Imminently Eminent

Steve believes that the recent cavity in my molar is somehow related to the fact that I like to eat peppermint patties in bed but Steve also believes that Tuesday's prokaryotes became Wednesday's bunnies so clearly he buys into a lot of superstitious foklore. Whatever the reason (personally I think I was hexed by one of my many parking lot nemesii) the left side of my face is now numb and I spent an hour this morning trying to field questions without the use of my tongue or lips.

Did we travel for the holidays? Unhhhnnnuh uh uhn.

As I left the office my dentist cheerfully reminded me to keep flossing and it was all I could do not to roll my eyes at her. What - does she subscribe to Steve's newsletter? I suppose she also thinks that just the one heaping spoonful of sugar in my tea is plenty even though everyone knows that two is so much better.

It's like dealing with Druids.

The children are all in school today and it is so nice to have some time in the house without them. I cannot believe I once thought 9 to 2 was too long for Caroline and Edward to be away from me. HA! I just submitted my application for them to continue there next Fall and - although I hated to pass on the local preschool we liked so much with Patrick - I am giddy at the thought that they will go three days a week next year. Of course the three year old class presupposes that Edward will be paper trained by then but surely he will be. Right? RIGHT?

Currently he parries my every attempt to ease him toward the bathroom with: blank incomprehension, flat refusal, impeccable logic or devilish sophistry

1.     Me: Edward, would you like to try to pee on the potty?

        Edward: I have five carth.

2.     Me: Edward, how about you go sit on the potty and we can read that book?

        Edward: How bout no.

3.     Me: Would you like to wear underpants with cars and trucks on them?

        Edward: I can thee carth and tructh in my bookth.

4.     Me (carrying a befouled Edward to be changed while he struggles): Enough! You need a new diaper! You have poop in your pants. Nobody likes that. It's uncomfortable and it smells.

        Edward (gazing at me with his wide grey eyes): I thmell flowerth.

True story.

Also, whatever, Edward.

On the plus side Caroline did, indeed, toilet train herself just before their birthday. One day she dragged the little potty into the living room and used it. The next day she decided she preferred a potty seat in the bathroom and the day after that she asked for a foot stool and ditched the seat. I found her sitting on the toilet like an elf perched on the rim of a volcano. The proportions seem wildly off to me but it doesn't appear to bother her. At first she was a little reluctant to, um, fully commit to the new system but a package of Dora stickers got her over the initial hesitation and there it is. Two children down and I still don't have the slightest idea how any of it works. Patrick was ridiculously old and needed to be bribed. Caroline didn't didn't didn't and then she did. And Edward seems to be toying with me.

As far as I can tell it is all completely random and this is one of the many many reasons why I will never write a book on parenting.  Potty training, sleep or lack thereof, eating... . I used to believe that children who were given healthy normal food (as opposed to, say, deep-fried cheese and ketchup soup) would eat healthy normal food. And to an extent I still believe this. If your morning choices are oatmeal Cheerios and yogurt I think you will probably eat oatmeal Cheerios or yogurt for breakfast. It's when you add Sugarsmacks into the equation that all hell breaks loose. I got Patrick a box of FrootLoops around Christmas; partly because he asked for them and partly because I love Frootloops (huh. it was almost as if I could hear my dentist muttering her voodoo nonsense in the wind.) Caroline had never had such junk in her life but she got one look at the box, narrowed her eyes at her oatmeal and said, "I want colored Cheerios. I WANT COLORED CHEERIOS!"

I let her have some. Mistakes were made.

Patrick has - has always had - self control. He will eat a bowl of FrootLoops, enjoy it and then possibly want another bowl in about six months. Caroline took three weeks to detox from her first taste of sugared cereal and will still interrupt conversations about the snow to moan, "More colored Cheerios. Mooooooooore. I want mooooooore."

It's very disturbing. So limiting her food choices to healthy options (not to mention keeping her away from nicotine, alcohol, caffeine, crystal meth, off-shore gambling, and Amazon Prime) makes sense. Where Patrick can be trusted to take the occasional treat in moderation Caroline is clearly one M&M away from mainlining pixie stix. Stixes.

So she usually only gets to choose between, say, brown rice and browner rice and as a result the little she takes in is fairly good for her. That said, she will not eat a green vegetable. Or most proteins. Or almost anything mixed together. I once read that you sometimes have to offer a new food to a child as many as twelve or fifteen times before it will be accepted. I think that's complete nonsense invented by people who lucked into a good eater that just didn't take to squid right away. Caroline has looked down a plate of broccoli/asparagus/spinach every day for the last year and a half and has never swallowed so much as a mouthful. I tried using dip as an enticement but she would simply put the broccoli in the dip, put both in her mouth and then she would delicately spit the broccoli onto the floor where we would have to bodily prevent Edward from going to retrieve it. 

Edward loves vegetables. And fruit. Curry, tofu, lox, wheatberries, cod and blue cheese. He finished an entire bowl of exceedingly spicy salsa the other day and then licked the bowl afterward; Patrick will not eat anything upon which he can see visible black pepper. Caroline once rejected plain yogurt as "too hot." Same family, same nurture - different species.The only things Edward will not eat - oddly - are eggs and potatoes, putting himself firmly in Patrick's camp on these two items. How is it I have the only three children in the world who will not eat a frenched fry? It's so weird. And how anyone can dislike a nice egg... 

Good grief where was I? Talking about how children develop at their own pace and are born with their own pre-dispositions and I think parents take a lot more credit/discredit for things than we should... but why?        

Dunno. Moving on.

A little over a year ago a reader sent me a note telling me that she had a small business making interesting things for children and asking if she could send Patrick a cape. I said yes thank you and in due time a purple and silver cape arrived in the mail. Patrick loved it mightily. Later, another package arrived and inside were two littler capes - one blue/silver and the other maroon/gold.

They have kicked around the play room ever since and it is a constant source of pleasure (and amazement) to me how much fun they get out of the things, especially now that Caroline and Edward are starting to take a more intelligent interest in Patrick's madcappery*.  

UltraPatrick, Menace Girl and MegaWheels, ready to fight crime

* the letters on the board were intended to represent a rainbow trapped in a time stream. Patrick kept exhorting the twinkles to "Defeat the powers of darkness! Free the spectrum!"

I keep meaning to talk about life on Celexa but I'll have to get back to that next time because I have been writing this piecemeal all day long and I have vowed to just finish the damned thing before Steve and I start our movie in five minutes.

Before I go, though, I'd like to ask your opinion on something headed: It's January, I must be worrying about school for next year for somebody. Caroline and Edward, next year, three days, nine to two, get to take swimming in preschool - check and check.

Patrick - hmmm.

Here's the dilemma. Patrick's current school is fine. Great, even. This year isn't the cotton candy tilt-a-whirl of freeform creative impulse that he floated through last year but I think that's a good thing. Patrick has a tendency to prefer to do things his own way all the time and I struggle with this; sometimes successfully, sometimes not.

Just tonight I pointed an indignant finger at his school planner and asked why the page that was supposed to keep track of this week's homework was covered with a sketch. Patrick peered over my shoulder and said, "But it isn't a vulgar sketch!" like his self-restraint should have been commended. Not amused.

A month ago though I found myself telling him that he is welcome to flout all sorts of conventions in life but it is necessary to do so in a way that indicates his originality is rooted in knowledge not ignorance. He blinked at me. Then five minutes later he returned and said, "Oh! I get it! You mean that I need to know how to do something before I can do it my own way!" Eureka.

Anyway his teacher is gently but firmly letting him know that he really cannot keep capitalizing letters at random and I think that is an excellent thing.

So the school is a good fit and would be fine for another two years. HOWEVER

(there is always an however)

it ends in fifth grade. He cannot continue in this district after that (for a lot of reasons.) And our home district continues elementary school through sixth grade and doesn't start middle school until seventh. Which means unless we come up with a different plan Patrick will show up at our local elementary for sixth grade only. The social ramifications are pretty big, I think, and he will have already completed the sixth grade curriculum by then so academically it kinda blows chunks as well.

The alternative is that our district offers a version of Patrick's current school (school within a school specifically for highly gifted kids who test into it) which starts in fourth grade and goes through sixth. The pros include the fact that it is about fifty percent closer to our house (which not only cuts my drive time but also means that any friends he makes might actually be able to come over without giant scheduling problems) and it feeds into the middle school where they cluster them. The con is that it would be Patrick's third elementary school without any of the others, like, burning down or something.

Any thoughts? Did I explain that well enough? Is it better to leave him where he is and deal with sixth grade when it arrives or move him proactively and hope the transplant goes as well as the last one?

Patrick made his first pair of pants, by the way, using a pattern and fabric he most totally picked out by himself. He wanted to know if you (he has the vague idea that I am friends with a couple hundred people who we never see but whose opinions we value) think they're snazzy.

PS He says to tell you there are pockets on the knees that are camouflaged. 'Camouflage' being the very word I was going to select to describe those pants. Just imagine trying to find him in Jimi Hendrix's house.

Comments

[Sara]

Snazztastic pants. Rock on Patrick.

My daughter won't touch a potato or an egg either. Or any other food, as far as I can tell. I think she photosynthesizes.

I'm still detoxing from the Froot Loops that I sampled in 1974. In fact, I started salivating when I saw the words. I feel Caroline's pain.

As for school, I think you should either switch him in fourth grade or have him skip 6th, but don't make his sixth grade a living hell. Just don't. I went through several of those scenarios myself, and my experience was this--moving to a new school in fourth grade (because my family moved abroad) was fine. No problem at all. Fun even. I missed my old friends, but made new ones and had a great time. Then we moved back to the US, and I ended up going to sixth grade with a bunch of kids that I didn't know (even my former elementary school didn't feed into that middle school). It was a nightmare. At that age, kids are just starting to be very insecure and judgmental, and being the new kid is SO hard, especially if the academic curriculum is also Dullsville. I also skipped a grade (8th), and that was awkward, but not too bad. It was in some ways equivalent to Patrick skipping 6th, because my school system had a middle school (6-8) and a high school (9-12), so I skipped the last year of one school and started the next school with a group of kids that were new to each other as well, so we were all on the same page. There was a bit of stigma associated with skipping a grade that late (as opposed to e.g., kindergarten or first grade), because everybody knew about it, and I was thus labeled as a "brain" from the get-go, but somehow I doubt that would exactly be a surprise for Patrick. The one major issue to consider when deciding whether Patrick should skip a grade is maturity. In 6-8th grade at most public schools, <50% of the school experience is about academics. The rest is all a social game, and kids start to get really mean around that age. So, if Patrick is going to have a hard time socially (and by that, I don't necessarily mean if he isn't going to be prom king, but rather if you think he will be sensitive to other people's opinions of him--which he doesn't seem to be right now-- or if he seems likely to be a target of bullying) then you might want to try to avoid putting him in a situation where he'll be surrounded by older kids.

Good luck Julia. This school choice stuff is hard. Just yesterday, I found myself thinking wistfully what a shame it is that my daughter can't stay in her (awesome) preschool through high school.

[Christine]

I totally agree with you. Mostly about parents taking credit for things that are just random lucks/unlucks of nature, especially when it comes to eating; but also about everything else as well. We have one of those capes, btw, procured after you blogged about them the first time.

[Erin]

I started a new school in both 5th and 6th grade and it kind of sucked both times, because I got thrown in with kids who had been together for years. I eventually adjusted, but I'd argue in favour of moving him sooner rather than later, so he can have the same classmates from 4-6.

Those pants are outstanding.

[Stephanie]

Love the pants!

I wouldn't wait until 6th grade to move him. I was the new kid in 6th grade when we moved from one CA town to another. In the first town, my school went from K-6, and the school I moved to was K-5 and then 6-8. Ugh! So not only was I new in town, but I had to be at the bottom of the totem pole grade-wise in a brand new school. I was picked on, bullied, and it was seriously one of the worst years ever. In my experience, 6th graders are mean! I'm scared I'm going to have to send my son to boarding school for 6th grade, just so I don't have to live with a 6th grader (clearly, I was traumatized!)

So yeah, I'd move him to a different school earlier, or see about skipping 6th grade all together.

[Andrea]

Very snazzy pants indeed..but don't wear them with a turtleneck..that would be a little too swinging sixties. :)

As for the schools, I think the most important thing is to ask Patrick what he thinks. As a formerly gifted child who was also the youngest in class and a social outcast until college (where all the stuff that made me weird before suddenly made me cool) the worst part of all of it was the feeling of powerlessness. While my parents were concerned, they talked to the teachers not me (not wanting to undermine the teacher) and the teachers never explained anything. I was constantly bewildered about everything. Since the reasons your debating both invovle Patrick's feelings, he should be the major decision maker.

Also, have you thought about homeschooling him for 6th grade?

[Krissy Poopyhands]

J'adore the pants. Please tell Patrick he did a wonderful job and they are super-snazzy. Before long he will be designing entire wardrobes in which to wow and amaze his friends and family. I am already amazed!

Patrick is precocious with academics. While he does need to be mentally challenged instead of bored to death, his area of real need appears to be folding that incredible brain into an increasingly complex social world. The notion that a kid who is so advanced intelligently will do just fine because they will know they can rely on their mad knowledge skilz is a fallacy. There is plenty of evidence to suggest that uber-intelligent children are often unhappy through teen years and later because they have a different and limited peer interaction pool available.

I think your instincts were right that Patrick needed to change from his former school, and I think that the fact that your brain is chewing this now is great mama instinct that says that a red flag has gone up and you are envisioning the socially heavyweight years of Jr. High being a problem.

I agree that you either move him in 4th grade (optimal, in my opinion), or you have him skip sixth (less optimal because visibly younger males tend to be targets of older boys). The Kiss of Death is likely to be moving him to X school for sixth grade only.

This has personal implications for me, because I moved halfway through sixth grade due to a divorce and the fact that my parents could not *lots of swearing* settle in one area for more than a year at a time, and it was pretty much a living hell every day of my life. So, take that into consideration. I did that. At that age and grade. It was NOT SO GOOD, AKSHUALLY. And I am bright, but not a genius. It took me about 3 years to stop automatically hunching in fear while I was at a school.

There is my scenario, which falls under "living hell" and the Rainbow Pony scenario in which Patrick goes to 6th grade only and meets his soul mate/bff forever and they protect and support one another through the Jr. High social quagmire. The reality is likely to be somewhere in between.

If Patrick's strengths were social precociousness and the ability to fold into a crowd while leading, I would say, "meh" and suggest you leave him where he is most academically secure. Instead, Patrick's strengths are being individualistic and an out-of-the-box thinker. All of his strengths are fabulous, and you are going to have to have an approach to preserve these strengths even as he enters a social phase that has a tendency to specifically punish and target kids with those particular attributes.

In summary: Nothing is a foregone conclusion, but in order of best outcome I recommend A) moving Patrick in 4th grade, B) skipping sixth, C-F) moving him for sixth grade only if there is NO other option.

Patrick’s value placement for social inclusion is likely to undergo a radical change at some point in the next 2 to 3 years. I recommend setting the scene for success as well as you are able, in as far advance as you can manage.

[The Yak]

I saw the small version of the pants photo and thought, huh, nice paisley or whatever... then zoomed in and WOW MAN ACID FLASHBACK THE COLORS THE COLORS... (for the record I only took acid once and it wasn't nearly as much fun as looking at Patrick and his pants just now). As for school, it sounds like there are transitions in his future no matter what -- the questions are when and how many. I say get that kid into a gifted program ASAP. Five or ten years from now the quality of his education (and socialization) will matter a lot more than how many different schools he went to, right? Having given you this sage advice, please reserve for me one seat for the Nobel Prize award ceremony of 2055 or thereabouts.

[Luise]

Bless you! For a blog that never fails to amuse or enchant me and for the fabulous idea of capes as gifts! (I have no kids and a generally deficient imagination.) My great-niece and -nephew will be three in a few weeks and this could be perfect for them. (If they could read your blog, they would probably love a Patrick in their lives; they are the first two, with lots of close cousins -- not remotely the same experience.)
Carry on! You do a great job at keeping it all together with perspective and humor.

[Tine]

Totally snazzy. I'd like a pair, please. ;)

In your position I would probably move Patrick sooner rather than later, for all the reasons that you mentioned. So what if he's moved a few times with no burning buildings? There are other very good reasons to switch schools.

[Abby]

I have a child who doesn't eat. We should introduce him to your Caroline. They'd hit it off grandly.

I'd move Patrick early. Hormones start to rage around sixth grade, and I think it would be too tough to start with new friends at that age.

And tell him those pants ROCK. I hope he never loses his awesome spirit.

[emilyhall]

I am sticking around for paper-training advice. My son is two months older than Edward and employing the same tactics. And he is so far unbribable.

[Cris]

Snazzy doesn't do them justice!

Q: I'm wondering what Patrick's friends call you? My kids are 3 and 1, and so far, my three-year old's friends all call me by my first nae. Growing up, everyone was Miss or Mr. to me and I wonder if I should leading the kids towards that so they understand that there is a difference (in terms of respect, following the directions of...) between kids and grown-ups. What do you think?

[alison]

VERY snazzy pants. I got a sewing machine for Christmas from my mom, and have so far made 4 bibs. So tell Patrick he is leaps and bounds ahead of me. ;)

So, the school thing. Growing up (in an itty bitty town - there were 17 in my graduating class) I was smarter than the average bear, but not "gifted" per se. (Which looking back may have been a product of the environment, lack of additional teaching, rather than my own brain, but anyway.) But I was always on the top edge of learning in whatever subject. For instance in 3rd grade I was reading the 4th grader reader books. And in 8th grade I was doing the 9th grade Algebra stuff. I guess, if my kiddo ends up in Patrick's shoes in 6 years, I would be more inclined to switch him to the gifted program now (for 4th-6th grade) rather than "waste" that 6th grade year. The worst thing for me growing up was boredom. The times when the rest of the class was doing something I already knew, sucked. Sometimes my teachers realized this and were proactive, but mostly they just told me and my parents to deal with it.

If he stays in the current school and switches for that one year, is there anything the school can do to keep pushing him academically? So he stays engaged?

I know you'll find the best solution - I'm just rambling. :)

[Beth]

Please tell Patrick that those are in fact the snazziest pants I have ever seen. I'd love a pair in women's size 12.

I'd say move patrick next year - 6th grade is a nasty, nasty time and being firmly set in a program with other gifted kids when the social craziness sets in may be really beneficial.

[Shefinn]

Is TAG what they're calling the accelerated (aaand...just had to spell-check accelerated. Clearly, I am not qualified to comment in any way on this post) program these days? In my day it was Gifted and Talented, or G and T. Did they change it because it sounds too much like Gin & Tonic?

[Ellen]

That kid is awesome -- love the pants!

Only because you asked, I would have to echo some of the readers above and suggest thinking seriously about the local 4th-6th program. I switched schools in 6th grade, and twenty years later, I still look back on that time as The Dark Years; it is truly horrible to be the new kid in a well established class at that age, particularly if you are not an inherent Popular Child (I was way too shy for that, and placed into all of the nerdy classes anyway). 4th grade is just so much friendlier, before the hormones and rampant insecurity of junior high turns formerly adorable kids into little monsters. Three elementary schools isn't a bad thing as long as he ends up in the right place, you know?

PS -- Skipping 6th grade has been tossed around as an idea, but I think it is a lot to ask of a child. There is such a big shift in social maturity in those years, and jumping from a peer group of 10-11 yr. olds to a peer group of 12-13 yr. olds could be rather overwhelming.

[Amy]

I think those pants are very snazzy and might I suggest would look great with his cape while rescuing a rainbow trapped in a time stream?

As for school, I think that moving him proactively would be best. Especially since he is going to wind up going to school with all these kids any way. It will also help ensure that come sixth grade he will not be completely bored in school. Not to mention the time savings for you on the drive and any making plans with his friends.

[Elsa]

My two cents:
Cent 1: Ask him what he wants. If he can sow his own pants he can choose his school. If it ends up sucking, he won't resent you (resenting one's mother for life sounds worst than a bad school year.)
Cent 2: What do you want? The twins will need more and more from you in the next years, and maybe each will need different things. Will having kids closer to home make a big difference to your daily life? (A zombie mother sounds worst than a bad school year.) Will the twins have to accommodate their school life to Patrick's? (Having your siblings resent you sounds dito dito...)

[liz]

Snazzy indeed. I love them.

[Carrie (in St. Paul)]

Awesome pants.

My personal two bits is I'd move him in fourth and I wouldn't have him skip sixth and go early into jr. high. My son skipped fourth - well, did third in one half year and fourth in the next half, going into fifth a year early with a lot of exposure to sixth graders as well. He wasn't ready for it socially even though now he is very well adjusted socially (now in 9th grade). And let's just note that I had to do the birds and bees talk much earlier than I would have otherwise because he was getting misinformation from his (older) peers. That didn't bother him, but I'm still emotionally scarred. When we moved him into a G/T school, we took that opportunity to move him back into his correct grade. If the new school would be G/T, there's no need to skip him ahead and it's my experience that by jr. high, when they are switching classes, it's much easier for them to take advanced classes without needing to skip a grade.

[Felicity]

Those pants are awesome. So is Patrick. Why not take a year off to do awesome things? There should be lots of out-of-the-house programs for homeschooled kids. I worry a bit about going straight to seventh grade (being younger/smaller is hard for boys in middle school).

[Carrie (in St. Paul)]

P.S. I'm not sure what district you're in or moving to, but St. Paul just announced a new plan yesterday that involves, among other things, moving 6th grade into a middle school setting with 7th and 8th grade.

[Nikki]

Those are among the most excellent pants I've ever seen... well done, Patrick!

[JP]

Kids move schools all the time for various reasons. My nephew attended a different elementary school every year from K-6 (military brother). He's fine. And very social. I do think the earlier move sounds like the better of the choices.
The pants rock! Also, Patrick was just very ahead of his time with the mismatched socks. My teenage son and his friends wear mismatched very colorful socks too. It's like a mild joke to them (my socks don't match my clothes nor each other, and no one knows but me (and whoever is around when my shoes are off)).

[TeacherMommy]

I had to explain to the students eating lunch in my room (because I work/surf through lunch often enough that they know I'll be there, sigh) why I was laughing quietly to myself at my desk. You still are the only pure mommy-blogger I truly enjoy reading, rather than read because, oh, I know you personally from Real Life and feel constrained to do so, donchaknow.

"Snazzy" is the best possible adjective for those pants. Absolutely. Also, may I perhaps hire him to sew up all the projects that I would like sewn but have neither the talent nor the (oh so essential) machinery to do? Except I'm broke right now, and knowing Patrick's financial brilliance, I doubt he'll be gung-ho about doing my work as "practice" for his future career as fashion designer/physicist/engineer/artist/billionaire.

And I'd say move him now rather than later, unless perhaps you want to move him in one year so he has two years there and two years in the new place.

Or skip him a grade.

I feel completely unreliable as an advisor in this case, despite being a teacher. This could be due to the detrimental effect the Plague has had upon my brain cells over the last few days.

Also? Children are confusing.

[Melani]

So, if it was me...I'd move my son to the district he'll be in for 6th grade. My husband went to private school until the 6th grade and then was thrust upon the public school system. He's 34 and still talks about how hard that horrendous year was...everyone already had friends, he didn't know what was going on, etc. As long as they have a program that will suit his gifted needs for the most part, I think the sooner you can get him with the kids he'll be growing up with, the better.

[Karen C.]

I think they are the snazziest! Most absolutely positively move him with the gifted program. His intelligence has no business with the previous school district. I suspect he would be miserable.

[Karen]

Very snazzy pants! Well done, and he is rocking the socks too.

Have you asked Patrick what he thinks about switching?

Eating and potty training? All I can tell you with confidence is that my sons are in college and it appears that everyone there is reasonably well potty trained-except on weekends perhaps, and that even the pickiest of students seem to be able to find something to eat on campus.

This too shall pass. To potty train my older son, when he had an accident he had to go with me and repeat what to do from the spot of the accident. Practice, what's that feeling, then we mimed running to the potty. It worked, I think, only because it made him furious. My second son was (and remains )oppositional. We had a master bathroom and a kids bathroom, and said he couldn't go in the master. We'd chase him down (laughing) if he tried. As a result he was trained in no time because he thought he was being a little bit naughty. I know, the therapy bills will be outrageous.

[Erika]

I am going through the same thing with my oldest (well, kind of, he's not quite as brilliant as Patrick) anyway he goes to school across town and I am SO SICK of the commute. Since he is not a baby genius to anyon but me and mine and there is a perfectly nice A-rated school in our district AND he loves the bus I want to move him but I went to 7 different schools from K-5 and hated every minute of it, never had friends, etc. so I don't want to do that to him. Anyway, no good advice but I'll be reading your comments for my own edification as well.

Patrick, your pants are not just snazzy, they are THE SNAZZIEST pants I have ever seen and if you set up an Etsy shop I shall buy some.

Will you let Patrick set up an Etsy shop? Please advise.

[SarahB]

That's tough on the schools.

I would vote either changing him this year to the 4th through 6th grade program or skipping 6th grade altogether if you keep him in his current school.

Socially, the first option would probably be better. Middle school can be really rough on gifted kids, and having some friends to start out with would be preferable.

Would your old school district put you in touch with some parents of kids currently in the program, I wonder?

[Angie]

Please tell Patrick the Pants totally "ROCK" and are way beyond snazzy.

[Sarah R]

Fantabulous pants...but, I would point out (as someone who adores pockets and believe that one can never have too many of them and that they are sorely lacking on women's clothes) that pockets on the knees, when filled with the sort of interesting things that pockets can get full of, might make it difficult, if not painful, to kneel.

And I too, smile in joy when I see a new Julia post show up in my reader.

As for the school situation...for no good reason I can put into words, I would go for moving him into the grade 4 through 6 gifted school within a school. So it's his third school? That just makes him well-rounded.

[Ami]

Oh, I had to change schools and know no one; moved to a new state the day before my 8th grade year started. That was a special circle of hell and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
Not sure if that will help you or not, but there it is.

[Kim]

Well - my daughter is in 5th grade now in a gifted program that is within another school that started in 4th, goes through 6th then keeps them clustered in Jr. High through 9th grade. I would suggest that might be a good route. She was not in any sort of gifted program before that. 2nd and 3rd grade, while I'd not classify them as total losses, were disasterous mentally, emotionally and somewhat academically. She's doing better now, but does continue to march to the beat of her own drummer. I would not have the ability or werewithall to drive her an hour in each direction. So I don't really know where I'm going with this except to say, I don't think changing elementary schools is that big of a deal. I think if you like the program at the closer school and Patrick is okay with the switch, then I'd do that. Best of luck. It is exceedingly easy to stress out about these things. Children - who knew they'd be so fraught with so many issues.

[Peg]

I just love the stories of your kids. Patrick sounds a lot like our older son Aidan. Love, love the pants. On the school front, I might consider switching schools and giving him the opportunity earlier rather than later to socially integrate with the kids he'll be with school with later.

We also have a picky eater who only eats chicken and brocoli in the healthy category. Chips of any kind are his favority and now cookie dough ice cream.

[elana]

snazzy absolutely! what is he making them on?

[katherine]

I completely dig Patrick's pants - knee pockets and all.

[cristalina]

I HEART Snazzy Snazzy Patrick. Wish I had been that inventive as a kid. Hope he keeps with the mismatched socks for several more years. And definitely put those pants in storage after he grows out of them.

[Bopper]

I would go with moving Patrick to the gifted school if possible. He will then be with the same group for 3 year and it will be more challenging and Patrick-friendly that the typical elementary school.

[Robyn]

Yeah, good luck with the potty training thing. I have two boys, both of whom trained right around their fourth birthday. We were pretty low-key about the whole process, however, and were guided by a pediatrician friend who once said that no child ever ended up in therapy for being potty trained too late.

[Audrey Whitton]

Snazzy, indeed. I'm impressed. The boy can sew better than I can, and I'm 27.

[Meegan]

Fantastic pants! Love the spot-on Jimi Hendrix reference - perfect.

As far as school goes, I do have an opinion about this. I went to 4 different elementary schools, two middle schools and one high school. I was gifted, although more along the lines of one class per day being geared toward kids like me, not a whole school. Socially, while challenging to be a new kid in elementary (k-5) it's manageable. But being the new kid in 6-8 really, really stinks. It's a whole new kind of hard. And if Patrick is going to bored silly in classes on top of being the new kid? If it were me, I'd want to avoid that situation, multiple elementary schools be damned. I understand this is a challenging decision for you. Good luck!

[Cori]

The pants? Absolutely snazzy!

Regarding the school issue: I went to six different elementary schools and I turned out OK. Seriously, I would move him sooner rather than later. It shouldn't be such an upheaval for him if he starts at the beginning of the year instead of mid-year. And having friends nearby at this age will probably be better.

Good luck! I'm sure it will be fine whatever you decide.

[Lisa B]

Kazowee! Those pants may not make it onto the golf course, but he's a cinch for Modigliani. :)

PS Kinda doubt the kids want free jewelry, huh?

[amanda]

My totally uninformed, gut reaction, former sixth grader opinion is to move schools earlier. Sixth grade is hell. New sixth grade sounds horrible.

I can't wait to order capes for my nieces!

Today sucks. Thanks for the post which distracted me. :)

[Darlene]

I agree that kids are all different and the same approach doesn't work for everyone. I thought my oldest son would never be potty trained. We tried everything and I think the best way is to do nothing and wait until they want to do it. He was fine in preschool because he just didn't go to the bathroom at all there. We had to hurry and get him in a pull-up when he got home. I LOVE the pants! I don't think Patrick would fit in at the regular elementary for 6th grade. I would go with switching him to the gifted program for next year. I'm going through school drama too with one failing 5th because of dyslexia, dysgraphia and probably soon-to-be-diagnosed ADD, one failing 2nd for difficult-to-determine reasons related to be adopted, and one that is only one year behind the middle one either needing to be moved up a grade or moved to the gifted program if he's accepted. I can relate to how difficult it is to make this kind of decision for a child!

[Sarah]

I love those pants! Snazzy. I'd love to see his next sewing project!

[Beth]

Oh the school thing...one of things that I've had to realize with my daughter is that no solution is perfect or without its own set of problems. This might seem over-obvious to everyone else, but I always have to fight the feeling that there is one perfect solution that somehow I must suss out or my daughter will be forever ruined.

Middle school is such an entirely different ball of wax than elementary; even if the kids are clustered, the social vagaries and incipient hormones make for a complex stew, and (I believe, for what it's worth)I think that part of the goal has to be how to give a highly gifted kid as much social advantage as possible...at least for my daughter, it really, really helped that she was in the same district in fifth grade, so that when she made the switch to middle school in sixth, she knew some kids. And we were given the option of having her skip sixth grade, but I'm really glad we didn't because she needs her peer group so much. She is taking some classes at higher grade levels, but in the main, we kept her with her peers...

Man, Patrick (and the twinkles of course) seems like such a great kid: funny, smart, loyal...I think he'll be great wherever you put him.

If you ever need to talk middle school/gifted kid, let me know. So far (the middle of her seventh grade) we've survived:)

[victoria]

I love your writing so much.

[lizardek]

Maybe you could get Patrick started on learning German a bit early? Then he can capitalize to his heart's content!

Also, those pants are even better than the Norwegian Men's Olympic Curling Team pants. And that's saying something.