Ringing Like A Bell

I knew Caroline was under the weather when she came downstairs on Sunday morning only to get a pillow from my room and make herself a new bed on the couch. I asked if she felt ok and she rested a hand against her brow and whispered, "No."

I was so moved by the pathos of her Little Eva that I went to get the camera and she obliged by re-enacting her original pose. I am considering buying her a fainting couch for Christmas.

She really did feel crummy - melodrama notwithstanding - and she punctuated this fact by waking up that night and vomiting all over her bed and the carpet and her pajamas and the pillow and the lamp and East St Louis. Good Lord. Steve was down at the Ffarm (he spent five days there; annoying the squirrels, mainly) and I missed him at that moment more than I ever had in my life: his gentle smile, his sturdy commonsense, his ability to scour surfaces with Clorox... but we managed without him and I eventually got her back to sleep. I stayed with her for an hour or two and then stumbled back to my own bed where I slept for another hour or two until Edward woke me up by crying Mommy mommy mommy. I went back upstairs dreading a new hazmat situation but found Edward sitting up and smiling at me.

"Edward," I said, "It's three in the morning. What do you want?"

He said, "Should you cuddle in the race car bed?"

I said, "No. I love you. No. Good night" and started to walk out the door when he extended his two fat hands imploringly and said, "But I missed you Mommy."

Clearly I am besotted with him (I know I have said it before but Edward is just so... pretty. and chunky. and soft) and thus I did, indeed, agree to cuddle in the race car bed. Actually I fell asleep in there and woke up in the morning to find Edward lovingly patting my face and suggesting that I needed to go downstairs and make waffles. It took me a minute to figure out where I was, two more to realize it was a school day and half a second to determine that we were running really really late. I did not make waffles.  

Caroline and Edward stayed home from school on Tuesday - because not only am I a courteous user of parking lots, I am also thoughtful when it comes to not exposing other children to stomach viruses; although I admit: I WAS TEMPTED

... quick parking lot story:

the day after I wrote that last post I was about to pull into a parking space at Target when a man pulled into it from the other side. I mean he was in the next aisle over and pulled through a space in order to take the one I was about to use. When he saw me he immeditely gestured to show that he was willing to pull out and I waved him on because I just wanted to be near the shopping cart corrall with the jumbo two-child seat carts and there were plenty of other spaces. So I drove on and parked and got the cart and got Caroline and Edward strapped into it and when I finally moved toward the store the guy was waiting for me at the door so he could apologize for cutting me off. It was completely unnecessary but I was very touched and it was all I could do not to tell him that on my crazy perseverators list of parking lot offenders he had barely made the 2010 Top 100.

What a nice man.

Anyway.

Steve was gone and Caroline was sick but Steve came back and Caroline got better but the twins did not go to school and I was running on 150% children for days and days. We read a lot.

I had a realization recently that even if we had never had the twins it would have been fine. Really. Not that I don't... good grief... ADORE them and feel utterly and completely grateful that I have not one, not two but three perfect lumps of perfection... just that it would have been ok. I would have been ok. At the time we were leaping through flaming hoops to get a pregnancy to work I could not see that possibility. I wanted to have another child so much - and I really do get a tremendous amount of pleasure from kids; mine, yours, that one over there - and the miscarriages made me so unhappy that I was convinced that I would be miserable for the rest of my life but I don't think I would have been. It would have been disappointing and it would have taken an adjustment for me to accept the life I had versus the life I thought I would have but I think - I hope - that I would have gotten over it. I would have been lucky to just have Patrick and Patrick would have been superb as an only child.

That said 

watching the three of them interact slays me.

Edward plays hard to get

But eventually relents

Patrick explains tension and wind speed

Caroline says, right, got it, thanks

And then there were bubbles (if you enlarge this one her expression is worth the trouble)

I have a friend, a very old friend, a very very very old friend who is getting married in Chicago on Saturday. Steve said, GO! For gods' sake, GO! Take the weekend. Have fun. We'll be fine.

And I thought well ok. I will. I will go. I will take the weekend. And I will have fun.

Then I thought about it some more and realized that I would have even more fun if I brought Patrick with me. And we stopped at the Dells and went to a waterpark on Friday night. And then we painted Chicago, Patrick-style.

So that is what we are going to do. Tomorrow I am getting Patrick early from school and we're going to drive to Wilderness in the Dells (they're running a great special - $99 including waterpark passes and my choice of a queen suite or a queen with wet bar; I laughed.) Saturday we will be attending my friend's afternoon wedding and that night Patrick is going to stay with my friend's 7 year old son and my friend's friend's 7 year old daughter and some as-yet-unspecified caregiver and I will go to the bar they've rented out and dance. Well... "dance."

For the first time ever priceline completely let me down as I was forced to pay a truly ridiculous amount of money for a hotel Saturday night. All week I kept creeping up my priceline offer thinking surely I would get an acceptance but no. Eventually I googled something like "what the hell Chicago hotel prices 11/13 insane" and got three words and a number: american, medical, association, 22000. As in, twenty-two thousand people will be attending the AMA conference in Chicago. Plus the Bears are playing the Vikings at home.  We were screwed.

Oh well. I reached a point where it began to feel like I was bidding with goblin gold and said to hell with it and got us a room that will make Patrick swoon. Although I prefer to be thrifty and this was anything but thrifty it will be the urban evening Patrick craves and fifty years from now who'll know the difference?

As I drove to school today Patrick planned our itinerary for Sunday. He wants to go up the Sears Tower and he wants to ride the El and he wants to go to the Art Institute and sketch (this surprised me quite a lot but it is dawning on me that in his own way Patrick is something of a serious artist - he just doesn't work in any form I recognize as such; how nice for Patrick that my bourgeois limitations will provide such a sturdy foundation from which he can launch himself) and he wants to walk around on sidewalks.

He said, "I just want to become PART of the city you know? Also, I'll need lunch."

On the drive home I worried about how we were going to do all this immersion in the three hours we had before we would need to leave and I mentioned my concern to Steve when I got home. Steve suggested we take another day and just keep Patrick out of school on Monday.

Caroline is shocked.

So that is what we are going to do. I am so excited and not to beat the dead pharmaceutical rep but I cannot help but feel my new tra-la-la-la-la attitude is due in large part to the Celexa. I haven't felt this breezy in years. I even bought red shoes. Red! Oh and I met my new Someone and I liked her and she's having me read a book on Buddhist meditation techniques that I promise I will get to just the second I finish... fiction.

Any other thoughts on what Patrick might like in Chicago? Although I lived there for... three years? Five?... the only thing I remember is that last call doesn't happen until breakfast.

PS Patrick has started a new sideline from Letter Comix: State Comix! I thought this one was pleasantly odd.

Comments

[Laura]

The Field Museum is one of my favoritest places in the history of ever because there are DINOSAURS and MUMMIES. Also you can walk through the history of the world from beginning to end.

If you want to continue with the splurging and take Patrick somewhere ridiculously wonderful for dinner while you are there, I recommend Mercat a la Planxa. The owner, Jose Garces, is an Iron Chef, and I had the best meal of my life in that restaurant. I'm planning to go back and visit Chicago just so I can eat there again.

[Meegan]

Field Museum (Sue), aquarium (skip the show...they're training for the holiday deal and it's lame right now) and Science & Industry are all great. Do NOT go to Navy Pier. So lame. Very expensive, touristy, and the sorry-excuse-for-a-children's-museum will make you cry. My four year old was so bored there, the highlight of the trip was the damned Happy Meal we bought afterward. The architecture tour on the river is awesome, always. I don't know if you could get Patrick to do it, but a carriage ride starting at Water Tower is pretty fun. Big lines for the Sears Tower. Big. But the glass floor part is pretty darn neat. Someone else suggested the Hancock and it's a good option. Lincoln Park Zoo is great for those of us who live in the city, but as a zoo it's not exactly top-notch. Art Institute and a walk over the "the bean" is worth the time. Skip the kid part at the AI. It's really geared for littles.

Enjoy the city! Hope the weather cooperates.

[brenna]

Reading about Patrick I always get the delightful feeling that people are who they are from the very beginning. It's so fun to hear a voice put to a personality that you've been describing for years.

Also, alert us when State Comix: Virginia's Revenge comes out.

[Donna Mirabile]

I loved loved LOVED the Museum of Science and Industry as a child/teen/adult and still love it to this day. I live in Utah now but if/when I ever get back to Chicago I will GO again. I think it is great if you can get there; otherwise, everyone else's comments sound terrific!

Thank you for sharing all this with us. I had to smile when you said you would have been okay with one child. I have two -- the second one conceived after 24 months of secondary infertility treatments that were so MINOR compared to so many others. I love and adore my second son of course, but yes, there was a time when I thought, "You know, it would have been okay if I had had an only child." I think this occurred to me when they were torturing each other.

Best wishes,

and lots of luck!

[Swiggy]

Stay away from the science museum, Patrick will be bored. I recommend the pier, last I checked there was a ferris wheel overlooking the lake.

[Alexicographer]

Everyone else has covered Chicago and done far better than I could have, so I'll just say: have fun and I look forward to reading about it.

On being OK with having just one kid: this is where I have needed to end up (well, one kid plus two adult stepkids, and while I wouldn't swap them for anything, getting to start [step]parenting in the middle of the teenage years is, though lovely in its own way -- I mean that -- not the same as getting to start from scratch), and mostly, I get where you are or, rather, would be, because it's clear you're not where I am. But I do wish not so much that I had another child as that my son had siblings closer to him in age (i.e. less than 2 decades older than he is) because of the sort of thing you describe. Ah well, perhaps [step]grandchildren will come along, and having just the one does make it easier, at the margins, to visit geographically distant cousins who are dear, and close in age to my son, in addition to being dear. Also, my [step]kids are utterly wonderfully delightful with their little brother and that is priceless.

LOL, because your google search is exactly the sort I engage in and I am often astounded by how well they work. Though I was at first puzzled by why, in the case of yours, the conference scheduled in the year 2200 would have such a big impact now.

Last but not least, after reading your parking lot post ... I was backing up in a gas-station parking lot with someone walking behind my car. I'm not actually sure how close to her I was (that sounds terrible, but I mean, I don't remember the specifics) but I clearly scared her, and I decided, having read your post and the many comments, to do the right thing ... so I went into the station and apologized to her. It was a very rainy day and she accepted the apology but then asked if I could give her a ride home, "nearby" (which was accurate, more or less). I did briefly consider whether the ALI blogosphere was going to lead to my brutal murder (or just a mundane mugging), but in fact I gave her a ride home and in fact she was perfectly pleasant. So there you go.

[Kirsten]

I love the comic - totally awesome! (Especially Maine's folded arms at the end - that just slays me. *grin*)

[Sarah]

The Museum of Science and Industry is having a person live in a clear box in the lobby for a month. She tweets and blogs about living in the museum. She can wander around the museum at night only, by day she is in the box.

Patrick seems like the kind of kid that would find that interesting. Or the submarine or the coal mine or the 8,000 super geeky things there. You may not get him out.

Give yourself the whole day and if he wants to bail you can hit the Mity Nice Grill in Water Tower for a burger and a shake.

[Krissy]

Chicago is very excited to be hosting Patrick for a long weekend! How marvelous! My son and I are going to a train show on Sunday, but it's well out in the 'burbs (significantly west of the city proper) and it would be a big waste of time for you guys. I seven-thousand the Museum of Science and Industry. That is the right way up Patrick's alley.

Facts! Specifics! Crawl inside stuff and visualize it working! He can practice sighing ruefully when you fail to follow the physics involved! Patrictastic!

Have a wonderful, wonderful time. Hooray!

[erin]

Love the comic! I'm not just saying that, I'm a big fan of comics and I think Patrick's is pretty good. He got the eyes & mouth on poor Virginia just right.

Have an awesome time in Chicago! I've never been so I have no advice, but I dig Patrick's attitude about it. He's a cool kid.

And Edward and Caroline look adorable as usual. I can see how you gave in to cuddling in the race car bed.

[Heather]

I totally understand what you are saying about the babies--sometimes. It's a little mood-dependent. I'm not sure if other people are implying your okay-ness is due to Celexa, and I'm a personal supporter of big pharma, but nonetheless, I have no doubt (in certain moods) I would have been "okay" without my two test tube four year olds and my surprise too-much-to-handle two year old...but in other moods, like this week, I'm teary all the time about what-if-they-had-never-been, and its-national-daughter-week, and the baby complies by saying "I'm a daughter!" five times tonight, sleepily, as she goes to bed...I don't know. It would have been okay. But not at all the same. And definitely many nights I would have cried.

[a]

For convenience, you can visit the Field Museum of Natural History, the Adler Planetarium, and the Shedd Aquarium, because they're all within the same area. But Science and Industry is awesome. I also love the miniature rooms in the Art Institute - and the rooms with the weapons and armor throughout the ages...less about killing and more about art. The architectural tours are fun too (but maybe expensive). Definitely take a walk on the lakefront. Have a great time!

[LizNeust]

Oh hooray! You sound so happy and enthused, and it's really lovely to "hear" that in your writing. Enjoy your time in Chicago (never been, completely useless, sorry) both with and without Patrick.

[tuesy]

I have heard great things about the museum of science and industry and the aquarium.

When we went through the Wisconsin Dells a couple of years ago, we stopped and stayed a night at the Copacabana, based purely on its name and cheap awesomeness. When we checked in they gave us tickets to the most bizarre "science" museum ever. It is fascinatingly horrifying, shaped like a spaceship from what I can recall, and well worth the price of a free ticket, if you happen to get one.

[unexplained]

Don't know a fig about Chicago. But LOVE the kids' haircuts - everyone looked wonderful and like they had fresh cuts. Have a great time!

[Zannah]

Haven't read all the comments, but nerd that I am, I must suggest the Adler Planetarium, the Field Museum (Natural History) and the Oriental Something-or-Other Museum on Univ. of Chicago's campus. Has more Babylonian stuff than any Westen museum that I remember, except for the Louve. Also, I always dug the museum at the Moody Bible Institute.

For food: The Parthenon in Greektown. (314 S. Halsted, maybe)? Best saganaki ever, because who doesn't love flaming cheese and waiters yelling "opa!"? I suspect Patrick would also have an interesting time with the whole atmosphere - replica art, whole roasting pig, etc.

[S]

The Nature museum is great too! http://www.naturemuseum.org/

Barnum & Bailey is at the Allstate arena for 2 more days. http://www.ticketmaster.com/Allstate-Arena-tickets-Rosemont/venue/32958

Also the Chicago Children's Theater

http://www.chicagochildrenstheatre.org/

[Hetty Fauxvert]

"Goblin gold" -- oh, you slay me, kid! I laughed at that one until I thought, ya know, I better shut up or I'm going to wake up the spousal unit and *he* might not be so amused. But that was great.

Random thoughts: Is Caroline a closet vampire? I cannot believe her coloring. She is stunning. She will never need to buy a lipstick in her life.

Re Celexa: Um, I'd like to hear a whole lot more about this. My one brush with "happy" drugs was 30 mg/day of Valium that was given to me for another reason, for several weeks, and basically I was drunk as a skunk for all those weeks, night and day. I would read a book in the morning and not be able to recall the plot in the evening. It was horrible, but the most horrible thing about it was that I was sooooo impaired that I could not even realize I was impaired, and wake up enough to tell my doctor it was seriously NOT working for me. I shambled through my days. I was a prisoner in my own mind.

So I have been really scared ever since of pharmaceuticals that promise to change my thinking, even if it's theoretically for the better. Having "known" you via blog for some time now, I'd really like to hear details of how Celexa is working for you, and whether it feels like you are still basically yourself, only ... breezier? Or whatever. Anyway, this loyal readership would like details, please. :)

[MaryAnn]

"But I missed you Mommy"

How very sweet! It reminds me of a little girl (three years old or so) in the grocery store today.

She kept saying to her mom, "Best Friends Forever" and as she said forever, her voice raised a bit and was almost a whisper.

As she said this, she was reaching and tugging on her mom. :) She then would dance down the isle and come back and do it all again.

[Mandy]

Caroline's hair would be so pretty if you let it grow longer and grow out those bangs.

[Amy]

Your blog is always the first one I read when you have a new post. I love your writing and I think your children are adorable. If you're ever in Northern VA and need a sitter, my 2.5yo would have a blast with your twins.

Any way, I am so glad Celexa is working for you and that you like your new Someone. Both are so important. I'm glad to read that you are doing better.

[Carrie]

The Art Institute, the Museum of Science and Industry, the Field Museum, the Adler Planetarium, the Shedd Aquarium, and (sorry to say) the Sears Tower is now the "Willis Tower". Any cabbie will still take you there if you say "Sears" but I don't want you to be confused. The Bears vs. Vikings game is near just about all of the museums on museum campus so be prepared for lots of company downtown. Oh, I bet Patrick would get a kick out of the Water Tower (not the stores, the actual Water Tower itself). Basically you need to get yourselves to Michigan Avenue and spend two straight days walking. If you are feeling decadent, may I suggest the chocolate bar at the Peninsula? That might be more for you, but Happy Belated Birthday to you!

[Brooke]

Yeah, Navy Pier is not worth it. MSI probably is, but if you do that Monday, watch the time for going home since you will need to drive through the city. Do not go to the museum campus on game day. Not worth it.

You should go to Vosges. The are an amazing chocolate shop. There is a small one in Northbridge Mall on Michigan Ave and one in Lincoln Park at Sheffield and Armitage.

We will actually be in Chicago this weekend for a friend's birthday, but will not be doing as much of the fun stuff.

[MJ]

It's the Tribune Tower (on Michigan, just north of the bridge, on the east side) that has the pieces of other buildings embedded in it, like the Parthenon, Great Wall of China, Taj Mahal, etc. I always thought it was enchanting when I was a kid. Millennium Park is a must, and if Patrick has any interest in architecture I encourage you to walk over to the Frank Gehry concert pavilion not far from the Bean. Have a great time!

[S]

Shedd Aquarium and the Museum of Science and Industry. I took many field trips to the that museum and I still think it rocks.

[Olivia]

I like the Hancock tower for the views- you can see more of the city from there. Mity Nice Grill is a nice, kid-friendly restaurant in the Water Tower Place, right off Michigan. There's a Lego store in the Shops at North Bridge off Michigan as well.

I love Millenium Park, it's amazing and I think Patrick would love it. It's also right next to the Art Institute (in fact, there's a new bridge that goes from the park to the Modern Wing), so that would be a great half day right there. And Marshall Field's/Macy's is two blocks away, I always feel like Clark Griswold in there. It's super Christmas-y and fun.

[yvette]

@ Clarity

your celexa broke up with you?

[madelyn]

That comix!!

[Brigid Keely]

The Red Line and the Brown Line are both elevated. The Red Line also goes underground, while the Brown Line travels at street level the last few stops toward Kimble. I don't know if you remember that or not.

The Shedd Aquarium and the Chicago History Museum both have free days on Monday. If you're willing to spend another day, Tuesday is free for Shedd, the Field Museum, the Adler Planetarium, and the Museum of Contemporary Art.

[Amy S]

So, uh, if you're at the Wilderness late enough on Saturday and you notice a woman with an adorable 1 year old stalking you, it's just me. If I find you, I'll even step up my stalking enough to introduce myself as it just so happens that we'll be at the Wilderness this weekend, too. Be a dear and don't leave before we get there on Saturday, k?
Seriously, though - how late do you expect to be in the Dells tomorrow? I'd love to meet you. You've been my favorite blogger for years. :)

[Jenna]

My Patrick was born there...and I can say Legoland!!!! The Aquarium and Museums are awesome, too, but Legoland is pure fun!!

[lizardek]

The Hancock also has a great headphone tour for kids up on the skydeck, though it doesn't have the glass box to walk out on.

Also MSI is AMAZING these days, but it's a FULL day of a visit.

[Jennifer]

I just love the way Patrick's mind works. He is one seriously awesome kid. And the best part of his comic? The panel that said, "DING!" I loved it! (It was, however, just one of many wonderful things about it, like how well he drew the states, the expressions, etc...)

[reenie]

I LOVE the "Ding!" segment! The lightbulb, the hand, the expression...my, oh, my that Patrick has talent. To be able to express so much with a simple line drawing is harder than it looks.

I'm happy Celexa is working for you. I was just today switched from Celexa to Prozac in an effort to get my ass off the couch and back at the gym...or the playground...or the grocery store. For heaven's sake I was a tired lump of non-motivation on Celexa.

Your weekend plans sound like a lot of fun...and I agree - taking the eldest child can be more fun than alone. I've discovered I don't know quite how to just relax and focus on me when I have "free time"...might as well take my lovely boy with me. Have fun!

[Amanda P.]

If you are still reading, I also recommend the Hancock building over the Sears Tower (I don't care what the official name is!). The nice thing about the Hancock is that you can go to the restaurant/bar on the 2nd floor from the top for free (the bathrooms - at least the women's bathroom - have a wall of windows on the city. It's a little dizzying, but pretty cool), instead of paying to go to the skydeck.

I discovered my claustrophobia in U505 at the Museum of Science and Industry, but it's still my favorite museum ever! I do quadrillion the staying away from the south side museums on game day though.

[WAE]

Just saw a news report on HLN I thought would interest you. You must check out www.youparklikeanasshole.com. :-)

[amy]

Another Chicagoan chiming in...

Has Patrick read any of Blue Balliett's books? Former school teacher turned author, books are GREAT, and this one: http://www.scholastic.com/blueballiett/wright3.htm takes place at a Frank Lloyd Wright house (Robie) blocks away from the Musueum of Science and Industry. Might be fun to have him read the book on the way down, then combine a quick visit to the Robie House with a trip to the MSI!!

[Kristin]

Cleaning puke is never fun...glad it was only that once.

I've never been to Chicago so I don't have any suggestions. All I can say is have fun!

[Karen]

Surely you will take him to Oak Park to oggle all the Frank Lloyd Wright homes and take the FLW tour!

[Kristine (Mommy Needs Therapy)]

Your children are amazing! I don't think I would be OK if you didn't share them with us.

I too can't say no to my little one when he wants a snuggle. Since he sleeps with us when I come to bed he snuggles up spoon style with me, reaches his hand back to pat my face, and says "mama" and sighs contentedly. It is heaven.

The nice man in the parking lot? I teared up reading that. Seriously. Reading about people being nice to each other makes me emotional. Hormones are awesome.

And, I am very happy you are feeling better! Your writing is happier, if that makes sense.

[Brigid Keely]

Oh! also! There is a Lego store downtown http://stores.lego.com/en-us/Chicago/LandingPage.aspx and I believe there is a Sephora there as well. They have large Lego exhibits throughout the building.

[Allison]

The Field Museum is the absolute best one in Chicago. He might enjoy trying to draw the bean in Millenium park. And you might want to consider getting some caramel corn from Garrett's. But only if you like caramel corn. I don't, but my family loves it.

[amanda]

So THRILLED for you and Patrick.

His comic is genius. I adore that boy.

[Kacey]

Thank you for saying you would have been ok. We're in the thick of trying for a 2nd (well, my 2nd. My husband's first, biologically) and as much as I love my son I do not feel like I will be at all ok if he never has a sibling. Thank you for that little bit of hope.

[Audrey Whitton]

Sorry I couldn't be here in time to be helpful...I was in Wisconsin, but now you're in my town, and I hope you both have a great time. If there's any trouble, about 22,000 doctors will be at your service, at least?

And, yes, Caroline's expression in the bubbles picture was delicious.

[lacey]

I really, really love that Patrick has mastered that there are THREE dots in an ellipsis. Most adults haven't gotten that one. Patrick is brilliant in many ways, but this made me grin extra-hugely.

[Kelly]

I can't recall if Patrick is into dinosaurs at all, but the new-ish dinosaur exhibit at the Field Museum is amazing. We love the Field Museum at our house. Shedd Aquarium & the Planetarium are right there as well. The Museum of Science & Industry is so much fun - you guys are going to have a ball. ENJOY!

[Another Julia]

Oh, I just saw your post this morning (Monday), so I didn't have the chance to weigh in on your Chicago adventures. I hope you & Patrick had a fabulous time. Did you go to the Art Institute? Just for fun, check out the "Planning Your Family Visit" video here:

http://www.artic.edu/aic/visitor_info/podcasts/video/education_videos/index.html

That's me with my family! We are also sprinkled through the other videos on the site, but that one is my favorite, what with my husband carrying our baby like a football or something!

[Michelle]

Ha, my friends and I are going to Chicago for a girls weekend this weekend! This weekend is the lighting of the holiday lights on Michigan Avenue, I hear its fun though very crowded.

[M Kelley]

"State Comix" has just rendered me insensate with Joy.

Please accept this as the compliment I intend it to be when I confide that your son Patrick scares the hell out of me - he's that kind of genius. I'm putting him right next to Wallace Shawn on my personal list of people whose genius shocks and delights me, but who I'm unequipped to ever meet in person. Being his mom must be vaguely surreal at times. :)