Oh Really Aurelius

Steve and I have a mixed faith marriage: he believes in duct tape and I believe in everything else (except maybe dinosaurs but let's not start on that again; it will only upset you. although... dragon bones - just saying it's possible.)

One of the notions in my extensive catalog of beliefs is the concept of luck. I think some people are more naturally fortunate than others and I think some periods in everyone's life are more inclined toward good things happening than bad. Some days you find five dollars, win a dog show and succesfully use the Heimlich maneuver to save the life of a grateful billionaire; a week later you push the lever down on the toaster and your refrigerator explodes. Steve thinks this idea is bunk. Balderdash. Humbug, fustian, claptrap, hogwash and romantical nonsense. He fails to believe that disparate events can influence each other in creepy cosmic ways and he has made one or two pointedly complimentary remarks about the Victorian era when it was so easy to get a wife committed.

So be it. In deference to his feelings I will not go all First Witch here - muttering darkly about inescapable fates - and I will simply say that after an absolutely lovely visit with my family we've had quite a run of... random occurrences of a less than positive nature.     

Misrandoms #1 - #7 within 48 hours

The utility room in the basement filled with water, soaking parts of the carpet and destroying Steve's collection of moving boxes (I was less than heartbroken about that one - we've been giving house space to these boxes for THIRTEEN YEARS. when I have pointed out that we are unlikely to move any time in the next decade, Steve has said "Do you have any idea how much it costs to buy boxes from a moving company?" Whatever. They've gone to a Better Place and I no longer have to look at them and wonder how much of my stuff they'd be moving to the nursing home.)

Steve decided the flood was above his pay grade so he called in a plumber who determined that our water softener had failed in multiple ways - first the overflow overflowed and then the backup failed to backup. A couple of hundred dollars later it was fixed, Steve pulled up parts of the carpet and we had heaters running to try to dry it all out.

Then it flooded again.

Then my sister-in-law reported that we had water coming up through the drain, filling the tub in the downstairs guest bathroom.

Then water filled the room where the electrical panel lives and the water... smelled funny. YOU KNOW. Like the worst possible funny you can imagine happening to a place where you like to hang out? THAT.

So we called the plumber and he referred us to a drain guy who came and referred us to yet another plumber. We also called our insurance company who sent a couple of guys out to take a look at the mess and promptly starting ripping up our carpet and slathering everything else with chemicals.

Meanwhile Steve went to Home Depot to get... something... and he called me from the road to report that our second car has just developed a spontaneous nervous tic: when you lock the doors the car alarm goes off. Every. Single. Time.

I hung up with Steve and found Patrick hovering next to me.

"What's your problem?" I asked, somewhat irritably as I did the math on a car that screams all the time.

Patrick responded by bursting into flames.

Ohhhhhh the poor kid has another fever. Whoops. Also, damn it. Also, sorry, bunny. 

- Total aside but Patrick has a cold/virus/whatever and the Flonase is not as effective as we had hoped at keeping his sinuses unclogged. Since part of his nonsurgical release from the ENT was predicated upon the hope that he would not succumb to another infection within two weeks of getting rid of the last one I felt the call for desperate measures. You should have seen me in my bathroom last night trying to convince a bleary Patrick that using a Neti Pot is really not like drowning. The water flows right through, I kept saying, all chipper, and in a sense this is true but in another more real sense a child might panic and inhale and exhale all at the same time until water shoots out of everything but their ears and they choke and make pointedly complimentary remarks about the Victorian era when it was so easy to get a mother committed.

Eventually we figured out that the best way for Patrick to irrigate his difficult sinuses is for him to hold his breath, tilt, pour, stop pouring, breathe, snuffle and repeat.

Holding his breath was key - just in case you need to try to help your eight year old use a neti pot -

Where was I? Right. This morning.

So Steve had a meeting and was running late. Steve hates to be late. It makes him frantic unless it is two in the morning and he is out with the guys and he has told me that he will be home by midnight in which case being late doesn't bother him in the slightest 

[True story:

Steve and his pals went out one night when I was X pregnant with the twins. He said he'd be home by eleven. At midnight he called and said that they had been having drinks across the river but were driving toward home as we spoke. TWO HOURS LATER I had created a fully detailed plan for how I would manage as a widow with a kindergartener and newborn twins and he finally poured into the bedroom. When I acidly reminded him that he had claimed to be on his way home hours before he said actually what he had said was that they were pointing toward our town and it was true. They were heading toward home up until the time they had stopped at another bar.

I said it reminded me of the Clinton's definition of sex and he said I'm kinda tired right now and I said would you like to hear my definition of sex and he said do you mind if I just close my eyes here on the floor and I said NEVER AGAIN, that's my definition and he said zzzzzzzzzzzzz]

Anyway Steve was freaking out in the garage and he asked if I could hand him his cell phone. The twins were also freaking out because someone was leaving in the car without them so I opened the door just wide enough to extend my arm through the crack while I held the twins back with my leg. Steve grabbed the phone, said, oh I need my boots and barreled like a rottweiler on a mission through the door I was holding open. The corner of the door snagged the edge of my big toenail and ripped it right off. Right off. As in, two words: bloodied stump.

Steve looked horrified. Caroline wept. Patrick said oh gross and Edward kissed me lovingly on the ear. Then Steve raced off, Caroline continued to weep, Patrick disappeared and Edward asked if I could help him get a little breakfast.

So to recap: Sick kid, basement flooding with unspeakableness in a situation that we have now determined was caused by not one not two not three but FOUR separate malfunctions, car alarm going off every few minutes and my once broken poorly healed toe is now missing a nail - it's the only part of me that looks like it could play professional hockey.

Steve can clutch his duct tape all he likes but I say we are having a run of bad luck. A doomed period if you will. I would not get on an airplane or invest in a franchise cookie stand right now if you paid me and I'm not kidding.

Do you believe in luck? Lucky people, unlucky people, fortunate times, unfortunate times? We have a side of the family that seems to be plagued by the worst things - cancers and bankruptcy and more cancer. They are the nicest people and all these awful things happen... it just seems like they have a disproportionate share of grief in their lives.  

PS Speaking of bloodied stumps I was so charmed by your responses to my question about the fairy tales. You guys really do run the gamut and every time I think I have solved one of life's mysteries to my satisfaction you come along and show it to me in fifty hundred new ways. It is my absolute favorite part of writing this blog. My assumptions get challenged every freaking time and I think oh wow that IS a new perspective. In retrospect I think I was more startled than anything by the decapitated wolf and after I read your comments I did release my pearls and wonder what - exactly - I thought Caroline and Edward would get from Grimm. In a pleasant blog-meets-life moment my mother arrived the day after I posted that last one and at some point she was left to entertain the twins, which she did by poking around the bookshelf. When I came home she immediately mentioned the Cousins book and laughed over it. I asked if she had read it to Caroline and Edward and she said yes. I said, "In its entirety?" and she said, "Of course."

She added that she did make the deaths sound less interesting than the other parts but other than that... she said that Caroline and Edward are three, they could not have cared less about the wolves headless or otherwise and then she gave me a look which nicely encapsulated kids-today-with-their-hothouse-parents-I-swear. I wouldn't have been surprised if she had told me that when we were little my brother and I had actually been held captive in a gingerbread house for six weeks - very common in the 70s - and we turned out just fine.

PPS Luck? Fate? Discuss. I love it when you talk to me.

PPPS I don't care what anyone says. I am excited about the royal wedding. I think it's romantic and she's lovely. So there.

Comments

[Cris]

Oh! I'm excited too! But then, I was about 8 or so when their mother married their (insert your own insult) of a father, and I loved loved loved watching the whole thing.

The real question is whether I am going to watch it with my 7 year old daughter. I think she'd really like it, but she already has a huge princess thing going on and I don't want to influence her too much. After all, my wedding dress (early 90's) was a big poofy replica of Princess Diana's and I didn't realize it until that much later.

Fairy-tales, decapitated wolves or decapitated princesses (Anne, anyone?), can be powerful things.

[Clarity]

I GET THE FIRST COMMENT!!! And all I can think of to say is "Julia I love you but zomg please keep your bad luck cooties to yourself because I prefer my house unflooded and my toes intact." I'd suggest primal scream therapy but it sounds like the car beat you to it so....alcohol?? Copious amounts of alcohol?

[Julie]

I so believe in luck. We've had some really lucky periods, but when the bad luck hits, it always seems to come in droves. I swear bad luck breeds bad luck. Maybe that happens with good luck, too, but with good luck it is easier to attribute it to something else (cleverness, hard work, etc).

I am ashamed of how excited I am of the royal wedding. I was so happy to find my husband had to travel this week, so I could get up at 4am without being mocked, and when he came home Friday night, I could go to bed early claiming to be exhausted from the week of single-motherhood. Alas, he switched his flight to late Thursday night instead. Damn bad luck. But I'll still watch the wedding. I can not wait.

[Mert]

I like to say I don't believe in 'luck' or fate....but I do notice the 'things run in threes' phenonenom (sp?). Whether it's bad (usually) or good (unlikely), once they start, it goes until three! So I'm a skeptical believer in SOME things? I'm no help at all. I also don't like the 'controlled by the tides' and such, but people do really get freaky around a full moon. Work in a hospital-it is very obvious!!

[Lora]

I do believe in a certain of luck/karma/whatever. There was a 4 month period in 2009 when my father-in-law died, my own father spent a week in a coma and almost died, my dog died (true story, not a bad country song!), and I almost died. Let's just say luck was very much not on our side that year.

[Wyndes]

I personally like to believe that the kind of luck you're having is protective luck. Those floods in the basement? Protection against the house burning down and killing everyone inside. Car alarm? Protection against car crash. Toe nail? Protection against falling down the stairs and breaking a luck. Little bad lucks are always good lucks in disguise.

If I was married to your husband, he'd probably have had me institutionalized by now. :)

I think it's a family trait: when my dad had a heart attack, my mom said "Aren't we lucky we were at home." Cancer diagnosis? "But it's a good kind." Car accident resulting in traumatic brain injury, "At least he's alive." Out-of-wedlock, unplanned pregnancy, "Good genes, anyway." Car accident? "I never liked the color of that car, it'll be nice to get a new one."

My mom can tell the absolute truth in those year end holiday letters and still make it sound good, even when it's actually desperately bad. Because as long as everyone's alive, it could always be worse, right?

[HereWeGoAJen]

Ha. Do I believe in luck? Well, NORMALLY I have very good luck. (And my husband doesn't. He also believes in luck. But, in a TWO WEEK PERIOD last month, our baby died, my husband's back went out, our credit card was stolen, and then our rental house was hit by a tornado. A TORNADO. So yes, I believe in luck and sometimes it is very bad.

I hope your luck turns to good soon. :)

[Angela]

Bad things happen to good people. I think sometimes we make our own luck, good or bad, and sometimes we get trapped in a spiral of negative events which one hopes are followed by a spate of positive ones. Infertility certainly made me wonder, why me? Luckily I went on to have three healthy children. Since then, I've definitely been shocked by some bad turns of events (father-in-law has cerebral hemorrhage and ends up in coma for 3+ years and still is in one, then my husband and I and three kids including a one-year-old born in that house in a lovely home birth get evicted from our rental house because it was so messy because we'd just moved our belongings in from our house in Michigan that took two years to sell at a loss due to the death of the auto industry and the landlord surprised us with a visit and mistakenly thought we had always lived in a pile of boxes for the past year we'd been there.) Seriously, cerebral hemorrhage and coma? Eviction?! That is not what I imagined. But two years later we own a beautiful home and make three times as much as we ever made working for one of the big three. Life is crazy and leaves me wondering what will happen next for good or bad. I'm ready.

[Smumzie]

Ah, glasshoppa - don't you know? Ruck favas the prepayed.

[having passed along that little tidbit though, I cannot see how you could possibly have prepared for all those malfunctions and the toe thing- yikes!]

So, be honest now... *squinty eyes* Who have you screwed over lately? hmmm? Karma out to get you? Maybe you should consider sacrificing small animals under a full moon?

Meh, in the end - if there REALLY is "balance" in this world - then you should be looking forward to several really awesome things coming your way soon!

Good luck! (or should I say, "good ruck?"

[Veronica]

As someone who also has giant runs of bad luck, I believe in it. My grandmother died, my car died on the way to her funeral and my hot water cylinder exploded and flooded my house and then my water pump broke and flooded my house and bad things happen in GROUPS.

My thoughts.

[Audrey]

You poor thing. I especially feel you on the toe because I slammed my finger in a car door last week and broke the nail clean across. Pain, blood, not fun. I hope your luck improves soon, you and Patrick feel better, and that Steve does not find a way to commit you. We would miss your blog posts too much.

Oh, and HereWeGoaJen, very sorry to hear about the loss of your baby.

[Cara]

Oh my. I know this shouldn't be funny, but...

Ahem. Anyway, I guess I kinda sorta believe in luck, but in some ways I sort of believe in duct tape, too. And then, I believe in God and a divine plan that isn't too specific and leaves room for free will, which muddies up the whole luck and duct tape thing. So, basically, don't look to me for any clarity.

Also, if Patrick hates the Neti pot an empty squeeze top water bottle might be easier. I find I can get that through my nose and not back down my throat a little easier, because the tilt of my head isn't all that important. But, tell him not to use pressure. He's just encouraging the water through, not shoving it with brute force.

[Dead Bug]

I am so sorry to hear of your Series of Unfortunate Events (and, yeeeeowch! on the toenail), but I have to say that I'm entirely with Steve on this one. Human beings are innately programmed to look for and seek meaning in patterns--it's one of the cognitive traits that's critical to human development--but that doesn't mean a given pattern is the result of any kind of intent (or supernatural force): "streaks" are absolutely expected. Statistically speaking, it would be much stranger (and completely suspect) if the bad and good were equally dispersed. The thing is, we don't notice when one or two mildly bad things are follwed by one or two mildly good things. It typically takes longer "streaks" to register (many neuroscientists set the number at three).

Hoping your toe and Patrick's poor sinuses both heal quickly!

[Ruth]

Runs of bad luck? Um, yeah ... for us, it was most of 2008-2010. So far 2011 is much better, but it's early days yet (and one of the kids DID just spend some time in the hospital, though she's better now), so I'm reserving judgment. (Judgement? I can't decide which one looks right.)

I am also prone to planning my future without my husband when he fails to arrive as planned. I clearly remember the night I passed a sorrowful hour or so trying to decide if I would move back to Chicago with the kids (closer to family and friends) or stay in New England (no extended family support, but great schools, and they've lived here most of their lives). Foreplanned is forearmed, I say.

I best not mention the Victorian Era and its free-and-easy committal policies to my husband. He might start hankering for the Good Old Days.

[Kate (Bee In The Bonnet)]

I feel that there is sometimes a bit of cosmic malfunction, which the science-y side of me shudders to hear me say. I believe that things are sometimes just too perfectly meant to be for it to all be coincidence, and I also believe that putting crappy energy out there draws crappy energy toward you (not YOU, but me, really). I don't really think that all strings of bad luck are the result of my own misdeeds, but I do think that it's like the idea that once you're struck by lightning it's a billion times more likely to happen again, so-- you got slammed with some serious negative energy and the universe is like, HEY, she's an easy target! Let's heap on the shitty ju-ju.

I'm not sure what the solution is, other than to remember all of the times in your life when things went exceedingly well [I think having three charming children, a handsome husband who only *occasionally* does terribly insensitive things, and an excellent sense of humor (and the ability to write about it and garner friendship and support from utter strangers with it via your blog) sounds to me like a string of things having gone exceedingly well overarching all the shitty stuff].

I feel you on the toe thing, though. That's gross AND painful. Ugh, ugh, ugh.

[rupiedupie]

Luck?
Yes, your luck was hosting well before the fallout.
My brother in law went through a difficult year some time back...and one day while we were talking I blankly blurted out something to the effect of 'How do you know this is the worst thing that can happen to you?' basically getting around to wondering if things COULD be worse. I didn't give it a second thought, but he did. He's a major philosophy kind of guy and he realized that perhaps things could've gotten worse in a lot of different ways.
Your writing is sharp ON POINT this post.
Nothing like a lost toenail to make one beg for a spray can of numbing gel.
So sorry for the shit...as you well know...it happens.
;/

[Ellie]

The events are terrible, the post is the funniest ever, and the comments are the greatest! Small bad lucks protecting from big bad lucks? Neuroscience? New perspectives indeed! I don't dare saying anything about my luck just not to jinx it, I need all the luck I can get with 1 year old twins, their 2 older siblings and my full-time job to feed them.

[Marsha]

I am a lucky person, generally. My parents are less so, and my aunt even less than that. It makes me super sad sometimes but I keep trying to share my luck and have realized that you just can't. Actually, 2010 was a pretty good spell of non-/bad luck and it was enough to last me quite some time, thanks.

We have moving boxes, too. I am not allowed to rid the house of them despite my well-expressed displeasure. Ooooh. Just *thinking* about them as I type this annoys me.

And...the wedding. I cannot wait. I'm allowing my daughter to stay home from school with me to watch. I hope they're very happy.

[Madelyn]

Seeing the dress live as opposed to later online is, for some reason, just vitally important to me. Completely irrational, but I cannot wait. I was nervous walking down the aisle in front of 170 people. Can you imagine the nerves it takes to do it in front of a BILLION?! Talk about needing good luck.

And re luck, I had a suite mate in college that EVERY single time she said, hmm, I'm broke, I could use some money, she would get a care package that included cash from some random relative. It was actually a little freaky. No question some people are luckier than others.

[allison]

Whatever it is, luck or not, I hope that it changes from bad to good very soon. A friend of mine introduced me to your blog, and I really enjoy your writing. I am only posting because I am wrapping up what I thought would be a long sinus infection. One of my students suggested that I put hydrogen peroxide in my ears (like my mom used to do when we were kids, getting out of the pool), to help reduce some of the sinus pressure. It had amazing results! I felt better almost immediately.

I know that Patrick's cold/virus/whatever is so much more complicated than a sinus infection, but if it gave him some relief... I am also paranoid about recommending a treatment such as this as I'm far from a doctor. So, you may wanna check with one of them first :)

Hope things start to look up!

[tuesy]

Thank you for the neti pot advice, as I have a seven year old boy with constant headaches and a brand new neti pot with his name on it. It's our own next step in figuring out his ailment. I'm anticipating fun times ahead with a half drowned kid, so thanks for doing the leg-work, as it were.

[Lawmommy]

Well, I do believe in luck or karma or something. And quite frankly I am appreciate of your decision not to get on an airplane at the moment, because this streak of luck you are having is no good for anyone. ;-p (I do hope it gets better, though.)

[Another Anna]

Officially, I'm rational and cool-headed as they come, but underneath it all, I believe in luck just enough to dread My Comeuppance. I've always been lucky for no good reason, so I figure there's a real doozy looming just to balance things out.

So, universe: I'd like to forfeit my continual good parking places and no hangnails and serendipitous reunions and suddenly clearing weather if it will get me a blanket exclusion from Sudden Loss of Loved Ones. Because that's how it works, right?

And now I really regret committing that to text, because that's how they get you (The Monkey's Paw, anyone?). So, yes, apparently very superstitious.

[Sara]

I too have what "normal people" might call an odd set of beliefs. They run inline with things you have mentioned already... exactly HOW can one believe in dinosaurs but NOT dragons?? Im just sayin'.... Stay off of planes for a while love... its a good idea.

[Marti]

My late father, who had a long history with depression, bad luck, and good luck, told me this story on my wedding day. Long story (sorry!), courtesy of Anthony De Mello:

"There once was a simple farmer who lived and struggled alongside his neighbours and friends, trying to exist and fulfil a peaceful life. One day news arrived from far away, that his old loving father had died. His neighbours gathered to grieve, but the farmer simply said, “Bad luck? Good luck? Who knows?”

In time relatives brought a very fine horse of great cost and fine breeding, left to the farmer by his father. All the villagers and neighbours gathered in delight with him to celebrate his good fortune, but he just said, “Bad luck? Good luck? Who knows?”

One day the horse escaped into the hills and when all the farmer’s neighbours sympathized with the old man over his bad luck, the farmer replied, “Bad luck? Good luck? Who knows?”

A week later the horse returned with a herd of wild horses from the hills and this time the neighbours congratulated the farmer on his good luck. His reply was, “Good luck? Bad luck? Who knows?”

Then, when the farmer’s son was attempting to tame one of the wild horses, he fell off its back and broke his leg. Everyone thought this very bad luck. Not the farmer, whose only reaction was, “Bad luck? Good luck? Who knows?”

Some weeks later the army marched into the village and conscripted every able-bodied youth they found there. When they saw the farmer’s son with his broken leg they let him off. Now was that good luck? Bad luck? Who knows?"

And I try my very best, but it can be MADDENING. It means putting ones arms around "not knowing". And people, I think, REALLY want to know. Religion and superstition give the illusion of 'knowing," and, Sweet Georgia Brown, is that comforting.

Your poor, poor toe! What on earth did you do for that - ice? Wish I knew something wonderful to suggest for Patrick. My best advice is to make sure he's drinking a large-ish cup of water every hour. Water can be a cure-all. Good luck!

[Pam L]

I believe in serendipity and coincidences. I also believe that if you are counting and making lists you can sting together several incidents and say you are doomed, or blessed, but really, they are just the result of odds. Sometimes things run together, sometimes bad things, like what has happened with you. I also believe that people are much more likely to remember the bad things happening close together than the good things. Seriously do you say to yourself; " remember the other day when I tripped but DIDN'T drop the casserole on the floor, the washing machine worked perfectly and did NOT die when full with a load of sopping wet towels etc. etc." No, you forget the good things or the things that didn't go wrong rather quickly. That said, you have had a really stinky, painful, frustrating few days there and I would say the odds say you should be good for a while.

[Pam L]

Oh, and I am not a huge fan of public weddings but I will just be happy to see Kate in something other than that blue wrap dress finally.

[rupiedupie]

Well said Marti...
And after what I posted, I backread all so far and felt, FELT, for the posters who've shared such incredibly heartbreaking woes. I'm sorry if I sounded flip.

[jen]

I am not a Royal Wedding fan (but being a republican (not that kind) living in a former colony I have Royal issues and I am sick of it being on the telly all.the.time) or a believer in luck, but I do love your blog awfully much.

My mother always tells me that I was born lucky (tale end of the year of the dragon or some such) and it irks me a bit as if none of the things that turned out nicely had anything to do with me ;)

[christina]

I honestldDon't know what I believe some days.I do agree that humans tend to remember the negative rather than the positive and there have been several studies regarding this and how this is how our brains work . 2009- 2010 not such great years, but I was also very lucky. Got pregnant first month of trying, two months later my mother died. Had a beautiful healthy baby boy in 2010 but three days after his birthI suffered a massive stroke. 50percent of people with the type of stroke I had die . I survived with major physical deficits but I am alive and slowly improving . Two months after spending two months in the hospital my father diedquite suddenly and I had three bouts of a bacterial infection from being in the hospital. Bad luck or karma I don't know. But as my physical therapist told me yesterday . Ok enough with the suffering Job. I concur.

[Kristin]

re the PPPS: I've already ordered my Princess Torte from Wuollet's for Friday that will say "Congratulations William and Kate". Can't wait!

[Sarah]

Wishing you good luck RIGHT NOW.

Also, point Steve to www.uline.com where he can buy all the moving boxes his heart desires for very, very cheap. Also, duct tape.

You can also remind him that piles of cardboard are an invitation to nest for mice, bugs, and all kinds of nasties.

[Nell]

My mother-in-law believes luck (both kinds) runs in threes, and I always find myself counting runs of luck.

The story Marti mentioned above is from a Chinese text that is a couple thousand years old, and is one of my favorites. A children's version of it is told in Zen Shorts.

[Heather]

Oh yes I believe in luck. When I had a c-section they wanted to take off my silver braclet that says "LUCKY", but there was NO WAY I was going to let them.

[Brandy]

Good Lord YES, I most definitely believe in bad luck. I hate it and have it regularly. And it never, EVER hits with one thing. It hits with the check engine light coming on, the garage flooding, my husband breaking his pinky toe, ants invading my house, and the garbage disposal dying. All in the last two weeks. Ugh.

[Elsha]

I totally believe in streaks of luck-- good and bad. In 2009 I got laid off at 14 weeks pregnant, our dog died, we had to move in with my parents while our house sat on the market in another state, and both our cars broke irreparably (without any crashes even) and all that happened in like 4 months. It was not the best of times.

[Channa]

I'm agnostic about luck. But I don't think your hurt toe (ouchouchouch) is part of a bad luck streak: it sounds to me like the typical sort of accidental injury that happens when you are under a lot of stress from other bad things happening. Like last year, when, while freaking out over the phone (while driving) to my husband about 17 unexpected guests and the house overrun with ants, I rearended another car. That's not bad luck (though the fact that the driver was a real jerk was) - that's stress inviting more stress.

[Hetty Fauxvert]

I do believe in luck, but also in karma. (I think the karma tends to be more all-inclusive ... this probably does not involve broken water heaters so much as being born into a family full of unhappy, wretched people or some such.) But we had a small run of bad luck a few years ago. First our favorite cat got ill and died very suddenly. A month later (almost exactly) my husband's mother died of an oral squamous cell carcinoma she had been battling. One mohth later, another of our cats died, ALSO of squamous cell carcinoma. It was a rough three months. I hope you have now RUN OUT of ways to be unlucky!! :)

As for poor Patrick (and Oh! how I sympathize with him about the Neti pot -- I HATE water up my nose!), perhaps you have already mentioned this but have you had him checked for allergies??? I was constantly ill from about age 14 till 21 (terrible sinus infections -- blacking out whenever I went up stairs because of pressure from the infected sinuses, etc.) and nothing got it under control until I did specific allergy testing and then took the desensitizing shots. The shots fully kicked in a couple of years later and the f***ing sinus infection FINALLY went away, and I felt like a new being. I hope you can soon find and cure the source of Patrick's troubles!

[Heather g]

I don't believe in luck apart from the lucky/unlucky hand you get dealt with at birth, your parents, your social class, your IQ, your looks, your disability etc. So I believe luck influences your life but not is some weewah kindof way.

I am also looking forward to the Wedding.

Sorry to read about the "statistical cluster" of bad things in your world.

[Cathy]

For nose rinses, we've been using the Nasaline Junior for years. It looks like a syringe, but with a big bulb on the end. I think my son liked it because it gave him control of the pressure and amount of saline coursing through his sinuses. He started using it when he was four. He now switches between that and the Sinus Rinse (NeilMed) which is a squeeze bottle. I ordered the Nasaline on-line from National Allergy.

[Debbie in the UK]

Can I just say that I am SICK TO DEATH of the bloody wedding. It's all we have heard here in the UK for months.

That said, on Friday I will be watching it and we are having a good, old fashioned, street party with bunting and everything !!!

How exciting !!

[Amy]

Of course the Royal Wedding is exciting. And extremely romantic. I will probably not watch the wedding, something about working outside the house and small children, but I will catch all the pictures and details on the gossip sites.

Also, I totally believe in luck and fate. Like my children seem to always get sick over holidays and vacations. Also (knocks on wood) I have a purse fairy or Angel. Seriously. I once left my purse at a bus stop in downtown Seattle, which was located over a bridge where homeless people gathered. I realized it two stops later, and didn't get back to the bus stop for an hour. It was gone. However, when I asked a man there if he had seen it, he told me he had and had taken it to a Church a few blocks away. The Church was in the process of trying to figure out my phone number so they could call me. Not one thing was missing.

I hope your string of bad luck finishes soon. How is Patrick doing? How was your Easter?

[Olivia]

Luck? I don't know...I do think some people have bad luck, but good luck is something more self made. Which doesn't make sense at all, except that I have been told by friends that I have a charmed life, and I don't like that. I want credit for the hard work and good decisions I've made to create this charmed life. (I'm not a lottery winner or anything, just the usual happy marriage, good job, healthy kid)

I am, however, totally going to use the "hold your breath" neti pot trick for myself. I always feel like I'm drowning and it inevitably runs back down my throat. Maybe holding my breath will do the trick.

[SarahB]

Oh my goodness, your toe! I almost screamed and threw up just reading that sentence, and I can only imagine your response. Yikes.

I'll have to try that trick with the neti pot. I never can seem to get it right.

On Luck: I very much agree with you. We had some friends just go through a spasm like this. And I've had smaller ones occasionally. Bad things do seem to come in threes (or sevens) and it all compounds to make one's head explode. Or, toenail as the case may be.

[TeacherMommy]

I shouldn't believe in luck, what with actually having some God-oriented faith and all that, but I do. More so the negative kind, as in "With my luck, [insert general catastrophic potential here] will happen." I figure if I expect the worst, I'll be pleasantly surprised if it doesn't happen.

That being said, while we are paying for the indoor chapel and simply keeping in mind the option to upgrade to the garden the morning of the wedding, I really do want to have an outdoor wedding in a garden by a lake. However, the chapel is lovely should the Michigan elements decide that August would be nice if it was soggy.

Oh, right. Did I mention that I'm engaged and getting married in less than four months time?

Sometimes fairy tales DO come true. Hopefully, in this case, without decapitations.

[carosgram]

First, because I am a grandmother and just can't help myself, I told you so about the fairy tales. I don't know if you would call it luck or karma but I believe in signs. If I don't find a parking place within 8 spaces to the door, I just go to another store. I know I won't find what I want anyways if I go in there. It is a sign not to shop there that day. If I am having a particularly difficult time accomplishing a task, I take it as a sign I shouldn't do it. If things go easy I take it as a sign that this was meant to be. So far it is working for me. My children also believe in signs. I do believe that something (God, the Universe, etc.) wants good for all of us and we just need to listen to what it is trying to tell us.

[Ami]

Thanks for this lovely pick-me-up on a bazillionth-raindy-day-in-a-row. I was laughing out loud several times. All of which is not to say I don't feel for you and your bad luck.

I have often thought that some people really do seem to have a dark gray cloud that follows them around and then unleashes the torrent at the worse possible time. I had a friend in college who was trying REALLY hard to make something of his messed up life (lived at an orphange b/c his dad died and his mom was an alcoholic), had a scholarship, studied really hard, could NEVER get the classes he needed, had his bike stolen on test day, someone spilled juice on him the day he had to give a speech, etc. So my point is, I kind of agree with you. Although I think duct tape has his place too. I am a practicing Catholic (and a Democrat, go figure that one out), but also a human with experiences to inform me. Also, we are firm believers in Murphy's Law at our house, and if we're running late somewhere but hit a run of green lights, if anyone dares to say "Hey, we're making good time thanks to all these green lights" they are thoroughly and rightfully castigated. (In fact, at one point both my children believed murphy was a real person controlling random things like stoplights and sales and coupons and car repair shops).
Here's hoping your toe heals quickly, this is a SHORT run of bad luck for you, and then every time you look at the miracles of Edward and Caroline you bask in the glory of that goooooood luck.

[AnnaN]

I don't believe in good luck or bad luck. Life is all about good and bad experiences and almost all of them are driven by our choices and action. Sometimes these experiences clump together and give the appearance of streaks. (I do, however believe in Felix Felicis :D)

As for your torn off nail - OW! And if I may channel my mother for a moment: "what were you doing in the garage in bare feet?!"

Heh.

Seriously though, I hope it heals quickly and without too much discomfort. Wine might help; I find that it has lovely restorative properties.

[Katherine]

There is a fantastic product at cvs or walgreens or probably even target called "Little Noses Saline Spray" made for inserting into small noses and spraying with saline. I can get my 8-year-old to Neti, but if he's feeling really grim, I use that, because it's faster and not as much flow at once and less messy, but still gets the ook out.

[Kizz]

I do believe in luck but you'd probably better put some duct tape on that toe.