Lapse

After I finished that last post Patrick went to a swimming lesson and received his mid-session progress report. It duly noted his ability to front float 30 seconds and tread water ditto and concluded with the recommendation that he should enroll next time as a... Minnow.

 A Minnow! My boy Elroy McKilljoy, an intermediate level swimmer. WOW! Patrick was all shrug yeah sure I can totally front symmetrical paddle 25 yards but those of us who lived through the first 2190 days of beginner's class are relieved.

Actually, back up.

Half of us are relieved; feeling that anybody who gets an X for mastering back alternating paddle 25 yards can probably now safely go down a water slide, which is the limit to which we had allowed our hopes to soar. The other half of us are confident that this is but the first step on Patrick's way to ruling Atlantis.

Steve and I - I don't want to say we quarrelled because I would hate to give the impression that a cloud ever mars the sky of our azure love - Steve and I had a loving validation of each other's viewpoints on the subject.

I waved the mid-session report in Steve's face and said something like, thank god Patrick can now swim to the side of a reflecting pool should he ever accidentally fall into one (perhaps during a book release party) and I can finally stop lugging him to swimming lessons.

Steve, looking rugged yet tender, looked up the Minnow class online and said "Are you insane, Fatfoot? Patrick has mastered the basics and now he can start working on his form."

"Form?" I laughed like a thousand angels eating creme brulee. "FORM? Guess what. After watching eleventy hundred swimming lessons I can assure you that your eldest son will never - and I mean never - butterfly anything. OK, maybe a whole chicken. But that's it."

Steve said, "Nonsense. He has the build. Long and lean."

"Long lean and two-thirds osmium. The kid SINKS at 31 seconds. Besides he wants to devote more time to his tumbling."

"Swim lessons take precedence. It's a... ."

"So help me if you say 'safety issue' one more time I will strangle myself with his goggles. We wanted him to be able to play in a pool without drowning and it looks like he can now do that. Besides, he is starting to make progress in tumbling and he really enjoys it. He has asked about moving to two tumbling classes a week so he can improve faster. And you know what I read? I read that the only happiness in life comes from a healthy self-esteem and true self-esteem can only be developed through setting a difficult goal and reaching it. Like mastering a back-flip."

"Or finishing the 200 meter in 1:51:40."

"Bah."

Swimming! Said Steve. Tumbling! Said I.

We asked Patrick what he wanted to do and he said that if it was all the same to us he would like to continue with both swimming and tumbling.  

Ah. Well. OK.

I am not a big fan of the overscheduled child (to be completely honest pre-Celexa I was not a big fan of leaving the house at all) and right now Patrick is on a Destination Imagination team that meets once after school and once on Saturdays, he has swimming on Tuesdays and he does tumbling on Thursdays. I have told him that I will not buy him any more canvas until he takes a proper art class. Not that I don't like what he has painted thus far just... e.e. cummings, you know?

Good lord. I am writing this while Patrick works on some tumbling skills during the Friday night open gym (hence the train of thought) and he just popped up in front of me like Banquo's ghost all covered in blood. Apparently he was trying a flip into the pit and the knee bone connected with the jaw bone; his tooth went halfway through his lip. Poor kid. He just sat next to me drinking cold water for a few minutes and then I sent him back out there. I cannot decide if I am being bracing or abusive.

[Written an hour later]

Survey says... abusive!

Oh my god I feel so guilty. Patrick came back to where I was sitting and he said his lip really hurt, he was done, let's go home, he probably needed stitches, Mom Mom Mom are you there everything is going black and blurry et cetera. In my defense this is his approach to pretty much everything so I didn't take it seriously. In fact I made him wait for a minute before we left so I could finish downloading a systems update on the gym's borrowed Wi-Fi (not only does our home satellite internet SUCK; it limits our downloads to almost nothing - it is bad and we do not get enough of it. Bazooka Joe part 2.)

On the car ride home we started listening to Charmed Life (gasp! so good! already!) but as we turned onto our road I heard the now familiar but totally unexpected sound of Patrick throwing up in the back seat.

* People will give a lot different suggestions when they are asked for The Answer. Douglas Adams came up with 42. Me, I say: Ziploc bags. I have them everywhere, even next to Patrick's seat in the car. 99.9% of the time this is pointless but every now and then...

Anyway he threw up and cried and threw up some more and I tried to soothe him and encouraged him to direct himself toward the Ziploc while driving as fast as was reasonable under the circumstances. 

Did I mention that last week? It was one of his later symptoms, the vomiting. Anyway he was throwing up last week and now he is doing it again and I feel like the world's worst parent because I made him do two backwards somersaults before I was willing to drive him home even though he was talking about his sore lip. I should have been able to interpret that "sore lip" meant he felt Worse.

He's asleep in my bed. I'm worried about him. 

Comments

[Heidi]

I still remember when my mother took my brother and me to a movie she REALLY wanted to see (Sound of Music, I think). He and I were both recovering from stomach flu, but did that stop her? No Ziploc baggie--she just shoved her shower cap in her purse in case of a puke emergency. Same thing a few years later, when we had tickets to the Ice Capades and I was feeling barfy. TICKETS had been paid for, dammit, and WE DO NOT THROW GOOD MONEY AWAY.

Hope Patrick is feeling better soon. We are all pulling for him.

[Linda Roberts]

Oh, it's so difficult. But I can't say anything any better than the others have. Only an idea: Did you wash the fabric(s) Patrick used? Maybe there was something about it that has adversely affected him.

[Denise]

Hm, the first thing I thought was "concussion" too, not because I am an expert on injuries, but because of the black/blurry comments and vomiting episode. I took it as foreshadowing.

I really hope he's doing better soon.

Like an earlier commenter, I've sent my son to school with strep thanks to an atypical presentation (headaches).

[Jil]

even mfb knew that the answer was always 42. hope patrick feels better soon!

[lizneust]

Ugh. I hate that feeling, the constant second guessing - "should I have done this instead of that" or "well, maybe it's not really that serious." I hope he's feeling better really soon and - by extension - you are, too. Sending positive thoughts your way.

I'm the one who insists on the swim lessons in our house. And I have 2 girls who sink like stones and are TERRIFIED of getting their faces wet.

Your ability to tell a story is just tremendous - funny, charming, engaging.

[Erika]

Well, I'm a bit late with the comment (I can only get to a computer at work) but I can definitely understand these moments! My biggest guilt trips were with my first son when he was teething. He would be just generally acting miserable with no real apparent SYMPTOMS, and I would think he was just being a shit, and then after a few days a tooth would pop through and I would feel SO BAD for being dismissive and bitchy. Oh God, the guilt pangs me even now. But we ALL do it, so please, don't beat yourself up about it. (Easier said than done, I know). I think that some people are more sensitive to blood-swallowing than others.

Oh and did SOMEONE leave you a mean comment? UGH! How DARE they? I did not see it, thankfully, but for what it's worth I think that Patrick is absolutely fantastic and I would give a small body part to meet him. I think the sun rises and sets on my children, of course, but Patrick is pretty much the Holy Grail of kids. We all should be so lucky to have a creative genius like him in our midst. I love reading about his quips and foibles, and seeing his craft projects always gives me a thrill! Also, remember when Caroline did that very-scary thing we shall never mention again, and after she was found and safe you mentioned that Patrick was all pale and shaky from worrying about her? It just made me realize how empathetic he is in addition to being so smart and capable. And just as an aside, sometimes I wonder about my oldest's sexual orientation, but I DON'T CARE what it is, I just want him to be happy and accepted and loved and to know that all that is HIS business and does not matter to me or anyone else in the family as we are not going to be thinking about him in that way anyway! And if anyone is worried about a child's sexual orientation, I would worry about their psychological health because what reason is there to care about another's sexual preferences unless you are interested in them? BAH I just hate all the trolls on the internet sometimes, especially when they pick on people like you and your family who I just LOVE and wish so much that I could meet in real life!

OK, so sorry, rant over. I just want you to know that for every one hateful awful person out there, there are thousands more who read your beautiful words and are so thankful that you are willing to share your gifts with us! I love your family so much and I don't even know you. I check your blog FIRST every day, and if there is an update I get excited because I know I will start my day with a great read, and what better way is there to start a day, really? So pay no attention to these fools, because she is more than likely jealous of you because her child is a fat little stupid bully who will not be fit to clean the Port-a-john at Patrick's book signing party!

[JP]

Don't beat yourself up, Julia. We all do the best we can. How's Patrick today? I hope he's feeling much better.

[azita]

oh man, this is like a roller coaster - crossing fingers for you guys that it's nothing and that Patrick will be back to his font-loving ways soon in full vigorous health. also: happy Valentine's day

[Amy]

Hope Patrick is doing better. I'm sure everything is find, and as parents it's hard to be sure we're making the right call. Remember, hindsight is 20/20.

Also, I'm glad the Celexa is working for you. I just started it last week and have high hopes for it.

[Shannon]

My 5 year old son cries over everything so it's really hard to tell when he's really sick or hurt. I've plowed ahead many times when he actually was hurt or ill. Let go of the guilt, it happens!

[Elizabeth]

Welcome (once again) to the world of parental guilt. I hope Patrick is doing better by now.

I hate the times when I was a BAD MOMMY. My youngest, who is now 20, was such a drama queen that I just learned to assume nothing was really ever wrong. This means that when she was about 10 and lying on the ground with a concussion at soccer practice I was standing over her with zero compassion telling her to get over it and get up.

15 minutes or so later it became apparent that she had a vicious headache and a 10 minute memory gap and oops, off to the doctor we go. Sorry I wasn't more sympathetic, dear.

[victoria]

I hope you are not beating yourself up for sending him back for more tumbling. You are a fabulous mom! Your kids are so, so, so blessed to have been born into your family. I mean that sincerely.

[AnnaN]

Please don't beat yourself up over Patrick's tumbling accident. When I was 8 I was trying to walk up a concrete water slide the wrong way, slipped and bit all the way through my lip on the way down. There was blood EVERYWHERE. It looked simply awful, and since my mother worked in a hospital 6 floors above the ER, that's where I ended up and where the doc said, "eh, it's stopped bleeding - no need for stitches. Just try not to smile for the next few days." Told that to my sister who promptly sat on my chest and tickled me until I couldn't breathe and my lip split again. Ah, good times.

So even if you had taken in Patrick, they would not have done anything.

The vomiting however...I just don't know what to say about that. Does it have to do with his previous illness? TOr ther tumbling accident? Or just car sickness aggravated by tumbling accident? There really is no way to know. I guess I would call your Ped's office and leave a message about what happened, tell them you are still concerned and let them make the call of whether or not Patrick needs to pop in for more testing. Poor guy - I hope he is feeling better soon.

[(another Karen)]

I have to say that the only thing that makes me feel a little "better" about suggesting this is that I am, by far, not the first to do so - but I have to admit my very first thought with the vomiting was concussion. Actually, my very FIRST thought was OH MY GOD, PATRICK'S GOT A CONCUSSION!!!!!! But you get my drift.....

hoping all is well again soon a. Please keep us posted,
Karen

[Libby]

"Steve and I - I don't want to say we quarrelled because I would hate to give the impression that a cloud ever mars the sky of our azure love - Steve and I had a loving validation of each other's viewpoints on the subject."

That is the funniest thing I've read in a long time Jules. It's pure gold.

I am worried about Patrick too. I hope he is feels better soon.

[Sarah]

I came by, hoping to see an update on Patrick. I hope he's okay. Thinking of you.

[julianna]

Sending healing thoughts Patrick's way. Please update when you get a chance. I know you are very busy (hopefully with a very healthy and active Patrick), but every day that goes by without an update makes the rest of us more worried, too.

[jen w]

Sounds like possibly concussion from the tumbling accident. almost every time my son is sick with any type of vomiting, he will get better for a couple of days, and then have one last episode of vomiting. Not sure why, but we kind of expect it now. So, the vomiting could have been from the concussion (if he had one) or "leftover" from his illness. I hope he is doing much better now!

[Katerina]

Worried. Update please, please?

[winecat]

Poor Patrick here's hoping that it's not a relapse so he can get back to his swimming, tumbling, whatever makes him happy.

No you weren't abusive : )

[Lisame]

Allmy positive coming your way!