Perambulin' Prose

I am on day five of the cabbage soup diet. If you have ever been silly enough to try this borderline eating disorder food plan you will understand when I say STEAK DAY.

The cabbage soup diet goes like this:

Day one - Eat soup and all the fruit you want. No bananas. No sugar. No alcohol. Limit liquids to tea, water or unsweetened fruit juice.

Day two - Soup plus high-fiber, no starch vegetables. Think broccoli, spinach, carrots... no corn, peas or beans. That night you get to treat yourself to a baked potato with butter and it is pretty much the most delicious thing ever.

Day three - Soup plus fruit AND vegetables. Score.

Day four - Soup plus skim milk and up to eight bananas. I mixed the milk and bananas with a couple of ice cubes and some cinnamon and pretended it was a shake. It tasted pretty good.

Day five - STEAK DAY. Up to 20 ounces of beef (or chicken or fish. plain, no skin) plus up to six tomatoes and the soup. Drink lots of water. I marinated flank steak in soy sauce, lime juice, lime zest and a little water and grilled it. It is now the new most delicious thing ever.

Day six - Beef plus soup plus vegetables.

Day seven - Brown rice and soup.

Now, doesn't that sound ridiculous?

A week before we left for vacation last summer I realized that none of my nicer summer things fit properly and I decided that I needed to either buy new clothes (not happening) or lose about five pounds, preferably in my hindquarters. So I asked google if there was a way to lose five pounds in seven days and google suggested that a healthy lifestyle which balances a reasonable diet with moderate exercise is the best way to reach and maintain an appropriate body weight. I told google not to be an ass and it grudgingly brought me to the cabbage soup diet pointing out that it was monstrously unhealthy and the sodium levels in the soup recipe were insane and living on nothing but soup for days was liable to cause otherwise doting mothers to fling their children out into the snow for talking about waffles.

I said uh-huh but does it work?

And google said, well, yeah, I guess but...

So I tried it and by the end of the week I had lost eleven pounds and none of my nicer summer things fit properly because they were sliding off my emaciated frame. I spent the first half of our week in Vermont hoiking up my trousers with my thumbs until regularly administered doses of ice cream and red wine brought me back to normal again. It was an interesting exercise in the luge run of asceticism ending in the snow pile of gluttony. I loved it. I loved it so much that I made a mental note that I am capable of becoming semi-addicted to anything including self-denial and I should probably steer clear of such things in the future.

But after Christmas I was feeling like someone who had spent two weeks consuming vast quantities of alcohol and whipping cream (not together. but not not together either) and I remembered how great I had felt the last time I starved myself (apart from the dreams about french bread) so I decided to try the diet again. Not so much for the weight loss as for the exhilaration I felt when I was sloshing with soup and smug.

(Although now that I think about it Patrick and I are going to Arizona next week - my stepmother has been quite ill and it's been much too long since we've seen them - and maybe a recessed part of my mind was wondering how 5000 snowflake shaped peppermint patties are going to look in capris.)

So that's what I've been doing all week. Eating soup. Oh and I hope it goes without saying that I am in no way endorsing this - because it is bad for you. I'm merely telling you what I initially did to temporarily drop a couple sizes in seven days and what I am now doing because my fondness for Fat Tire beer (of all things) is causing me to inflate like a pool toy.

+

Thank you for all of your thoughts on the school question. You were extremely helpful, as always.

I had actually presented the problem to Patrick a few weeks ago as we drove to school.

His initial response was, "I am NOT changing schools again."

I sympathized but explained that the situation required that he would most definitely change schools again; the only question was when. And then I detailed the grade gap that he was facing between his current district and our home district and why we were talking about it now rather than just waiting a couple of years.

Patrick listened and then said that he should probably just skip sixth grade.

I said yeeeeeeeaaaaaaah, that's possible? And we might decide that skipping into seventh is the right decision at that time? And we will certainly keep it as an option? But the difference between a single year at that age can be enormous and I was worried that he might be uncomfortable if he were surrounded by bigger kids all day. I pointed out how much Edward and Caroline changed between the ages of one and two and said that sometimes the difference between 10 and 11 or 11 and 12 can feel almost that huge.

He nodded.

Then I pointed out that going to a closer school that was designed like his current one would mean he could sleep a little later in the morning and that he might be able to do after school playdates if he had school friends who lived closer to us.

He said, "So I would have even more friends?"

And I said, "Yes! I guarantee it!"

[What's he going to do? Sue me?]

He said, "I'm in" and then realized that he might have just committed himself so he hastily changed it to, "I mean, I'll think about it."  I said we would go take a look at the options later in the winter and it might all be a moot point because the school that was closer to us is highly competitive and lots of kids wanted to take just a few spaces and I wasn't sure he could even get in. His eyes narrowed and he started to casually tell me about some piece of mathematical wizardry he had performed in class recently. I was secretly very pleased with myself. It's not often that Patrick falls into one of my psychological traps.

- speaking of mathematical wizardry (or complete lack thereof) I am baffled. Patrick's class was asked to memorize multiplication and division facts in anticipation of starting more complicated stuff this trimester. We made flashcards. He learned them. I mean, he's a little erratic on anything having to do with 24 (he seems to have an actual dislike of that number "Ah my old enemy 24," he said last night when he said 8 rather than 6) but apart from that and a little finger-wiggling as he brings up the numbers he's pretty solid at home. At home, I repeat, because he keeps bombing the timed review tests at school. I've asked him (nicely) what the hell and he has offered that the class is too distracting, that he just forgets, that he is afraid of success and therefore fails or that the sun was in his eyes. Meanwhile his teacher is sending increasingly larger notes to the effect that he must learn his math facts. 

Any thoughts? Like I said I'm baffled. I'm going to ask his teacher at conferences in two weeks but if you have any ideas on the whys and the what nexts of selective memory I'm open. -

As for school next year we'll see. The closer school is having an open house in February and we'll all go see what we think of the place. Someone in the comments mentioned what a shame it is you cannot test drive a school by sitting in classes for a few days and I agreed wholeheartedly. It's hard to get a sense of how things actually function by studying the wall decorations and watching a powerpoint presentation. The charter school meeting we attended spoke at length about how they were able to tailor their curriculum to each child individually and the hoops through which they leapt to make sure that fast learners were given accelerated work while those who needed more help in certain areas were appropriately supported. This all sounded great but when they got to the Q&A the first question was from a parent (not me! I am NOT this parent) who asked, "What do you have in place for gifted children?" (emphasis hers)

The guy said, brightly, well, we meet the needs of every child and gave a couple of examples and then said, "Of course very rarely you get a kid who is so extreme that we have to talk about extra steps. I can only think of five that we've had - like the second grader who could do eighth grade math. I mean, what do you do with that? We tried to approach it like he had a disability." Steve and I looked at each other.

I do understand and even appreciate what the guy meant but it is not the place for Patrick.

Anyway, we'll see. I feel quite fortunate that we're in a good situation right now and only need to change it if we think it will be a better situation for all of us - short term and long term. It's not an awful problem to have.

+

Edward's teacher called in the middle of this post and said that he was coughing so hard they were worried about him. Poor Edward - everything always goes right to his lungs. I went to get them and it was obvious that his mild cold from this morning has morphed into a bad one.

They had their three year appointment last Friday, which is where I assume they picked up the virus. They both got vaccines (Caroline got the prevnar 13; we discovered that we had skipped two vaccines at Edward's two year appointment so he got those plus the new prevnar) and by dinnertime their eyes glassed over and Caroline just put her head on the table and moaned. The next day she had her highest fever ever and although I am hesitant to attach causality to something that may merely share temporality I have to say that I think her 104 temperature was caused by the vaccine.

They went into my bedroom and got pillows and then made themselves a foot-to-foot bed on the couch. It was pretty cute. Then they demanded television, juice and medicine. That was less cute.

Not much new from the three year appointment. Edward is 50th percentile for height, 50-75th for weight; Caroline is 25th percentile for both. She was in her element - there is nothing she likes better than a meeting convened expressly for the purpose of talking about her. So enough about me... what do YOU think about me?

She shook hands with the doctor when he came into the room and said, "It's nice to meet you again" before offering him his choice of treats: would he like to look in her eyes or see her balance on one foot? Would he care to hear her views on the lack of realism in the Noah's Ark poster on the wall ("Why aren't the tigers eating the sheeps?") She sang a few bars of a song of her own composition, the lyrics of which change every time but it generally includes something to the effect of "If I'm so happy why do I cry and cry and cryyyyyyyyyyy."

He pronounced her healthy, appropriately proportioned and very precocious. He said, "I think you're going to have trouble with this one" in that cheerful singsong of therebutforthegrace. 

Which reminds me, I was talking to my mother this afternoon and somehow the subject of elaborate Spring trips for high school seniors came up. My mom said she only let my brother go to Rehobeth and I said, "And me!"

Then there was an awkward silence as I remembered that actually it was my junior year and she had forbidden me to go and I went anyway. By Greyhound. After saying I would be staying the night with a neighboring friend.

My mother clearly was thinking about the same thing because she gave an ominous cackle and said, "I cannot WAIT until Caroline is a teenager."

Neither can Caroline.

+

We were in Joann fabrics again last weekend so Patrick could buy a few yards of corduroy he had coveted but when he saw the fleece with cars all over it he chose that instead and said he wanted to make pants for Edward. Then he found a ladybug print that he thought Caroline would like and when we got home he went to work.

Two hours later he had two crazyadorable pairs of elastic-waisted wee trousers. 

Caroline loves hers.

Edward took a little convincing

But eventually agreed.

He's a nice kid and damn is he able to do things with his hands.

+

I know I know... wrapping up.

Patrick and I have narrowed our next audiobook choice down to...

1. Diana Wynne Jones' Chrestomanci series

2. The Charlie Bone books

3. The Bartimaeus Trilogy

Which one do you suggest?

For you: The Septimus Heap series is still our favorite and Patrick is reading the books now because we liked it so much on audio. Really smart, fun fantasy. I loved the Graveyard Book SO MUCH as read by Neil Gaiman - talk about an embarrassment of riches; how can someone who writes so well also be such a talented voice actor? And we are enjoying the Artemis Fowl books (narrated by Nathaniel Parker only. we wound up with one by the other guy and couldn't stand it) very very much.

Comments

[KristiBug]

GOSH, you CRACK me up. :) Thank you! I always look forward to your posts!

"I was secretly very pleased with myself. It's not often that Patrick falls into one of my psychological traps."

[Megan]

DEFINITELY the Chrestomanci series. Okay, I haven't actually read the other two, but I love the Chrestomanci series to pieces. Also, the author of them is a good pal of Neil Gaiman, and if the author of a book you liked likes her, then surely she should be your next choice?

[Connie]

@KrisitBug-- Me too!!

Can/Do you post a link to the books you have listened to so far? I have lost track.

[Toni]

Caroline sounds like my middle child - a 5 year old - who left my car with a hat on - and then took it off as soon as she was in 15 feet of her preschool door (and thought I was gone). I remember doing something similar when I was in high school. We are so screwed.

[Allison]

I LOVE that Patrick is so into sewing. I love making things with my hands too, even though in my work all I do with my hands is type. I just wanted to let you know that you absolutely have to sign up for the JoAnn coupons. Every two weeks or so you get a coupon for 40% off a regularly priced item (which can be one cut of fabric). It's awesome! Never pay full price for fabric!

[Cathy]

Hi! We've been having a lot of trouble with spelling words at our house (the words are hard! Flew, bruise, and 10 other "ew" sounding words that may or may not have actually had an ew in them). So, we tried what I'm calling the "magnadoodle method" last week and this week. Last week, missed the test due to strep throat, so I really don't know what the results are yet. But...just doing the spelling words out loud wasn't helping much (still failiing tests). So we've added a writing and reading component to the quizzing in the car ride where she says the letters out loud as she's writing it on her little sister's magnadoodle.

I'm not sure what kind of learner my daughter is, but apparently it's not the kind that is able to do well on spelling tests with only oral quizzes to practice.

It gives her a chance to see how it looks when the word is spelled right and to check her work by sounding it out.

[Jenn]

"If I'm so happy why do I cry and cry and cryyyyyyyyyyy." hahaha, has Caroline been listening to Morrissey?

[SarahB]

My husband wanted to know why I was laughing so hard, and I said, "Because I am reading Julia at home, not at the office, and I can."

And now to bed. I enjoyed those wee fleece trousers. And I hope you fit into your own wee trousers after your cabbage soup week. Safe travels.

[Erika]

Ahh, the secret teenage road trip. I had one of those after jr. year, to see a summer camp boyfriend who lived FIVE HOURS away. My bf & I told our parents we were going hiking at the coast (1.5 hrs away), got up early, made it there in 4.5 hrs, had a lovely lunch and, um, hike on a nearby island, and drove back. Totally insane. I think I finally told my mom after college. She'd never know.

The boyfriend now works for Focus on the Family, or some such scary org. Speaking of therebutforthegraceofGodgoI...

re: the charter school, I'd be more concerned w/ the "what do you with a kid like that" response than w/ the treating him like he had a learning disability part. A lot of the stuff I've read about gifted kids indicates that, really, they *are* special needs kids, and probably should have IEPs, etc. But it doesn't sound like this guy was really thinking along those lines...

[Erika]

bf = best friend, not boyfriend. I knew I was using the wrong slang there...

[Jen]

Math facts: google it! There are all sorts of silly little games online -- some so old Patrick'll have a taste of pong, others more exciting, and some just straight up facts, but timed or with some little competitive element. If I can find the one I'm thinking of, I'll post it tomorrow -- they can play online against other kids (or their parents...) Actually, I'll just ask the resident 8 yo who played it twice but is far more likely to remember the name of the website than his middle-aged mother.

Oh -- and factor captor, try googling it, too.

[Lisa]

I recently read somewhere that we remember things better if we read them in a difficult font - that our brain has to work harder to process the info and so we retain it better - or something? Maybe have Patrick type up the times tables in a crazy font? (I know he loves fonts.) Maybe then they'll be seared into his brain and come back more automatically in school? (I used to write all my notes out in coloured markers - I needed to both write to remember and I remember better stuff in color.)

[styleygeek]

Your posts are the only thing in the world that make me think it might be fun to have kids :)

As for Patrick's maths "facts" problem, here's a datapoint:

At his age, I too kept failing the timed multiplication and division tests, and actually got failing report cards for maths, because that's all they went by. At 15 I sat the university entrance exams for mathematics and got a scholarship. My score was in the top 10 in my country. I went on to study mathematics at university (although I didn't major in it), and got all As. I was on our national mathematics Olympiad team.

Timed rote performance tests suck. They mean nothing. Patrick will learn his multiplication and division facts when he actually needs them, which may be never, or when he starts regularly using them in his daily life.

[Megan]

Did you know that there is a game totally devoted to the number 24? I love, love, luuurrrrrve it. (This is probably due to the fact that I am pretty good at it, so it makes me feel smart.) Perhaps it could trick Patrick into making peace with his old enemy.

[Megan]

I tried to code a link in that last comment, but it didn't work. I just now noticed that "(URLs automatically linked.)" note down there. Doh!

http://www.24game.com/

[hannah]

chrestomanci! chrestomanci! chrestomanci! (oops now i've summoned him)
but seriously they're so good. also good: lemony snicket. they are head and shoulders above anything else.

[Naomi]

If there is any finger-wiggling required, he'd bombing the math-fact tests because you need pretty much instant recall of the facts. Also, you need to be able to write quickly.

If he keeps taking them at school I'm sure he'll pass them by the end of the year.

And ITA about test-driving schools. We moved my older daughter to a charter school this year, one that makes a really big deal about how they provide challenging work to "high-ability students" and they do math placement with placement tests and so on and so forth. They don't know what to do with her, either. The good news is that she's only a year away now from being able to take the UMTYMP placement test (UMTYMP: designed for Minnesotan kids who were doing 8th grade math in 2nd grade.) UMTYMP starts in 6th grade and you might want to consider that option/possibility for Patrick as you contemplate your schooling options.

(To be fair, we are mostly really happy with this school and it's a good environment for her. She is being underserved in math, however.)

[Naomi]

GAH typo.

What I'm trying to say about the finger wiggling is that it usually implies that the kid is pausing, very briefly, to do a mental calculation, like counting quickly by 7s or whatever. Which in my book really ought to be good enough. But, to pass the timed multiplication test most schools use, you need to just know what 7x8 is, without any thinking about it. And, you also have to be able to write quickly. One thing that occurred to me is that he might be taking extra time to write neatly.

[MG]

Bartimaeus has an AWESOME audiobook narrator; we are in the middle of Book 2 now and are very much enjoying it. It does have a couple fairly dark parts, though.

I read the first Charlie Bone, and at least from an adult perspective, found it very disappointing. The answer to the central mystery of the book becomes completely obvious by midway through, yet it's not actually resolved in that book -- I don't know how long the author drags it out, because I was so annoyed by it that I had no interest in even continuing to the second book.

[Kirsten]

Not sure about the math test issue, but I do know a very fun computer game having to do with multiplication tables. It's called Timez Attack and you can find it at http://www.bigbrainz.com. A few years ago it was free; just now when I looked on the site it looks like only some portions are free...If I remember, there was a time component, so if the time pressure is an issue like a commenter above suggested, maybe it would help. On the other hand, if he knows the math facts, maybe you don't care how he does on the test.

[Kirsten]

Oh, and I completely get not liking certain #s. As a kid, I had an aversion to adding 8 and 5; or multiplying 7 and 6. The #s had distinct personalities and they did not always mix well together. Now, they are just #s to me, but back then, it was a soap opera.

[Stacey]

I've been promising to start commenting on your blog more, since I read it religiously and LOVE it, and I must say that now I feel motivated because I also love Fat Tire beer. Also, my boy-girl twins, who are only 6 months old, are starting to eerily remind me of yours now (after having read your blog since they were born), and the fact that my Josephine is so much like your Caroline has me a bit worried.

Thanks for the beautiful writing!

[arabelladonn]

Gaiman's "Coraline" audiobook is also voiced by himself, and wonderful, if you haven't heard it already!

I used to frequently drive from Central Illinois to Kansas City, which is a just over five hour drive, and Coraline was the perfect length, as it is just over five hours long. I probably have listened to it 10 times and have not tired of it yet.

[Sabrina]

The Bartimaeus Trilogy, hands down

[Nancy]

Patrick is incredible at sewing!! Is he using a pattern to make those? Pretty darned amazing.

[amanda]

OH MY GOD i love you all. so, so, so much.

[Kat]

Really: Edward. I mentioned his reflux was similar to my sons as an infant. This unfortunately grew to asthma like symptoms with colds (constant coughing is spasming of the bronchioles or some such). An inhaler isn't perfect but it helps. C is 6 now and it is getting better but by no means gone.

[Sarah]

Why can't you call the teacher on Monday and say, Hey, Patrick is acing this math thing at home but says he can't focus in class. Can he take the test in a quieter room and see what happens?

Also, why CAN'T he sit in on classes at a prospective school for the day? Can't you just ask the principal? Or half a day? The two of you could sit in the back of the room like UN observers --hell even just a couple hours. Don't they let you do this? I would lobby for it.

Patrick is freaking brilliant.

[Diane]

OMG, I am dyin' here at Caroline's dramatic hand on her chest in her sickbed.

[Beth]

The Bartimaeus books are the snarkiest, and it sounds like you guys like those. I've read the books and liked them; haven't heard the audio.

The Crestomancis are great. Most DWJ is wonderful. I've enjoyed the audios of Charmed Life and Lives of Christopher Chant -- they are among my favorites.

I found the Charlie Bone series more derivative, and I haven't heard the audios. I put those on the bottom.

[Deanna]

I'm reminded of a girl I once knew who told her parents she was going camping for the weekend with girlfriends (age 16) but actually drove to Montreal with her 20-year-old boyfriend after successfully lying to the gate agents on the New York side of the border. Her parents found out and came thisclose to calling in federal kidnapping charges. And when I see my daughter's mischief face, which looks just like Caroline's, all I can think is "One day I'm going to have to call in the Mounties to wrangle you."

They're so much fun...and my hair is so much grayer now.

[Priscilla]

what a lovely update! i love updates! can you schedule one for next wednesday? we're getting yet another big snowstorm in new england that day and i'm trying to ward off the oh no not another snowday boredom/panic/insanity with things to which I can look forward.

and good luck with the math facts! i staunchly refused to learn division tables as a child and instead insisted upon multiplying backwards. which is time consuming. and stressful for one's mother.

[Hetty Fauxvert]

Luuuuurrrve your blog. Update whenever you can. It always puts the icing on my day.

Re the times tables. Ahem. I am a member of Mensa and thus officially Not Stupid, but to this day I wrassle with times tables, because back when my parents were attempting to teach me my "math facts," they used homemade flash cards made from white index cards. And I could see right through the thin cards when they held them up for me to read. Which meant I would just read the answer on the back and say it, and my doting parents thought I knew the damned times tables. Which I did not. I still have to think about 7's and 6's. I suggest you make sure your own little genius is not circumventing the spirit of things in some way. :)

[Hetty Fauxvert]

BTW, re the diet (which sounds fabulous, at least in terms of losing weight quickly), I have to ask: Does it turn one into a giant flatulence factory? I love cruciferous vegetables, but ya know, if you eat enough of them it has a certain ... effect. Does this diet have drawbacks of that sort?

[QoB]

Chrestomanci!!!! I have a long-standing and eternal love for Diana Wynne Jones. She is the bomb.

[Meegan]

Good heavens, your children are amazing. I don't think precocious quite covers it. LOVE the story of Caroline at the doctor's office. I do believe her doctor is correct. And so is your mother. You are in for one heck of a roller-coaster ride, my friend!

[Jillian]

Patrick needs his own Etsy shop. I would place an order and let him pick the fabric.

I love cabbage soup and fruit and vegetables. Maybe I should do that. But I also love spaghetti, which is problematic.

[Becky]

I adore Dianne Wynne Jones. Although, for interesting reading, you should take a look at her thoughts on JKR perhaps lifting a bit of her work. I love them both and withhold judgement on either.

Also, I make similar pants for my young children and am able to turn them into pajamas by adding in tops. This is most easily done by getting some wonder under and using it to attach a large patch (reinforce with stitching) of the same fabric to plain white t-shirts. If he wanted to really branch out- I sometimes make Megan a kimono top but that gets a little fiddly around the arms. He might enjoy some of the projects on this site: http://www.make-baby-stuff.com/index.html

Also, Patrick seems like he might find the social ins and outs of middle school a bit miserable (who doesn't!). I have to say that if it were up to me, I would have been totally up for skipping 7th grade and am not sure I would have made me any more socially awkward and miserable than I already was.

[Josephine]

I tried the cabbage soup diet the week before our beach vacation. I lost 7 pounds, but my intestinal distress was pretty bad. Also, I felt kind of dizzy a few of the days. But it worked...

[Lolly]

Chrestomanci! Diana Wynne Jones is awesome!

[Clarity]

The pants are wicked, can he make me a pair?!

You must listen to Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett, Best. Audiobook. Ever, right after Graveyard Book. Or maybe before. Awesomeness.

[Jill]

BARTIMEAUS!!!!!!!!

so much better than the other 2!!!!!

[Carrie]

A suggestion for the math facts. I'm a teacher so I have several tips, feel free to skim. First, play games. One that my kids always love is like War. Basically you each have half a deck, each person puts a card down, you multiply the numbers, the first person with the correct answer wins the cards.

There are tons more. Just google math games. Funbrain.com, funschool.com have tons of online math games.

Also try to recreate how the teacher is testing him. So whatever she's doing (a timed test, or whatever) do once or twice every day. But exactly like she does. Let the kids run around. If it's one minute, make it one minute, etc.

Hope this helps. Good luck!

[mercutio]

CHARLIE BONE CHARLIE BONE CHARLIE BONE

[karen]

Hello,

I love math and have a degree in it. I consistently failed timed math tests at Patrick's age. Because I enjoyed actually performing the calculations and had absolutely no interesting in memorizing a table.

Why memorize that stuff when you can compute it? Isn't the point of math that you can combine any numbers? You can't memorize that table, it would be infinitely large. (I am actually extremely dubious of the value of a timed test in terms of mathematical pedagogy.)

I would maybe slow down because I also got distracted thinking about all the numbers, some of whom were my friends and some of whom were my enemies. Some of them were harder to multiply together because they had conflicting personalities (e.g. 7 and 8).

I think Patrick will be just fine when it comes to math.

[sbg6]

I agree with the teacher who just posted. Ask for sample copies of the tests and give them to Patrick at home. If he is actually having a problem with the material, you'll see it. If not, he'll build test-taking skills, which are an unfortunate necessity in our system.

Here is what I tell my students when I'm trying to get them to memorize facts: Math is like a game of Don't Touch the Ground. You are trying to get from here to there across the room, and the more stepping stones you have, the more options you have. Will you be fine at math if you never learn 6x7? Sure. But the more facts and relationships you have at your fingertips, the easier it's going to be for you. And then I walk on the tables to illustrate and it brings down the house.

Also, as a middle school teacher, sixth graders are WAY different from seventh graders. Just to back up your misgivings on that front.

[Lawmommy]

Gabriel (age 10) says, categorically, CHARLIE BONE.

That diet sounds...awful. You can eat all the fresh fruit you want now on Weight Watchers. (Not that you need to lose any weight, honestly, by your photos, but just as an alternative to...whatever the hell that diet is...)

[me7c7v]

I recommended the Graveyard Book!!! I love that book so much!! :-D :-D (I don't know if my suggestion made any difference but I am feeling pleased).

I also vote for Chrestomanci! Also, I just had a long car trip and listened to Mimus by Lilli Thal for that and it was pretty good.

[Jean]

I can read what you write all day long and never get tired of it.

[Owlfan]

I second the idea of getting a copy of the math timed test and working on it at home. My older son used these in 2nd grade and had a horrid time on the subtraction test. I found one problem was that the test had been photocopied so many times that it was blurry - so I volunteered to re-type it. That helped, but it still took him months to do 100 subtraction problems in 4 minutes. If Patrick is having concentration problems, maybe earplugs?