The Verticals

One of the things I love most about you is the self-awareness that you (collectively) possess and that I lack like a tail. The bedtime comments/philosophies/strategies were fascinating and it wasn't until I read them that I realized 1) in my heart of hearts it doesn't really bother me when children pop out of the woodwork to talk to me at all hours of the night; but 2) if they try to get me up for the day before 7:30 (summer) or 7 (school) I simply won't do it. I send them to Steve. I pull pillows over my head. I mutter about getting themselves a banana. I feign death. Edward did wake me up at 5:54 the other day but he eventually fell back asleep on top of me since I refused to move or speak to him until the music (alarm) started and (just between you and me) I hadn't set the alarm. Patrick has learned to use the toaster this summer lest he starve to death before I get up.

So I get it! I understand! It is possible to bore your children into self-care and/or sleep provided you really truly mean it or can convincingly fake it. So noted and I hope all the suggestions were as helpful to you as they were to me. Personally, I am planning on starting the ticket system that Elle mentioned in the comments. Caroline and Edward are going to decorate two bedtime tickets a piece that they will be able to trade for a post-door closing water/trip to the bathroom/kiss/zoological spelling help session. When they have used both tickets I will get to say "do you have a ticket for me?" and when they say "oh ah huh I must've left it in my other pants" I will say "alrighty then it will have to wait until tomorrow - good night!"

I have no idea if it will work (and to be honest the past couple of nights have been better - I think they were in vacation meltdown) but I do know that they will absolutely love the concept. We already use library cards for bedtime stories

[at first they were imaginary but then Patrick got to work and made them each a card with their names on it, plus a scanner and a sign saying Manager that shows a dour looking stick figure smoking and checking out books.

Who is that supposed to be? I asked.

Oh, that's you, the library manager.

SMOKING?

It's how I saw you in the job, explained Patrick]

... anyway. Bedtime tickets. I love the idea.

After at least three years of Patrick asking if they could build a tree house, Steve finally (and rather abruptly) agreed that they needed to build a tree house. He mentioned this to me on Friday night and early Saturday morning he and Patrick set off in matching work gloves to buy lumber.

They worked on it all weekend and made decent progress.

Oh hey look at that - a genuine beaming smile from Patrick.

Edward manned the ladder and is still waiting for the railings that will allow him to go up, too.

When Steve told me about it I had pictured something about two feet off the ground. Wrong. Patrick kept asking if it was making me nervous to have him up there and I kept saying nope because it doesn't - although I'm not sure why because I have a fairly well developed fear of falling. Not a fear of heights, I would like to point out, but roof edges and cliff sides and the like - places where the earth just drops away give me the total heebie jeebies. So you would think an unfinished treehouse would have me chewing on my hair but...

When we were in Yellowstone we took a path down to see one of the waterfalls but it turned out it wasn't an actual viewing area; just a small clearing with rocks and some grass and a sheer drop of a couple hundred feet down to the water. I was carrying Edward and started to walk toward the spot where Steve was holding Caroline and all of the sudden I realized how close we all were to the unprotected edge and I started to swoon. An honest to goodness whoooooooo when it felt like the earth was tilting me toward the cliff and the edges of my vision turned black and I started to hyperventilate.   

I squeaked, "Steve! I can't do this! I can't do this!" and in a romance novel he would have swept me into his arms in two strides and carried me to the safety of the car. In reality he snapped "Then don't! Just walk back to the path!" and I was, like, oh. Ok. I suppose I can do that. And I did but Edward was so mad at me for turning back before he saw the waterfall that he kicked at my shins. So we both got to go back to the car - he for his well-deserved time out and me for a nerve-settling diet Dr Pepper.

Total aside but I am usually a tea drinker. Two cups of black tea with mint - one in the morning and one in the afternoon - keep the caffeine to oxygen levels well regulated in my blood stream. When we were traveling, however, tea was out of the question because virtually no one on this planet can make a decent cup of tea for the road. So I started drinking Coke to keep me awake but I looked it up on this fitness app and discovered that each Coke was the equivalent of at least a cookie so I turned to diet Coke but (no offense) it tastes like battery acid. So I tried a diet Dr Pepper and I said wow, diet Dr Pepper really does taste more like regular Dr Pepper and yet again travel expands one's horizons.

It is dinner time but I cannot get anyone out of the backyard, Steve included. They're on their own I guess.

Picture of the superbestfriends, because they are cute

Comments

[NZ Sarah]

Just had to say that that picture of Edward and Caroline is too cute.

I think Dr Pepper must be something you have to taste as a child, to enjoy. They don't sell it here and I first tasted it as a 20 year old on a visit to the US. I'm still unsure as to why someone would pay money for something that tastes like that!

In the spirit of full disclosure I should admit that I like vegemite, so I don't think any self respecting American would take much notice of my point of view.

[Nelson's Mama]

@NZ Sarah I'm American and I feel exactly the same about Dr. Pepper!

[bethany actually]

I like Coke Zero waaaay better than Diet Coke. Just a thought.

[Amy]

Ditto on the Coke Zero. But with Vanilla!! Yum.

The Superbestfriends are adorbs. And my 6 year old spotted that picture of the unfinished treehouse and is now plotting his own. (Which he will not be getting, since my hubs is nowhere NEAR as handy as Steve.)

[Shannon]

Love, love, love coke zero with vanilla. It literally makes me smile to see it in my fridge, but like all good things, I think I need to moderate it (I suppose 6 a day is rather excessive!)

[Jen]

Needs to be full fat coke. I have that pesky gene that makes artificial sweeteners taste like cr@p. Yes, seriously, there is a gene that does that. 5 years of School taught me something more useful than the relative silica contents of igneous rocks. Much.

[Jan]

Pepsi girl myself (think it's closer to Dr. P), and I just discovered diet wild cherry Pepsi, which, I think is, gasp, even better than Dr. P. The kids will be safe in the tree house; try not to worry about it. Ticket idea sounds like a winner. Why don't you add a "sweet dreams" ticket for the "wait until tomorrow/good night" closer. Maybe with a suggestion of two of good dreams, things to do/see in a good dream.

[Veronica]

I'm also not good with the edges of things. I visualise them crumbling away and everyone tumbling down. Like Jack and Jill, but with an ending brown paper and vinegar can't fix.

[Clarity]

SEE? I really think as a parent you're either one or the other, either you cannot do mornings or you categorically refuse to do nights. You just have to pick your poison and deal and that is the end of that!

So glad to hear you're getting so brave about the whole fall down go splat thing, that's wonderful!! I have learned from painful experience that all the really horrific accidents are generally totally unpreventable and usually occur while doing something perfectly safe so there's no sense trying to head them off at the pass!

[Kelly]

I think the tickets will totally work! And I'm proof they never outgrow it! The high school I work at has a "no passes to leave math/science class" policy that we skirt by giving each student one emergency bathroom ticket per semester. If they ask to go, we ask for a ticket. They either have to save theirs, con a peer into giving them one, or hold it. They watch those tickets like freaking eagles. If they get wind another student is moving and might have an extra ticket, they start kissing butt right away to earn it. I find it hilarious and their Economics teacher loves the lessons he gets out of it....all because they have to have a ticket for a privilege....at 18 years old.

[NGS]

I didn't have Dr. Pepper until I was in my late teens and it's the most revolting drink ever. I can't imagine the taste of Diet Dr. Pepper.

(I also didn't try Cherry Coke until this past summer. I am 32 years old. I LOVE it. I will do just about anything for a Cherry Coke from a fountain or a can. I think Diet Cherry Coke is a subpar substitute but will do in a pinch. Cherry Coke Zero is disgusting and will never do. I have learned all of this in the last four months.)

[Darlene]

A long time ago, someone told me that Dr. Pepper tasted like carbonated prune juice. It does. I couldn't drink it anymore after that!

[giddy]

Carbonated prune juice....yum! Love Dr. Pepper!

[MFA Mama]

Oh, my heart! The picture of Patrick and Steve both beaming up in that tree...well, it's effing adorable, and you already know that, but DAMN.

I hate heights too.

The superbestfriends are VERY cute. I do so enjoy your posts :)

[Amy]

One thing I'm loving about being a parent is doing for my daughter all the fun things I wanted when I was a kid! I always wanted a tree house. Now I live on 85 acres of forest, and I fully expect that someday my daughter will have one. When I was a kid I wanted to live in the woods SO BAD--and now I do! And my daughter knows the trails around our house about as well as she knows the hallways inside. And that makes me very happy. :)

[Cara]

Oh my goodness they are cute!

[Nicky at Not My Mother]

I'm a pepsi max girl but then I've found drinks taste different in different countries so who knows what Pepsi Max tastes like in your part of the world.

I have the same problem with edges as you! I'm fine with heights and will happily stand on a metal footbridge over a waterfall as long as there's a railing, but any sort of edge and I get woozy and worry that I'll accidentally fling myself off. I'm also rubbish on getting down ladders. Someone told me this was vertigo but my brief consultation with Dr Google didn't agree.

[Sam]

I can't do Diet Coke, either. I have utilized Coke Zero but I would have to virtually chug it so I wouldn't notice how bad it tasted. So I just stick with Coke, for better or worse. Or Red Bull. I love Red Bull, because it tastes like crushed up Sweetarts, and if I leave the can in my car? My car smells great!

So excited about Patrick's tree house! And I loved the ticket idea for bed time. Please take a picture of Patrick's library cards...they sound awesome.

[tree town gal]

"It's how I saw you in the job, explained Patrick" -- May you always write and share your children with us. Patrick slays me - he absolutely slays me.

[Lb]

I've noticed as a parent that it's possible to waste a lot of energy worrying about things that you aren't really worried about. Like sleeping through the night. After years of fussing about my kids not sleeping through (but not actually doing anything about it) I decided that if I couldn't be bothered to work at it it must not be bugging me that much. And lo, it wasn't. True story.

[Jessica]

Re: Lb "I decided that if I couldn't be bothered to work at it it must not be bugging me that much."

That is exactly how I feel about potty training. I prefer diapers.

[Tine]

Hate Coke, love Diet Coke. But I prefer tea over both, so I can agree with you on that anyway.

I took a 5-day trip to Colorado in July to visit my sis out there. When I came back, we had a new treehouse (strikingly similar, at least in height and basic structure) to yours in our front yard. No city inspector has asked to see our building permit yet, but I fully expect someone to stop by and demand it any day now.

[m]

The tragic thing is that it's actually perfectly possible to make a decent cup of tea in on-the-road-type venues. The British do it all the time. I'm so happy for that when I'm there. Maybe we will gain the technology (which I believe consists of scalding water plus giant tea bags) someday.

[Judy]

Your treehouse brings back memories of our own. My dad spotted nailed on boards to our huge elm tree and found out we girls were trying to build a treehouse. He took over, & designed a 'real' house -- octagonal with interchangeable windows and screens, 3 removable hammocks that slept two per bed and were hung bunk bed style (to accomodate up to 6!), a small combo electric heater/fan/light hung in the ceiling. A telephone was installed, Sylvania donated a portable TV and Life Magazine did a write up of the house with it's iron spiral staircase about 35 feet up in the air! We loved it -- sadly Dutch Elm Disease killed the tree and eventually the house and stairs had to come down. Know that all of you will have a fantastic adventure with your own treehouse! :)

[Kim]

Now you need a roadtrip to the British Isles, just to experience decent tea whilst traveling. Australia would work, too, and NZ, although I'm just guessing on that last one. Clearly I need a fact finding trip there!

[Sarah]

When I was a teen in the Baltimore area, hot Dr. Pepper was served at sports events in the winter. Hot Dr. Pepper with a slice of lemon. If you like Dr. Pepper at all, it's not bad, especially if you are freezing.
I so much appreciate the frequent posts.

[tgsdmom]

So nice to have the frequent posts. And the pictures in this one: of smiling Patrick & Steve and the hugging twins - is better than any scenery.

[Lawmommy]

Diet Dr. Pepper is the bomb. And someone needs to invent a way to make good tea on the road, but I've yet to find it. (I will concede that Celestial Seasonings True Blueberry Tea tastes quite good without much effort and just hot water, but that's an herbal tea with no caffeine.) My absolutely favorite description of how to make a proper cup of tea comes from the late great Douglas Adams (author of The Hitchhiker's Guide books) and which can be found here: http://mayatea.com/2009/07/douglas-says-it-best/

It's worth reading because it 1.) is a very effective method for making tea and 2.) is funny

[Olivia]

I remember the first time I tried Diet Dr. Pepper. Totally had the same thought. Now I drink one every day.

And I agree with LB. There are a lot of things that society, family, friends, media tell us we parents should worry about or not allow. But, in the end, if it really doesn't bother me and my kid is happy and safe then I don't really care what anyone else does.

[Jess]

Nicky - "any sort of edge and I get woozy and worry that I'll accidentally fling myself off":

YES! To a lesser degree, I have visions of accidentally opening the car door while travelling at highway speeds and flinging myself out of the car. I was told by someone that it is an OCD tendency to visualize scenarios like that.

[Sheila Z]

Heights only bother me when little kids are near them. Tree house for 7 or 8 yr old I'm totally comfortable. Same with climbing trees. These situations could be dangerous, but most likely it will be bruises, sprained ankle or a broken arm. Not fun, but a part of childhood and they will heal. It's bridges, waterfalls, cliffs and other hundred feet plus drop offs that give me the quaking knees. There is no recovery or fixing a fall that far.

Dr Pepper = carbonated prune juice... that's exactly what it tastes like!

[Shana in Texas]

Patrick is just so WOW.

[Jenn]

My mom refused to go through the front door of a house we were looking at because it gave her vertigo. Luckily she can go through the garage, as we're hoping to buy it.

I love the tea kettles in England. I don't know if it's the heat or the tea blend buy teathere tastes so much better than tea here. And ih I have to drink diet soda, Diet Dr. Pepper is about the best there is.

Also, and completely apropos of nothing, I saw 2 cars with Minnesota plates on my drive home today. Maybe not strange to you, but they are rare in NJ.

[Monica C.]

My 7 year old asked me what Dr. Pepper tastes like and I said, "It tastes like Coke ... but spicy" and then I mumbled (and gross) - b/c Dr. Pepper is just eeewww.

OK, so that is too funny that Patrick drew you smoking - as a library manager! Does he sense that his Mom was once a fun-loving patron of the party scene? :)

[Genevieve]

There are many bottled iced teas which I find nice, including some with mint -- Teas' Tea Jasmine Green with Mint, and Honest Tea Moroccan Mint. They're not sweetened much so they're low-calorie or no calorie, depending on the brand (Diet Snapple is also no calorie, and some Honest Tea is higher calorie, though nowhere near what a coke is).
I take them into work with me, since I prefer a cold drink in the morning three seasons out of the year. They would work on the road.

[KatieV]

The tree house picture is SO great. You're right--I don't think I remember seeing Patrick smile so big. Father-son bonding melts my heart. My brother has very fond memories of building a similarly-way-off-the-ground treehouse with our dad.

Totally off topic: a friend's sister just found out she has MTHFR (is that right?) and I was like, "Yes! I know that! A friend of mine has dealt with that!" and they asked who the friend was. Then I went through a confusing, "Well, I don't KNOW her..." explanation that left me looking silly.

[EW]

OT: Saw this article today, and thought of you guys, especially as you are battling infections. I know you are a fan of the Neti pot, but are you using it with tap water or sterile water? Tap water may not be a good idea (not that you have this amoeba in your MN water, but still...)

http://news.yahoo.com/3-die-rare-brain-infection-amoeba-water-001505888.html

[Robyn]

Patrick! What an amazing kid. The twinks, too, but seriously, Patrick? "It's how I saw you in the job..." just slays me.

[Laurel]

Okay, I completely loved your post but have nothing incisive to say about it... however one thing that *I* love about *you* is that your comments are often as interesting and as funny as the post itself. So thank you m for the LOL you gave me about British tea-making technology; and also I reallly really really need Judy to post a picture of, and/or links to the story about, the completely awesome treehouse of her childhood. What a story!

[Candy]

Your story was really ifnmoartive, thanks!