Steve believes that the recent cavity in my molar is somehow related to the fact that I like to eat peppermint patties in bed but Steve also believes that Tuesday's prokaryotes became Wednesday's bunnies so clearly he buys into a lot of superstitious foklore. Whatever the reason (personally I think I was hexed by one of my many parking lot nemesii) the left side of my face is now numb and I spent an hour this morning trying to field questions without the use of my tongue or lips.
Did we travel for the holidays? Unhhhnnnuh uh uhn.
As I left the office my dentist cheerfully reminded me to keep flossing and it was all I could do not to roll my eyes at her. What - does she subscribe to Steve's newsletter? I suppose she also thinks that just the one heaping spoonful of sugar in my tea is plenty even though everyone knows that two is so much better.
It's like dealing with Druids.
The children are all in school today and it is so nice to have some time in the house without them. I cannot believe I once thought 9 to 2 was too long for Caroline and Edward to be away from me. HA! I just submitted my application for them to continue there next Fall and - although I hated to pass on the local preschool we liked so much with Patrick - I am giddy at the thought that they will go three days a week next year. Of course the three year old class presupposes that Edward will be paper trained by then but surely he will be. Right? RIGHT?
Currently he parries my every attempt to ease him toward the bathroom with: blank incomprehension, flat refusal, impeccable logic or devilish sophistry
1. Me: Edward, would you like to try to pee on the potty?
Edward: I have five carth.
2. Me: Edward, how about you go sit on the potty and we can read that book?
Edward: How bout no.
3. Me: Would you like to wear underpants with cars and trucks on them?
Edward: I can thee carth and tructh in my bookth.
4. Me (carrying a befouled Edward to be changed while he struggles): Enough! You need a new diaper! You have poop in your pants. Nobody likes that. It's uncomfortable and it smells.
Edward (gazing at me with his wide grey eyes): I thmell flowerth.
True story.
Also, whatever, Edward.
On the plus side Caroline did, indeed, toilet train herself just before their birthday. One day she dragged the little potty into the living room and used it. The next day she decided she preferred a potty seat in the bathroom and the day after that she asked for a foot stool and ditched the seat. I found her sitting on the toilet like an elf perched on the rim of a volcano. The proportions seem wildly off to me but it doesn't appear to bother her. At first she was a little reluctant to, um, fully commit to the new system but a package of Dora stickers got her over the initial hesitation and there it is. Two children down and I still don't have the slightest idea how any of it works. Patrick was ridiculously old and needed to be bribed. Caroline didn't didn't didn't and then she did. And Edward seems to be toying with me.
As far as I can tell it is all completely random and this is one of the many many reasons why I will never write a book on parenting. Potty training, sleep or lack thereof, eating... . I used to believe that children who were given healthy normal food (as opposed to, say, deep-fried cheese and ketchup soup) would eat healthy normal food. And to an extent I still believe this. If your morning choices are oatmeal Cheerios and yogurt I think you will probably eat oatmeal Cheerios or yogurt for breakfast. It's when you add Sugarsmacks into the equation that all hell breaks loose. I got Patrick a box of FrootLoops around Christmas; partly because he asked for them and partly because I love Frootloops (huh. it was almost as if I could hear my dentist muttering her voodoo nonsense in the wind.) Caroline had never had such junk in her life but she got one look at the box, narrowed her eyes at her oatmeal and said, "I want colored Cheerios. I WANT COLORED CHEERIOS!"
I let her have some. Mistakes were made.
Patrick has - has always had - self control. He will eat a bowl of FrootLoops, enjoy it and then possibly want another bowl in about six months. Caroline took three weeks to detox from her first taste of sugared cereal and will still interrupt conversations about the snow to moan, "More colored Cheerios. Mooooooooore. I want mooooooore."
It's very disturbing. So limiting her food choices to healthy options (not to mention keeping her away from nicotine, alcohol, caffeine, crystal meth, off-shore gambling, and Amazon Prime) makes sense. Where Patrick can be trusted to take the occasional treat in moderation Caroline is clearly one M&M away from mainlining pixie stix. Stixes.
So she usually only gets to choose between, say, brown rice and browner rice and as a result the little she takes in is fairly good for her. That said, she will not eat a green vegetable. Or most proteins. Or almost anything mixed together. I once read that you sometimes have to offer a new food to a child as many as twelve or fifteen times before it will be accepted. I think that's complete nonsense invented by people who lucked into a good eater that just didn't take to squid right away. Caroline has looked down a plate of broccoli/asparagus/spinach every day for the last year and a half and has never swallowed so much as a mouthful. I tried using dip as an enticement but she would simply put the broccoli in the dip, put both in her mouth and then she would delicately spit the broccoli onto the floor where we would have to bodily prevent Edward from going to retrieve it.
Edward loves vegetables. And fruit. Curry, tofu, lox, wheatberries, cod and blue cheese. He finished an entire bowl of exceedingly spicy salsa the other day and then licked the bowl afterward; Patrick will not eat anything upon which he can see visible black pepper. Caroline once rejected plain yogurt as "too hot." Same family, same nurture - different species.The only things Edward will not eat - oddly - are eggs and potatoes, putting himself firmly in Patrick's camp on these two items. How is it I have the only three children in the world who will not eat a frenched fry? It's so weird. And how anyone can dislike a nice egg...
Good grief where was I? Talking about how children develop at their own pace and are born with their own pre-dispositions and I think parents take a lot more credit/discredit for things than we should... but why?
Dunno. Moving on.
A little over a year ago a reader sent me a note telling me that she had a small business making interesting things for children and asking if she could send Patrick a cape. I said yes thank you and in due time a purple and silver cape arrived in the mail. Patrick loved it mightily. Later, another package arrived and inside were two littler capes - one blue/silver and the other maroon/gold.
They have kicked around the play room ever since and it is a constant source of pleasure (and amazement) to me how much fun they get out of the things, especially now that Caroline and Edward are starting to take a more intelligent interest in Patrick's madcappery*.
UltraPatrick, Menace Girl and MegaWheels, ready to fight crime
* the letters on the board were intended to represent a rainbow trapped in a time stream. Patrick kept exhorting the twinkles to "Defeat the powers of darkness! Free the spectrum!"
I keep meaning to talk about life on Celexa but I'll have to get back to that next time because I have been writing this piecemeal all day long and I have vowed to just finish the damned thing before Steve and I start our movie in five minutes.
Before I go, though, I'd like to ask your opinion on something headed: It's January, I must be worrying about school for next year for somebody. Caroline and Edward, next year, three days, nine to two, get to take swimming in preschool - check and check.
Patrick - hmmm.
Here's the dilemma. Patrick's current school is fine. Great, even. This year isn't the cotton candy tilt-a-whirl of freeform creative impulse that he floated through last year but I think that's a good thing. Patrick has a tendency to prefer to do things his own way all the time and I struggle with this; sometimes successfully, sometimes not.
Just tonight I pointed an indignant finger at his school planner and asked why the page that was supposed to keep track of this week's homework was covered with a sketch. Patrick peered over my shoulder and said, "But it isn't a vulgar sketch!" like his self-restraint should have been commended. Not amused.
A month ago though I found myself telling him that he is welcome to flout all sorts of conventions in life but it is necessary to do so in a way that indicates his originality is rooted in knowledge not ignorance. He blinked at me. Then five minutes later he returned and said, "Oh! I get it! You mean that I need to know how to do something before I can do it my own way!" Eureka.
Anyway his teacher is gently but firmly letting him know that he really cannot keep capitalizing letters at random and I think that is an excellent thing.
So the school is a good fit and would be fine for another two years. HOWEVER
(there is always an however)
it ends in fifth grade. He cannot continue in this district after that (for a lot of reasons.) And our home district continues elementary school through sixth grade and doesn't start middle school until seventh. Which means unless we come up with a different plan Patrick will show up at our local elementary for sixth grade only. The social ramifications are pretty big, I think, and he will have already completed the sixth grade curriculum by then so academically it kinda blows chunks as well.
The alternative is that our district offers a version of Patrick's current school (school within a school specifically for highly gifted kids who test into it) which starts in fourth grade and goes through sixth. The pros include the fact that it is about fifty percent closer to our house (which not only cuts my drive time but also means that any friends he makes might actually be able to come over without giant scheduling problems) and it feeds into the middle school where they cluster them. The con is that it would be Patrick's third elementary school without any of the others, like, burning down or something.
Any thoughts? Did I explain that well enough? Is it better to leave him where he is and deal with sixth grade when it arrives or move him proactively and hope the transplant goes as well as the last one?
Patrick made his first pair of pants, by the way, using a pattern and fabric he most totally picked out by himself. He wanted to know if you (he has the vague idea that I am friends with a couple hundred people who we never see but whose opinions we value) think they're snazzy.
PS He says to tell you there are pockets on the knees that are camouflaged. 'Camouflage' being the very word I was going to select to describe those pants. Just imagine trying to find him in Jimi Hendrix's house.
"Snazzy" is exactly the word I would use to describe those pants, yes. They may, in fact, be the snazziest pants I have ever seen!
Posted by: Sonja | January 11, 2011 at 08:38 PM
Patrick is nothing if not impressive. I couldn't even make a prairie skirt in 8th grade.
The pants rock the house. May want to consider moving pockets to outside thigh for easier access.
Posted by: Sarah | January 11, 2011 at 08:41 PM
Oh my, I do love Patrick. What a great kid. With snazzy pants.
Posted by: Erin | January 11, 2011 at 08:46 PM
Thank you. This unexpected post helped me postpone work for another 10 minutes. It was much appreciated.
Love the pants Patrick!
Posted by: Cris | January 11, 2011 at 08:50 PM
Those are some pants!
So, if he's back in your school district, and he will have completed the 6th grade curriculum, is there any way he could just go on to the middle school directly and skip that step? That seems like the easiest route to me.
We used M&Ms as bribes for potty training, but perhaps you could use more broccoli?
Posted by: a | January 11, 2011 at 08:51 PM
Patrick amazes me. Those pants are very snazzy indeed.
Regarding the school I would switch next year, an early switch would be better then grade 6 issues.
Posted by: Jackie | January 11, 2011 at 08:52 PM
Snazzy is just the word I would have picked. Awesome pants.
Posted by: Elsha | January 11, 2011 at 08:52 PM
The pants are awesome. Exceedingly awesome.
As for the school, I moved my son -- for various reasons -- in 1st, 3rd, 5th, 6th and 8th grade, and he is, at the moment, an extremely-contented-and-pleased-with-life-and-school 9th grader. I would move Patrick into the closer gifted school if possible, but I would not stress too much about whichever choice you have to make. As long as you're always working for the optimum school experience and as long as Patrick always knows that if he hates the experience he's in you'll try something different, it seems to work out. The very best thing I did was move my son from one mediocre school in 6th grade to another mediocre school because it gave him faith that change was possible. I'm glad I moved him again in 8th grade when I thought I'd found an improvement because the newest school is definitely much better, but I still think just the faith that we could keep trying new options kept him going through some potentially ugly years. I hope that makes sense.
Posted by: Wendy | January 11, 2011 at 08:55 PM
Love the pants! Please tell Patrick they're the snazziest pants around!
Re: Carolyn's eating habits, I ate the same meal of fruit loops for breakfast, ketchup on white bread and two pieces of salami for lunch and cheese quesadillas for dinner almost every day from age 3-7. I'm 5'10", 130 lbs and never had a cavity. Go figure.
Posted by: Catherine | January 11, 2011 at 08:57 PM
Yay a new post from Julia!
Patrick is in third grade this year? Is that right? I like changing to the in-district TAG school or the invisible third option: finishing at current school and then skipping sixth grade altogether. That is what came to me when I read your dilemma. Of course this option also is fraught with trouble.
Also, HA! to your Amazon prime joke. And I believe a cape or two may just be in order for my daughter and niece.
Posted by: davida | January 11, 2011 at 08:57 PM
BEfore I even start to read, I wanted to say that I saw there was a new post from you and grinned out loud. If there's something new from you and anyone else, I save yours till the last.
Posted by: Susan | January 11, 2011 at 08:58 PM
Wow...now THOSE are pants! And his socks match perfectly...not each other, of course. I mean, come on, he's PATRICK! But they match the pants. I am more than impressed. Can he come over and teach my 14 year old how to sew? Honestly, she wants to SOOOO bad! :)
Hugs to all..Nancy in CT
Posted by: Nancy in CT | January 11, 2011 at 09:00 PM
Spectacular pants! I adore them.
I vote for moving schools next year. Skipping sixth sounds intriguing, but would the social ramifications make that a bad call?
Posted by: Priscilla | January 11, 2011 at 09:01 PM
Oh my goodness, those are some *snazzy* pants. Nice work, Patrick! If he had an Etsy shop, my seven year old would mostly definitely buy a pair of those pants with his allowance.
Posted by: gabrielle | January 11, 2011 at 09:07 PM
They are fabulous, very snazzy. Reminiscent of Kandinsky and petrified wood, I love them. He is such a great boy.
Posted by: laura gf | January 11, 2011 at 09:08 PM
I'm not sure I completely understand. No matter what Patrick will be making a change? Either a new (but still in the same district) school, or back to his previous elementary? If I'm reading that right, won't either option mean a big change? The likelihood of him slipping back into his old class or set of peers without any sort of an adjustment seems unlikely. If you're rocking the boat, you might as well rock him right into a classroom where he'll be challenged.
I think that if Patrick has to repeat the same curriculum, you are setting yourself up for trouble. He'll be bored out of his damned mind, and wasn't that part of the reason you moved him outta there in the first place?
Seriously, your only con about putting him in a classroom that will be a) closer, b)curriculum appropriate, and c) a socially better choice, is that it seems weird to you that he's been to so many schools in such a short time? That's doesn't seem like much of a con to me.
Love the pants! So clever.
Posted by: Ashlee | January 11, 2011 at 09:11 PM
Well that was a long five minutes.
I think it took me longer than five minutes to read beyond your movie starting notification.
WOW, another rich post to read through. LOVE IT.
Dudey, strangest thing. I was at the dentists office having a cavity filled today too. First one ever for me. Numbness,so funky.
FUNNY about the kids and their capes and the make believe antics they create around them.
My kids have developed a repeating play with a cape and a blanket/both wrapped up in it. Title for the play? 'The slowly sliding AMOHBIA' (tried to spell it out like the say it). Who knew amoeba's were so giggly?
I have a degree in culinary arts. SO enjoyed reading through the palate preferences of your little set. People are so different. No two alike. There is a loose 'like it or leave it' policy at my kitchen table. Followed by the mantra that I'm no short order cook...well, that I won't be for preferential eaters.
Do you enjoy red wines?
I came across a delightful Italian blend recently.
'Cabanon Augurio'
Wondered what you'd think about it.
Any readers in the know?
LOVE the new pants. Talent in spades.
About the school, if it was me, I'd keep my kid there for the next 2 years and then move back at 6th grade.
At our last year of elementary school last year, my son made friends with 'the new kid' in class. They are besties now and are both enjoying middle school.
If you have connections with kids/families from your school zone/from years past, I would try to maintain play dates/social opportunities to help bridge the pending return.
I'm curious what other readers thoughts and ideas might be on the matter.
Posted by: rupiedupie | January 11, 2011 at 09:14 PM
I would move Patrick for 4th grade. I had the option of having my son start Kindergarten a year early and opted not to because my brother skipped a grade and hated his girlfriend having to drive them on dates when he was 15 and she was 16. Got to have your priorities straight, after all!
Posted by: Trisha | January 11, 2011 at 09:18 PM
Ohhh, ditto the "skip 6th grade" idea. That's what I thought you were leading up to as a choice.
(Does it go without saying that my previous comment is completely my own opinion based on what you've chosen to share about your son on the blog, and that I've neither met you nor can possibly know what's right for you in your situation? I hate sounding pompous.)
Posted by: Ashlee | January 11, 2011 at 09:19 PM
Great pants, Patrick! I'm 35 and although I have tried my hand at sewing I still don't think I could make a nice pair like that.
As someone with little kids still in preschool/daycare (so, for what it's worth) I would go for the proactive school change. I agree that it's better to make the change well ahead of the rougher times that come with 6th grade. I think it would also improve your and Patrick's quality of life to shorten the drive and to have him closer to school friends. In addition, the friendships he starts cementing at the new school could carry him through junior high and high school as well. You might as well start investing in time with the people you know he's going to be interacting with as he gets older.
Posted by: Laurel | January 11, 2011 at 09:22 PM
Snazztastic, Patrick!
Posted by: Natalie | January 11, 2011 at 09:29 PM
I'd probably try switching Patrick now. 4th grade is an easier time to make friends than 6th (although my son made several new friends just fine going into 6th (half his elementary school fed into the middle school and most of his friends were in the other half)). If it really doesn't work, is coming back to his current school an option?
Tell Patrick that yes, those are very snazzy pants! I love them and even better that he made them.
Posted by: Owlfan | January 11, 2011 at 09:35 PM
Awesome pants!!
I am with A, I would leave Patrick where he is and lobby (starting early) to have him go from 5th straight to 7th grade at the new middle school. My daughter, also highly gifted, had a lot of school moves for similar reasons, and it was quite hard for her. Gifties can be quite unique and finding close friends can take a while and when they find them they don't won't to lose the, Also, having a teacher/school that 'gets' your kid -so worth it.
My daughter went from 3rd to 5th grade without problems and is now in grade 11 and you cannot tell she is a different age from her peers. We did end up going to a very academic private school that also has a LOT of activities and she has been highly involved and happy there. Sadly we moved countries and therefore schools this year, and she went into the local US public school, not so great, but that is a whole other story.
Anyway - acceleration can be a great option.
Posted by: Sonya | January 11, 2011 at 09:36 PM
Best pants ever!!! Love them!!!!
Posted by: Nancy | January 11, 2011 at 09:43 PM
I know it's wrong to have a favorite - even among children of the Internet, but still... Patrick is my favorite. (Although that Edward is so darn pretty. And Caroline has such spirit. Hmm.)
The pants, they are snazzy. So impressed he made them - made a pair of pants in sewing class in 7th grade. They had seashells on them. I was ridiculously proud. In my defense, a) it was 1989 and b) I was a nerd.
I vote for switching him now so he'll have a chance to make friends. 6th grade can be tougher to make friends than in 4th. You probably want him to have an established group of friends before middle school. Skipping a grade sounds OK academically, but how would he do socially? He can always take advanced classes, right? So might be better to keep him with kids his own age.
Posted by: erin | January 11, 2011 at 09:44 PM
I actually did a real life spit-take upon reading Amazon Prime mentioned in your high-risk activity list.
I vote for making Patrick's switch next year, and save him the angst of future middle-school aged drama. Which is essentially impossible by definition. But you can at least minimize it.
Posted by: Pam | January 11, 2011 at 09:44 PM
moved my son (now 15), let's see, eleventy times?
he is ok, has friends of all ages, good personality.
still, wish it had been more like three times (but hey,
some of that was living abroad, and learning a new language).
all that to say: can't you just APPLY to the closer, more convenient school, and then later, when he gets in, see how you(plural) feel about it?
sit in for a day, even?
taking the steps in order might make things clearer at the end?
affectionately,
"liza"
Posted by: liza | January 11, 2011 at 09:48 PM
Hmmm...
All I can say is, those pants are IMPRESSIVE. Cool, Patrick!
Also - capes rock, my son has one and quite often wears it to bed with nothing but underwear (so that he can be Captain Underpants in his dreams).
Caroline, sweet Caroline... I hear you on the sugar thing. Certain things just cannot come into my house, and that's that.
Also - I DO floss, and still get yelled at about flossing, so have decided WHY BOTHER???
School... I have no earthly idea. Such tough decisions! I'm sure Patrick will handle things with aplomb, though. :)
Posted by: H | January 11, 2011 at 10:03 PM
any clue as to what the other parents are planning on doing? and any chance that the school he is in may add grades as the demands increase? iknow that is what happened to a gifted school here. it started out just being a school of k - 4th, then they added a 5th, then 6th and now gos thru 8th. if there is demand for it than it could happen.
Posted by: kris (lower case) | January 11, 2011 at 10:03 PM
Best pants ever. Not much good on school stuff, but your Caroline make me laugh. A lot.
Posted by: Sheridan | January 11, 2011 at 10:06 PM
If he is doing the 6th grade curriculum in 5th grade, and if you and his teachers think he could handle it maturity-wise, what about skipping 6th altogether? I skipped 4th under similar circumstances.
Posted by: Chaya | January 11, 2011 at 10:44 PM
I freaking LOVE your children. Patrick's pants totally rock and, I think I would consider moving him proactively.
Posted by: Kristin | January 11, 2011 at 10:45 PM
Huzzah Patrick!! I think those are the most fantastic pants I have ever seen! Patrick you should know, that I am 39 and I still can't sew, so at 8 you are one up on me!
Julia, I simply adore the creativity that you have fostered in Patrick. It's just awesome!
Sorry, I have no advice about the school dilemma.
Posted by: Heather | January 11, 2011 at 11:03 PM
crazy cool pants love love love them!
and, my son (who is almost 18) still dislikes most potatoes. french fries are now ok, and non-lumpy mashed potatoes are sometimes ok. that's it.
and green veggies? not a freakin' chance. i have hopes for his 20s.
Posted by: Beth | January 11, 2011 at 11:05 PM
Those panty are not only snazzy, but very impressive! Patrick never ceases to impress me. I am assuming he has a sewing machine now? Was he delighted?
I think you should move Patrick now. Kids never look back at this age the move to a new school really won't be more than a blip on his radar down the road. My father moved us all over the country every year or two when I was growing up and it... just didn't make a difference.
I would hesitate to have him skip sixth grade even if he is academically able because gifted kids can be quirky enough without making them play social catch-up with their classmates. Dno't get me wrong, I'm sure Patrick would do just fine; but when he gets to high school, that year will really tell and you don't want him to become... I dunno. I can't think of the words. Anyway, if he can be academically chalenged and stay with his own age group, that would be the best thing.
I know moving to yet another school seems like a bad idea; but IMHO, putting him closer to home so he can actually have *more* of a social life seems to far outstrip the downside of changing schools again.
Posted by: Betsy | January 11, 2011 at 11:10 PM
Panty? Did I type panty???? I swear I remember typing the word PANTS which is what I meant! Clearly I have no idea if Patrick's panties are snazzy.
I am mortified.
Posted by: Betsy | January 11, 2011 at 11:12 PM
The pants most definitely are snazzy. Furthermore, my son just returned from snowboarding and he says he saw spandex ski suits quite similar in appearance to that fabric.
Posted by: owlhaven | January 11, 2011 at 11:13 PM
They've got spiff and snazz and you can tell him that he already sews better than, I, a 32 year old does.
I am rather an unfortunate expert at moving/changing schools during childhood. My resume of suck is that I changed schools:
-moved from CA to TX the week before K started
-changed schools between 2nd and 3rd
-changed schools between 3rd and 4th
-moved from TX to WY during 4th
-moved from WY to MO in between 5th and 6th
-moved to IN during 6th
-moved from IN to CA in between 8th and 9th
-moved from CA to NE in between 9th and 10th
And my parents moved to KS during my senior year of I school I and stayed behind in NE to finish. I went to college in CA in fall of '96 and I have moved more than 2 miles from the college since then. I wonder why?
But I digress. I was also one of those rather quirky gifted kids - who hated all things potato as well (I love them now - mmmm carbs).
My advice would be a couple of things:
-It definitely gets harder socially the older the child gets and moving into a school for the last year of that school (i.e., for 6th) is especially hard. I moved in between 8th and 9th from a middle school situation where everyone was going to high school the next year to a jr. high where 9th grade was still at the jr. high and not the high school. It was the worst year of my childhood. One thing that was quite clear is that because the jr. high school knew I was only going to be there for the one year and then move on to high school they did not make any effort to help challenge me academically. It wasn't "worth" their effort.
-Involve Patrick in the decision process. I know he is young and if he is anything like I was, averse to transition, but it was better the few times my parents involved me in the process.
And agree with you completely on the food thing - they clearly are born with their own palates. My first (4 years) treats black pepper like the black death and asks in a horrified voice if he sees a speck, "Is that spice?!" as if "spice" is a bad thing? And my second (22 months) will eat damn near anything - and if it has fallen on the floor it is only that much more delicious.
Feel free to email me on the moving schools issue if you want any more advice and good luck.
Posted by: Gina | January 11, 2011 at 11:23 PM
Excellent pants!
And I have the other kid who won't eat frenched fries (nor potato in any form--she recently ate duck with gnocchi at some fancy restaurant except she quickly figured out the 'round pasta' wasn't really pasta so she only at the duck. Weird. I try to take credit for her mostly good eating but agree with you--it's luck of the draw)
Posted by: Melissa H | January 11, 2011 at 11:24 PM
Okay, first of all... Patrick has to teach me how to make pants.... second of all... I know where to buy chasity belts and restraints for Caroline when she discovers boys.
And lastly... find something edward wants really bad. Something he would covet for all eternity like his parking lot. Let him see it.. let him want it and then tell him this... Edward, I want to buy you this "autopalooza" but I have to buy your diapers instead. When you use the potty and stop using diapers I will buy it for you.... My daughter was using the potty THE SAME DAY for that darn big ass tigger.
Oh and for gods sake HIDE THE LEFTOVER DIAPERS! If there are any around he will just want to use them again once he has the item.
Posted by: Sara | January 11, 2011 at 11:28 PM
Great Pants! Kind of like rainbows trapped in a time stream! Or color contour plots! Snazziness to the googol power! Love you, Patrick!
Re: the school issue. Let me preface it by saying that a) I don't have kids in elementary school yet; and b) I cannot extrapolate from personal experience because I did not go to grade school or high school in the US.
That having been said, I think it's a real pity you can't give schools a "test drive" before committing. As in, sit in classes for a few days, to see how you fit in. Because TAG programs are not the same everywhere. And even if they were -- even if they had the exact same curriculum -- they would still be pretty different, because like most (all?) great things, a good educational environment cannot be reproduced formulaically -- it's the intangibles that make the most difference. In this case, either the teacher knows how to deal with gifted minds of Patrick's variety (aka the truly gifted minds) or he doesn't. Either HE is gifted or he isn't.
The way I see it is this: There are likely several thousand TAG programs around the country. By numbers/statistics alone, you know that the kids in them cannot all be truly gifted. (Being better than most of the other children in your district hardly meets the definition of a genius.) Many parents coach their kids and hire intensive tutors and do practice tests etc etc to get that "gifted" label for their kid. That's fine -- these are all smart kids, and they usually do fine in life. But the *truly* gifted kids, the ones that tick on their own, the ones that will one day make the world go around are few and far apart. And I think you probably have one of those in your hands.
The problem is that the kids that have been coached into the "gifted" system can do fine pretty much anywhere. (They have been coached, after all: They have been taught to understand what is expected of them, and how to *perform*.) But when your giftedness isn't the taught kind -- when it stems from creativity and not from obedience or discipline, it's much harder for you to fit in; much easier to get lost, or worse yet, squashed. Even within the TAG system.
It takes a very special kind of teacher to know how to deal with true giftedness. And if Patrick has that now, then you're truly lucky. When it comes to education I guess I'm a cynic, because it's very hard for me to believe you can happen upon something really good twice in a row. I'd be afraid to mess with something good in this case...
The question remains, of course, of what to do in a couple of years. From what you said, I am assuming that Patrick cannot test into the local TAG program just for 6th grade, right? (Otherwise it would not make sense that Patrick would already have done the sixth grade curriculum: I am guessing you are comparing his current (TAG) curriculum with the standard local curriculum. If not, the local TAG may not be one you would want Patrick in!)
But are there other options? Could you supplement his sixth grade curriculum with some homeschooling or internet instruction for gifted kids? Or maybe some teachers at the local school would be willing to work on a modified curriculum? (My understanding is that this used to be very common before the advent of organized TAG programs.) Maybe you could talk to the people at the local school to see what options there are? Also, if you talk to his current teachers -- the ones that seem to really "get" Patrick -- they might have some useful suggestions. And are there any other schools in the vicinity? Maybe a really good private school? I know the economy is such that private school tuition is enough to cause you a heart attack (or a seizure, depending on the school of drama you subscribe to,) but sometimes these places have merit-based scholarships. Just something to consider...
ok, I'll end my profound diatribe here. I get carried away when I talk about education (I am the same katherine who instigated a comment war in one of your deleted posts from a few years ago) so I apologize...
Posted by: katherine | January 11, 2011 at 11:30 PM
I definitely definitely side with the "don't mess up something good" people. He's happy where he is and that's SO WONDERFUL, and his former experiences have been so not-wonderful! Nooooo, don't move him early! I tend to think about things on a worst-case-scenario-comparison basis. So, leaving him where he is, worst case scenario: 6th grade is awful. Moving him early, worst case scenario: the next several years are awful and/or involve more moves. Ack! I would always go with a known good thing for as long as possible before switching to an unknown.
And of course the skipping-sixth-grade-entirely option is interesting if it's possible... it comes with its own can of worms, though, of course.
I'm sorry if any part of that is overstepping blogreader boundaries. Whenever I type something like that to someone, I think, DUDE, WHO ASKED ME, and then I remember that you asked for opinions, so I leave it but feel kind of residually guilty and presumptuous.
Also please add another point to the SUCH SNAZZY PANTS, JEALOUS OF THE PANTS tally.
Posted by: Lacey | January 11, 2011 at 11:52 PM
mine won't eat fries either. messed up.
Posted by: sarah | January 11, 2011 at 11:56 PM
I assume Patrick is a Jonathan Coulton fan? Those are definitely Fancy Pants. He can lead the Fancy Pants parade.
http://www.jonathancoulton.com/store/downloads/
Posted by: beth | January 12, 2011 at 12:26 AM
You're holding Caroline, Miss Must-Do-Everything-with DramaandFlair to standards of restraint set by Patrick, Mr. I-only-need-one-gift-for-Christmas? Really? Poor, poor Miss D&F. She never stood a chance against the colored cheerios.
As for Patrick's schooling - keeping him challenged is paramount. Repeating curriculum would be deadly. However, the social thing could be a huge issue as well. I just think it's secondary. If he's chellenged academically, I think he'll be able to shake the other stuff off, but if he diengages from school, well, ain't nobody going to be happy at Chez Julia.
All of that being said, on the face of it - switch him at 4th grade, and let the new TAG absorb his achievements and needs over the next few years. FWIW.
Posted by: Kim | January 12, 2011 at 12:53 AM
Those pants look beautifully made! I am impressed!
Posted by: sewkate | January 12, 2011 at 12:54 AM
Those are the most rockin' pants I have ever seen and I seriously kind of would like some for myself, although I tend to be more of a classic dresser.
Posted by: Lara | January 12, 2011 at 01:39 AM
Love the pants, awesome job Patrick!
If you're going to have to change schools again anyway, do it now while he's younger. From experience with my daughter, they adjust better younger.
I've read the same thing so many times about to keep putting the strange/new/healthy food on their plate, and after several attempts, they will eventually accept it and eat it and love it. Yeah, right. My boy is 3, does not eat a single vegetable except corn occasionally, and I've wasted enough healthy food putting them on his plate waiting for him to learn to like them, I could have completely nourished another (healthy) child. Thank you, I feel better knowing mine's not the only one.
BTW, I love love love sugar too. You have to get out of bed and brush after the peppermint patties though, sorry.
Posted by: michelmom | January 12, 2011 at 01:44 AM
I would move him now to the 4th through 6th grade program--esp if the program STARTS in 4th grade, they will all be new kids, even if some know each other from previous schools. Going to the local school for 1 year wouldn't be fun, and skipping 6th grade seems like a bad idea, socially. Better to go to a 6th grade designed for smarties.
(For what it's worth, I went to 3 elementary schools, and the last of the 3 was a gifted magnet school which I attended from 4th to 6th grade....so I am probably biased. I also skipped kindergarten and hated being the youngest in my class...I suspect it would be even worse to be the youngest as the result of skipping a higher grade, where you hadn't had years to get used to it.)
Posted by: giddy | January 12, 2011 at 07:40 AM
He made those?!?!? They are SERIOUSLY awesome pants! Well done, Patrick!
Regarding the eating: I totally agree it is something that just comes with them. I have triplets and they are totally different eaters. One extremely picky, one who will try anything and likes almost everything, and one in the middle. The picky one has started creating a list of foods she would like to try "someday." Really adventurous things like applesauce. But whenever I ask her if she would like to try something on the list the answer is always "I don't think I'm ready yet." Sigh.
Posted by: Christine | January 12, 2011 at 08:00 AM