BEMAE

On the way to Patrick's surgery today we drove past a site where there had been a rare squirrel double homicide. About four feet apart from each other lay the remains of two red squirrels who had - one assumes - been chasing each other when they met their unfortunate demise(s) at the wheels of a squirrel crushing, deer smacking driving machine.

I swerved a little to avoid them (I know they are past caring but I hate driving over that sort of thing - seems so disrespectful) and in doing so attracted Patrick's attention. He glanced out the window and said, "Oh, look at that. Two squirrels after sinus surgery."

He was a ball of laughing sunshine all morning, truly.

We have been saying sinus surgery but technically - according to the consent form I signed - he had bilateral endoscopic maxillary antrosomy and ethmoidectomy. I thought this was a nice mouthful so I read it aloud to Patrick a few times in my attempt to say it all without stumbling over the syllables.

When Patrick then met with his surgical team half an hour later they asked him why he was there.

"I wish I knew," Patrick said. "Unlucky I guess."

They said, no, they meant, did he know what surgical procedure he was having done? He froze and I know both of us were thinking uh, disco maximus astronomy something something?

The nurse said, "Sinuses?" and Patrick looked relieved and said, "Sinuses."

His two big concerns going in were the IV (specifically IV insertion - they had to stab him five times to get one in his first time at Childrens) and the mask for the anesthesia. They put the IV in after he was asleep this afternoon so that was a big plus but being put under was almost as traumatic for him as it was the last time. They let me stay in the operating room with him until he was out and he was fine, fine, fine... and then he wasn't. The mask started to go down and he started to shake. I held his hand and the nurses patted him and the anesthesiologist said three deep breaths and you'll be asleep.

Patrick took one, two, three breaths and then he glowered at us. 

"I'm not asleep!" he said, all muffled from the mask. "Don't start the surgery yet!"

The anesthesiologist said let's think about something else ok buddy? Let's think about

- hold on while I again start to giggle hysterically (as in hysteria not as in ohmygod how funny) because... well you know Patrick, you decide -

the anesthesiologist said, "Baseball! Did you get out and play a lot of baseball this summer?"

Patrick went momentarily rigid and then he lost it.

"No! I don't like baseball!" he sobbed. "I don't like any of that stuff!" 

He tried to tug the mask off and we had to pin him down and it was awful but the whole time he was still yelping about his sports issues. Eventually, mercifully he stopped glaring at me and his eyes crossed and he went out, still muttering, "ball... dangerous... hit in the head."

As I was escorted from the room the nurse patted my back because my shoulders were shaking. I think she thought I was crying but I was actually close to laughing aloud. I tried to explain this to her but as I did so my eyes filled with tears and I realized that I was both - amused as ever by Patrick and flattened by the guilt of having to hold him down while he struggled.

They brought us to him in the recovery room a couple of hours later and he was a mess. Literally (dried blood all over his gown and his hands and his arms and fresh blood soaking the gauze taped under his nose) and emotionally (he just wailed, this awful raspy gulping cry that was almost primal.) Anesthesia really sucks. No doubt. We got some ice chips into him and a little popsicle and he dozed off and on for about an hour. He probably could have slept there for a few hours but we wanted him home and they needed their space so we bundled him into the car where he promptly threw up about a gallon of blood and mixed gore. Thank god for those plastic bags, that's all I have to say.

He's home now and sleeping again and I am sure he would appreciate your good wishes.

Comments

[Sarah]

He gets all the good wishes I have today, and he can have tomorrow's too, and all the good wishes I have for the rest of the week. No, wait, you and Steve get some of them also.

[Uccellina]

Poor Patrick! If it helps, this will be a really great story to tell his friends in college.

[NZ Sarah]

Just sending hugs Julia. Lots of them.

[Laurie]

Oh, I feel so awful that I laughed! But probably not as awful as Patrick feels, or you. Good thoughts winging their way west!

[Jessica]

Ugh. I hope he recovers quickly and that this solves all of his sinus troubles!

[Sally]

Your poor, poor boy! I hope his recovery is swift and that the surgery ends up worth it in the long run.

[Jana]

Poor kid. He has all of my good wishes!

[Deanna]

Poor guy. Best wishes for a speedy and low-vomit recovery.

[Becca]

Not wishing anymore IVs on the poor kid, but they make these magical patches that you stick on the back of the hand (or where ever) and wait 20 minutes, and then all is numb.

I understand his anesthesia issues; I had a standing agreement with my anesthesiologist that he would knock me out before anything hideous happened (I was due a nerve block plus a separate epidural) and we would remain friends after.

[Stop Hounding Me]

I wish I had such a valid argument in favor of ice cream for breakfast, lunch & dinner. Hang tight, Patrick!

[Shannon aka Charming Bitch]

Feel better soon, Patrick! I am so sorry you had a rough morning!

[Joanne]

Good wishes to Patrick, and soon he will be recovered enough to NOT play baseball.

[Jen]

Oh lordy. I think the gallon of gore would have had me turning right back around for a few more hours of rest at a hospital! But then, I'm big on the illusion that all's well if there are a lot of medical professionals all around. Of course, the truth is that he's probably better off and safer entirely at home.

Sending you best wishes that the next few days are filled with peaceful sleep and quick healing!

[Erin]

Patrick! You are ridiculously brave, surgeries are no fun at all. I'm sorry you have to go through such a lousy experience, but I bet you will be feeling better really soon. Hang in there and good wishes for a speedy recovery!

[Sara]

Oh dear. Poor Patrick. I truly hope that this is the end if his head troubles, that there is no more vomiting, and that he recovers very quickly from surgery.

(Poor you, too. Ugh. I'm so sorry that you had to go through this also.)

[Kim in MD]

Awww man...poor Patrick. I really hope he mends quickly! Sending lots of good thoughts your way!

[christine n.]

poor Patrick! poor Julia! good wishes to you both in recovering from the blood and gore.

[KatieV]

That sounds terrible!!! But it's over!

[Janet]

So many good thoughts coming your way!

[Julia]

I was 5 when I had my second set of tubes put in. (The first was at 18 months and I don't recall that at all.) This probably won't make you feel better right now, but I still remember how horrible it was when they wheeled me away from my parents. They didn't let me stay with them until I was out. They were with me when they put the mask on, but then wheeled me off when I was still conscious. I remember sitting up and crying for them not to take me away. I was out about 15 seconds after we got into the operating room.

So, it was traumatic at the time, but here I am, 12 years later, and while I can remember it, I feel no resentment or any lingering trauma from the experience.

(Of course, when I had an endoscopy at 22, it was nearly as horrifying, even though I was way past the age where I could be asking for my mother to stay with me in the room. They did let her into pre-op, but they didn't even start the anesthesia until I was in the operating room. But I had fun watching my ridiculously high blood pressure due to the fear, and how I could control it by forcing myself to calm down, which would last for all of 10 seconds before my mind went back to OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG.)

[amy]

Oh ~hugs~ to him, and to you! I really hope he feels better soon and that this surgery is what he needed.

[Kate]

Poor Patrick! And poor you! I have a couple of friends who have had major sinus surgery, and word is that, although the first couple of days of recovery can be tough, the results are life changing. One friend actually almost fell over the first time she inhaled through her nose after the swelling went down because she had NO IDEA one could draw that much air through one's nose. I hope Patrick's results are equally astonishing. :)

[Val]

Oh Patrick, I am sorry you were so worried about the anesthesia! It is a horrible feeling, I know that from my own past experiences. If you ever [and I hope not] need another surgery, ask them to give you a shot of something to calm you down. My last surgery/anesthesia went so much better due to this. I didn't have any of the panic, or racing heart, rushing sounds from my past surgeries. Just something to file away, in case. As for the throwing up afterwards, I do that every time too - except the last one. They put one of those patch things behind my ear, and gave me a shot of something in my IV. No nausea. None. It was unreal.

Julia, many many hugs to you hon, I know how hard it is to have your child deal with surgery and it's prep and aftermath. I think you deserve some ice cream for breakfast too. :) <3

[Amy]

I remember waking up in the middle of having my broken arm set and sewn. I was 8, and utterly terrified. Poor Patrick. And poor you!

Here's some best wishes for a fast recovery, and I hope things go well from now on.

[victoria]

Oh, I'm so sorry Patrick! Please know you're in my nonsectarian, rational, humanist, science-based good wishes!

Just be glad you got your sinuses taken care of now and you don't have to struggle with them for now on!

[Allison]

Sending good wishes to Patrick. The worst is over. Heal up quickly and get back to your awesome sewing!

[Cathy]

Oh--this sounds so rough. I hope he feels better soon!!!

[Clarabella]

Hang in there, all of you! As difficult as this may be now, there is the hope that all the problems he's had with his sinuses will clear up because of this...so...silver lining? GOOD WISHES for days!

[Lara]

Poor kid! But Patrick's a trooper and I know you'll all be fine.

[Betty M]

Poor Patrick. I do hope he feels back to his normal self soon.

[Ruth]

Aw, Patrick. Post-surgery is so tough. Hang in there (and you too, Mom and Dad!). A few days from now this will all be a bad memory.

[Priscilla]

Happy healing Patrick!!!

[Melissa aka cookingmel]

Sending the very best of healing vibes...

[(another) karen]

Major, major good wishes coming his way. Yours too...

[snickollet]

Oh, goodness. Many good wishes for a speedy recovery.

[Monica C.]

Oh no!! Here's hoping that once all of the post-surgery ICK wears off, his recovery will be speedy & without incident. XOXO

[janet]

Lots and lots of good wishes from Northern Ontario!

[Mary]

I'm so glad your surgery is over, Patrick and wish you a very speedy recovery.

[Dawn]

Hang in there, Patrick, and get well soon!

[vanessa]

Hey Patrick, as someone who has had loads of ankle surgery may I say that the drugs really do suck, and being put under with that mask is just totally terrifying and I'm so sorry it was such a rough morning. In the meantime, I hope you have a speedy recovery! Audiobooks maybe? Or just book books, but sometimes it can be hard to hold those up...

[Kirsten]

Patrick is very funny. I love "I don't know. Unlucky I guess." Kills me. Given his capacity for magical one-liners, your great writing, and your shared love for good children's books, have you ever thought of you two writing a children's book together? Not this moment, as he is recoverying from the blood and guts show, but at some point?
Good luck to all of you on the recovery. May it be quick.

[Kirsten]

Oops, I misquoted him. "I wish I knew. Unlucky I guess.""

[Clarity]

OMG poor Patrick and poor you!!! I didn't mean to laugh, he's just so indomitably adorable as always and I couldn't help it.

We're on maybe our 10th surgery over here and I swear the smell of whatever gas they use to knock them out can send me right into post traumatic shock. They come out REEKING and that smell will forever be associated with blood, and vomit, and my poor broken children wailing like they want to die. Absolutely horrible every time.

I'll be thinking of you guys, please keep us updated on the horror!!!

[Chelsea]

Terrible and funny and sad, poor brave Patrick! I'm 33 and still terrified of anesthesia, so I hope he doesn't feel bad for being scared.

[Molly]

I hope you will continue to blog into P's adulthood bc that kid is wonderful and hilarious and I cannot WAIT to see what he's like as an adult. My very best wishes for a speedy recovery.

[Elizabeth Hosto]

My husband had the same surgery a few weeks ago and the good news is that he feels a ton better now, the bad news is that the first couple days were pretty sucky. Lots of popsicles, hard candy, kool aid and other cool/cold foods (I think he ate 6 of those mini watermelons). Sending good, healing wishes your way and hopefully Patrick will be better than ever really soon.

[Leah Wagner]

Oh goodness. I'm so sorry. He's delightful as always, but I hate to hear about him being scared. Give him my best.

[tuesy]

Oh poor Patrick.. I hope his recovery is swift. I did laugh about his indignant baseball mutterings as he went under, though. Poor kid. And I have to say that I was lucky. When my husband had sinus surgery in May he kindly threw up the gallon of blood in the recovery room after he tried to put his clothes on, so I didn't have to clean up the car.

[HereWeGoAJen]

Much love and a quick recovery to Patrick.

[Mel]

Get well soon buddy xx