MMXI

Happy (1) holidays; (2) birthday; (3) to see you again; (4) anniversary; (5) that I got the flu last time; (6) New Year

1. Patrick is exceedingly droll and a reward unto himself but for the person hoping to experience classic parental moments of lip-curving pleasure he has always been something of a trial, especially around the holidays. Not for one second of his existence has Patrick ever believed in elves. Rather than clasp his hands in surprised joy at the sight of the presents on Christmas morning he has been known to raise his eyebrows and say, "Really? Did we really need more stuff?" When I told Caroline and Edward that Santa might put presents in their stockings on Christmas Eve Patrick sat them both down and asked them to consider - seriously consider - whether the concept of Santa Claus made any sense whatsoever. And for the first six years of his life Patrick would open one gift and then devote his entire attention to it, firmly refusing to open anything else because (see?) he already had a gift and, really, that was plenty.

Killjoy, that's the word I was looking for. Curmudgeon. That's another.

I call this: The Magical Wonderment of Christmas Eve through a Child's Eyes. Scoot over, Norman Rockwell.

Patrick does like decorating the tree, though. And Edward likes whatever Patrick likes.

Actually, pausing Christmas for a moment, Edward has become Patrick's shorter, stockier, sportier doppleganger.

Patrick played constantly with the twinkles over the break and when he went back to school yesterday I thought Edward was going to go all suttee. It took four back-to-back episodes of Wonder Pets to coax him back from the edge of madness and despair. It was sewious.

Meanwhile back in Whoville

  
Caroline was so excited about Christmas she broke into spontaneous interpretive dance. She wasn't just merry; she was funky.

On the consumer front:

Edward got the parking garage from page 42 of the catalog (excuse me, magazine) that he has been sleeping with since Halloween. We helped him unwrap it and after a moment's stunned silence he said, "Oh it's Edward's parking lot!" and hugged the box.

My Dad and stepmother sent Caroline a thing called a funroller which is basically a giant inflatable hamster wheel for children. It was just what she needed.

A few weeks ago I went through the billion sticky notes that Patrick had placed in the Edmund Scientific catalog and discovered that there wasn't the slightest chance we were going to get him anything he coveted. Is it possible he may one day apply for a grant that will enable him to acquire a Celestron telescope? Sure. Am I going to buy him one? NO. I asked him what he wanted for Christmas that he might actually he get and he looked all liquid-eyed and said, "Christmas is really just about being together as a family" which of course made me want to slap him. So I said, "Ok, if you only got ONE thing for Christmas what would you hope it might be?"

He said, "Wait! What?? I'm only getting one present for Christmas?" (which... what price family-togetherness now, eh Saint Patrick?) and I said at this rate you aren't getting any so he stopped goading me and picked... a Lego set that I later discovered is out-of-stock until January. But Citiblocs. That's where I was going. In sheer desperation I ordered him a couple hundred Citiblocs which are a less expensive but perfectly serviceable version of Kapla blocks and they are absolutely terrific. Seven thumbs up.

All in all a very nice Christmas.

2. Caroline and Edward turned three.

Caroline got a doll who she named Tia. Tia now spends a lot of time stuffed between couch cushions unless I happen to walk by with a camera whereupon Caroline instantly becomes all maternal solicitude. She's not the most nurturing of personalities but she has great dramatic instincts.

Edward got a train table. I do not have a picture of Edward with his train table because any time someone walks within twenty feet of it Edward yells NO! MINE! and flings himself bodily over the trestles and bridges. I haven't really wanted to capture these moments of fraility although I did inadvertently get a pure Edward moment on Christmas Eve. Here he is a milisecond into a rage. Note the flared nostrils and the wild gleam in his eyes. It's not pretty. Actually, it IS pretty. Edward is always pretty. But shortly after the teeth clench he starts smacking things. I suppose in a way it is fortunate Caroline is a biter.

 
Anyway they turned three and opened their presents and were cute and pleased and said appropriate things like "Oh SANK you" and "Here, Tarayine, it's for you."

I told them we would have a party that night and our friends would come and there would be cake.

Caroline said, "And party hats?"

Party hats? 

I said, "Sure."

Sidebar:

I grew up in Washington DC where there are lots of different people who believe and celebrate lots of different things and where the expression "Happy holidays" is meant to convey both a friendly greeting and an acknowledgement that you are deserving of happiness however you spend the year's end; not - I don't think - as an intentional slight to the franchised majority. But I digress. Growing up I was friends with lots of different people and some of them were Jewish and one of my favorite childhood memories is of attending an all ages New Year's Eve party where the hosts had set out the largest bowl of candy I had ever seen (good stuff, too, like Tootsie rolls and Bazooka gum) along with dreidels and I sat there and spun for hours.

I wanted to recreate something similar this year at our house (what can I say? I like candy) so I stopped at a place called Party City one afternoon to buy a dreidel or seven. In the store I went up two hundred linear feet of Christmas decorations and then down another two hundred ditto of ditto without seeing so much as a single Star of David anywhere. I thought I must be in the wrong aisle so I asked a store clerk where the Hanukkah stuff was and she said, "Sorry. We don't carry anything like that."

I thanked her and looked at the angels and the Santas and the green and the red and the crosses and the tinsel and I vowed that I would never shop there again. I appreciate savvy merchandising as much as the next girl but really.

So imagine my chagrin when Caroline said she wanted party hats. DIEGO party hats. And something with trucks for Edward. And I found myself back in Party City for the second time in a week because where else was I going to fulfill such specific birthday wishes in less than four hours?

I still need a dreidel for next year but this time I am going to do my shopping somewhere other than the eastern suburbs of Saint Paul Minnesota.
 
On the plus side the hats were a big hit.

After the singing and the cake Edward stood on his chair and applauded, presumably for all of it. Caroline stood up next to him and wrapped her arms around him and whispered something. She has never done this before in her life and I would give anything to know what she said to him but I never will.

3. I woke up on the morning our Christmas houseguests left and enjoyed the feeling that comes with successfully dispatching one's hostessing obligations after a fun but hectic seven days. I had nothing to do that morning but keep the children mostly alive and possibly break down another 300 cardboard Amazon boxes.

Steve walked through the room, looked at me lying bonelessly in our bed and said, "I think they're coming around lunchtime."

I said, "WHAT?"

Steve was instantly defensive. He said, "I TOLD you my friends were coming to stay for a couple of nights. Last week. I told you last week." You can always tell when Steve secretly knows he's wrong because he gets so very strident about how right he is. Also he tends to walk away in the middle of a sentence.

I followed him into the kitchen.

"Who? What? When? Guests? Now? Today? Are you kidding?"

So he reminded me who and what and when and I reminded him that the last we had spoken on the topic it had been a month ago and at the time the friends had been uncertain about their plans.

He said he was pretty sure he had told me, which WHATEVER. Do I look like a person who would forget a whole new set of houseguests arriving minutes after the last ones leave? Like hell.

I said, "Like hell."

Then I asked what on earth was I going to feed them and he looked at me all sulky and I said, "Nothing, apparently, if you keep looking at me like that." So he laughed and said he was sorry and he agreed it was barely possible that he might have forgotten to mention that they had decided to stay with us and he'd go wash the guest sheets.

Then he promptly got the flu and went down as if he had been poleaxed.

4. Steve and I got married on New Year's Eve twelve years ago and to the best of my recollection we have never both been healthy on December 31st again. The only time in recent memory that we actually made it to a restaurant was three days after Caroline and Edward were born. She was in the NICU and Edward got admitted as well for jaundice so with our $3000 a pop highly qualified babysitters in place we took Patrick and went to the Outback near the hospital. I had no idea it was New Year's Eve and wondered why on earth it was so crowded. I had also somehow managed to lose my shoes during labor (a nurse put them in a drawer; I assumed Steve had taken them home) so before we went to Outback we drove to a shoe store. I walked through the snowbank in my socks and when the sales clerk came to help me I told her I needed to buy anything she had in a 7 wide wide.

She looked down at my wet socks and then looked around the floor, "Um where are your shoes?" she asked.

"It's a long story."

Patrick said, "Don't people who need shoes usually come to shoe stores?"

I digress again.

Poor Steve was a wreck for five days. He shivered so badly during the night that I finally threw an extra blanket over him and sat on him until he stopped shaking. Extra body heat you know. I learned that on MASH.

5. So happy new year and I apologize for the long delay in posting but I haven't had a moment to myself in EONS. My new year's resolution is to update my blog more frequently. I'm also going to learn how to drive the lawn tractor. I think that last one is related to Steve's flu but if I examine it too closely I suspect my motivations are excessively morbid.

How were your holidays? Did you have fun? Did you get anything good? Did you give anything good? I need a new recorded book recommendation for Patrick and me; we're almost done with Artemis Fowl and I cannot remember which post I asked about books last time. So feel free to repeat yourself.   

I missed you.

Comments

[TeacherMommy]

I think you might be posting more frequently than I do, and with far more flair at that. So there. But BLECH for the latter half of events!!!

Have you investigated Roald Dahl's children's books? I highly recommend them, and their slightly dark satire may very well work for both you and Patrick.

I'm also starting to wonder if he may be able to handle, at least relatively soon, Terry Pratchett's Discworld books. It's a thought.

[Allie]

And again, I sent a link of this post to my husband. He loves hearing about Patrick - that kid freaking kills me. Also, Edward and Caroline are so beautiful - I love the photo of them in the party hats. Gorgeous.

[E]

In defense of Party City, the one in Albany NY had lots of Hanukkah stuff. However, Hanukkah was in the beginning of December so it was probably all gone by the time you got there.

[Amy]

I missed you too. And pictures of the twinkles. I can't believe they are three!

I recommend anything by Madeline L'Engile, starting with a Wrinkle in Time. Also any of Edward Eager's books, starting with Half Magic.

[Genevieve]

Ha! I was posting specifically to recommend A Wrinkle in Time, which I think Patrick will adore, and I love that the poster above also recommended it.
After A Wrinkle in Time (and possibly the sequels, A Wind in the Door and A Swiftly Tilting Planet and Many Waters, though my kiddo wasn't fond of A Wind in the Door), y'all should read last year's Newbery winner, When You Reach Me (by Rebecca Stead). A Wrinkle in Time is mentioned frequently and becomes a plot point.
Also, if he hasn't read The Westing Game (by Ellen Raskin) yet, you're in for a treat.

And yes to the Edward Eager books, especially Seven-Day Magic.

[Bridget]

Dreidels do exist in Minnesota! I grew up in St. Louis Park, which has a very high Jewish population (or at least it used to). As a little Catholic girl, I thought it was perfectly normal to learn the dreidel song and play with then at school during the holidays. So I would say check out St. Louis Park for your dreidel needs.

[Erika]

Squeee! You're back! I, too, click click clicked and signed up for the cruise twice (one from my work email and once from home) but can I sign up more than once? If so, I certainly will! I missed you so, so much as well. I have been clicking over hopefully each day. Any disappointment I feel from the days with no update is definitely immediately overshadowed by the pure JOY I feel on the days that you DO update! We love you so! Thank you for sharing your wonderful family and even more wonderful writing. You should absolutely be getting paid for what you do - I predict that the cruise ad is the first in a long line of sponsors/employers to offer you some decent money for your VERY worthy abilities!

[Shawna]

So wait, Steve was felled by the flu... and then the guests actually did arrive? For real? How long did they stay for, and if they were HIS friends how did you keep them fed and entertained?

Glad to have you back!

[Kelly]

We went for lunch on Christmas Eve wherein hubby picked up something nasty that had him feverish and shivering on and off for the next 3 days (and advil to deal with the chills *gave* him a low-grade fever - figure that one out!), just in time for us to drive the 5hrs up to the inLaws and spend 5 days jotting here and there to visit family and attend a wedding etc. Our litle boys got presents they like, we got some nice things and some thoughtless things and came home with my MiL's 10yr old Jeep SUV that she doesn't want anymore so now we have 2 vehicles and I'm no longer trapped in the house every day while hubby is at work. Except there's nowhere to go around here. And I'm sick as a dog now, too. Glad the holidays are over.

[diana]

just a thought- Hanukkah was early this year, so maybe they didn't have anything in stock anymore?

love the blog, glad you are back!

[Smumzie]

I got boy/girl twins, too (after 8 years of heartache, etc). A very Happy Holiday indeed.

:o)

[obabe]

You didnt find any dreidals because Hanukkah was in early december this year. Your family is so darn cute. I remember when the twinkles were born! wow.

[Leah]

We are Jewish, and when we first moved to Rockville, MD my Mom went to a Hallmark store (this would have been 1976) and asked for Chanukah wrapping paper. The woman working there said "I'm sorry, we don't carry that brand." Our favorite holiday story. DC misses you!

[grace413]

I missed you too. Wow, 3 years of cuteness with the twins. Patrick, of course, is one in a million.

A recommendation for next fall, if it's not against your principles: the flu shot for you and Steve.

There are indeed Jews in Minnesota, just in a different part of the Twin Cities metropolitan area.

[rupiedupie]

Happy Anniversary!
Ours is the same day.
16th this time around.

Holidays were a juggernaut of relatives visiting. I was exhausted and SO happy to have Sunday the 2nd FREE.

We hosted a brunch for my inlaws on New Years Day. Mother in law inquired if we made lots of noise at midnight.
(referring to the fireworks LOTS of people fire off around here)
Hubby flashed me a 'jim halpert' expression and gulped whatever food was in his mouth.
(I think we WERE making noise at that hour but private like in the bedroom don't you know.)
He bagged off and told his mother we were probably fast asleep by that hour.

So, Happy New Year to you Julia.
Glad you survived the mayhem.
Here's to a fantastic new season ahead.
;)

[Melissa K]

My New Year's resolution is to not lurk at blogs I really like. I guess I've been reading your blog since the twins turned one, which seems kind of surreal. It consistently makes me laugh out loud & this post is no exception. I looooove the photo of Edward a milisecond into a rage. Hilarious.

[Carrie (in St. Paul)]

Well and to Grace's comment above, the Highland neighborhood in St. Paul has a high Jewish population. It's home to an orthodox synagogue, several Jewish schools, the JCC and Cecil's Deli. Maybe the Party City in Highland Village would have had something.

Loved your long post and join everyone else in saying "the twinkies are three?!?!" Why I remember when they were just a sparkle in Steve's eye, as they say.

[Pat]

Does Patrick read Judy Bloome? I gave 8 year old S the Fudge series (who knew there were 5; last time I looked there were 2). He liked them so much that at one point he turned to me and said "I think I'll read a little Fudge for enjoyment."

[Heidi]

Scoot over, Norman Rockwell? More like shove off!

Yay for learning to drive the lawn tractor! (I'm thinking of an English term to use. Jiggers! No, that. Checkers! Not that either. Anyway.) It's astoundingly easy and you'll feel like you've accomplished a feat when you figure it out. Mowing is something that can be done where you SEE an obvious result.

[JulieO]

I got a dreidel at Target in Hudson, if that helps. But I hate party city too.

I love your alphabet ornaments! If only my kid was obsessed with letters instead of reptiles. It gave many people pause to see our Christmas tree adorned with rubber snakes and lizards. And lots of frogs. Oh well. It kept the kids happy, and really it was only the bottom half of the tree. I suppose I will miss it when the kids are older and don't want to decorate the tree at all? Anyway, happy new year and BIRTHDAYS!! 3 years old!! Wow!

[Crystal]

What I got was two months of too much togetherness with controlling in-laws, constantly trying to re.... educate them following intensive religious mind-bending, a whirlwind trip to retrieve our it turns out not nearly as well repaired following the unscheduled Bambi kill min-van from Michigan the week before Christmas rendering me a useless blob as our pending real estate transaction slowly progressed from mildly annoying to hellish and uncertain. Days before we are supposed to close.

What I was really hoping for is a Luger and one bullet, or perhaps a sofa that I could hide under that worked on the same principles as the Room of Requirement and would whisk me away to some place where I would never, ever be found again.

Instead I got a cook book and a massage mat.

Thanks for reminding me to stop feeling sorry for myself. :)

I do so hate being a petulant brat, and I never manage to get through the hard times with the grace you share with us. Which of course only adds to the self-loathing, but hey, in for a penny, in for the national debt. :P

*sigh*

Where does one get smashed in Lindale freaking Texas?

Hopefully the title hold up gets unheld tomorrow, the file goes to the underwriter, and instead of taking 3 weeks to approve our file, they rubber stamp it in minutes, rather than the 48 hours allowed.

It sure seemed like a good plan, 3 months ago. My horse will never know the depths of my devotion....

*sigh*

Hope the new year has unloaded all it's nasties and you are clear sailing for the ensuing 360 days.

[Crystal]

Reeducate them should be reeducate my kids... Silly me, thinking their religious education was mine to direct. Quaint concept, really.

Foo. I'm too cranky to be in even cyber company.... Good lord, hope I'm the only one!

[Jocelyn]

Julia,

I'm not sure whether I've commented before or not, but I couldn't resist this time. Your children are beautiful. Your writing is beautiful. Happy Holidays!

[Naomi]

Happy New Year!

1. Part of your dreidl problems may have been timing. Hanukkah 2010 was over almost before December started. Hanukkah 2011 falls later. (Much later, although the latest Hanukkah I remember started on December 26th, allowing procrastinators to buy all their Hanukkah presents in the after-Christmas sales.)

2. The Mysterious Benedict Society.

3. My older daughter got a Nintendo DS, which she adores (and which I've had lots of fun playing with after she goes to bed. Scribblenauts is so much fun.) And my husband finally after years of hinting got me an iPod. I had hinted about wanting a Nano but he got me a Touch and it is AWESOME. I love having a pocket computer because now I can play Scrabble with my imaginary Internet friends anywhere there's a wifi connection.

[Kirsten B]

Happy Everything to you too! We missed you as well.
Good presents received:
a Dalek moneybox and a new phone.

Good presents given:
a 12ft trampoline to my 3 year old. She was THRILLED. She hasn't stopped bouncing since; on Boxing Day she came charging into our bedroom at 6am yelling "Time to Bounce!"

No recorded book suggestions, but I'll read the comments. I always find good book suggestions from your comments. :)

[Party store]

I’ve reading with full of interest. He’s certainly raised my awareness.

[Alyssa]

Snap circuits -
http://www.amazon.com/Elenco-SC-500-Snap-Circuits-PRO/dp/B00008W73Z/ref=sr_1_5?s=toys-and-games&ie=UTF8&qid=1294319316&sr=1-5 and
http://www.amazon.com/Elenco-SCROV-10-Snap-Circuits-Rover/dp/B000GG7XXK/ref=sr_1_8?ie=UTF8&qid=1294319071&sr=8-8
- were a big hit with Miranda this Christmas. I have to say, though, the best gift I gave this year was an electric guitar/keyboard/drum pad to my two-year-old nephew. I am both the best aunt and the worst sister-in-law in town.

We've been listening to Little House on the Prairie. Cherry Jones is an awesome narrator but she reads. this. one. really. slowly. and it might drive Patrick crazy. Does he like Roald Dahl? Matilda and Fantastic Mr. Fox were both good as audiobooks.

[bward]

I'm not sure if he's read it but Lunch Money by Andrew Clementi is really really great. Especially if you have a kid (like me) who loves to make money :)

[julianna]

wisteria.com has a set of three handcarved and handpainted dreidels in a jute bag on sale for $4.75.
http://www.wisteria.com/Multicolored-Dreidels-Set/productinfo/W3609/

[lizneust]

I'm assuming you've read the entire Roald Dahl collection, but those are terrific if you haven't. I really enjoy any and everything by Diana Wynne Jones. I think you and Patrick would like her Chrestomanci series. I have no idea if those are available on audio tape or not.

We had a true Yankee Christmas here - sleds and snow shoes which we put to use after the blizzard hit.

You always make me laugh. Happy New Year to you, Steve and your beautiful kids.

[H]

Hmm... books for you and Patrick...

- Theodore Boone, Kid Lawyer - John Grisham - looks like fun
- Have you already done A Wrinkle in Time?
- I've heard great things about The Mysterious Benedict Society by Trenton Lee Stewart
- The 39 Clues series (Gordon Korman) is hot hot hot with kids in my community

[Megan]

Not sure if you've ever heard of this website/catalog, but if you haven't, check out Bas Bleu. Theyhavethe coolest, most unique books and gifts for people of all ages. Need a travel guide to 14th century England? They have that. Books on activities for indoor cats? They've got that too. I could seriously spend a ton of money there if I had it to spend. You'll probably find some great, offbeat stuff there for Patrick--and maybe even for you!

Best gift given: paper doll stationery to my 60 y/o mother. She *loved* it.

Glad you're back. I missed you!

[Laurie]

Oooh, Bas Bleu! LOVE their catalog! And there's Chinaberry, too....

[Lisame]

A Wrinkle In Time!

His and Her's ky jelly for a xmas gift cracks me up and I may have to do that next year.

My strangest gift this year? My mother bought my boyfriend of five years silk boxers and a bottle of booze. !? He doesn't drink! Boxers and booze?

[Cheryl]

100 Cupboard Trilogy on CD is AMAZING!!!!!

[Erica]

Wonderful to stop by and see a great holiday synopsis post, so much to enjoy!!!

When my third daughter was born a year and a half ago, I told my husband that I suddenly had a new idea for a name for her, I just didn't know WHERE it had come from.

Uh, heh heh, I now realize that I kind of accidentally named her Caroline. Maybe your blog is just TOO riveting, it's hypnotic in some way?

[Marie]

I'm not exactly sure how I found your blog but have truly enjoyed it. I have gone back from the "beginning of time" so to say and read forward. It took some time but I was very touched by your story and heart broken for you at times. I'm happy you were able to add to your family and life is good!!!! You are a talented writer and I have to say I crack up at some of your posts. Way cute kids too!! If you get a chance stop by my blog and chek it out. Have a great weekend.
Marie

[Borealis]

I am a lurker who never feels like I have anything worth saying, then, every once and awhile, you ask about books on tape and I attempt to write a novel in response, decide it needs editing, and never post it. So, even though this post has been up for awhile, I'd better just write something. Here is a non-novel, and...um...hi.

Just about anything you can get your hands on by Margaret Mahy (barring perhaps a few that are collections of poetry. My particular favorites are The Haunting, The Pirates Mixed-Up Voyage, Raging Robots and Unruly Uncles, and The Chewing-Gum Rescue and Other Stories.

Mahy's books are funny, some of them very silly and playful, some mostly serious. They're clever, observant and insightful with beautiful, clear character voices. Richard Mitchley, who reads most of our favorites, responds to those voices perfectly: for the most part he doesn't really create different voices for the characters, that would be redundant and possibly distracting, but he gets the rhythm of each person's speech just right.

Anyway I'll stop now since I said this wouldn't be a novel. I've loved these tapes all my life and they might be hard to find these days, but if your library's got any of them, they're wonderful and worth hearing.

[Cee]

This isn't kid-friendly but The Help is the best audiobook I've ever listened to. I had read the book previously but listening to the distinct voices took it to a whole other level.

Caroline's bob is so sassy!

[Clarity]

Have you read the Graveyard book by Neil Gaiman? The audio book is absolutely delightful.

[Julia P]

I have been reading your blog..on and off..for several years, through many,many miscarraiges, and finally a beautiful set of B/G twins. I have drawn much inspiration from your humorous perspective and I am glad to have found your blog again!

[nearlydawn]

You won't believe it, but I acutally FINISHED JUST TODAY copying, deleting duplicates, and formatting the entire contents of the last post where you asked for suggestions for reading while you were ill or on bedrest (can't remember exactly). I think this might be different from the post where you asked for books to share with Patrick. However, I believe a lot of them were tween/children-ish recommendations too. How ironic is that? I'll send it to you if you'd like. Really, the greatest irony is that I am not THAT much of a geek, I just thought much of the list was right up my alley, as I had finished and loved several of the suggestions you'd received.

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