Patrick and his MRI operator showed up in the radiology waiting room about thirty minutes after I left him in the process of becoming the creme center of a very loud, very large metal twinkie.
He said: I WAS holding still. I WAS.
She said: Yeah, I know honey, it's really hard but unfortunately there was so much wiggle that the images we got were pretty degraded.
Then they both looked at me.
I patted Patrick who was tearful and I blinked at her, mostly wondering why she was telling me this. Don't they just try again or something?
No, apparently they do not.
She said that the radiologist would be sending a "limited report" in a couple of days and maybe we can reschedule for another MRI with sedation or maybe our pediatrician will be satisfied with what they were able to get.
The good news is that Patrick was headache-free for five days. The bad news is that he then had another one yesterday. The good news is that it didn't make him throw up. The bad news is that it did make him queasy and sent him to bed. The good news is the radiologist didn't say he'd seen a mass or lesions or obvious brain swelling. The bad news is that I am not certain if he was able to see anything - good bad or indifferent - at all.
I don't understand so I have a call into our pediatrician telling him what happened and asking what we should do.
I'll let you know. I cannot tell you how much I appreciate your support and good wishes and commonsense and advice and prayers and just being virtually here for us.
adding to the chorus of sending patrick and your family only good and healing thoughts and wishes.
Posted by: chiara | March 01, 2011 at 07:12 PM
Oh god, poor Patrick and poor you. Sending good vibes in your direction and wishing for perfect stillness for him next time.
Posted by: gwen | March 01, 2011 at 07:17 PM
Sending good thoughts from Baltimore. Patrick is such a wonderful, brave kid--I hope those doctors figure out what's going on posthaste!
Posted by: Mariya | March 01, 2011 at 07:33 PM
*hugs* and thoughts/prayers. I hope you get answers - at least "good enough" answers, if not anything definitive - soon!
Posted by: parodie | March 01, 2011 at 07:35 PM
oh man. I'm on pins and needles over here and he's not even mine. I can't imagine your anxiety levels right now. Breathe, Mama. And keep us posted. Love and positive thoughts your way!
Posted by: Smumzie | March 01, 2011 at 07:37 PM
Boogers. I really hope that the pediatrician is able to get proactive as a result of this. And it's very good of you to keep us all updated. I've been thinking of you guys all day, and will keep my fingers crossed until further notice.
Posted by: Hermia | March 01, 2011 at 07:42 PM
thinking of you often. hang in there.
Posted by: babelbabe | March 01, 2011 at 07:45 PM
I rarely comment, Julia, but I've been a loyal reader for 4 years. I'm so sorry for your worries and am sending many positive thoughts and wishes your way. You're a wonderful mother and your wee ones are so lucky to have you. Parenting - makes your heart grow ten times bigger and a hundred times more vulnerable. It's going to be ok.
Posted by: Bree | March 01, 2011 at 07:45 PM
Thanks for keeping us updated. Your virtual fans are thinking of you all.
Posted by: Sarina | March 01, 2011 at 07:48 PM
Arrgggh...
Well, hopefully the partial report will be good enough and show no abnormalities and Patrick's symptoms will subside. (Maybe the restful weekend helped him.)
I was guessing that once Patrick was informed about the machine and its operation, he will not be anxious about going inside. Still, he deserves the credit for being mature when scanned, and he should not feel too bad about the slight movements.
Wishing for a full and fast recovery. Stay strong.
Posted by: tgsdmom | March 01, 2011 at 07:55 PM
I feel like sending you my MRI poems but am trying to restrain myself.
It sounds like things are better? Ish? If so. Then very good. No more migraine-y children.
Posted by: nik | March 01, 2011 at 08:00 PM
ARGH! So hard to stay still, and of course, once you're told you can't move, everything starts to itch or twitch, and it's all downhill from there.
Sending good thoughts your way, and hoping that the repeat is smooth sailing.
Posted by: Laurie | March 01, 2011 at 08:00 PM
Arrrrrrgh! How terribly annoying. I'd ask your ped about the sedation, too. Maybe have him/her call and talk to the MRI people and have some plan in advance. It seems like a children's hospital (it was one, wasn't it?) should have this down by now. I can promise you that very few children that age can hold "completely" still. :-p
I'm with the liquid valium and then taping or strapping people above. Make sure he's very sleepy on the way in and it should be fine.
Posted by: Jen | March 01, 2011 at 08:06 PM
Hugs to you and Patrick, thinking good, healing thoughts for you.
Posted by: Erin | March 01, 2011 at 08:07 PM
Oh dear, I hope the pedi can give you some more clear information soon. Thanks for the update. I am thinking about you all the time.
Posted by: lb | March 01, 2011 at 08:11 PM
Oh dear - sometimes it's just never easy. here's hoping that your ped dr. can give you the low down asap.
Still working the positive vibes/prayers route for you.
Posted by: AnnaN | March 01, 2011 at 08:13 PM
How stressful, all of it. Thanks for the update, and hoping for something more definitive.
Posted by: Shelley | March 01, 2011 at 08:13 PM
Oh dear. I'm flabbergasted that a place that does pediatric MRIs doesn't allow at least one do-over attempt! Good grief. I'll continue thinking of all of you and hope you'll be able to post positive updates frequently, but also that you get clear answers soon.
Posted by: Alexicographer | March 01, 2011 at 08:14 PM
I like the title of this post. Nerdy football joke, heh.
Fingers crossed for you guys! Hugs.
Posted by: Margot | March 01, 2011 at 08:20 PM
Thinking of you and that amazing boy of yours. I've lurked for about six years (I have become a mother of two boys and lost my own mother during this time) and maybe commented once or twice. I just wanted you to know that you're both on my heart and I hope they can get him some relief soon. I can't imagine how you must feel. You are very strong and such a wonderful mother. hugs
Posted by: Lisa | March 01, 2011 at 08:21 PM
Delurking to say I'm so sorry and have been thinking of you and your family. Sending good wishes from Wisconsin!
Posted by: Nancy | March 01, 2011 at 08:26 PM
phew. I've been holding my breath today as I imagine you have too (times eleventy million). I hope the finalized report is as good as the preliminary report.
Posted by: Meg | March 01, 2011 at 08:31 PM
Argh! Poor Patrick, I don't know if I could stay still inside one of those things, and poor you relegated to waiting once more. Fingers crossed for a solution and answers.
Posted by: Pam L | March 01, 2011 at 08:35 PM
having just had my first MRI (for a slipped-on-black-ice bum elbow, meaning i was lying facedown like superman with my head propped up on the elbow wrapped in metal meaning my head was like a mini-millimeter from the top of the machine) i so so feel for Patrick. Please tell him grown-ups think MRI's suck too, and even taking deep breaths can piss off the attendant and machine.
deep breaths for the momma and family. keep advocating for your child - you're the mom, you know him best.
an infrequent commenter, but frequent reader and constant fan of you and yours,
amy
Posted by: amy | March 01, 2011 at 08:53 PM
Oh man, I am thinking about you a lot. Hardly comment but read avidly. Hugs from me.
Posted by: jv | March 01, 2011 at 08:55 PM
Reading these comments makes me surprised I stayed still for my brain MRI back in grad school. I kept thinking I was going to sneeze, but I think that was just the pressure of keeping my head still. And there was a cage over my face, so I thought that if I did sneeze then my face would press into this wire cage ... and then I was wondering if anyone else had ever sneezed in there.
I remember feeling similtaneously relieved and disconcerted to read "brain: normal" on the report. Really? I was kind of thinking they must've screwed up the test b/c this brain is clearly one of a kind, right?
I feel like Patrick is probably fine. I really do. I wouldn't be surprised if he suffers from migranes. Are you using anything new in his room (cleaners, toys, etc) that could be triggering this at night?
Posted by: Juliag | March 01, 2011 at 09:16 PM
I am delurking to say I am praying/wishing/hoping/supporting/sending good energy through the interwebs, even as an anonymous reader.
Hang in there.
Posted by: Brianna | March 01, 2011 at 09:30 PM
Hugs, prayers and good juju for you and Patrick. Not knowing is the absolute worst. :(
Posted by: Jenny Greene | March 01, 2011 at 09:34 PM
I'm going to give you totally unsolicited advice, but having gone through "sedation," I'll advise you to get IV sedation. The hydrochloride whatever stuff does not work on anyone older than 8 mos. Good luck!
Posted by: Craftyashley | March 01, 2011 at 10:09 PM
Ah hell, I am sorry. I hope that if he needs a second one, he gets the sedation...
Posted by: Spacemom | March 01, 2011 at 10:11 PM
Another infrequent (possibly never?) commenter letting you know I'm reading and thinking good thoughts for Patrick and your whole family. How frustrating it must be to have less clarity after the test than before, I hope your pediatrician can get things sorted out. And that Patrick's as headache-free as possible until they are. Poor kid.
Posted by: XinaS | March 01, 2011 at 11:22 PM
Poor guy and poor mama! MRIs are scary for anyone! I'm really surprised they didn't sedate him, even a little. With my daughter's MRI (granted, she was 3), they put her out completely.
Posted by: Linda | March 01, 2011 at 11:27 PM
Adding my good thoughts and well wishes to the bunch.
An unsedated MRI is really hard at this age, I'm surprised they didn't give you an option for sedation.
Limbo is just another circle of hell, I hope you get some answers really soon.
(Psst... I just put up a giveaway for a $50 gift certificate - swing by my blog for a chance to win.)
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Posted by: Robin from Israel | March 01, 2011 at 11:43 PM
How frustrating. Hope Patrick stays mostly headached free and that the doctors bring you good news soon.
Thinking of you.
Posted by: grace413 | March 01, 2011 at 11:51 PM
Well, crap. I'm sorry it didn't work. I'm curious. . . does the imaging center not allow parents in the room during an MRI? Or did Patrick want to go by himself? He's a brave kid to go through that on his own.
Posted by: Lise | March 02, 2011 at 12:29 AM
I hope this gets sorted out very quickly - poor Patrick! Thinking of you.
Posted by: Annalien | March 02, 2011 at 12:29 AM
The tech may have already tried very hard for a while, what a shame, they should have sedated him at the begin with. Sorry that you both have to go through this, probably again. Fingers crossed to wish Patrick not experience any more headaches.
Posted by: yasmina | March 02, 2011 at 12:33 AM
Awww, I'm so sorry you are all going through this--sending you lots and lots of support.
Posted by: Lara | March 02, 2011 at 12:45 AM
Oh, how very frustrating. (And yet not totally unpredictable. You'd think the pediatric center would know better.) I hope you will persist with trying again for an MRI. I am not a big fan of unnecessary CT scans, since they really use an amaaaaaazing amount of radiation compared to a simple single X-ray. (I did some research when one doc sort of off-handedly requested CT scans on both our boys' heads. At first I was saying, yeah, sure, but then I read a couple of studies on CT scans and children's heads and concluded: No thank you!)
Anyway, we are all out here keeping Patrick and your whole family in our thoughts. Keep your chin up, gal.
Posted by: Hetty Fauxvert | March 02, 2011 at 01:15 AM
MRIs are horrible things. Just the noise makes you twitch! If another is needed perhaps sedation would be the best option although I'm hoping they have enough information from this one to give you a diagnosis.
Will keep up the positive thoughts ;-)
Posted by: sharon | March 02, 2011 at 01:40 AM
my two year ld had an MRI last fall and she was sedated - because we also had dental work done they chose to dadte her with a general instead of "conscious" but either one is the standard of care for kids at my local pediatric hospital. Defeinitely agree with the commenter who said don't let your insurance pay if they should have known better. And hang in there!
Posted by: GingerB | March 02, 2011 at 01:41 AM
Thinking good thoughts for your family and for Patrick... Hoping for a quick recovery so he can get on with the more important businesses of learning, building, and pants-making!! Keep that deep breathing going, Julia, you are a great mom and a wonderful writer too.
Posted by: Lisa | March 02, 2011 at 01:46 AM
I'm sorry, Julia. That sucks.
A friend whose son has a benign brain tumor has taken him for frequent scans. She swears by light sedation.
I hope this is behind you VERY SOON.
Posted by: Jody | March 02, 2011 at 03:01 AM
Poor both of you. For what it's worth, I (as an adult) had to have an MRI redone because the images were degraded; as a chronic claustrophobe, it was the worst thing imaginable. The second time I took a Valium, lay still and giggling, and the images were fine. I'm sure your paed will be straight onto this; he sounds like he's really, really taking it seriously. Hang in there, lovely xx
Posted by: Sarah | March 02, 2011 at 04:25 AM
I wish to share a personal story in case you consider having CT done.
Years ago my son injured his head (it was during a tag game, very dramatic and bloody case that required 14 stitches). He did not have any brain injury or even concussion symptoms. However, after about a week he started complaining about repeated headaches. I set an appointment for a Neurologist, but it was about a month away, so I took him to the ER... He had a CT scan done with normal results. When our appointment with the Neurologist arrived, the Neuro. was quite furious. He said there was no reason to expose his brain to so much radiation - about X100 more than a regular X-ray. He said, if anything, MRI could have been used instead...
BTW, son is well now with no headaches or other symptoms. Only a huge scar under his hair.
Posted by: tgsdmom | March 02, 2011 at 05:10 AM
Ugh! I'm so sorry that didn't work out the way you'd hoped!
One bit of advice (assvice :P ) -- when you get the results from Patrick's doctor (if the results were readable), request a copy. Then, make sure they send them to the neurologist as well if he'll be going to one. I say this because I had an MRI done back in '04, they sent the results to my physician who called me and said, "Everything looks great, nothing to worry about." Fast forward to 2 years later when he finally refered me to a neurologist and I'm sitting in his office and he FREAKS out over the results of the MRI I had 2 years before with no follow up CT because, and here he shows me the paper that clearly states "obvious abnormalities on -- insert brain mumbo jumbo I didn't understand here."
He sent me down for a CT immediately. Thankfully the lesions on my brain are scar tissue... but my doctor had no way of knowing that.
So yeah... just make sure you have a copy of those results for yourself!
Posted by: Rachel | March 02, 2011 at 06:43 AM
HELLO that's why they're supposed to drug him out of his mind, wth???? Arrggghhh that's so frustrating, I'm sorry to hear you're still back at square one. (((Patrick and Julia)))
Posted by: Clarity | March 02, 2011 at 06:48 AM
Oh you poor lovely. Sending out lots of good thoughts your way from across the pond, from a long-time reader, and very infrequent commenter.
On the MRI - I had my first ever one last summer and it was awful, with hindsight I wouldn't hesitate to recommend sedation to anyone. On the sedation note my 3 year old (now 4.5) had to be sedated at hospital when he lost a fingernail, and I was worried, but actually, whilst he steadfastly refused to doze he was very chilled, very still and calm (although they were showing him Toy Story 2 and he began slurring and giggling as if he was drunk about there being "2 Buzzes"). The sedation really helped - he dozed a lot afterwards. Sedation compared to a general anaesthetic was infinitely preferable.
Thinking of you, Patrick (who is always so entertaining when I read about him) and the rest of your family.
Posted by: Amanda | March 02, 2011 at 07:37 AM
sending prayers and hugs to you & Patrick
Posted by: Beth | March 02, 2011 at 08:11 AM
oh dear. poor patrick. i don't know why they don't just start off with sedation, especially for kids.
this sucks. hoping the good news begins to outweigh the bad rather immediately.
Posted by: amanda | March 02, 2011 at 08:30 AM