Agendered

OK so I plan to start writing posts more frequently starting... now!

I'm not sure what happened last week. Last week must've slipped on the wet bathroom floor and hit its head in a classic seventh season amnesia storyline. One minute it was Tuesday and I was sitting down to write something breezy and (no doubt) hilarious and the next thing I know it's Monday again and I have written nothing. Not even a grocery list, which is why five people ate five different leftovers for lunch today and the only fresh produce we have is a dubious-looking orange that even Edward rejected and half a bunch of kale.

Once upon a time I would plan a week's worth of dinners and lunches; write the shopping list; buy all the groceries and that was what we ate for seven days. I did this before we had children and continued it for years after Patrick was born and - I think - at least through Caroline and Edward's babyhood. Last week I was rummaging in the freezer for something for dinner and I suddenly realized that I don't do that any more. I cannot think of the last time I planned food more than a day or two in advance and where I used to do one massive grocery trip (or order, back when I had groceries delivered) I now go every day or two and get what looks good at the moment. I find the new regime liberating so my guess is that my previous hyper-planning was less ace organizational skills in action and more loopy anxiety stuff. Like, maybe I was secretly worried that we would run out of food and be unable to simply go to the store and buy more? I'm not saying that everyone who plans their food shopping is responding to fears of alien invasion - just that I was.

Steve's college friend came for his visit and it was pleasant. He was nice to me and kind to the children and he and Steve were able to stay up late remembering the dear old school and that time the games' mistress caught Angela smoking in the bushes and what Lops Meller said to Fuzzy Ffurke-Burton to make her cry. He also brought us all I Heart NY shotglasses, which happened to be just what we needed so that was great too. Thursday night he and Steve went to the Walker as Mike is an enthusiast and was interested in seeing their collection. Steve doesn't know his elbow from a fire hydrant when it comes to art but he was more than willing to accomodate his guest; especially since Mike had been so cheerful that afternoon about going with Steve to take the twins swimming in the river. Quid pro modern art.

The Walker stays open late on Thursdays, which means it closes at nine. So when I woke up at two in the morning to discover that I was still alone in bed my first thought was that Steve and Mike had been killed in a car crash. Then I decided that that was just the anxiety talking, obviously they had been stabbed to death walking across Loring Park. Or maybe they had gone to a bar and Mike had mentioned to the guy sitting next to him that he had not bothered to watch the Superbowl since he is a Niners fan and he and Steve were then smothered to death in Packers paraphernalia (an ironic end for poor Steve who is a Packers fan, so much so that he has yet to delete the Superbowl from the DVR.)

You know, my best friend from childhood comes into town for business a few times a year and as often as possible we will meet for dinner in Minneapolis while she's here. We enjoy catching up on each other's lives and gossiping about old times and yet not once have I returned from these visits after eleven o'clock. I'm just saying.

So I lay in bed for thirty minutes planning Steve's memorial service and trying to figure out what I could possibly say to Mike's family and wondering whether the children and I would stay in the Cities or move and Steve finally rolled into the bedroom.

I hissed, "Two fucking o fucking clock in the morning is so fucking stupid. I've been worried sick."

He said, "We've actually been talking in the garage for an hour."

And I said, "That is even fucking stupider."

He said, "But less stupid than if we had sat in the living room talking right outside our bedroom, my sweet treasure."

And I opened my mouth to swear at him some more, processed what he said, recognized the fairness of it, ungraciously told him I was glad he wasn't dead and went back to sleep.

All of which is to say I am glad that Steve and Mike enjoyed the visit and I am REALLY glad that it did not wind up overlapping with Patrick's surgery because I am not entirely convinced I would have been able to cope with pretty much anything plus the return of Steve's salad days.

Edward is almost a caricature of himself. He is so very stereotypically male. And three. And male. The other day I tried to put him into one of Patrick's hand-me-down t-shirts; a fetching little number in magenta and electric blue that was one of Patrick's favorites back in the day. Edward took one horrified look and put his fat foot down.

"No," he said. "It yugly and it for GIRLS."

We have never in the history of our family ever ever ever said that anything is explicitly girl or boy or implied that there are girl toys or boy colors or anything remotely like that. Actually we couldn't even if we wanted to because Patrick is so broad in his tastes that it would be rude. So I have no idea where Edward gets his gender concepts. Innate I suppose.

Here he is with his new favorite things:

His fliers

His hammer

And his crewdriver

Oh and the other day Steve let him help steer the riding mower and I thought he was going to have an apoplexy. The joy! THE JOY!

Meanwhile here in Stereotype Land I let Caroline pick a few new things for herself at Target. Frankly I was expecting her to go for a pair of wee Converse sneakers much like my own but no.

She chose a hot pink ballet tunic, black faux patent ballet shoes and a pink sparkly headband.

How on earth did we wind up with a twirly-girly girl, a car-loving tool-packing Boy and Patrick? Patrick, who was once given 11 mismatched socks, hand-dyed by my dear friend Julie. When he outgrew them she made him a new set but now that they are almost worn out he wanted to try his hand at making his own. We got dye and dye related things (like organic Urea, which prompted me to go all West Side Story with "Ureaaaaaaa... we just bought ourselves some Ureeeeaaaaaaa") and Patrick and I had a terrific time dyeing the beejeezums out of a whole lot of socks. The last two he made multi-colored and they are the best but I don't have a picture of them yet. He's contemplating setting up some kind of online Mismatched Sock Shoppe but I don't know if the market is really there. Don't most people like their socks to match? You don't see Edward wearing two different colored socks that's for damned sure and Miss Thing likes pink socks, naturally.

Two quick questions:

1. I am thinking about replacing Patrick's backpack. It's Lands End and therefore indestructible but it is too small to hold books, lunch and snow stuff. For the past two years I have put his snow stuff (boots, snow pants, hat and gloves) into random oversized plastic bags (usually from Target) but they have the disadvantage of tearing constantly. Have any of you northernites solved the dilemma of how to send all of the crap they carry to school? Please advise.

2. Caroline and Edward shared a room during our trip. Technically we all shared a room during most of it but they had their air mattresses right next to each other and when we stayed in the house on Whidbey they chose not to have their own rooms. When we got back they asked to share a room here and they have continued to ask ever since. I have let them do it a few times (over Steve's strong objections) and it worked out fine in that they both eventually fell asleep and no one woke me up before eight the following morning. The first time they both slept in Edward's race car bed but that looked rather crowded to me so I moved an air mattress onto his floor and she has slept there a couple of times since.

She is now asking to have her proper bed moved into his room. This would involve hauling a lot of furniture around (which I quite like but Steve as the one doing the actual heavy work tends to despise) but I don't see a problem with it. Steve says he thinks it will be developing bad sleep habits (says he who falls asleep whenever his head tips below 45 degrees from any surface) and that it will make things hard when they need to be moved back to separate rooms again. Another point is that Caroline has shown herself to be quite flighty in where she likes to sleep (remember the floor? and the closet? and the bathtub? oh yeah AND THE ROOF?) so it is possible she'll change her mind again.

Thoughts on sharing a room? Personally I think we're fortunate to have enough space that this is even a question (my brother and I shared a room until I was 8 because it was a small house) but I thought I would ask in case I (or Steve) am/is missing something. Does it matter that they're boy/girl? Should it?

Comments

[kara]

I love the way Caroline is holding the hem of her skirt. Edward needs his own home improvement show. And Patrick most definitely (and completely seriously) needs his own Etsy shop for those wonderful, wonderful socks.

How are all of your cats doing? I forget about them sometimes when you don't mention them for a while, but then one walks through a photo and I suddenly remember and wonder..

[Naomi]

Regarding boots, snowpants, etc.: my usual preference is to transport them by having the kid wear them. At the very least, it beats the hell out of me having to carry them.

Occasionally stuff goes to school on the kid and comes home in the backpack. You really can cram an AMAZING amount of stuff into the larger size of the Land's End kid backpacks.

We also have some large cloth tote bags (also useful for library trips and visits to the farmer's market) which get pulled out on occasion for auxiliary baggage use but I discourage my kids from bringing anything that I would have to carry for them, because given half a chance they will happily load me down like a pack mule.

[Paula]

I very rarely comment, but I had to say that I too have a huge Packer fan for a husband. Like Steve he still has the Superbowl on our DVR.

[Fanny Price]

My son (7.5) and daughter (nearly 6) started sharing a room after my ex-husband moved out. They had their own rooms prior to that and had done well, were always good sleepers, but it was tough for them after he left and they were happier to have each other's company. They love each other dearly and get on very well. I downsized to a smaller house after the divorce, and this house just has one big bedroom and one small bedroom upstairs. I gave them the big bedroom and took the small, so they're still sharing. They go to sleep great and are excellent company for each other. I figure that once the eldest doesn't want to share anymore, we'll be able to convert the toy area in the basement into a bedroom for him, or maybe build a small addition. I'm not giving up my lovely ground floor office :-) I think we're good for another couple years (as the eldest growing up, I moved into a room in the basement when I didn't want to share with my sister anymore)

re: backpacks for winter gear. I'm north of the 49th, so feel qualified to answer...but I'm a little confused. Don't the kids wear their winter clothes to school and wear them home again at the end of the day? When do they go into a backpack?

[Hetty Fauxvert]

Ohmygoodness, thanks for posting the pics. Miss Thang (as we say it in Texas!) is truly delightful. What a little pistol she is! And that secondn pic of Steve & Edward -- good grief, that looks like you snipped it out of a magazine, maybe GQ. Some good-looking menfolk you have there! (Patrick too!)

As for the share/no share thing: Our twin boys (age 4.5) share a room and like it that way. They don't keep each other awake because I sing them to sleep every night (doesn't take long), and when they get up in the morning at the crack of zero-thirty, they play together until *I* am ready to get up! So this arrangement is working well for us at the moment.

I think I would not more Cahoyine's things into his room yet (or maybe ever), but instead get a trundle bed or just put down an extra mattress. (A trundle bed would be useful later for friend & classmate sleepovers.) (Although, OTOH, how long would it take to move her stuff? A few hours? I guess it depends on how you feel about extra work! LOL!)

As for the boy/girl thing, I don't think it matters a whit at this age -- but it *will* matter later on. The question is when -- adolescence, or earlier? I've read through the rest of the comments and I guess I'm going to be Cassandra here (always unwelcome, but there you go) and point out that in our hypersexualized culture, experimentation often starts pretty early. Experimentation is normal, of course -- but if kids don't have their own space to retreat to, it can become coercive and ugly, even permanently damaging. (Yes, I have personal knowledge of this. Don't ask me how.) I would be fine with letting them be roomies for now, if they wish, but I think I'd separate them no later than age nine. Maybe earlier, depending.

[Kerri]

All right, I am really feeling the need to jump in on the sleep arrangement dilemma. I have a five year-old and b/g twins 4 year-olds (just last week bdays) and we are having some major issues. It started with the eldest having nightmares and ending up in our bed every night. We moved her toddler mattress onto on our bedroom floor, knowing that it would just be for a little while. Two months later the only way to get her out of our room was to move her into the room with the twins. That's been over a year ago. We have a room right down the hall all set up with new bunk-beds for the girls, but there is absolute mutiny whenever we talk of moving them in there. The girls like where they are and now Ben is terrified at the thought of being alone in his room. So, while I love that they all take so much comfort in each other, I'm at a loss as to how to separate them. When one makes up at night for whatever reason, I have 3 up. So, I gotta tell you, I'm torn for you. There is such a little span of time when they want to be together this much and take such comfort in each other, but on the other hand when a room is about to explode due to 3 kids in toddler beds who REALLY need to be in bigger beds, it is not an easy fix. I have nightmares about when we finally try to separate all of them and the ensuing chaos that will follow. I guess in hindsight, I might err on the side of caution, and not let them bunk together. BUT I do love their together time. I just keep telling myself, they won't all still be in the same room at 14, so eventually we will figure this all out. Good luck!

[Cathy]

Tell Patrick to get o tying and dying,you wouldn't believe what I have spent on mis-matched and tie dyed socks for mysels, my niece, an nephews. Christmas is coming, I'd buy his wares, and I'm fairly sure I'm not the only one!

[styleygeek]

I bet the twinlets are hyper-exaggerating their gender differences precisely because there are two of them, and they are opposite gender. They are trying to find their independent identities and an obvious difference is the boy--girl thing. Patrick didn't have an opposite to define himself against in the same way. I made all that up, but it sounds vaguely plausible.

Also: urea?? Isn't that, um... urine?

[Stacey]

I wouldn't worry about the room sharing thing, but I agree with many other commenters in that I wouldn't move all the furniture around. I'd probably just get a second bed of some sort. And I also agree that even if they want to do it now, they won't when they're older. My twin sister and I shared a room until we were 14, and we loved it when we were little and were thrilled to get our own rooms when we were older.

[el-e-e]

They are ALL just adorable. That is all.

[Monica]

I haven't read all the comments, but just wanted to weigh in:

My daughter, age 4.5, wears mis-matched socks as a matter of principle. Pippi Longstocking is her spirit animal.

My niece and nephew shared a room by choice for years, and they are now both fairly well-adjusted grad students.

That is all.

[Kristen]

My 4yo daughter has been desperate to share a room. My 10yo son was desperate for his own room & my 7yo son was beside himself at the thought of sleeping alone so we moved girl in with boy & all have been sleeping happily ever since. I figure we'll rearrange again in a few years but it works well for now.

I love Lands End backpacks! My kids each have one & my oldest has had his since Kindergarten & still doesn't need a new one. However, even the larger sizes won't fit the snow paraphernalia. I send the boots & snow pants in a reusable shopping bag. That's what the majority of the kids do around here.

[Liz S]

Patrick needs to check out Little Missmatched. They sell mismatched socks- all girl styles but still there is a market out there for the mismatched sock. Don't know how long the trend will last. I know here in Utah my daughter and her friends started back in 3rd or 4th grade- they started COLLEGE yesterday. So who knows. They do drive annal rententive OCD people crazy. My daughter has a pair of mismatched tights now that is wicked to see.

Room sharing, I have no research or anything to back it up, but I say share. My sister and I moved from sharing to not sharing and back again our whole childhood. Of course once we got big enough, the furniture moving was our responsibility.

[Claire]

What about a camping cot and a blanket or sleeping bag (cute indoor cotton one) for sleeping over in brother's room. It is collapsible for when he needs room in his room or the novelty wears off.

My kids found them quite comfortable for camping and my toddler (now 6) refused to nap in his room when I was homeschooling (afraid he would miss something) usually he fell asleep where ever he was playing but we put the camping cot up in the living room and a small blanket and it became nap time bed.

[Maggie]

My just 5-year old and 2.5 year old have been sharing a room for 2 years, and I don't think you have the same issue, but maybe just a little bit: Their personalities are completely, I mean completely different, and they have to, um, lets say work hard to get along during the day. It's exhausting for everyone. But at night, they couldn't be better friends. It is so lovely to hear them laughing hysterically and cracking each other up that I am willing to pay the price of them not drifting off as early as I would like. C & E are best of friends these days anyway, so not the same situation, but if they do start to butt heads someday, the night-time might be a good time for them to reconnect quietly with each other.

[Amy]

While I don't see anything wrong with them sharing a room (my brother and I shared a room for many years due to living in small apartments), I think it's unnecessary to move all her stuff. A toddler bed or maybe a cheap bed (and mattress) from IKEA should do the trick. That way she has her own bed, but still her own room if they don't want to sleep in the same room.

I think it's funny how children can be very determined about boy things and girl things. My 3yo loves the idea of having his toenails painted, but only in a boy color. My 6yo would be content with any color.

[Chris in NY]

My daughter had a foam fold out sofa- just big enough for kids. It migh work for Caroline in Edward's room and take up less space than an air mattress when folded. We never worried about bottom sheets and my girl would just create nests of blankets that could be washed.
Something like this
http://www.walmart.com/ip/Kids-Sofa-Sleeper-Purple/10153951?wmlspartner=*GszsJVSVt0&sourceid=40150257431698750602

[Carrie (in MN)]

My g/g twins used to share a room, then got their own rooms when we moved. Kate has a couch in her room (came with the house and can't be removed without removing a bannister, basically) and Laura will spend a week sleeping there, then go back to her room, etc. I wouldn't move furniture - a pallet on the floor is fine. If they're not waking you up early, I say let 'em do it - it's not like they have to get up early in the morning for a calculus final.

I like the mesh grocery bag idea - we use a separate bag, like a beach tote. There is no perfect solution - I liked the Alaskan's idea above of buying two of everything and leaving one set at school. One winter Kate lost ONE boot in February. how do you lose one boot?

[Dara]

I buy inexpensive sets of snow pants for our school aged girls to leave at school. It is so much easier them stuffing a ripping plastic bag with their winter stuff and remembering to lug everything everyday to and from school.

I love to wear mismatched socks. I would buy them from Patrick if he made adult sizes & accepted paypal!

[Txtingmrdarcy]

I wish that I had something brilliant and domestic to say to help solve your quandries.

However, I would like to weigh in and say that with your salty early-morning language, I am convinced that we should be great friends.

[Jenn]

Isn't it almost shocking when kids do something that is SO stereotypically associated with their gender, unprompted? Maybe freaky would be a better word.

Are Patrick's multi-colored socks tie-dyed by chance? One of our nieces spent a half day last weekend tie-dying 4 shirts and some bandanas; I'll have to get her onto socks next time and I'm wondering how it would work out.

One more vote for "sleeping in Edward's room is fine, moving furniture isn't." If there's room for an extra bed in Edward's room, I'd think about getting one that could be a permanent fixture. It would at least save you the trouble of setting up/taking down the air mattress every day.

BTW -- is that a guest appearance from Kelvin in the picture with Caroline?

[T.]

I have no opinion on the sharing of rooms. I say, whatever works. But my goodness! That is the biggest cat I have ever seen!

[Shelly]

I don't see a problem with sharing a room since they are small right now. In a few years they will want to have their own rooms and spaces again. They are twins and share a very special bond.

My brother and I shared a room until we were about 8 due to lack of space, but my dad divided the room with a wall he built just before we moved into a larger home.

My boys share a room with their oldest brother, who is 22, due to lack of space and cannot afford moving into something bigger.

[sheilah]

I agree with most of the things I have read...letting them sleep in the same room at this age is nothing. I am sure when they get older they will let you know when the are ready to get their own rooms again.

I love the pics of Edward on the lawn mower! You can practically feel his excitement. He is so freaking adorable (as all your kids are), I barely noticed your handsome husband..."...my sweet treasure..." hehe...I nearly split a gut at that...

[Crowley]

Ok, on whether Macho-Man and Miss-Thang should share a room.
My sister and I slept in the same room (bunk beds) until I turned five, and she finally got her own room. I never looked back (even though my mum was convinced that I would need slow transitioning).
What I am saying is - go with the flow. If the kids want to sleep in the same room, I would say yes. It will not give them bad sleeping habits by any means. They may stay up longer, sure - but that means y'all get to sleep till eight, right?

[christine]

I would vote for letting them share, but feel badly about moving things around. Maybe give it a trial run of two weeks on the air mattress and if they still want to share after that, let 'em have at it. I promise that they'll be begging to move into separate rooms well before puberty and don't see any problems with the boy/girl sharing.

[justdawn]

My opinion on the issue of kids sharing a room is that if they want to and it is causing them to feel more secure thusly causing them to spend more time doing it, then it sounds like a win/win situation!

[Rachel]

I think as long as they like sharing and they get enough sleep that you should let them share. I wouldn't be surprised if the company makes Caroline more inclined to stay in the room at least if not her bed. I don't think there is anything wrong with boys and girls sharing a room or a bed, it's only massive privelege that lets people be that paranoid about mixed genders. If later they want privacy then they can seperate but that probably wouldn't be an issue until puberty. If you want a trial run, keep it up with the air mattress, they'll be too big for toddler beds any minute and better to decide what big beds to get them once it has been decided how they like sharing.

[Betsy]

Maybe for Patrick you could get a smallish rolling duffle for his winter gear/extraneous stuff and then a backpack with one of those loops you can put over the rolling duffle handle. That way he can stack them if he needs to carry/roll both around; but in the classroom he only has to deal with a backpack? I am not describing what I mean really well; but I'm sure it's out there somewhere.

Also, I adore the pictures you post of your kids and I almost always click on them so I can see them in their full glory. But can I just say that I don't mind AT ALL if you put Steve in more pictures? Don't take this wrong; but he's pretty hot. :-) I can only allow this, however, if you put pictures of him up in *addition* to kid pictures because I really can't do without the kid pictures!

[Betsy]

Oh, sorry to keep going on; but I meant to mention that Caroline and Edward should be fine sharing rooms. My twin sister and I went back and forth as we grew up -- sometimes in the same room, sometimes not. As long as Steve is up for moving furniture every time they change their minds, it won't be a problem. At this age the whole boy/girl thing is invisible to them and by the time they notice it, they'll almost certainly be back to their own rooms.

[Lizneust]

I have 2 girls (5 & 7) who occasionally like to have a sleepover. We've kept an old crib mattress in a closet, and we haul it out when needed. Although the older girl is getting a bit tall for that, she doesn't seem to mind.

I certainly wouldn't worry based on their respective sexes. When they are
Patrick's age, it might not be ideal, but for now it is absolutely fine.

Your family charms me endlessly. I read the 2 am discussion to my husband who laughed long and loud. We've had similar exchanges in the past.

Awesome socks!

[ali]

I do the West Side Story thing whenever we pass Ikea. My family doesn't think it's so funny anymore but I cracked up at your urea line.

[Crystal]

Our foster care regulations allowed siblings not of the same gender to share a room until age 5.

I think if it were me, knowing at SOME point they really will need, and likely want separate rooms (sleepovers and the like) I would suggest to Caroline that she could use the air bed and sleep next to Patrick (but I keep air beds for guests in the kids rooms anyway, it's just easier) and she's welcome to sleep in there whenever they BOTH would like, but at some point sweetheart, you will need room for your friends to sleep over and play, so we'll keep the furniture where it is.

No law says they have to sleep in the room where their stuff is. :)

Even when you decide they're too old to be sleeping in the same room (and let's not forget this is a rather modern notion, though one I'm probably irrationally fond of, easy for me to say with 3 boys though) I think it would be nice if they have a space that is shared. They will always share that connection, and personally I think it's a good thing to nurture. It will serve them well in later years.

Now that Lee is a road warrior I'm probably the WORST person to discuss this, but Lee and I have an agreement while he's on the road, call before the kids go to bed to say goodnight, and if you can't, call around quitting time and let us know so I can prepare them. Not exactly the same thing, but if I were Steve, I would have offered the guest a nice drink, excused myself to use the facilities or something, kissed my sweet wife on the cheek and said "we're home, we'll be up talking, love you!"....

A minor transgression, he was being thoughtful, but even sans anxiety, one does not like to awaken to find their spouse missing. A little warning is another kind of kindness.

But that's very womanly of me, I'm all about making our collective world go round. :)

Is it just me, or is this allergy season a doozy? I haven't been this sick since we lived in Dallas. Helluva time for my beloved to be on the road this week. Urg. I wish they could remodel my sinuses, make a bit more room in there....

[Jean]

Are the snow pants for school? If so, it might not be a good idea to make Patrick wear snow pants to school or during recess. He's a little old for that. The kids might make fun of him. I just put my boys in a coat, hat, and gloves when they went to school, and that is what they had for recess too. I also sent them to school in work boots and that's what they wore during the winter months. I did the same with my daughter. But the boys can be brutal to other boys when it comes to something they deem babyish, and snow pants are more for the little ones.

[Kathleen999]

My fraternal boy twins always sleep in the same room...have since birth. I think often twins, no matter whether identical or fraternal, just like to be together. The nurses at the hospital kept them together too.

One of ours couldn't go to sleep unless he could see his brother, as we unfortunately learned on vacation when his bed situation didn't give him a view of that familiar face. No one slept until we figured it out. An idea--do you think Caroline's penchant for sleeping in unusual places might be because she isn't comfortable without her Edward?

I would say a place to sleep for the other child in each one's room is a good idea. Let them go back and forth on whether they want to sleep together, but they still have their own rooms for their stuff and in case they get tired of it. Tell them they are allowed to visit.

[Shannon]

I don't think there is any problem with them sharing a room. My 5 year old son and 2 year old daughter share a room out of necessity right now. My 15 year old step-daughter visits every other weekend and having her share with one of them doesn't work - we did that when Beth was under 1. Moving the little ones in together worked out great as they both go to bed much better now, and I've heard that Alex will sometimes get out of bed to comfort Beth in the middle of the night, thus relieving us adults of that duty. :)

At some point Alex will want his own room, and we'll deal with it then. I suspect we still have several years, and by then Jenna will be in college and will be either gone or living in our basement, thus freeing up a bedroom.

LOVE Patrick's new socks!

Since my son is only in Kindergarten, I haven't had to deal with the snowpants issue. Currently they (and his shoes) fit in the backpack. Although with that in the backpack, the lunchbag doesn't fit, so he always has two bags in the winter. If we could leave his snowpants at school, it would alleviate that issue, but we only have one pair at a time!

[victoria]

I always thought your kids' cuteness was the reason to come here (that plus your writing) but that was before you started posting multiple photos of your husband.

[Elise]

Have him wear the snow gear to school. A pair of indoor sneakers would fit just fine in backpack (says she who had to walk to and from school no matter what the weather).

[Kit]

I'm just laughing because my 3-year-old (also raised without "gender colors" picked out that exact same leotard/tutu at Target. And wants to wear it every day.
As for sharing a room--I shared with my sister and two brothers (two sets of bunk beds)when we were all under 6. This allowed my parents to use the other bedroom as a playroom. (Small house in a big city.) We all survived and even loved it.

[Emily]

My 3yo daughter has a very similar leotard from H&M (hand-me-down from a neighbor). Hot pink polyester with ruffle skirt. She sleeps in it for days at a time. She asks me if she looks beeeeautiful. She won't wear trousers or jeans or shorts. I don't get this (although I know some of it comes from gifts and relatives etc.) BUT She and my 5yo son share a room, and the 5yo can't really manage without her. He had a rotten time when she had her own sleepover with grandparents.

[Kristin]

Regarding the backpack issue--we buy two pairs of snowpants and boots and leave one set at school.

As to sharing a room--I say go for it! I have a 2 year old daughter and a 4.5 year old son and I just moved them into the same room 3 months ago. They both had a terrible time sleeping before--my son had constant nightmares and my daughter refused to stay in her own bed when she woke up at night, so they would both end up in our bed at some point in the night, and I would usually end up sleeping in one of their beds. It was awful. I hadn't had a solid night of sleep for literally years.

I finally got the bright idea to move them into the same room (they both agreed) and it was the best decision ever. After about a month's adjustment they are both sleeping completely through the night, to the previously unheard of hour of 6:30 a.m. They talk and laugh for about 20 or 30 minutes before they fall asleep around 8 p.m. and then they are out until morning. Once in awhile I hear my son wake up from a nightmare, and then he immediately settles himself back down to sleep. Best decision ever!

[pwells]

So, my THREE now share a room, at their request (actually, at the request of the oldest). Similar to your family, our oldest is a boy (now 6 1/2), and we have boy/girl twins (age 3). We stupidly only put 3 bedrooms, including the master, on our upper level when we designed the house. Needless to say, our carefully planned "we're only having one more child" was blown to pieces, so the twins have always shared a room. They shared a pack and play early on as well, and I have to say it has been great. They are both able to fall asleep fine and, actually, have no issue if separated at nap time either. The oldest, about 6 months ago, got seriously upset that no one else in the house had to sleep by themselves, so we finally moved him in their room and all is well. At this age, I think your kids sleep habits are pretty well set. You know they can handle sleeping in different rooms, they just prefer not to. And you have the option of separating them again (I'm jealous of that, by the way). As far as opposite gender siblings sharing a room, - I just don't think it is that big of a deal. Society makes it a bigger deal than it is. Until sharing a room becomes problematic for them OR for you, just soak up the cuteness of their bond!

[Molly]

Mismatched socks? I think it's safe to say that Patrick was in the avante garde here. There are entire companies devoted to mismatched socks. http://www.socklady.com for one. Fortunately no one has stolen my idea for a mismatched sock shop so Patrick can have it if he wishes, The Snowflake Sock Company, whose motto is "no two alike".

For indestructable packs made in the USA, and not in a US sweatshop either, by a socially responsible company you can't do better than Tom Bihn bags. Bought my daughter, who used to wear out at least two Jansports every school year, one in 9th grade and as a senior in college she's still using it and it still looks like new. They're also designed to do minimal damage to the spine, but until schools ditch the gigantic textbooks in favor of electronic media, there's not much to be done.

[elz]

1) PAtrick is onto something with the socks, but Miss Matched or Little Miss Matched beat him to the punch.
2) Let them share a room. Why not?! They shared a womb-ha hahahaha. Really, what's the harm? Maybe Edward will convince Caroline to actually sleep all night in a bed. Maybe not. But, it's not like they aren't around each other all day anyway. I don't think boy-girl shared rooms are a problem at all. Of course, I shared a room with my sister from birth until age 13 and my two girls have been sharing a room for the past 5 years, so my opinion is definitely slanted. (We recently got bunk beds, but they shared the Full bed until we got the top part assemebled for weeks with no problem).

[Debbie]

Can I tell you how much I would like to find mismatched socks for boy? My son, who is now almost 8, has been wearing them for years. I usually buy them from

http://www.joyofsocks.com

but he likes to make his own combinations.

Regarding sharing a room - go for it. Sooner than you think they will want to have their own rooms so enjoy it now.

[rose]

LLBean for Backpacks. My youngest just graduated from high school. He got one in kindergarten, and another when he went to middle school. He wants a third one for college, but he doesn't NEED it, as in it is intact and in perfect working order. If the zipper broke, LLBean takes it and replaces it with a new one, no questions asked. No matter how long ago you bought it.

[Kim]

Ziplock makes these HUGE plastic bags and they work very well for hauling around snowpants, boots, etc. I know they have them at Sam's, probably Target or Walmart...but they're great and durable!

[Andrea]

George Clooney! OMS!

[Queenie]

LL Bean backpacks are also quite good, and come in lots of sizes. For the boots and stuff, have you considered those waterproof "stuff bags" that they sell for white water rafting? They velcro closed, and come in all sorts of sizes. They're designed to keep your clothes and stuff dry while rafting, kayaking, etc., and are well made. Well, mine are, at least. I can't recall the brand.

[Michelle]

I have a four year old girl and a two year old boy that share a room, I found that they sleep better that way. When they get older I'm sure they will want some privacy, but for now I don't see the harm.