Preschool Let Out For The Summer And No One Was More Surprised Than Me

Robins built their nest on top of one of our front porch columns. There was snow on the ground when they started and the site must've seemed like an excellent one: quiet, no cats, an easy commute to worms. Since then, however, Spring has sprung and Caroline and Edward have figured out how the front door works (turn, push. turn, push. and it works on every door in the house - amazing) and now the Family Robin is feeling shellshocked. Like a couple who went house hunting in August and saw only the silent expanse of playing fields next to the cute house by the school; September rolled around and they're asking themselves from whence in hell came all these children.

I asked Steve yesterday if he had seen the baby birds yet and he said: yes, he had.

I asked him if they reminded him of anything and he promptly said: oh you mean our kids?

I said: yeah, somehow the constant, open-mouthed need and the incessant yeeping seems familiar.

He glanced out the window  and then asked, abruptly: did you know that Caroline is on top of the playset in her ballet leotard?

I said: she's outside??? and that was the end of our nature talk since I had to race out the door to try to talk Caroline down from the top of the swings and then into shoes and pants - not necessarily in that order.

Actually - apart from being repeatedly absent from the house without leave - Caroline has been brainwashed by Kai-Lan and as a result she has become the sweetest thing ever. She's like KoolAid in the 70s made with a cup and a half of your own sugar.

Every time I turn around she has her hands clapsed together and she is saying things like, "We're sorry, Mommy, we didn't mean to make such a big mess" or "It's ok, Eddybear, you can have half of my raspberries." Then she rounds her eyes to improbable diameters and bats her lashes at me. She also keeps holding hands with everybody and saying things are super. Super nice, super exciting, super great. Super super super.

(This will most likely be the first and last time Caroline and Edward are ever dressed to match but Patrick saw the Be Careful I Bite! shirts on the clearance rack at Target and insisted we get them.  Who am I to resist, ehn?)

So Caroline is 103% cotton candy and just when I wonder what happened to the Caroline we know and love she forgets her new super persona and... there she is again.

Something about this picture - not the pink plaid shorts, maybe the sneer - reminds me of CBGBs circa 1985. You look at her and think, "Hmmm. Maybe I should be careful. Maybe she bites."

Meanwhile Endymion here

This sweet boy

has become a maniac. A deranged lunatic. A complete pain in the ass. I finally asked Steve if he thought Edward had been radicalized.

For a week and a half  he has stopped throwing tantrums only long enough to pitch fits. I turned off the TV the other day and he emitted a scream that started at high C and went up and up and up until I thought my ears might bleed. He kicked, slapped, de-boned himself and shouted his outrage in alternating shrieks and bellows. I understood what a Viking berserker looked like. My attempts to soothe fell flat. Ditto my loving firmness. In exasperation I finally asked, "Edward what in the name of the magnificent Ambersons is WRONG with you?" and Edward the literalist replied, "MA EAR HURTH!"

Oh.

The urgent care doctor actually winced when she looked at his ears that afternoon and I think the term "significant" was thrown around - as in: his ears are "significantly" infected. I mentioned - while we were on the subject of my inadequate parental skills - that I had noticed a bit of a wheeze in his lingering cough and she agreed that he might also be nursing a little pneumonia. Since he had just been on amoxillian for his ears a couple of short weeks ago (we assume it failed to clear up the infection and it has been progressively worsening from there) she put him on azithromycin, which doubles as a good lung drug.

He finished that a few days ago and I look forward to the return of my little pumpkinbutter. Obviously he has been sick - not sociopathic - and now that he is feeling better I hope he stops screaming at me every time I open my mouth. It's unnerving and it makes me want to spank somebody.

+

Patrick has been having a rough couple of days at school, largely because he has spent them in disgrace. This surprises me because there are only a few days left but apparently tough love doesn't take a vacation and Patrick's boisterousness has led to his being forbidden to go out to recess. ALL WEEK. Now I ask you - school ends next Thursday. We are having the first warm days in eight months. What could possibly justify such a heinous punishment? Patrick and seven cronies (all boys. watch me fall over in surprise) spent Tuesday through Friday this week sitting on the wall outside while the rest of their class played. I asked if they had murdered someone and Patrick laughed and said no but I am having a hard time imagining what else they could have done. I expect they are spring feverish and disruptive and probably were driving their teacher batty but no recess? For a week? Under the circumstances I think my instinct would be for them to get more exercise not less. I'd have them running laps or something.

Patrick's third grade experience makes me roll my eyes. I cannot fairly say that he has had a bad year. In fact his MAP scores for math went up 28 points between winter and spring, which if you know MAP testing is, like, unbelievable. Once he got his math facts down (and this teacher made it imperative for him to get his math facts memorized. or else) his reasoning skills took over and his math abilities (which have never been shabby) skyrocketed. So, good. On the other hand Patrick got into more trouble this year....

huh

you know I just this second realized that he stopped complaining about being teased right around the time that he started getting skulls and crossbones in his planner for behavior. I... I think Patrick might have consciously Gone Bad. Darth Vader reached out his hand and groaned, "Jooooin meeeee" and Patrick said, "But the rebels... and the Ewoks... and.... oh... OK!" And off he went to get fitted for a respirator.

I basically ignored it apart from saying "Really Patrick? Eight check marks? Really? SETTLE DOWN KID." But since he is a genuinely nice child I didn't harp too much on it. He would talk too much; she'd take away his art privileges and that was that. I don't know. His teacher taught him well and I guess that's what is important but her discipline methods left a lot to be desired. I still cannot believe that these eight boys spent four perfect Spring days watching recess from a wall. Meh.

So I felt sort of sorry for him this week (without telling him that I thought he was being unfairly punished - Patrick's martyr instincts are plenty strong without my feeding them) and I decided to give him a treat. Steve agreed to watch the twins and I picked Patrick up after school yesterday and we had a mini adventure. First we went to examine the tornado damage in Minneapolis and then we went to the Walker sculpture garden where he took a lot of pictures

  

So did I cover everything... Edward congested not psychotic (maybe); Caroline trying out new super sacchrine personality; Patrick recovering from no recess trauma through art therapy. Yeah. I think that's it for the week.

Oh and thank you very very much for your thoughts on my troubled and troubling friend. You gave me a great deal to think about but I have yet to come to any conclusions.

YIKES! The MOST IMPORTANT THING and I almost forgot. So after much marital... discussion about priorities and silliness and needs versus wants and whatnot I finally managed to convince my belovable Steve that the only practical way to insure that my mother (my city-dwelling mother. who lives in the city. and do you know who else lives in cities? criminals!) be given the added protection of a mobile telephonic device was for me to get a smartphone. So I could give her my old one, you see, and add another line to our friends and family plan. Which gave us a crazygood price on the HTC Thunderbolt that is curled up in its ladybug charger case on my desk as we speak.

Now that I actually have a phone that does stuff I finally understand that smartphones are not intended to replace the dumber kind. I mean yeah sure they do. You can call people with it. But that is not the point. The point is that you suddenly have all of these amazing THINGS. Right there. In your purse. Patrick keeps asking, "Does your awesome new phone have a camera?" Why yes it does. "Does your awesome new phone have GPS?" Why yes it does. "Can we track tornado conditions with your awesome new phone?" Why yes I think so. Maybe.

I have Our Groceries and I have Google SkyMaps and my question for you is: what apps (look at me talking the talk) do you love?

Also, total aside, but this occurred to me yesterday and I wanted to ask you. Sincere question: why do women carry purses and men do not? I mean, what is it that we carry in them that we cannot live without and yet men seem to manage just fine with a little wad in their back pockets?  

 

Comments

[Ann]

I was thinking the same thing! Also, I was wondering when we started carrying purses. I mean, I don't recall any mention of Ma Ingalls bringing her purse when they went to the Literary Society nights.

[Rachel]

Long time reader, first time commenter.............regarding the purse? Tis a simple matter....we bleed and they do not.
Asshats.

[Melissa aka cookingmel]

Ahhhh... I have missed you. I often think how nice it would be to swap stories over a bottle of wine. I LOVE MY SMART PHONE. I am so glad you are having the same fun I am having discovering all the great things it can do. I have the same "Yes it can!" moments. Aren't they grand?

[Nicole]

Ah--Ma would have brought her reticule! ;)

In my purse...a really big wallet that doesn't fit in my pocket, a brush, a million hair clips, some makeup, and a book. I always have a book. I guess men just don't care about looking good and being well read!

[Melissa K.]

It strikes me that this will come across as a "saucy" answer to a sincere question, but if you want to know why men don't carry a purse, look in your purse and take inventory. My husband doesn't need lipstick, lip balm, a check book, sunglasses, the metal ringer to a Triangle, handful of change, a book mark, tiny notebook with tiny pen, four additional random pens, portable tissues, receipts from a week's shopping, hair elastics, action figures (2), fruit leather, movie ticket stubs, gum, a kazoo, straws that bend, Tampax, my reading glasses, and eyedrops... but apparently I do! Most purse-carriers I know have variations on this theme. They're the hunters - we're the gatherers.

I love the prescient photo of Caroline. Isn't it amazing how every once in a while one's camera can flash-forward twelve years into the future, and you can see exactly what your child will look like throughout her adolesence?

[Jennifer]

I agree that we are the gatherers. We are also the Keepers of Stuff. As in, "Honey/MOM!, where's the [fill in the blank]?" This translates to purses too. Which is why we carry things like food and toys and all the other random things we need in case we are stuck in the woods in bad weather for 70 days like that person a few weeks ago. Note it was a man who was stuck for 70 days and he died--but the woman who was stuck for 7 weeks in similar situations lived. Because she had a purse and Was Prepared. Just my 2 cents.

As for apps, check out Toddler Lock. (Do you have the Android operating system? For some reason I am assuming yes and answering accordingly...) Toddler Lock not satisfy Caroline, because you can't take over the world with it, but it locks your phone, plays music and lets the kids do simple drawings. It's great mindless entertainment if your kid wants to take over your phone. I also have my RSS feed reader on my Android phone, and a very cool camera app called Retro Camera.

Our Groceries...I will be checking it out!

[why women have purses]

Tampons.

[Bekah]

Yep, ditto the other posters. I've minimized my purse necessities so that I can swap between purses easily but I still have a wallet and keys (both of which my husband carries in pockets. I could too) but also lip gloss, a couple of pens, a brush (my waist length hair needs it, husband's crop does not), my inhaler (how do guys with asthma manage that one I wonder?), my ipad, and inevitably a bunch of junk that gathers- receipts, business cards, notes, etc.

The interesting thing to note is that when I travel with my husband- he uses my purse as back up storage. I hold his phone, all the receipts, a snack if we're going to be out long enough to want one, his water bottle, sometimes even his keys. One of us has to carry a purse so it might as well be me since I have more vanity items.

[Liz]

We carry purse to protect our wallet. Do you know how many wallets my husband went through because it sat inside of his back pocket? Its condition gets worst and worst each time he sits down.
As for app, I have so many, I have a Samsung Galaxy. Of course my kids fight over it to play angry birds. The ones I use most often are: google calendar, gmail, barcode scanner, kindle, groupon, movies (to find out showtimes), google maps, opentable, qtip tip calculator, and butch of games. I only download free apps.

[gretchen from lifenut]

Women need tampons and crayons for the kids. That's why we are thick with purses. I remember being really grossed out by purses when I was a young girl because I figured they all had tampons in them and I'd NEVER carry a purse because then people would think I too had tampons.

I have an iPhone which has certain apps I love, but I don't know if they are available on droids. Like Instagram and Hipstamatic, 2 photography apps. I also like educational apps "for the kids" like Lourve and Planets, which lets you see all the planets in all the different wavelengths, zoom in, spin them. If you have a Netflix subscription, it's nice to have the app on your phone. Handy.

[chantale]

Simply - tampons.

I don't use a purse, though. I figure why carry a purse when I still need a diaper bag? Before I had kids, I was still in university and carrying a backpack. I guess I may have to venture into the world of purses soon. I feel so grown up.

[beyond]

INSTAGRAM! you'll love it. (and it's free.)

[Alexis]

I agree with Melissa K, above, and this also relates to my suitcase: I carry so much stuff because half of it belongs to him! In the suitcase, I carry the dirty clothes, the toiletries, etc etc and he has a backpack. A backpack! When we go out is the same way - my purse carries the water, the snacks, the chapstick, etc etc.

[marta]

For me it has a lot to do with my clothing. Many of my pants and skirts don't have pockets, which doesn't happen with men's pants. When I do have pockets, I don't want to make my butt or belly area look bigger by stuffing it with... stuff. My husband wears baggy-ish pants and his pockets always have tons of gross junk in them like old receipts, tissues, etc.

[rupiedupie]

Oh please, I carry a big ass purse, for nothing more than to balance out my big ass hips.
3 stylish faves, traded out from season to season. I stopped carrying the whatsits of everyone else in the family when one hot summer day I realized that they were old enough to carry it in and carry it out on thier own...apart from me.
I carry a purse for style, pleasure and okay, the neccesities of tampons.

[HereWeGoAJen]

I don't carry a purse. I keep a wallet in my back pocket, like a man. And it is awesome. Totally awesome. I hate purses. HOWEVER, if I wear something without pockets (a skirt perhaps) then I am screwed. I'd say that is why women have purses. All men clothes have pockets, even bathing suits.

[Jessica]

I love this: "he has stopped throwing tantrums only long enough to pitch fits." It describes my daughter perfectly.

[Alyson]

I think it's because we don't always HAVE pockets and then you can carry the wallet but a hand is suddenly occupied and not free to hold, say, an ice cream cone!

[Andrea]

Two things: Angry Birds!!! and I've never needed any help making my bottom look bigger by putting a wallet back there. :)

[Jan]

Patrick! Astronomy apps for star charts and planets and such! Celeste SE and some others are available for droids. iPhone, of course, a cool one where you can "look" at the night sky not only in front of you but under and behind where you are on the planet. See what you can find..

[liz]

As soon as you said, "he has stopped throwing tantrums only long enough to pitch fits", I thought "ear infection"

Angry Birds. 'Nuff said.

My purse holds my HUGE wallet, my sunglasses, my keys, my work badge, and my cell-phone. Sometimes it also carries my Kindle, but more often it holds a paper-back.

[Shana in Texas]

I turn into the carrier of things, too. Even if my husband did carry a man purse, it is unlikely he would remember to bring along the necessary items for the many variety of outings and treks facing the modern family. Like, does he know the importance of the emergency band-aid and safety pin?

Men no longer carry the tools or weapons to provide for their family. Women still carry their tools with them in some ways.

[Cris]

I hate carrying a purse. I carry so much so often (work bag, diaper bag) that when I am free of children and other responsibilities I prefer to bring as little as I can or rely entirely on my husband for phone, keys, money...That said, my husband would prefer to shove all his junk in my purse and wishes I would carry one more often!

[AnnaN]

I agree with Andrea above: reduced butt size, Angry Birds, and also, as others have mentioned, tampons.

And because Fossil makes pretty bags that require filling.

[Maria]

The other day, my purse tippded slightly over and out fell a plastic dinosaur and a pack of tissues. If I turned my husband upside down and shook him, what would come out is loose change and maybe some keys. I am responsible for remembering anything relating to child amusement and telecommunications. 'twas thus and always will be (in our household, anyway).

Michael Chabon has a really funny essay about his murse, though.

[My-Mia-Mie]

Long time lurker! My husband started carrying a "bag" a couple years ago. Wallet, keys, cell phone, Bluetooth headset, iPod, headphones, GPS, maglight, and a MILLION pens are the contents. I think the main reason he started carrying it is because he broke 2 smartphones in about 6 months. Carrying them in his pocket some other item would gouge it or his belt clip holder would snap/slip (darned if *I* know!) as he got in the car so that he ended up running over the phone. The bag has helped him not break so many things and it helps him not loose AS MANY things as before, though he regularly walks off without the bag! Are all men this scatterbrained?) I think a bag is a necessary evil for both genders, but more so for women.

[figgymommy]

You know, I'm really not sure, as I abhor carrying a purse and refuse to whenever possible (aka as long as I'm wearing something that has pockets).

[Jessica]

Men rely on our purses. it's not that they don't need things, it's just that they rely, successfully, on the women in their lives to have things.

And, get the Amazon Appstore app; they give away an app a day (which rhymes nicely) and sometimes they're awesome.

[Julie]

Funny thing you asked about the purse. Your timing freaks me out sometimes. Today, while at the zoo with the kids, we were sort of following this couple with their kids (you know how it goes, you start at the same place and end up spending your day at the very same exhibits?) and the man was carrying a very stylish (and very feminine) Kate Spade bag that I have had my eye on for awhile. I assumed it was his wife's handbag, as she was impeccably dressed, in a super cute dress that I wish I could pull off, and she wasn't carrying a purse. But her husband had it over his shoulder the whole day. She never carried it, never had it on their stroller. And when they paid for their popcorn, he took the purse off his shoulder, pulled out a very feminine looking wallet and paid for it, then put the purse back over his shoulder. I couldn't figure it out. his? hers? Theirs that they share? And WHY was I so fascinated with it??

Secondly, I once spent an evening talking with a transgendered woman. She said that the one of the big benefits of being a man is that pants pockets are huge and so much more useful. When she started dressing as a woman all the time, she couldn't believe how dinky women's pockets are. So something else to think about.

[miniminou]

Pursewise, my husband is always asking to put just a couple of little things in mine. But "a couple of little things" is actually more like his field guide to birds of the eastern United States, a pair of binoculars, a water bottle and a snack, a rain jacket that rolls up into a little pocket...I've learned not to agree until I see what he actually wants me to carry.

[Kris]

Ah, CBGBs. I blew off my senior prom in 1985 and drove from MD to NY to see the UK Subs. Where you there? I had the scowl . . . . and pink hair.

[Bethany]

I have never had a purse - only a wallet - and I am 33. In fact, I got my one and only leather wallet when I was a junior (or freshman?) in high school and it has held up outstandingly. Even with a 3-year-old and a 2-month-old I rarely carry the diaper bag with me for our everyday outings (although it is always stocked and waiting in the car, I find most things can wait until we get back there to take care of them so I won't have to be weighted down with a bunch of non-essentials). I feel the same way about the lip gloss, etc. most women carry in the purse. I can slather some on before I hop out of my car. Meh, who wants to carry a bunch of stuff around with you?

[Lawmommy]

I'm pretty sure the purse thing has to do with tampons...

Although, here I am, no longer walking around with a uterus, and yet it's still me carrying the purse stuffed with gum and tylenol, and not my husband...hmmm.

[Corrie]

I hate purses. My best friend got me one for my birthday this year because she thinks I need to grown up and carry one. I am attempting it, but I have this huge purse holding... my wallet, my keys, my phone, and my kindle. With the exception of the kindle every one of those things fit in my pockets. what is the point, exactly? I will say my favorite app is the retro camera. It makes your pictures look artsy without you having to do anything to them.

[mimiterry]

Men don't need them because we carry the extra stuff they need. I swear my purse got bigger after I got married, he needed more kleenex, gum, some techy thing, and I was now around to carry it apparently. Now of course its stuffed with kid stuff.

Words with friends is a great app, and any of the interactive books are great for my son when we're waiting in line anywhere.

[kdblya]

In the winter when I have to wear I big coat I usually do leave my purse behind. It's the pocket thing that so many others have mentioned.

However, right now my purse has a sun hat for each kid, a tube of sunscreen, several packets of cashews, an unopened water bottle, some shorts and underwear for my 3-year-old, my wallet, my phone, my kindle, so it's more like a post-diaper-bag.

[tkzk]

Women in general wear tighter pants than men, hence less room in the pockets. I had a great wallet a long time ago that was very thin and small. Room for maybe 5 cards and 4-5 bills folded in half lengthwise. Now I just decide what cash/cards I need for the outing, and that's all I bring. It can easily fit in the front pocket of tight jeans. Keys in the other pocket... And OB tampons are immanently portable. I do own a purse, but I never use it.

[Skye]

I like purses. I carry the checkbook so a purse makes more sense. Also with all of the essentials like my inhaler and lipstick and phone, a purse is nice.

The app Shazam is pretty wonderful if you're like me and hear a song and NEED to know who is singing it. Wordfeud can be addicting and should be only used if you can practice self-control. It's caused some marital discord around here.

[Amy]

A purse? What's that? I've been lugging around a diaper bag for 7 years with no end in sight. I dream of cute little purses that only hold a wallet and a lipstick.
My husband may only use his pockets, but he gets holes in those pockets from his keys and such rubbing constantly against them. Maybe a "man-purse" for Fathers Day?

[Amanda]

I love my Kindle App

[Jessica]

I have a purse that has been living on a shelf in my coat closet for three years. I carry lip gloss and eye drops in my front right pocket, my wallet in the back right, my phone in the back left, and my keys in the front left. This is the setup when I get to leave the house alone. When I am towing the chillins I have the diaper bag with all its cornucopia of crap. The purse is a remnant of my pre-baby days when I was a "professional" woman, not a mommy, and I ditto what so many others have said - lack of pockets in women's clothing. I had to have a purse or a briefcase at all times because most of my business attire had inadequate or nonexistent pockets.

My indispensable apps are TIME magazine and Newsweek for me, Peekaboo Barn, a drawing program, Piano Pals, and a few flashcard apps for my two year old, and Tesla for my infant. I know apps for infants sound ridiculous, but the thing basically looks like one of those static balls they have at science centers. She touches it and the million points of multiple-colored lights gather around her little fingers and she will simply bat at the screen and stare. It has saved me a few times from a public meltdown.

[Kristin]

Purses must be had because of monthly supplies and makeup and children's supplies. By the time we get rid of one and then maybe another, we're so use to it that we just keep 'em.

Maybe Caroline and Edward just traded personalities?

LOVE Patrick's pictures.

[Alexicographer]

Ooh, I'm thrilled to discover I'm not the only woman who can't stand a purse. I mostly go with a BigSkinny wallet (highly recommend) in my back pocket, my cell phone (not! smart!) in one front pocket, my key ring (3 keys, 1 tag) in the other pocket, a diva cup or a couple of tampons in ditto if likely to be needed. Sunglasses and/or a paperback complicate matters (though I also often schlep a computer bag to/from work and more or less everywhere else with my laptop inside, so that's OK and then just leave it in the car if running into grocery store or whatever).

I did carry a purse for awhile when I needed a diaper bag -- basically something big enough to carry the above plus 1 change of baby clothes plus 2 disposable diapers or thereabouts. I rarely needed more unless we were really travelling as opposed to just "out and about," though in fairness, that was for a singleton, twins would presumably be another matter entirely.

[llcsis]

Hmmm is this the same teacher you discussed in the beginning of the year that seemed to punish the boys more/unnecessarily?

[gwen]

Aside from the Caroline-climbs-out-the-window-and-prompts-an-Internet-wide-panic-attack episode, I think this is the first time I'm commenting here, and this is a random first(ish) thing to comment about, but:

"Art privileges"?

How on earth is taking away art an appropriate punishment for anything? Are math and reading and spelling and science also considered privileges, and would Patrick's teacher take them away if a kid is misbehaving? Wrong wrong wrong. Do not like.

[V]

For work, I have a leather tote-size bag with a zippered padded laptop insert, and it drives me bonkers when my male colleagues refer to it as "your purse." IT IS NOT A PURSE. IT IS MY PROFESSIONAL WORK BAG DAMMIT. Even if I do keep my lipstick and tampons in there too. :)

[lizneust]

I come from a long line of women with too much stuff in their purses. I try and keep it down to the essentials, but right now I've got: wallet, sunglasses (in case), checkbook, keys, couple pens, comb, tampon, 2 cell phones (one personal, one work), three barrettes, a small plastic dinosaur, a couple crayons, several receipts that need to get filed, a packet of tissues, and a cough drop left over from February. When I was younger, I bought the smallest wallet possible and wore it my back right pocket like my dad and brothers did. It was kind of cute, but my ass is far to wide these days to get away with it.

We have a first grade teacher who I will be happy to see the backside of. Two more weeks, thank goodness. I love that Patrick loves art - so very cool. I hope Edward rallies soon and that Caroline returns to sweet-tart levels.

[Michelle]

Well, my husband carries a "messenger bag" which is, essentially, a purse.

[kris (lower case)]

i carry a wallet and have for about 5 years when my shoulder started giving me trouble. i would never carry a purse again. as for patricks teacher. she is a joy-sucker. my sons first grade teacher was like that and i wish i had gone in a put a stop to it as it changed his feelings for school and now that he is in 5th grade i can tell you they have never been the same. take it from me...it is worth the fight to not allow bitchy boy hating teachers to torment your kids. boys should not have to act like girls to stay out of trouble. i have a friend who calls it the pussifying of boys and i think she is right.

[coffeegrl]

Here in Japan, where men and women travel separately quite frequently (there is still a fair amount of men socializing with men for work or recreation and separately women socializing with their own group of friends and nary the twain shall meet.,.) men often carry "man purses" (Joey from Friends called it a "man bag"). I think that's because without the wives/girlfriends around, the men have to carry their own cell phones, wallets, keys, cameras, cough drops, and everything else that normally gets foisted on me by my husband (oh and all the kid stuff too!). :)