Agendered

OK so I plan to start writing posts more frequently starting... now!

I'm not sure what happened last week. Last week must've slipped on the wet bathroom floor and hit its head in a classic seventh season amnesia storyline. One minute it was Tuesday and I was sitting down to write something breezy and (no doubt) hilarious and the next thing I know it's Monday again and I have written nothing. Not even a grocery list, which is why five people ate five different leftovers for lunch today and the only fresh produce we have is a dubious-looking orange that even Edward rejected and half a bunch of kale.

Once upon a time I would plan a week's worth of dinners and lunches; write the shopping list; buy all the groceries and that was what we ate for seven days. I did this before we had children and continued it for years after Patrick was born and - I think - at least through Caroline and Edward's babyhood. Last week I was rummaging in the freezer for something for dinner and I suddenly realized that I don't do that any more. I cannot think of the last time I planned food more than a day or two in advance and where I used to do one massive grocery trip (or order, back when I had groceries delivered) I now go every day or two and get what looks good at the moment. I find the new regime liberating so my guess is that my previous hyper-planning was less ace organizational skills in action and more loopy anxiety stuff. Like, maybe I was secretly worried that we would run out of food and be unable to simply go to the store and buy more? I'm not saying that everyone who plans their food shopping is responding to fears of alien invasion - just that I was.

Steve's college friend came for his visit and it was pleasant. He was nice to me and kind to the children and he and Steve were able to stay up late remembering the dear old school and that time the games' mistress caught Angela smoking in the bushes and what Lops Meller said to Fuzzy Ffurke-Burton to make her cry. He also brought us all I Heart NY shotglasses, which happened to be just what we needed so that was great too. Thursday night he and Steve went to the Walker as Mike is an enthusiast and was interested in seeing their collection. Steve doesn't know his elbow from a fire hydrant when it comes to art but he was more than willing to accomodate his guest; especially since Mike had been so cheerful that afternoon about going with Steve to take the twins swimming in the river. Quid pro modern art.

The Walker stays open late on Thursdays, which means it closes at nine. So when I woke up at two in the morning to discover that I was still alone in bed my first thought was that Steve and Mike had been killed in a car crash. Then I decided that that was just the anxiety talking, obviously they had been stabbed to death walking across Loring Park. Or maybe they had gone to a bar and Mike had mentioned to the guy sitting next to him that he had not bothered to watch the Superbowl since he is a Niners fan and he and Steve were then smothered to death in Packers paraphernalia (an ironic end for poor Steve who is a Packers fan, so much so that he has yet to delete the Superbowl from the DVR.)

You know, my best friend from childhood comes into town for business a few times a year and as often as possible we will meet for dinner in Minneapolis while she's here. We enjoy catching up on each other's lives and gossiping about old times and yet not once have I returned from these visits after eleven o'clock. I'm just saying.

So I lay in bed for thirty minutes planning Steve's memorial service and trying to figure out what I could possibly say to Mike's family and wondering whether the children and I would stay in the Cities or move and Steve finally rolled into the bedroom.

I hissed, "Two fucking o fucking clock in the morning is so fucking stupid. I've been worried sick."

He said, "We've actually been talking in the garage for an hour."

And I said, "That is even fucking stupider."

He said, "But less stupid than if we had sat in the living room talking right outside our bedroom, my sweet treasure."

And I opened my mouth to swear at him some more, processed what he said, recognized the fairness of it, ungraciously told him I was glad he wasn't dead and went back to sleep.

All of which is to say I am glad that Steve and Mike enjoyed the visit and I am REALLY glad that it did not wind up overlapping with Patrick's surgery because I am not entirely convinced I would have been able to cope with pretty much anything plus the return of Steve's salad days.

Edward is almost a caricature of himself. He is so very stereotypically male. And three. And male. The other day I tried to put him into one of Patrick's hand-me-down t-shirts; a fetching little number in magenta and electric blue that was one of Patrick's favorites back in the day. Edward took one horrified look and put his fat foot down.

"No," he said. "It yugly and it for GIRLS."

We have never in the history of our family ever ever ever said that anything is explicitly girl or boy or implied that there are girl toys or boy colors or anything remotely like that. Actually we couldn't even if we wanted to because Patrick is so broad in his tastes that it would be rude. So I have no idea where Edward gets his gender concepts. Innate I suppose.

Here he is with his new favorite things:

His fliers

His hammer

And his crewdriver

Oh and the other day Steve let him help steer the riding mower and I thought he was going to have an apoplexy. The joy! THE JOY!

Meanwhile here in Stereotype Land I let Caroline pick a few new things for herself at Target. Frankly I was expecting her to go for a pair of wee Converse sneakers much like my own but no.

She chose a hot pink ballet tunic, black faux patent ballet shoes and a pink sparkly headband.

How on earth did we wind up with a twirly-girly girl, a car-loving tool-packing Boy and Patrick? Patrick, who was once given 11 mismatched socks, hand-dyed by my dear friend Julie. When he outgrew them she made him a new set but now that they are almost worn out he wanted to try his hand at making his own. We got dye and dye related things (like organic Urea, which prompted me to go all West Side Story with "Ureaaaaaaa... we just bought ourselves some Ureeeeaaaaaaa") and Patrick and I had a terrific time dyeing the beejeezums out of a whole lot of socks. The last two he made multi-colored and they are the best but I don't have a picture of them yet. He's contemplating setting up some kind of online Mismatched Sock Shoppe but I don't know if the market is really there. Don't most people like their socks to match? You don't see Edward wearing two different colored socks that's for damned sure and Miss Thing likes pink socks, naturally.

Two quick questions:

1. I am thinking about replacing Patrick's backpack. It's Lands End and therefore indestructible but it is too small to hold books, lunch and snow stuff. For the past two years I have put his snow stuff (boots, snow pants, hat and gloves) into random oversized plastic bags (usually from Target) but they have the disadvantage of tearing constantly. Have any of you northernites solved the dilemma of how to send all of the crap they carry to school? Please advise.

2. Caroline and Edward shared a room during our trip. Technically we all shared a room during most of it but they had their air mattresses right next to each other and when we stayed in the house on Whidbey they chose not to have their own rooms. When we got back they asked to share a room here and they have continued to ask ever since. I have let them do it a few times (over Steve's strong objections) and it worked out fine in that they both eventually fell asleep and no one woke me up before eight the following morning. The first time they both slept in Edward's race car bed but that looked rather crowded to me so I moved an air mattress onto his floor and she has slept there a couple of times since.

She is now asking to have her proper bed moved into his room. This would involve hauling a lot of furniture around (which I quite like but Steve as the one doing the actual heavy work tends to despise) but I don't see a problem with it. Steve says he thinks it will be developing bad sleep habits (says he who falls asleep whenever his head tips below 45 degrees from any surface) and that it will make things hard when they need to be moved back to separate rooms again. Another point is that Caroline has shown herself to be quite flighty in where she likes to sleep (remember the floor? and the closet? and the bathtub? oh yeah AND THE ROOF?) so it is possible she'll change her mind again.

Thoughts on sharing a room? Personally I think we're fortunate to have enough space that this is even a question (my brother and I shared a room until I was 8 because it was a small house) but I thought I would ask in case I (or Steve) am/is missing something. Does it matter that they're boy/girl? Should it?

Comments

[Jessica T]

Hi,
I think that when they are old enough you won't be able to get them to stay in the same room together even if you wanted them to, so it isn't a problem from a boy/girl standpoint. However, given Caroline's flightiness and the fact that they may start keying each other up at night (my twins do, and we don't have the room to split them up, which causes me to have to be the policeman outside their door for an hour at night, not fun), I would get a toddler bed or some sort of additional, semi-permanent bed for Edward's room and she can spend the night with him when they both want her to. But I wouldn't move furniture from her room or clothes or anything, she can still get dressed in her own room and do everything there. And, in fact, if she chooses to spend the night, you could have her bring down her clothes etc. for the morning with her. If she likes her bed so much, then she can stay in her room. Especially since it sounds like you would be moving things up and down stairs, I hate doing that :).

[mama without instructions]

I can't see anything wrong with them sharing a room. My only misgiving would be the flightiness factor. Maybe have Caroline sleep on the air mattress for a predetermined period of time (2 weeks?) with the understanding that certain rules be followed w/regard to bedtime behavior and to see if the novelty wears off. Let them know it's a trial period and reevaluate success. My kids (boy and girl, 7 and 4) share a room and it really hasn't been an issue at bedtime or in the morning for the most part over the years.

[Betterasamemory]

Oh dear me, Edward's eyebrow in the third picture is fantastic! "Excuse me Mother, but are you SURE you know how to use this crewdriver? Perhaps you should let a manly-man like me help". And a real picture of Steve (two, actually)! And Caroline is beautiful--as per usual--and what an ability to accessorize!

No advice on the questions, though by the time middle school rolls around, I believe most kids here carry two bags--one bookbag and one gym-like bag, (usually school color/mascot themed). Granted, we Ohio folk don't need as many snow things, but with various after school activities, everyone needs shoes/uniforms/etc.

[Shawna]

My daughter (5) has never been keen on being alone in her own room. I offered to move one of her mattresses into her brother's (3) room (on the floor beside his low bed) for a fun sleepover one night, and she has successfully streched out the party for a good half-year now.

They do stay up a bit talking, but they don't get tearfully lonely and need an adult to come soothe them at all. And if left to their own devices would happily sleep past 8:00 every morning.

I do have to go in late at night and move my son to his own bed though, as he always moves down to hers to fall asleep, then their combined body heat turns them into puddles of sweat during the night if I don't separate them.

[FishyGirl]

I have had a Jansport backpack since the late 80s - they are guaranteed for life just like Land's End, but they have a much bigger size range. I am from DC, but we have all sorts of crazy rules about what can be worn where and what equipment is allowed to be in which classroom such that we needed to go to Jansport to get a big enough backpack (or in the case of my 9 year old, a "satchel" - thanks Phineas & Ferb) to hold everything. They are a little on the pricey side but if you look carefully you can find good discounts on them (I went to eBags but other Office Depot has been having a lot of sales on backpacks lately). I bought my middle schooler a Merit and it'll hold enough for a tundra expedition. My 25 year old Jansport is actually probably a daypack for hiking but it got most of its use during college and you'd never know it was 25 years old.

As for sharing a room, I don't have a problem with it - they will naturally start to want more privacy once they hit around 8-10ish anyway and then they can split up. As long as they aren't disruptive, I'd go for it, but given Caroline's general flakiness you may want to give it a month or so to see how it's working before dragging furniture all over.

[Olivia]

In what scenario does Steve imagine in which Caroline and Edward would "need to be moved back to separate rooms"? I would think when they are ready, they'll let you know. Maybe just a mattress on the floor would be good for now just in case she changes her mind.

For all of Patrick's snow gear how about a duffle and a seperate backpack for the books. Wouldn't want the books to get wet from the snow boots. It's a lot to carry, but getting a back pack big enough for all of it might be overwhelming in the off season.

[Jennifer]

could it be that you don't know about little miss matched?

http://www.littlemissmatched.com/?gclid=CLfXlK_Y46oCFYbs7QodSVKb7w

I know that it is for girls, but there is in fact already a store that sells mismatched stuff. They have one in Downtown Disney in Orlando, which is where I saw it, and it is too. dang. cute.

Maybe you can invent the boy equivalent?

Jennifer

[Anne]

My two (girls; aged 2 and 4.5) have shared a room since the younger one was 6 months old, and although they do tend to talk and play for a good 40 minutes after being placed in their beds, I much prefer it to the whiny crying my elder used to do when she was put to bed alone in her room. Naps are somewhat of a problem, because my older one will no longer sleep, and just plays in her bed, which in turn keeps the toddler from sleeping. However, we've more or less solved that one by having the older one do her "quiet time" on the living room couch instead.

I don't think there should be any problem with the gender issue: like another commenter said, when they decide it's time to separate, they'll bring it up.

I always think it's funny, actually, that our suburban culture places such a premium on every kid having their own room--this is so NOT the norm for any other time/place.

[BabyKMama]

I wish my husband would call me "my sweet treasure", even sarcastically in the wee hours of the morning!

[Carla Hinkle]

All the rage at my oldest's school is a giant wheeling bag called a Zuca Bag. You can't even call it a backpack -- if you google it you'll see what I mean. They are hideously expensive but the kids love to pull them and RIDE ON them and my daughter begged and begged and ponied up a big chunk of her allowance so she is now the proud owner of a lavender and rhinestone Zuca.

I imagine they would be impractical for places where you get snow (we are in San Diego) but it does hold a ton of stuff and since it wheels it doesn't break anyone's back.

I would vote for some kind of trundle or toddler bed or air mattress in Edward's room instead of committing to moving Caroline in there full time. Flightiness, etc.

[Chantel I.]

I wanted to give a shout-out to Patrick and his mismatched socks. All through high school, I only wore mismatched socks (and did some other rather strange things with my clothes). My best friend from high school, still to this day, 15 years after graduating, wears mismatched socks. So there must be some kind of market for it.

[Liz]

There's a whole industry for mismatched socks and accessories for girls: http://www.littlemissmatched.com/

The socks come three to a pair in complementary colors/patterns and are very cute. I love the idea of a line for boys :-)

[shannon b.]

I shared a room with my brother until I was 5 and he was 6. When we moved into a bigger house I continued to sleep in his room (he had bunk beds)until around jr. high age when he politely asked me to leave. We're the best of friends to this day, so it certainly didn't seem to hurt anything.

[Sarah]

I recommend a duffle sort of thing for the snow clothes so they won't get the backpack contents wet. If you get a backpack big enough to hold it all, it is likely Patrick will stumble around under the weight, because in my experience, if you have room for it, they will put it in. Perhaps there are no rocks in his backpack? No old lunches? No extra books, sets of encyclopedia. etc.?
An acquaintance of mine has girl-boy twins who have an older brother about 4 years older. During renovations, they had to share a room, and when brand-new separate rooms were unveiled, none wanted to sleep alone. Big brother made his room a playroom where countless small Legos etc. could be spread out, and the other two made a play room out of one room, and lived in the other until one day, they had had enough of each other 24/7. They are in middle elementary school now, living on their own. But, I wouldn't move any furniture. A pallet on the floor. This has the added advantage of keeping a kid used to sleeping on the floor, which is handy sometimes. I used to "let" my kids sleep on the living room floor about once a month so they considered it a treat.
I love the frequent posts.

[Jan]

The mismatched socks thing is all the rage with high school girls, at least. So much so that you can buy a dozen pairs in complimentary (and I, who am 42 and prefer my socks to be a bit lower profile, color-wise, use that terms somewhat loosely) colors/patterns at Costco and I'm told the idea is that you don't wear them as matches.

My kids (boy/girl, 5/7) want to sleep together, too, but I think everyone is better rested when they don't, so we save it for a once-in-awhile treat instead.

[snickollet]

Maddie and Riley have shared a room since birth and wouldn't have it any other way. They entertain each other in the morning and don't keep each other up; I think they both, in fact, find it soothing to know that the other is there and I suspect they would sleep less well if separated.

But sharing is all they've ever known, so it's hard to say. I'd be inclined to make the move, but I don't have to move any furniture now, do I?

Unrelated to room sharing, I "plan" meals now in the same way you do. I find that I waste less food and am more likely to come up with, uh, creative meals if I do less planning in advance and more on-the-fly. It is liberating, although sometimes the last thing I want to do is think about what to eat next and I then wish that I'd planned ahead for the week or I want to make something and I'm missing just one thing. In an attempt to find some middle ground, I try to at least have three dinners in mind as we head into the week and know that I have the supplies for at least those three meals. The rest of it, well, yeah.

[Lb]

My oldest two started asking to share a room when they were 3 and 6. At first I said only on weekends because I didn't want them keeping each other up on school nights. Then summer came and the arrangement has been permanent since. My daughter is11 and my son is8 and they still prefer it. Puberty is starting to rear it's ugly head, and I wonder if they will soon want to change. Really I leave it up to them. Right now they enjoy hearing the other breathe at bedtime and chatting before they get up in the morning. I am glad to see them enjoying each other's company.

[Kathleen]

Love the picture of Edward and Steve on the lawnmower! Has anyone ever said how much Steve looks like George Clooney?

and P.S. I don't see a thing wrong with Caroline and Edward sharing a room.

[Cris]

Perhaps a compromise on the room thing is that Caroline stays in her own room during the week and then on Friday and Saturday nights they get to have a sleepover in one of the rooms?

[liz]

Let them share if they both want to.

Maybe get trundle beds for both rooms since they're probably going to out grow toddler beds soonishly?

[liz]

Also: there's a market for mismatched socks. This is only one of many, many, many outlets. I'm pretty sure that there's room at that party for another purveyor.

[liz]

The link disappeared:
http://www.socklady.com/index.php

[hydrogeek]

My kids share a room, and have since they were pretty small. I kept finding my daughter sleeping on the rug by my son's crib, and finally moved the crib into her room when she was 3 and he was 1. It's been a year, and they love it. I was afraid middle of the night wakings would disturb the sleeping one, but so far we haven't had any trouble!

[Pam L]

Oh, yes, George Clooney was my first impression too, especially with that little head tip and the eyes and all, oh my! And, did he really say "My sweet treasure" , seriously? Anyway never had the boy/girl room sharing issue, all girls with me growing up, two boys for me. My youngest liked to sleep in his older bros room for a while as he was lonely and not a good solo sleeper for a long time, although he is making up for it now. Word is he woke up 15 minutes before his 9:05am first ever college class today, well hey, at least he woke up! And remembered shoes and pants, he says.

[yasmara]

My boys (ages 6 & 4.5) looooove the Little Miss Matched socks. We just pick ones that are sort of rainbow-y and that is gender neutral enough for them.

Also, they share a room & for now like it a lot! We do too because that means we can actually have a guest room.

[elsimom]

Urea......bahahahahaha. That is so funny to me.
Snow clothes/backpack - we live in MN and we do this:
backpack for school stuff.
reusable grocery/mass merchandizer bag for the snow stuff - if you want to be really clever, you could buy one in a style/design Patrick likes - but we just use whatever is on hand when I am re-loading on Sunday nights. The reusable bags can easily be thrown in the laundry if they get muddy/sandy/salty, I don't care if they get dragged along the ground (WHY do they do that??!! Okay - it still bugs me, but they aren't ruining an expensive bag), and they dry quickly. I agree with previous poster that you want the snow stuff to be separate to avoid other stuff getting wet. When they start to wear thin (see dragging) we just use a new one.

Socks - last I heard, Mayor R.T. Rybak of Minnepolis still wears unmatched socks......

Gender stereotypes- preschool. He is probably getting some of it at preschool - and probably not from the teachers, but from the other children. Each of my children (and my much younger brother, if memory serves) has gone through a very specific "boys do this" "girls do that" phase between ages 3 and 4 sometime. My son announced that girls cannot be firefighters. When pressed, he acknowledged that his sister could, and Mommy could.....so that argument didn't really hold. My youngest starts preschool this fall, and since we have a stay-at-home daddy, it will be interesting to see whether she comes home with any gender-based pronouncements.

The room sharing- I would not move EVERYTHING in there (too much trouble), but I would let her sleep in there, as long as they are actually sleeping when the time comes......why not? Caveat would be that if they are NOT going to sleep - she has to go to bed in her own room. Then - if they continue to want to be together and it is working, you could move stuff in a few months....

[Elena]

Is Kitty a Berman?

And yes, why have you failed to mention George Clooney is your husband? No wonder People magazine always has stories that GC isn't getting married - he's already married to you! Why do you tolerate all those girlfriends? ;-)

[A.]

Yes to sharing a room, yes to the mismatched socks, and yes to the crewdriver and the twirling. Yes to all of it, because we've never met; I'm not certain that I've ever even entered the great state of Minnesota, but I've been reading for a very long time. And sometimes, during posts like these, I lose sight for a minute of the fact that Caroline and Edward are just rosy-cheeked kids who are here now doing stuff and going about their business daily, and I remember when they were the notional and theoretical 13s. I worried everyday, and I am on the sheerest periphery of this narrative; who am I?! If I could have imagined that the 13s would one day be here and be this specifically and exactly wonderfully imp-like and hilarious, I would have thought my imagination had surely gotten the better of me. And your bed rest and ardor would surely result in the regular kind of children, the perfectly serviceable and nice kind.
Little did I know there are none of the latter where children are concerned. Only the former! And hooray to the world for that. And for the 13s, and Patrick! And your stories over all these years! Thank you for them.

[wombat]

I live in interior Alaska. We buy two or more of everything (outdoor winter gear) and keep one set at home, one set at school. We do not have much money, but it is SO worth it, and we find lots of good stuff at the secondhand store. They lose gloves so much we buy the little $1 stretchy ones in bulk, and also buy lots of ~$10 sets when we find them cheap.

I HATE HATE HATE searching around for all the bits and pieces of winter gear for the kids, and trying to make sure they keep track of it all, so this has been a good solution for us. Other than jackets and boots, I don't care if they lose it or whatever.

[Christina]

Well, I agree on the room - see if it works before moving all that furniture. But much more normal in an evolutionary sense. And I'm glad your guest was pleasant and didn't mind taking the twins to the river (sounds like fun). Can't wait for your next post...

[CaraH]

I didn't read the previous comments, so forgive me if I repeat...

1) re: colored, mismatched socks - see Little Mismatched. They're only for girls. My daughter (12) hasn't worn a matching pair of socks in four years. I am certain Patrick could tap into the boy (or multi-gender, or gender neutral) market :)

b) (Damn if I didn't scroll back up to your post TWICE now to remember what I wanted to say - I have much enjoyed my merlot tonight) - ANYHOW - I think as long as both twinkles want to and enjoy sharing a room, I'd allow it. You will not have to be the one to drag them apart later :) My boys are 10 and 7, and due to space, have to share a room. Once in a while, they still like to share the same (twin) bed. It's cute.

[HereWeGoAJen]

My two and a half year old girl looked over my shoulder, properly identified all of Edward's tools and then told me he need a "measuring scape" too.

Tell Patrick that I would buy mismatched socks if they coordinated. And tell him to hurry up, all my socks are getting holes in them and I am running out.

[amy]

My children are not twins and they shared a room until my son was almost four. They shared a bed pretty much from the time he was out of a crib until he was four and we moved into a house with three bedrooms. It was the only way all of us got the maximum amount of sleep, and really, isn't that the ultimate goal here?

Eventually when they are older, they will willingly accept having their own space. If they want to be together at this point, I wouldn't discourage it. How they sleep right now (together/apart, fitfully/soundly, etc.) will not have that tragic of an impact on how they sleep years from now. I'm sure you've said the "They won't be doing 'xyz' in college" thing before. This is no different.

[Heather]

You know maybe Caroline's sleeping issues would be resolved if she was able to sleep with Edward. I suspect it's a twin issue, even if they are boy & girl they are twins first and probably are most comforted by each other and can sleep better together.
Perhaps a trundle bed would work or twin beds in one of their rooms.

[AnnaN]

Too awesome that Steve has driving gloves for the riding mower.

Backpack solution - small suitcase with roller wheels and collapsable handle. I've seen the kids around here with soft-sided versions of the airplane luggage style.

Your children are so adorable. Love the quirks. Sleeping together? Isn't Caroline rather an instigator when it comes to hijinks? I can't imagine that she would put that on hold at bedtime. I dunno... Moving the furniture would be a pain and I commiserate with Steve having to haul it around only to have her change her mind in a few weeks. Not sure if there is a solution other than to say, "We are not redecorating on a whim and undoing the process when you two have a tiff. If those happens, it won't un-happen for at least 6 months."

Would that even work? Hrmmm

[Jan]

My younger brother usually crept into my bed and stayed there until he was around 6 or 7 (I am 2 1/2 years older). No sexual issues -- even though I would poke at his "thing" when he was being changed as an infant. We tended to migrate into our parents' bed out of fear or loneliness, and I think all agreed that it was preferable for him to stay with me. We also are both "night owls," but being together calmed us down for slumber. We would tell one another stories and talk about the colored dot patterns we could "see" in our eyes when they were closed in the dark and looking ceiling-ward. I wouldn't worry too much about it, although you and most of the kids clearly have some sleep issue -- do I understand! Sublingual melatonin and exercise are the way!

[SusanOR]

Uhh, I have one child, and she starts kindergarten soon, so I can be of no help with backpacks or sleeping arrangements.

Grocery lists, however: I love, love, love the Grocery IQ app for my iPhone, and I do recall that you recently availed yourself of a smart phone, didn't you? Because it enables me to a) formulate a favorites list so I don't have to search forever for the damn stuff I buy all.the.time, b) formulate separate lists for separate stores (the Trader Joe's list, you see, is different from the grocery store list) and C!!! - I always have my list with me when I am in the store!! And the icon on my phone tells me without even opening the list how many things are on my list, so I can see when it starts getting high that I'd better hightail it to the store.

[gww]

Quick thought then I'll go back to silently reading and enjoying:
L.L. Bean bookbags (monogrammed of course) were well loved by all in my grade school.
http://www.llbean.com/llb/shop/508666?nav=ln-508666

[Bobbie]

I shared a room with my brother (and sister!) until my father made our attic into a fourth bedroom. I'm pretty sure I was 6 or 7 when that happened, and my brother was a year older.

One of my biggest fears with my two boys heading off to college was that they had never had to share a room before. I think it's a life skill!

[Kathy]

I say let them share a room. I would love if my twins (both girls) would share a room because one of them hates being alone and I end up moving into her bed (thankfully a Queen-sized) at least a couple of times a week. But, unfortunately, the other twin has no interest in sharing a room.

About the backpack/winter clothes issue, I can't help you. I live in Canada and our kids wear their winter coats, hats, boots, etc. to go to and from school. It has honestly never occured to me that someone would need to tote them somewhere. :-)

[Denise]

No original thoughts here, but I like the idea of putting a temporary bed in Edward's room for her so if she changes her mind or it doesn't work out, you still have "her" room. They may be hitting the modesty years shortly, so she'll want her own room to change in.

I also like the idea of a separate duffel for the winter clothes--because how many pounds can a kid hold on his back anyway?--and in the past I have left a second pair of snow pants and boots (hand-me-downs) in my son's preschool for him. I don't know if that would work for elementary school, though, since they often need to wear their snow gear to wait for the bus.

[Liz]

I have said it before and I'll say it again... Steve is hoooooooooooooot.

Can you just move the mattress off of her bed into his room? Then after Christmas might be a nice time to do any rearranging that y'all see fit.

Ureeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeea!

I live in Florida, and I can't imagine how y'all navigate things like snowpants. We use the reusable grocery bags to send all kinds of stuff to school, since they are fairly durable yet basically disposable.

[tree town gal]

RE: backpack thing (apologize but I didn't read other comment so sorry if redundant) confuses me, too. For three years by daughter did well with (I think) a Gymboree which had attached lunch bag. THat worked great for snowpants and then beach towels for summer camp. I just bought her an LLBean and I'm concerned it do. My husband suggested Jansport as we both have had ours forever but I lacked the motivation for that.

[Taube]

Re: winter clothes for school - I put my kids' stuff in one of those reusable shopping bags. We have a really big one that we got as a gift from Pier One.

Re: boy/girl twins sleeping in the same room - mine do. They're almost 3 and a half. Some day we'll move them into their own room, but despite the fact that one always wakes up the other in the morning which occasionally leads to crankiness, for now we do it because it's easier to put them to bed at night. Because we do the whole bath/story/teeth thing and say goodnight, and if they stay up talking a while, so what - we don't have to supervise them! But I suspect Caroline will want to sleep somewhere else soon, whether or not you move the furniture around.

: ) : )

[Dead Bug]

FWIW, Josh & Olivia share a room and always have. Never really been an issue--they don't wake each other up much, and I personally love hearing them tell each other bedtime stories after we've left them to go to sleep. We plan to keep it up for a few more years.

As for the intrepid Caroline, so long as you have completely childproof locks on the windows, I don't think safety is an issue! (I think back on the roof story every once in a while and am both impressed and horrified at her ingenuity and daring.)

[Alexicographer]

I am doing that with the groceries too, though I admit, I was never so good as you on the meal-planning thing. I do miss your food blog, though. Down where I live if there is 1/2 inch of snow (or the promise thereof) we all dash to the grocery store to buy milk, eggs, bread, and toilet paper (really, it's quite funny; I live 1 mile from a grocery store and have never been unable to buy groceries due to snow, ever. Hurricane, yes. Ice, yes. Snow, no (though what will come down as ice and what snow, is, to be fair, dicey). Which also means I am zero help on the snow equipment issue.

I shared a room with my brother until I was about 12 and he was about 10. I don't remember either enjoying or not enjoying it, it just was. Neither of us seems scarred to me (or is that the first symptom of scarred-ness?).

[KJ@raisingdevils.com]

Ok, forgive me if anyone else suggested this, but for snow clothes (hi from NH) a MESH GROCERY BAG. A big one. Our co-op (yeah, again, hi from NH) sells them in lots of colors. They expand like crazy to hold snowpants mittens hat etc and the teachers love them because you can see what's in there, the kid can find stuff--plus, they never get all wet and yucky inside.

Oh, and all four of my kids share a bedroom (because they WANT to). Two boys, two girls. Works great.

[Kate]

I always wear mismatched socks! I started doing it years ago as a minor rebellion against my workplace appearance rules- EVERYTHING was regulated except the socks, and just kept it up. Nowadays I buy those three packs of different colored/patterned socks at Target and just wear them in unmatched pairs.

[julianna]

I don't have time to read all the comments, so I apologize if this has already been suggested. Am I remembering correctly that Caroline and Edward's rooms used to be one big room, and Steve put up a wall to divide it? If so, it would be fairly easy to add a door (either a regular door or a pocket door) on the wall dividing the two rooms. They could leave it open when they feel like twin time, but if they want there privacy, it's easy to shut it. If you check at Habitat for Humanity's ReStore, I bet you could find a cheap door, and Steve's handy enough to install it in just a couple hours.

[jchris]

So, I have no kids, no travel plans, etc., and I still want one of those Zuca Bags to carry my junk around in. Those pretty much rock.

Also, I stumbled across a discussion about twins sharing rooms the other day at http://www.momtourage.com that is probably more than you want to read unless you're just in the mood for a good argument - some people get really passionate about the issue, apparently. (The link is too long to paste here and I don't know how you feel about bit.ly links. If you search "twins" at Momtourage, it's the first response that comes up.)

For what it's worth, my boyfriend's twin sons were in the same room, and in fact in the same bed, until one decided to live with us, about two hours away from his mom's house. They don't get along very well, though. I'm sure the first poster meant that her kids didn't key each other up emotionally/get each other all excited, but I initially read it as attack each other with keys, probably because that would be more likely with these two. (They're 15 now; I'm learning that some 15-year-old boys just like to fight.)