Perambulin' Prose

I am on day five of the cabbage soup diet. If you have ever been silly enough to try this borderline eating disorder food plan you will understand when I say STEAK DAY.

The cabbage soup diet goes like this:

Day one - Eat soup and all the fruit you want. No bananas. No sugar. No alcohol. Limit liquids to tea, water or unsweetened fruit juice.

Day two - Soup plus high-fiber, no starch vegetables. Think broccoli, spinach, carrots... no corn, peas or beans. That night you get to treat yourself to a baked potato with butter and it is pretty much the most delicious thing ever.

Day three - Soup plus fruit AND vegetables. Score.

Day four - Soup plus skim milk and up to eight bananas. I mixed the milk and bananas with a couple of ice cubes and some cinnamon and pretended it was a shake. It tasted pretty good.

Day five - STEAK DAY. Up to 20 ounces of beef (or chicken or fish. plain, no skin) plus up to six tomatoes and the soup. Drink lots of water. I marinated flank steak in soy sauce, lime juice, lime zest and a little water and grilled it. It is now the new most delicious thing ever.

Day six - Beef plus soup plus vegetables.

Day seven - Brown rice and soup.

Now, doesn't that sound ridiculous?

A week before we left for vacation last summer I realized that none of my nicer summer things fit properly and I decided that I needed to either buy new clothes (not happening) or lose about five pounds, preferably in my hindquarters. So I asked google if there was a way to lose five pounds in seven days and google suggested that a healthy lifestyle which balances a reasonable diet with moderate exercise is the best way to reach and maintain an appropriate body weight. I told google not to be an ass and it grudgingly brought me to the cabbage soup diet pointing out that it was monstrously unhealthy and the sodium levels in the soup recipe were insane and living on nothing but soup for days was liable to cause otherwise doting mothers to fling their children out into the snow for talking about waffles.

I said uh-huh but does it work?

And google said, well, yeah, I guess but...

So I tried it and by the end of the week I had lost eleven pounds and none of my nicer summer things fit properly because they were sliding off my emaciated frame. I spent the first half of our week in Vermont hoiking up my trousers with my thumbs until regularly administered doses of ice cream and red wine brought me back to normal again. It was an interesting exercise in the luge run of asceticism ending in the snow pile of gluttony. I loved it. I loved it so much that I made a mental note that I am capable of becoming semi-addicted to anything including self-denial and I should probably steer clear of such things in the future.

But after Christmas I was feeling like someone who had spent two weeks consuming vast quantities of alcohol and whipping cream (not together. but not not together either) and I remembered how great I had felt the last time I starved myself (apart from the dreams about french bread) so I decided to try the diet again. Not so much for the weight loss as for the exhilaration I felt when I was sloshing with soup and smug.

(Although now that I think about it Patrick and I are going to Arizona next week - my stepmother has been quite ill and it's been much too long since we've seen them - and maybe a recessed part of my mind was wondering how 5000 snowflake shaped peppermint patties are going to look in capris.)

So that's what I've been doing all week. Eating soup. Oh and I hope it goes without saying that I am in no way endorsing this - because it is bad for you. I'm merely telling you what I initially did to temporarily drop a couple sizes in seven days and what I am now doing because my fondness for Fat Tire beer (of all things) is causing me to inflate like a pool toy.

+

Thank you for all of your thoughts on the school question. You were extremely helpful, as always.

I had actually presented the problem to Patrick a few weeks ago as we drove to school.

His initial response was, "I am NOT changing schools again."

I sympathized but explained that the situation required that he would most definitely change schools again; the only question was when. And then I detailed the grade gap that he was facing between his current district and our home district and why we were talking about it now rather than just waiting a couple of years.

Patrick listened and then said that he should probably just skip sixth grade.

I said yeeeeeeeaaaaaaah, that's possible? And we might decide that skipping into seventh is the right decision at that time? And we will certainly keep it as an option? But the difference between a single year at that age can be enormous and I was worried that he might be uncomfortable if he were surrounded by bigger kids all day. I pointed out how much Edward and Caroline changed between the ages of one and two and said that sometimes the difference between 10 and 11 or 11 and 12 can feel almost that huge.

He nodded.

Then I pointed out that going to a closer school that was designed like his current one would mean he could sleep a little later in the morning and that he might be able to do after school playdates if he had school friends who lived closer to us.

He said, "So I would have even more friends?"

And I said, "Yes! I guarantee it!"

[What's he going to do? Sue me?]

He said, "I'm in" and then realized that he might have just committed himself so he hastily changed it to, "I mean, I'll think about it."  I said we would go take a look at the options later in the winter and it might all be a moot point because the school that was closer to us is highly competitive and lots of kids wanted to take just a few spaces and I wasn't sure he could even get in. His eyes narrowed and he started to casually tell me about some piece of mathematical wizardry he had performed in class recently. I was secretly very pleased with myself. It's not often that Patrick falls into one of my psychological traps.

- speaking of mathematical wizardry (or complete lack thereof) I am baffled. Patrick's class was asked to memorize multiplication and division facts in anticipation of starting more complicated stuff this trimester. We made flashcards. He learned them. I mean, he's a little erratic on anything having to do with 24 (he seems to have an actual dislike of that number "Ah my old enemy 24," he said last night when he said 8 rather than 6) but apart from that and a little finger-wiggling as he brings up the numbers he's pretty solid at home. At home, I repeat, because he keeps bombing the timed review tests at school. I've asked him (nicely) what the hell and he has offered that the class is too distracting, that he just forgets, that he is afraid of success and therefore fails or that the sun was in his eyes. Meanwhile his teacher is sending increasingly larger notes to the effect that he must learn his math facts. 

Any thoughts? Like I said I'm baffled. I'm going to ask his teacher at conferences in two weeks but if you have any ideas on the whys and the what nexts of selective memory I'm open. -

As for school next year we'll see. The closer school is having an open house in February and we'll all go see what we think of the place. Someone in the comments mentioned what a shame it is you cannot test drive a school by sitting in classes for a few days and I agreed wholeheartedly. It's hard to get a sense of how things actually function by studying the wall decorations and watching a powerpoint presentation. The charter school meeting we attended spoke at length about how they were able to tailor their curriculum to each child individually and the hoops through which they leapt to make sure that fast learners were given accelerated work while those who needed more help in certain areas were appropriately supported. This all sounded great but when they got to the Q&A the first question was from a parent (not me! I am NOT this parent) who asked, "What do you have in place for gifted children?" (emphasis hers)

The guy said, brightly, well, we meet the needs of every child and gave a couple of examples and then said, "Of course very rarely you get a kid who is so extreme that we have to talk about extra steps. I can only think of five that we've had - like the second grader who could do eighth grade math. I mean, what do you do with that? We tried to approach it like he had a disability." Steve and I looked at each other.

I do understand and even appreciate what the guy meant but it is not the place for Patrick.

Anyway, we'll see. I feel quite fortunate that we're in a good situation right now and only need to change it if we think it will be a better situation for all of us - short term and long term. It's not an awful problem to have.

+

Edward's teacher called in the middle of this post and said that he was coughing so hard they were worried about him. Poor Edward - everything always goes right to his lungs. I went to get them and it was obvious that his mild cold from this morning has morphed into a bad one.

They had their three year appointment last Friday, which is where I assume they picked up the virus. They both got vaccines (Caroline got the prevnar 13; we discovered that we had skipped two vaccines at Edward's two year appointment so he got those plus the new prevnar) and by dinnertime their eyes glassed over and Caroline just put her head on the table and moaned. The next day she had her highest fever ever and although I am hesitant to attach causality to something that may merely share temporality I have to say that I think her 104 temperature was caused by the vaccine.

They went into my bedroom and got pillows and then made themselves a foot-to-foot bed on the couch. It was pretty cute. Then they demanded television, juice and medicine. That was less cute.

Not much new from the three year appointment. Edward is 50th percentile for height, 50-75th for weight; Caroline is 25th percentile for both. She was in her element - there is nothing she likes better than a meeting convened expressly for the purpose of talking about her. So enough about me... what do YOU think about me?

She shook hands with the doctor when he came into the room and said, "It's nice to meet you again" before offering him his choice of treats: would he like to look in her eyes or see her balance on one foot? Would he care to hear her views on the lack of realism in the Noah's Ark poster on the wall ("Why aren't the tigers eating the sheeps?") She sang a few bars of a song of her own composition, the lyrics of which change every time but it generally includes something to the effect of "If I'm so happy why do I cry and cry and cryyyyyyyyyyy."

He pronounced her healthy, appropriately proportioned and very precocious. He said, "I think you're going to have trouble with this one" in that cheerful singsong of therebutforthegrace. 

Which reminds me, I was talking to my mother this afternoon and somehow the subject of elaborate Spring trips for high school seniors came up. My mom said she only let my brother go to Rehobeth and I said, "And me!"

Then there was an awkward silence as I remembered that actually it was my junior year and she had forbidden me to go and I went anyway. By Greyhound. After saying I would be staying the night with a neighboring friend.

My mother clearly was thinking about the same thing because she gave an ominous cackle and said, "I cannot WAIT until Caroline is a teenager."

Neither can Caroline.

+

We were in Joann fabrics again last weekend so Patrick could buy a few yards of corduroy he had coveted but when he saw the fleece with cars all over it he chose that instead and said he wanted to make pants for Edward. Then he found a ladybug print that he thought Caroline would like and when we got home he went to work.

Two hours later he had two crazyadorable pairs of elastic-waisted wee trousers. 

Caroline loves hers.

Edward took a little convincing

But eventually agreed.

He's a nice kid and damn is he able to do things with his hands.

+

I know I know... wrapping up.

Patrick and I have narrowed our next audiobook choice down to...

1. Diana Wynne Jones' Chrestomanci series

2. The Charlie Bone books

3. The Bartimaeus Trilogy

Which one do you suggest?

For you: The Septimus Heap series is still our favorite and Patrick is reading the books now because we liked it so much on audio. Really smart, fun fantasy. I loved the Graveyard Book SO MUCH as read by Neil Gaiman - talk about an embarrassment of riches; how can someone who writes so well also be such a talented voice actor? And we are enjoying the Artemis Fowl books (narrated by Nathaniel Parker only. we wound up with one by the other guy and couldn't stand it) very very much.

Comments

[mommymel]

I didn't read all the comments, but look into the flashmaster electronic game/thing. I got it online from amazon. It really help my adhd kid learn the facts and stay on task with doing timed practice. I highly recommend it.

[Sarah]

On the timed test, I worry I'll sound like that Chinese tiger mother woman, but practice tests at home. Patrick can probably got the rest of his life just figuring out the answers each time he needs them (my husband is much better at math than I and he essentially does this). I am a memorizer and just think it is better to have them facts ready. Neither here nor there, but for the sake of getting that check mark of completion in Patrick's school file: Google math facts cafe. Print off test sheet of the right sort of problems. Time Patrick. Repeat 2-37 times (over a week or two) until he can write the answers fast enough to pass the test. When my daughter was in 3rd we did this for about a month. She wasn't writing fast enough and wasn't concentrating. Test taking, while results may be highly overrated, is a skill. It won't hurt Patrick to be able to take timed tests well. Even if he decides to not waste precious brain space with the facts forever.

Love the pants! And the cabbage soup diet is a riot.

[Jan]

Diana Wynne Jones is brilliant. I haven't read choices 2 or 3, however, so can't compare. As a n extension of the psychological trick, you might suggest to Patrick that not having his math facts down cold will compromise his getting into that school -- not just not knowing them but also being unwilling to discipline himself academically. His sewing and design talent is superb!

[Amy]

I LOVE that he made them pants. How freaking adorable is that. My 11 year old and I have read the first two Charlie Bone books and I would call them only okay. I think you can do better, but I'm not familiar with the other two.

[Jenny]

ANYTHING by Diana Wynne Jones is going to be wonderful. I can't think why I didn't think of her for Patrick before. Anything.

[Annie]

Diana Wynne Jones! Diana Wynne Jones! She's one of my favorite authors and I'm 31. You will be so happy when you're done and realize, "wait! there's more of her stuff out there!" and then you'll finish it and you'll be sad.

As proof that I know whereof I speak, I also recommended "To Say Nothing of the Dog," and I recall reading that you enjoyed that a lot.

[Ellie]

Diana Wynne Jones absolutely.

The math, eh. I am not a fan of the rote memorization route to mathematical competence, comfort, and enjoyment. If decent scores are genuinely essential to the system in which he is currently immersed, then yes, I agree with this who suggest bringing sample tests home to work with. As for the school changing/ grade skipping, perhaps when the time comes you'll find that with the twins in school full days, homeschooling Patrick, or enrolling him in an on-line program (there are some fabulous one's out there) for a year or two (or three, until 14/high school) might be an equitable option.

The pants are glorious, how delightful that he has such a skill (that brings him such obvious pleasure).

I second the notion of keeping an eye on Edward for asthma.

The diet .... Hon, seriously? What an extraordinary thing to do. Well, sooner you than I. Then again, the only surefire method of weight-loss I've ever encountered is having a brain tumor. Truth: everyone in my brain tumor support group has lost at least fifty pounds.

I hope your trip goes well, I'm sorry to hear your stepmother has been so unwell.

[Justin]

Chrestomanci! I LOVE Dianna Wynne Jones.
I believe, at the age of 45, I now have most of my times tables memorized.
I also can tell you I'm quite bright and have never had a problem with maths. I can memorize but I hate it and save it for cases of absolute necessity.

[alison]

Math stuff... so I'm really WEIRD with numbers (I remember my BFF's Junior High boyfriend's PHONE number). For me to memorize things like multiplication tables I had to figure out a way to remeber them, rather than simply 3x3=9. For the 24 thing specifically, would it help him to think about why 8 goes with 3 and 6 goes with 4... like the bigger number (8) goes with the smaller number (3). I know I'm not explaining this well. But basically... to really think about the why behind it rather than just straight memorization? Good luck! (We're just working on counting to 10 with my almost-2-yr-old and every number is FIVE. :)

[Amy]

Every time I scan through my blog headlines and I see this one Ramble on Rose starts playing in my head, which makes me smile, so yay for great blog titles. :)

As for the math facts, I wish I had the answer. And I'm a math teacher (currently 6th grade, formerly 3rd, 4th, 5th, and 8th). I still can't figure out how to get every single kid on board with math facts when I want them to be. It's maddening sometimes.

[Kathleen999]

Oh my gosh....I enjoy your blog so much. I just spent 5 minutes laughing my butt off. Caroline is hilarious. So is Patrick. They are all hilarious and love the pants.

You are going to need to develop a wine cellar for Caroline's teens. Start now.

[Abby Spice]

I'm nearly 23. I have not read Chrestomanci in a good...10? 12? years. And those books are on my Kindle list (because now that I can get books cheaply and also not have people look at me funny for reading children's books). That's how fond my memories are.

Also on the Kindle [actually iPod Touch/Droid/computer/girlfriend's iPad when she'll share] list? The complete Wizard of Oz, all 15 Baum books, 97 cents.

And I totally support the occasional starvation week. We do what we gotta do. Everything in moderation. As long as you're not starving yourself (which is totally what you're doing, as you admitted) every week, it can't hurt you. Much. I hope.

[Andrea]

For the math facts we've tried a few things:

1. Let him take his test in the hall to minimize hearing other kids saying numbers and such while they work.

2. Consider test anxiety and the best way to alleviate for him. There's a new study that says allowing kids 5-10 minutes to write about test anxiety will improve scores.

http://www.ctv.ca/CTVNews/TopStories/20110112/write-away-worries-110116/

3. Does he have other difficulties with writing quickly? If so, other accommodations may be helpful.

As far as books, we really enjoyed Charlie Bone.

[JP]

Oh my. It doesn't bother me at all that you have long posts. Bring 'em on! Math games does seem like a great option. And the pants? Fabulous. I am in awe of Patrick's sewing. And the twins are scrumptious!

[Carla Hinkle]

I am a giant ball of fat due to a long, downhill slide of butter-n-booze that started at Thanksgiving and was followed by our holiday party, my birthday, my husband's birthday, Christmas, the baby's 1st birthday, New Year's, and ended with my middle daughter's birthday on January 18. I NEED that week of asceticism. I just went to the store and bought all the necessary food for the cabbage soup diet this morning.

[rupiedupie]

We've settled with being okay about it, when our kids fail at school tasks in elementary school levels.
We follow up with a parent to kid conversation about the what's, why's and how's involved.
Reason out what choices could be made in future situtations.
Leave it up to our kids to make it happen.

Our oldest is in middle school now. Thrilled with the opportunity to achieve on his own merit. He's made honor roll and likes the feel of that.

He TOTALLY bombed a report poster in 4th grade. The teacher called home and wondered what was up with that, as it just didn't meet par for the child. She offered the opportunity to re do the work.
Our kid learned then and there what it felt like to fail...how to own his efforts. He also understood that chances to make up work and be successful happen less and less the older he gets.

Patrick's a smart, smart guy. It would be interesting to hear his take on the math tables story when he is a few years older from now.

GREAT post Julia...
sounded a little Junie B. Jones in parts.
So sorry the twinkles are sick.
Be sure to do a couple of sweet things just for yourself this week to cope.
(I try to squeeze in coffee dates with friends, or an hour of quiet time in the public library or bookstore)

[elana]

the pants are amazing. and i speak from recent experience when i say they are hard to make...that patrick rocks!

[thalia]

Diana Wynne Jones is my favourite author ever, so I am utterly biased. And I've met her, and she is AMAZING so that's another vote for Chrestomanci. And once you've done those, there's the whole Nick Mallory series to pick up (don't start with Deep Secret, though, I'd start with the Merlin Chronicles).

[Christine]

I loathe the new prevnar.

[Melinda]

Do you know how these math tests are being scored? I know nothing about how elementary schools do it these days but when I was in third grade we had "mad minute" math quizzes with (I think) 30 questions in 60 seconds. The problem was that your score ended with the first question you got wrong - so you could have 29/30 correct, but if you got question 1 wrong, your official score was 0. Boy, was my mom ever ballistic when she found out THAT was why my math grades were slipping!

[SarcastiCarrie]

So, the Prevnar 13. It might have a fever as a side effect. Possible. I don't want to be all alarmist or anything...but I'm going to be.

I had a kid who contracted a strep pneumo serotype that wasn't covered by the old vaccine (and is also not covered in the new one). Strep pneumo is bad. Capital D -baD. They wrote a paper about him. One of the vaccine manufacturers asked permission for a sample of his blood and for his cultures. It was bAd. We nearly lost him. When the Prevnar 13 came out, I begged the pediatrician for it because I never, ever want to go through that again. The pediatrician thought about it for a moment and decided that we needed to wait until Bobo is 3 and more out in the world (we had to pull him from day care in the wake of the illness because of the associated hearing loss and speech delay partially caused by the infection).

In summation, Caroline and Edward look pretty pathetic sprawled out on the couch, but I'm glad they got the shot.

[Stacy]

when I had to learn my multiplication facts, my mom had me write them in a blank times table, using graph paper. I did 3 of them a day (up to 10x10) and learned them fast. Sometimes she'd have my little sister sit next to me and pick the order in which I had to fill in the squares, so I didn't get too used to going in order.

I still hate 8x7 though. All the others are fine!

[elsimom]

SPOILER ALERT _ GRAVEYARD BOOK

You know, I really liked the grave yard book, until the end, and then it felt like a search for horcruxes, and therefore sort of derivative.
Also - I cannot abide books with endings that separate children from their only source of support "just because". I call BS. He could have come back to that cemetery for the rest of his life, and nothing bad would have happened. Just because he didn't NEED them didn't mean he wouldn't WANT them from time to time.
Arggh. I Loved most of the book - jut not the ending.

[Peg]

I'd go with the Charlie Bone...Both my boys (10 and 8) love love loved them--I thought they were great too!

[Medley]

I remember those stupid timed math tests. Question: Is it the same test every day and/or a rotation among 2 or 3? Because at one point I ended up just memorizing the order of the answers on the test. Still a memorization task, but struck me even in elementary school how stupid it was.

(Majored in math in college; memorization of the times tables did not help. I remember seeing a t-shirt once for kids that had a times table printed upside down on the front, so the kid could just look down and see it. Cracked me up.)

[Bethany]

Is there a reason why you can't sit in on a class at a potential school for Patrick? This fall when we were looking into what we felt would be the best decision for our 3-year-old when she entered formal schooling, I went to the two schools we were deciding between (both private) and sat in on the kindergarten class (for an hour or two) at one school and got a tour and overview of the other school by the principal. We stopped in that kindergarten class for about 15 minutes and observed the kids and I chatted with the teacher. I had called both in advance and set the appointments up. I figure you should be able to see what you are getting for your money with anything in life. If the schools had been closed-minded about doing such a thing, that would have spoke volumes to me.

I am loving Caroline's hair! Also, prevnar 13 did not go over very well in our household a couple months ago either. You have my empathy!

[~Lucy~]

Ah, so it's not precisely a ladybug onesie but I was right, after all. Just three or so years off.

[Katie]

I have not read the other series you mentioned, but Chrestomanci! My parents read this series to my siblings and I when we were maybe 5, 7, 9 and 11 (long car rides) and we all loooved it. And I reread it all the time growing up. So, so wonderful.

[H]

Patrick's sewing skills AMAZE me. He's so cool!

[Becky h]

Is Patrick writing his math facts at home or doing them orally? Could be what is making the difference, especially if there are any OT/handwriiting issues.

[Little Bird]

Oh. My God. Patrick is awesome! Making pants for his siblings!? That is amazing. He thinks about what THEY MIGHT LIKE!?? This is just so cool!! You have a real winner on your hands! Whatever it is that you're doing, you're doing it right!

[Beth]

I am AMAZED at Patrick making those pants. Incredible!

You write so well...thank you.

[Thumbelina]

Chrestomanci! I love that series...actually I love every thing she's ever written, I just re-read Archer's Goon yesterday actually, you guys should read that :)

[Frances]

I haven't read the other comments, sorry, perhaps I'm saying something that's already been thoroughly thrashed out.

Regarding Patrick and memorizing math facts: Those of us who are sharp little cookies, and can calculate quickly, sometimes avoid actually memorizing the things that we need to learn by rote. Patrick's finger flickering suggests to me that he's doing that (rather than memorizing 8x4=32 he thinks "well, 4x4 is 16, and twice that is, hmmm, 32." Which reaches the right answer, but slows him down).

Right now it doesn't matter much, but as you move along in math, you REALLY DO want to have all the rote facts memorized. It's a huge deficit to keep on using brain space on "Is 8 a factor of 56?" when the real question is "x squared plus 15 x plus 56 = (x+7)(x+8)" true or false?.

One idea is to set the times tables to music, or recite them while you take a walk (pacing in time with them), so that they sink deep into rote memory and are no longer calculated. Memorize them like a poem. It will pay off.

[4katnap]

Times math facts tests are EVIL.

[Rachel]

Oh, the Chrestomanci books! Charmed Life was one of my favorite books when I was a kid. I hadn't realized that she picked the series back up in 2001, but I'm buying the whole series on Amazon right this minute.

As for the timed math test: when I was 8, a so-called genius with an IQ of 170, newly in 4th grade, in an English speaking school from a French one, we had to do timed math tests. These were so scarring that I still remember them now. 100 questions to a sheet, 100 seconds to complete the sheet, 5 different colored sheets to graduate through. I passed addition (white) and subtraction (yellow) and got stuck on multiplication (orange). I never got more than halfway through. Other kids were finishing all five tests and becoming exempt from taking them. It was the only test that I ever had anxiety over and it was the only test I ever took that I tried to cheat. I got caught and had to have a conference with the teacher, my parents and the Headmaster. I was sure I was going to get caned (not knowing that American schools don't hit), but instead they changed the test policy for those of us who were failing. Instead of 100 seconds to complete the page, we got 10 seconds to complete the first line of 10 questions, a few seconds to shake out our hands and breathe and then another 10 seconds for the second line of 10 questions until the sheet was completed (or not). That little change made all the difference. What had weighed on me so hard was suddenly easy, I finished all the rest of the sheets within the month and never had to do them again.

Now I'm an accountant who does trigonometry for fun and who still has to think about what is the product of 6 times 7 and 7 times 8.

[Erika]

Patrick is amazing. I wish I could meet him and hear what he has to say. That kid is destined for greatness.

Edward and Caroline are crazyadorable. I hope you are still blogging when they are teenagers!

And as for the length of your posts... they could be five times as long and I would still be sad when they came to an end. So please don't ever feel like you need to wrap it up... I for one am hanging on every word. I think you are BY FAR the best writer in the blogosphere and have the most amazing children as well. I have 3 boys and if we could have a playdate I think I would expire from the excitement.

[MJ]

Wait - there are snowflake-shaped peppermint patties?

[Korinna]

Your stories and pictures of Caroline (and Edward and Patrick) never stop making me laugh. They are lovely.

[victoria]

You know how John Malkovich seduces Michele Pfeiffer in Dangerous Liasons by telling her that he started to feel actual physical pain every tim she left the room? I am starting to fee actual physical pain when your posts end. I can't stand how freaking cute Caroline is, well, how cute all of htem are. I wish you had them on Flickr updated by the minute.

[Karen]

My girls always got a fever after Prevnar. I was very glad when we finished the series.

Your kids and you are hilarious, as usual, and I would love to meet your mother.

You are so screwed (re: Caroline).

[Davida]

I read what "karen | January 22, 2011 at 09:00 AM" said and wondered about whether Patrick has additional trouble with timed times tables tests (the quad-t, if you will) because of his synesthetic leanings. If I recall correctly, don't letters have color for Patrick (c.f. his halloween costumes)? Anyway, what Karen said about some numbers being friends and some enemies and how this is distracting really sounded like a Patrick-type comment.
Also: down with memorization! Up with understanding!

[Joanna]

Huh. I've read this blog for years, you are so funny. However now that I am aware of how dreadful I, a fat person, looks in capris; to you, at least... Combined with the oh so original "pool toy" comparison? I'm just done. I wish the best for you but wish you'd kept your fat hate to yourself.

[Leah]

Of the three choices I've only read the Diana Wynne Jones books but I remember them being great. I LOVE her book "Witch Week" and have often wished I could prescribe it as a corrective to Harry Potter syndrome--it shows what a *real* British boarding school would look like if infected with witchcraft/wizardry.

[Linda]

Re: The math timed test. Get the exact format he has to work with in class and then drill baby drill. Memorization at that age can be less actual knowledge and more pictorial memory…meaning that he may know 6 X 8 = 48 on a flash card but need to actually think about it and figure it out on a worksheet. Obviously he knows how to figure it out – it’s not the concept that’s the goal with timed tests it’s to actually have those things memorized perfectly so the next step can be learned. I’d say if he knows them on a flash card but can’t pass the timed test he’s just using the wrong part of his brain to pull out those answers. Lovely as being right brained can be, he’s going to have trouble later in more advanced math classes if he can’t make the transition from right brained to left brained thinking…except in geometry – being right brained kicks ass in geometry!

[Lulu]

Earplugs, practice that includes writing down the math facts? Some sort of incentive system for the extra, extra practice? Threatening to let Amy Chua be his math tutor? Have him do some review and then you test him in writing at home--NYT just had an article on how testing as review works better for a lot of people than just review or even fancy/creative-type studying. So, if he doesn't already, can you replicate the kind of quiz/test he has at school and have him do the practice test at home after he reviews the material both written and orally?
Two recent NYT articles on how to best study:
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/09/07/health/views/07mind.html
and
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/21/science/21memory.html

Has he read the percy jackson series--i am too lazy to look back through your posts to see if he has--those are pretty good.

[winecat]

Patrick continues to be amazing, the wee flannel pants TCFW and I CAN'T wait until Caroline (aka Menace Girl) is a teenager. LOL

[Chive]

Chrestomanci!
Ok, so I haven't actually read the others, but I loved Diana Wynne Jones as a kid, and got a new one for Christmas this year. I'm 38.
Are the Mortal Engines series available as audiobooks?

[Andrea]

http://vimeo.com/18694727

Thought this would be right up Patrick's alley.

[Brooke]

I'm stuck on TWENTY OUNCES of beef. That seems like an absurdly high amount, being, as it is, more than a pound.