enough product on the planet to enable me to flatten it.

So the woman who cuts my hair suggested Coppola Keratin straightening (now with x% less formaldehyde! maybe!) Actually what she said as she looked in bemusement at my hair - noting that the frizzy stuff just didn't seem to grow - is that there was this fairly new thing on the market that might have been created specifically for me and my hairline from the more humid parts of Hell.

I said, ooooh, asked how much and then said, ah. And that was the end of that until my mother sent me a birthday check with the instruction to spend the money on something just for me. It doesn't last forever but for now I wash my hair and do absolutely nothing to it and it still looks... normal.

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So it is Black Friday and I have absolutely no idea what I am getting anyone for Christmas. I had planned on the Fisher-Price iXL things for Caroline and Edward because they like to listen to music and books on their Playskool Just for Me players in bed every night and those things are on their last legs. But I looked at the iXL at Target and I'm concerned that the stylus will be too hard for them to use. Have you seen one? Do you have one? Any other suggestions? I find this age particularly trying to shop for because I want to get them things they can grow into and the leap from 2 3/4 to 3 to 4 is pretty enormous. Right now they both like music. Caroline likes to listen to it (LOUDLY) and dance while Edward likes to listen and try to identify the instruments. Edward still loves all cars and trucks and trains. He has been carrying around a toy catalog (he calls it his magazine) and he sleeps with it turned to page 42. This page has a parking garage with cars but it looks more littler toddler appropriate. I was thinking about the Fisher-Price stand and play ramp with the wheelies but, again, I am worried that it might be too young. Do you have any preschool car enthusiast for whom you have succesfully shopped in the past? I could use ideas. He is also DESPERATE to learn how to read if that offers any other hints.

[He keeps saying, "What does that spell?"

Caroline will glance at the word - like C-A-T - and say, "Oh, Edward that's easy! That spells 'dangerous.'"

What Caroline lacks in actual knowledge she makes up for in unmitigated gall. The other day I got a note home from the preschool saying they had been talking about the Spanish words for parts of the body.

I said, "So Caroline, what is a cabeza?"

Caroline instantly said, "Cabraza is an empty oval, Mommy."

Yeah. OK.]

Anyway, ideas for Edward would be appreciated. Also Caroline. Good grief. She is so hard to shop for because she has the attention span of a hyperactive gnat. She likes everything but nothing for more than a few minutes at a time. One second she'll be lovingly cradling a doll and pretending to feed it cereal; the next she has literally chucked Baby over her shoulder into the window and is demanding paints. And then there are the nephews and Steve... . Patrick is easy this year because he filled two catalogs with dozens of sticky notes and then went back through and coded them with a star system to indicate the urgency of his desire - although you sometimes have interesting esoteric ideas for him so if you've seen anything to appeal to... his type lemme know.

In fact, if you have ideas about presents for just about anyone you know please tell me. I'm stumped.

PS Patrick and I went to see Tangled today. It was awesome. Patrick thought it was "ok" but I loved it.

Comments

[Daffryn]

Our kids (6 and 3) have played constantly with the Yamaha keyboard YPT210 ($105 at Amazon but cheaper elsewhere.) We've had this thing for two years and no-one's bored yet. Some of us are occasionally testy but that's not to denigrate the machine for one second. The kids play on the keyboard; mess around with the pre-programmed sounds and beats, and dance endlessly to the songs. The stand it comes with is NOT Caroline-proof. That thing lurches if the wind's blowing two counties away but a fix should be trivial for anyone other than the members of this family.

Both boys have been thrilled with the Tonka toys they've got. The Sanitation Truck, while testy-ness testing, has been a hit for five years.

Actually the toy they use the most isn't a toy. That formerly red, used-to-be-upholstered, once-had-square-cushions, 8ft couch is a fort, a ship, base, bed, you name it. It sure ain't an adult sitting space. But that doesn't help your present buying problem does it?

Toe pictures please.

[Kristine (Mommy Needs Therapy)]

Yes, Steve is hot!

I'm madly clicking away at all the links your readers have recommended since my boys are the same age as yours and have similar interests.

My car crazy three year old has been playing with his big brothers match box cars since he could hold them and push them around while saying vroom. We have an old Fisher Price garage, but I'm seriously considering the Plan toys that several people have suggested. We had a cheaper version of that for my older son when he was three, but he has an amazing ability to break just about anything and a year or so ago we finally threw it away.

Kiel just got Chuck the Talking truck for his birthday and he is having a ball with it. Much cuteness involved when he starts talking to it and getting frustrated when it doesn't do what he wants.

[sarah]

When the pacifiers were given to the toy store "so they could give them to babies without teeth" and the toy store "gave" my 2.5 yr. old anything he wanted in exchange (does the desperation show?) he chose a playmobil fire truck that my 7 yr. old covets. (Who loved Tangled by the way, she loved that "cupid" outlaw) And he sleeps with his hand draped over it everynight. It will hopefully last forever like playmobil generally does.

[meg]

My son is a little older than Edward and likes cars as well. We had the FP parking garage, and the ramp broke (it's not as sturdy as the old folding one they had when i was a kid). so i would not recommend it.
Crane trucks (with hooks so they can pick up dump trucks! which are full of stuff!) are big hits here now. Last year, closer to 2, he was obsessed with little matchbox cars. they are great for stockings.
i hope your toe feels better!

[Shawna]

My 2 1/2 year old is a big car/truck/tractor fan, but since he got a lot of this stuff for past Christmases and birthdays, this year we got him a set with a crane and a couple of digger/construction-type toys and a bunch of road signs and little men. The crane can be cranked up and down with a handle. It wasn't too expensive and we got it at Walmart.

[Another Julia]

If you're interested in Back To Basics toys, here's an offer for $40 worth of toys for $20 right now. Here's the website, in case you're interested:

http://deals.mamapedia.com/chicago?utm_medium=topnav&utm_source=mmp&utm_term=misc

If you buy from there, you can designate a school to receive 5% of the purchase.

[Heather]

Otto got the Plan Toys City Parking Garage (http://www.amazon.com/Plan-Toys-City-Parking-Garage/dp/B0001VV1GK) for Christmas when he was about Edward's age. He loved it (loves it still, won't let me move it out of his room, and he's almost 6).

If she doesn't have one already, would Caroline like a dress up box? I'm planning to decorate a box (or find an old suitcase) and fill it with a variety of dress-up things for Bel this year.

How about a Hoberman Sphere for the mathematician? http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Dtoys-and-games&field-keywords=hoberman+sphere&x=0&y=0 *I* would like one, they look pretty cool.

:^)

[nearlydawn]

Our kids are about the same age, so I'll tell you what's on my little boy's list... I made the list, so take it for what it's worth. :)

Hot Wheels cars - he has a few and loves them. They seem well made - we've not had parts come off of any of ours. :)

Matchbox Classic Car Garage - Toys R Us has it...

Toy Story 3 Duplo set -- note, I'm not into movie-marketed items, but these sets are pretty neat. Not sure if you've tried this size blocks with C&E yet.

A couple of large floor puzzles - pirate ship or transportation themes.

Board games from Hasbro - and the Elefun game. I hear Elefun is way fun for this age group.

A cheap digital camera - Mommy and Daddy are both always using cameras, but I'd rather he practice on a $50 one vs my $300 one. :)

He may not get all of these things, but that's my "list".

[jb]

get some kind of garage for Edward - my 5 almost 6 car/truck lover would still be playing with it IF I had ever gotten him one (though still asking for it). good luck with Caroline. we live urban and my daughter who sounds a bit like yours loves her skoot bike and is getting a mini-kick. friend has one. she is not yet 3 but very coordinated....check out the mini kicks...good luck. oh, and found something called blue track from...amazon? fat brain toys? it would be a Patrick/Edward combo but might be a big hit...

[jb]

I want a hair pic..the toe, black, hmm, says enough for me.

[Heather]

Eeeeek! I hope your big toe feels better soon. I know what you mean with being grateful to have it confirmed it was a break of "I told you it hurt!" Hang in there,

[Kathleen]

I was a little bummed that my son, a college freshman, decided to spend Thanksgiving with friends that live near his school rather than come home. But! Then he called and asked if he could cash instead of gifts this year to spend in Manhattan. That was a very easy, "yes!"

So, yes, I miss him and that sucks. But! No more trying to figure out what the hell to get him for Christmas! Wheeee!

I know this is no help to you now, it's just something to look forward to down the road. Good luck with the gifts!

[Kathleen]

PS Hope your toe feels better soon.

[cristalina]

I second Clarabella's suggestion of Uncommon Goods. There's this set of Science Fair books Patrick may like, also an engineering game. http://www.uncommongoods.com/for-kids/kids-gifts-5-years
Spoonsisters.com also has some fun items.

[Becky]

I have been thinking more about 2s toys for Christmas since I have a 2 and I was thinking that what I really look for is the ability to build on as they get older. So, we have an easel, play kitchen, duplos, Thomas, the plan parking deck, and a variety of blocks. The nice thing about all of these is that a lot of them started with my 4 year old when he was younger and he is still playing with them as we add to them but my 2 year old is enjoying the more basic versions- i.e. My 2 year old likes building very simple track patterns with the train tracks but my 4 year old is starting to branch into more complex patterns and "villages." We started with a knock off train set with just a few track pieces and a couple of trains and have added track pieces, trains, and whatnot over time. In fact, I withheld about 1/2 the original train set when we first gave it to my son even though it was already basic- he was happy with much less and then on one especially long, rainy day, I had something to pull out of my hat. Just something to consider when contemplating your choices.

[Erika]

From Amazon: Sing-Along CD player and Imagability Wedgits To Go. Also, perhaps the Find It games (pink is hard to see the items in it, though.)

[liz]

Get the garage on page 42. I loved mine for years and years.

I'm so sorry about your toes.

My family loves Connect 4X4, Rummikub, Bananagrams, Make and Break, and Labyrinth.

Also,

[liz]

I meant to say, Also, all things Lego.

[Rachel]

The Discovery store has some cool stuff for surprizingly cheap. These are great fun: http://store.discovery.com/detail.php?p=263978&v=discovery_toys-games and Edward would probably love this: http://store.discovery.com/detail.php?p=264928&v=discovery_toys-games

Three of my curly haired friends have been doing Brazilian Blowouts which they say is so good it's like getting a unicorn for Christmas. They look pretty awesome. If I were less chicken about doing stuff to my hair I'd try it (my hair is super curly and knee lenghth when wet).

Make sure you have a good arch support in your bootie, those things are great for pancaking your feet.

[h]

Plan Toys road/Brio train system has my vote, too! We bought ours on ebay, which in my book is the best way to get high-quality toys at a reasonable price.

[Mama Fuss]

Ouch! I am SO sorry about your toe. I broke my pinkie toe once, which was bad enough. I also hairline fractured my foot when I stepped on it funny while it was incredibly "asleep" (do not recommend!) and had to be in a cast for weeks. (you do get more "respect" when you're in a cast - it looks worse than it is sometimes) but either way it blows.

Got my daughter the iXL for Christmas this year. She is a couple of months younger than the twins. I think she'll like it and grow into it. She also loves to "take pictures" so I'm thinking of getting her a toddler safe camera for her birthday.

Do they already have a play kitchen? That's what my Caroline keeps asking for (her grandma got it and it's coming "from Santa")

[victoria]

I am so sorry about your broken toe. I can imagine that it's a horribly unpleasant injury for anyone, but especially for a busy mother of 3 little kids when her husband is out of town. Not fair. I hope it gets better fast.

[Gina]

I vote for a picture of the toe AND the newly straightened hair!!

[Erin]

My aunt bought my toddler a Pillow Pal...she is also of the "attention-span-of-a-gnat" breed and she LOVES that thing. We are also thinking about getting her some Scooby Doo or Carebear cartoons as she recently discovered both and is completely enamored. Funnily enough, she also loves cars and trucks and my husband got her one of those electric quad car things...like a powerwheels. She uses it inside and out and loves it. Even just to sit on it and watch TV. She is a year and a half and figured out how to drive it fast enough. They also make two-seaters if you want to take that route.

[Shawna]

Last year you said you were going to get the twins capes this year! (I just came looking for the link myself for my little guy).

[the grendler]

Musicblocks by neurosmith -- they're fantastic. Fun for kids and grown-ups and Patrick.

[another Julia]

My favorite toys for kids of all ages are Wedgits and Magnatiles. Both are building toys, and they are awesome!

[Dawn]

how about getting Patrick a subscription to National Geographic Kids?

I hope your foot is feeling much better.

[Kate]

Total non-sequitor...

I was reading your archives - not because I'm a creeper or anything, just because it's work and I'm bored, and I clicked on a picture of you and Patrick in June 2004, and oh my holy hell does Edward look exactly like him, minus the blond.

Just thought I'd point that out, in case you hadn't noticed yourself, considering they're your children and all...and. Well. I'm going to hush now.