Trip.2011.7

Today we just wanted to get there so the plan was to skip the scenic and take the interstate. Fortunately even I-90 is rather attractive in Washington because we have been going about three miles per hour for the past ten miles (hey! a lovely river. right there. still there since we have stopped completely on this bridge. ok. now we're moving again. bye river) and we're getting the opportunity to really absorb it. Steve probably missed a few lovely things driving 80 through Montana but now he can appreciate every cloud and pine needle with the rest of us.

Actually we seem to have collectively abandoned looking out the window for the time being. Patrick is working on a math puzzle book, Caroline and Edward are watching a collection of Mater shorts and I'm writing this while avoiding eye contact with Steve who is simmering (he hates being stuck in traffic.)

I just briefly removed my headphones (Mumford & Sons - so good) and heard Caroline saying "Are we in Seattle? Are we in Seattle? Are we in Seattle?" while Patrick asked "When are we going to get there?" and Edward said "Pace Needle! PACE NEEDLE!"

Steve said "At this rate we'll get there by nightfall" and kinda glared at me like I should be using my witchy powers to clear the road ahead of us.

I put my headphones back on.

Oh lord. Caroline has just announced a need for a bathroom break. I have no idea where the next exit is, we're crawling along and this is not a child who will consider going in public. In the woods, maybe, but on the side of a busy highway? No. You will sooner see the Queen of England engaged in such an undignifed ditch crouch than Caroline.

That reminds me of a story I heard a couple of months ago. We went to dinner with friends and they told us about the time they were travelling with their now college-aged daughters. Back when the youngest was barely three they drove from Chicago to Minneapolis and at some random point she announced that she needed to pee. Urgently. Without an exit in sight they pulled off to the side of the highway and were about to help her when a police car pulled up behind them. He got out and started to ticket them for stopping illegally. They explained that their recently trained daughter had had an emergency, fully expecting the officer to say ah well chuckle chuckle we've all been there. Instead he said, "If that child relieves herself I'll throw another ticket at you."

So they had to put the little girl back into the car where she promptly wet herself and began to cry. The cop fined them $150.

As a guest in this state I hate to criticize but, seriously, Washington, you have a dearth of restrooms between Ellensburg and Snoqualmie.

+

When I was in kindergarten my brother came down from his third grade classroom every day to have lunch with me until I felt brave enough to manage the world on my own. That was when I realized he was the greatest person the world has ever known and it pleases me to know that nothing in the intervening 35 years has occurred to alter my opinion. I love my older brother so much.

+

Tomorrow - the car ferry. Edward cannot wait.

Comments

[Lise]

I'm with Steve. Being stuck in traffic makes me gnash my teeth. Being stuck in traffic when I just want to GET THERE AND SEE THE PEOPLE I LOVE makes me just a wee bit crazy.

[Sheridan]

That is some brother! How lucky you are!

And how lucky are we with a daily blog post? LOVE IT.

[Julia]

I am currently road tripping it in the opposite direction as you. Today is the last day, and I cannot wait for it to be over.

BTW, what happened to Trip.2011.6?

[Angie]

OMG, that completely sounds like a WI State Trooper -- I'm guessing that poor girl had to pee somewhere between Madison and Eau Claire. I have no love for the State Patrol in this state.

Sorry about the traffic jam. I can relate to Steve -- I HATE not moving in a car. That's what they are for.

[Laurie]

Traffic sucks. Traffic in a car with three kids? Shoot me now.

Love the daily posts!

[Jen]

Daily posting is nirvana.

[Lynnette Baduteandeggs]

Too bad she couldn't aim for the troopers boots...I would have taken the extra ticket for that! Sheesh. What a jerk.

Also loving the daily log.

[christi]

Love reading about your trip - as it unfolds! It's getting me ready for our upcoming vacation in Sept... not a road trip, but we’ll be spending a long, LONG time on the plane. We'll be expecting random boxes from Amazon soon.

[Brandi]

Sorry about the traffic. My husband is the same as Steve in that regard.

Re: Police officer: Wow. What an asshole.

Have to say i'm loving the daily posts SOOOO much! I'm going to miss them!

Hope you reach Seattle sooner rather than later. :)

[AnnaN]

I am loving your daily trip updates - thanks so much!

[Lippy]

Oh, the story of your brother made me tear up a bit. My oldest will be in third grade and my middle child will be in kindergarten this year and he just would never do that for his sister, he is too busy picking on her. sigh

[Noelle]

What a complete a-hole that guy was!! My money's on a Deputy Doogie Howser with the Camp Douglas Sheriff's Department...? Or someone similar. This was the guy who not only ticketed us for only a few miles over the speed limit, but did so even though we told him we were in between Madison and St. Paul because Ted's dad dying in the hospital and we were hoping to get all our stuff and move back to St. Paul ASAP. PLUS, he said we had to pay the ticket IN CASH, which we didn't have and for which we had to drive all over town to finally get a CASH ADVANCE from our CREDIT CARD at a TRUCK STOP to which Doogie Howser drove us. I still think he got a cut from the huge fee we had to pay the truck stop (not to mention our credit card). This was back in late 1992.... perhaps the same jerk who ticketed your friends?? I hope he went on to have his own kids who had terrible gastric upset in his own damned truck on a road trip in traffic!

PHEW. Okay, I'm done now. ;-P

As for the pushing off feeding kids and being "carefree" and "just finding something that looks good" in a place you've never been before -- I can RELATE! Oh boy, can I relate!

I hope the traffic has eased up by now. Greetings to brother and SIL and the boys, and special huggles for that new one!

[Ellie]

Noelle, wow, I have never heard of a police officer demanding chash payment of a ticket right then and there. That doesn't sound legal.

Julia, may the traffic gods be smiling and get things moving! Or else, you know, be more proactive with those witchy powers!

[Sarah]

You need a travel potty!! They have fold up potties that take up as much space as a laptop and Caroline would never have to pee in a rest stop/nasty gas station bathroom again. You line the potty with a small trash bag and then just toss tie off and toss the contents. Clean, convenient, life-saver! Buy one in Seattle so you can drive home worry free! You won't believe how much less stressful a road trip is if you know there is a clean, appropriate place to pee traveling with you every mile of the way.

[Halyn]

Noelle, you got taken. That was a dirty cop.
As a Washington resident who suffers from digestive issues (Read: URGENCY) who has traveled all over the state, I can assure you that Washington has a dearth of public restrooms, period. It gets a bit better as you approach Seattle, but there are still longish stretches without. Godspeed.

As for the cop in Julia's story? I wish severe, sudden onset diarrhea when he is at the exact midpoint between two far-flung restrooms. What a tool.

[Kris]

We used to have to travel from lewiston idaho to seattle over highway 12 and then i90 to see my parents, and when I was heavily pregnant, I saw every rest area and plenty of side of the roads. there definitely are not enough bathrooms.

[Susan]

I'm also loving the daily posts! We started carrying a portable potty with us in the car during potty training and have found it useful on several long car trips. (It also proved extremely useful on a camping trip for those midnight pee breaks when no one wants to get out of the tent.)

http://www.amazon.com/Kalencom-2-in-1-Potette-Plus-Red/dp/B0016KV73W/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1312215612&sr=8-1

[Lauren]

Which island(s) are you going to? I live on one of them! But probably not one you will be visiting. However, if the smalls want to see baby chicks and grown-up turkeys and goats, one of whom is very friendly, you should email me ...

[Ginger]

We always bring a little kid's toilet with us on long trips. Works in the car, after you pull off the road. And gives an extra bathroom for when we get there. Just bring some papertowels and trash bags to "clean up" and until you can find a trash can. Sounds gross but it works for us.

[Kathryn T]

Make sure you grab a jacket out of the car when you get on the ferry. No matter how hot it is outside, it is ASS COLD up there on those decks with the wind howling around. And you definitely want to be up on the deck outside. Also be aware that sometimes as the ferry is arriving or departing, they fire off their airhorn, which is the loudest thing in the universe and might scare the twinkles.

[Dara]

I am so enjoying your family trip! Love, love the daily posts!

[Christine]

Oh I kind of love your brother too after that story.

The cop who gave your friends the ticket for pulling over, though? For him I hope that he has many children and/or pets who lack the ability to hold it. Double points if travel anxiety causes them to lose this ability in the car. What a jerk!

[Amy]

I love your brother!!!!! Hug him for me. I hope that doesn't sound icky, but I have an older brother and, well, let's just say our relationship has never been like yours :-)

[tree town gal]

I am always charmed when you speak so lovingly of your brother... ever girl needs a brother like that. I think it helps them expect more of men, in general.

And ditto on the travel potty.

[Monica C.]

What an awesome older brother. I hope my younger daughter grows up to recognize what an amazingly loving older sister she has!

[Pam L]

Awww! Brothers! I hope my two young(ish) men remain close even though they are 7 years apart. It would pain me if they weren't but so far big-brother is a great brother.

[LMM]

So last summer, Lucy (then 2 and a half) were driving up north for our family trip, following John who was driving a second car ahead of us. We got a bit north of the cities and traffic. just. stopped.
All three lanes.
Nothing moving.
We had been crawling for 30 minutes when Lucy just lost it and started screaming in the back seat. Not crying. SCREAMING.
"Mommy! You have to get us out of this BERRY JAM RIGHT NOW! I CAN'T SIT HERE ANYMORE! MOVE!"
I was about ready to scream myself but her confusing "traffic jam" and "berry jam" made it at least a little funny.
John texting me that his foot was starting to hurt from riding the clutch in his quiet, kid-free car? Not so funny. ;)

[SarcastiCarrie]

@LMM - You should have offered to both pull over and you'd be willing to swap cars....take the clutch and all. Taking one for the team, so to speak.

I have heard of out-of-state drivers being required to pay the ticket on the spot because something about not accepting your out-of-state driver's license as collateral.

[Nancy]

nothing for day 6 (31July)?

[Amy]

Welcome to Seattle! We are treating you to our very finest weather - enjoy! The ferry is awesome - if by chance you are going to Bainbridge I have some restaurant suggestions - Streamliner Diner for a nice greasy spoon breakfast or Hitchcock for a fancy dinner if by chance you can sneak away for a night out....

[Dawn]

When I was in grade 4 and my brother in grade 8 and home sick with German measles, he told me off for going to his teacher to ask if he had any homework I could take home to him. Not because of the homework thing, but because my very existence was just such a huge embarrassment to him.

You won the brother sweepstakes!

[Melissa K.]

Three interesting things to know about the car ferry - One, you can go outside on the upper deck and stand there in the wind and take photos (and FREEZE if you don't have a jacket on) and the kids will love it!

Two, there are lots of vending machines. I don't know whether you have any Confirmed Gamblers in your brood, but my four-year-old plays the vending machines like he's on a winning streak and the very next thing he vends could just be the jackpot! Bring change or steer clear.

Three: Near the cafeteria there is a wall chart that describes the "language" of the ship's horn, i.e. this many blasts of this length means the ship is docking, is turning, is on fire, etc. I'm sure you and Patrick can parlay this information into any number of games, given a little time?

Enjoy this seafairing portion of your trip!

[Beth]

I'm just catching up after driving back from our vacation, or I could have warned you that I90 over the pass would be having lots of construction. They closed the whole thing for an hour or so last Wednesday so they could blow up the cliff walls or something; we made it through by about two minutes! I have never been so glad to skip the potty stop in Ellensberg in my life. Anyway, I suspect they are still cleaning up all the rocks on the road from the explosions last week.

[Alexicographer]

Oh dear for your friend, what a dreadful officer. Some years back I was traveling north on a 10-hour, one-day road trip, solo, on a holiday weekend. Traffic was completely, 100% stopped on the interstate but I needed to pee, and the next exit was about a mile ahead ... so I pulled over very cautiously onto the (open) shoulder, flashers on, and drove toward the exit. A cop stopped me, of course I shouldn't have been there (but! I really did have to go! I had been planning a pee break anyway, and then traffic stopped, and it really was stopped and -- have I mentioned, I needed to pee!), he was gruff, but not unkind. At least one person had died in a bad accident, which was what was blocking the traffic, so, you know, my problems were small, anyway (and his gruffness entirely understandable), I did end up relieving myself behind some trees up on the hill after being stopped, and I did contest the ticket which was dropped (by the time traffic court rolled around, a month or two later, I'd guess the cop was himself more mellow about what I'd done and, again, I admit it -- I shouldn't have been on the shoulder. I know it's kept open for emergency vehicles) -- I didn't have to show up, it was out-of-state, just hired a lawyer and paid him $150. So adjusting for inflation I think I came out ahead of your friends, plus, again, good grief, what a jerk the cop who scared/upset their little girl was.

Um, hope/trust you're out of traffic by now?

[Hetty Fauxvert]

Um, hate to be the one to criticize, even the teensiest bit, since I practically jump up and down with glee every time you post something new, but ... really? You didn't bring along a little potty on this trip? We took our twin four year-olds on an extended trip this summer, and believe you me, that little potty in the back of the van saved our bacon (and sanity) more than once. Stop somewhere in Seattle and get yourself one! Little frog potty, twelve bucks at Tarjay, worth a mint.

[Heather]

Huh. Being from Washington, I thought everywhere had this many potties. There are places there's more? Absolute yes on traveling with kids and a potty. Dude, I've made my six yr old use it!

[Betsy]

I'll jump on the travel potty train here. Next to our sit-n-stroll when the kids were little, this is the best piece of child gear we ever purchased. Oh, wait, those little seats you hang from the table instead of having to use the restaurant high chair would be right up there, too....

But seriously, that travel potty is the best thing ever. New baggie every time, no mess, no fuss, always available. It was a lifesafer when my kids were first potty training, too, and the answer to "Can you hold it? Just for a moment?" was always no!

[SallyG]

MUMFORD!!! Love them so much and they were amazing in concert last month.

Enjoying the vicarious vacation very much!

[M]

Another travel story.

Super conservative, salt of the earth, was a private in the army before he went to college and med school kind of guy, was driving on the highway with his family (two small kids).

5 year old says he really needs to pee. Dad says "you have to wait for an exit". Son says "it's an emergency". Dad says "you have to wait". Son says "now, I really have to go now!". Dad says "you have to wait".

Son shouts "Dammit!"

Dad pulls over. Son gets out. Son pees.

The end.

[laziza]

1 - I'm so enjoying these daily posts!

2 - Your story about your brother made me a little verklempt. We have a two-year-old boy and a one-year-old girl. (Why, yes, we ARE insane. Why do you ask?) That's exactly the kind of relationship I'm hoping they have some day.

[Pam L]

Would Miss Caroline USE a travel potty on the side of the road I'm wondering? I'm not sure she would. It was 3 little girls in my parents car and we did the open the two passenger side doors and squat in between thing, gave us a little privacy and we only usually drove a few hours a day on trips. Never made it to Utica (2 hours) without stopping at LEAST once.

[Heidi]

My son adores the Space Needle and points it out every time we drive downtown. Enjoy the ferry - that's a big hit with him too!

[Crystal]

Which one? Bremerton is my favorite, because it's the longest route without going to Canada. :)

I am always at the front with the water misting my face and wind in my hair. We vacationed on Olympia last year looking for horse property when we still had some hope of finding more than 20 acres for less than a cool half a mil, and the whole family left me for the comforts of indoors, it was misting you see (what else?). Except Drew, my little cuddle bunny, who wanted to be outside with Mama enjoying the wild winds of Puget Sound (that little body of water his eldest brother once called a "pond").

Drew is now officially a reader of your blog. He is obsessed with reading over my shoulder, and you (er, Edward) had him at "I'm going to build this tree"....

I heart Steve. If his desire to outdo Ted Turner ever sends you packing, I'll trade you my citified husband and angsty (but enormously well behaved and domestically proficient) eldest son. I must admit I wouldn't burden Steve with the likes of me, but for the opportunity to share a giant slice of solitude, I'd happily agree to an open "relationship". Say, really, really open. Perhaps he could build me a shack somewhere his scope could not possibly detect me.

I'm a bit antisocial like that. Other than my kids and husband, I kinda like horses better than people. So... just offering, you know, to relieve you of your burden (stop laughing hysterically, Julia, no need to be mean about it!). :)

I dunno. Julia, my husband spent nearly 15 years fighting my dream of living in the stumps, and yet now that we're here, he is ecstatic. If you played your cards right, I think you and Steve could find a way to both get what you wanted...

And life is too short.... It's not so bad out here. Or out there. :)

[Libby]

Are you going to the San Juans? Please tell me you're going to the San Juans. I live in Seattle (hi - are you here right now?) and try to go at least once a year.

Thank you for the trip updates - I am thoroughly enjoying them.

[Jennifer C.]

I would have had her pee into the air vents on his hood.
I've had the opposite problem - mine are absolutely gleeful at the idea of "peeing under a tree," and one has not lived until one has picked up toddler poop from the yard along with the dog's.
Is your brother single? I have attributes, obviously.

[Ginny]

Damn! Here we were, getting a vicarious vacation with you and now we've been stuck in traffic for three days. Where are you? Are we having fun yet?

[Karen]

I love hearing about your trip - my husband and I are big travelers and he's worried that once we have a kid we won't be able to go on as many road trips so I'll make him read this so he knows it can be done (maybe I'll skip over the story about the poor kid wetting herself because of that evil cop - my husband is very protective of his car). Also, yay for Mumford & Sons, aren't they great?!

[janonymous]

By contrast, an Arkansas state trooper (who pulled up to check on us as we were cleaning up my 3-yr-old who had gotten carsick) apologized for not having spare toddler clothes on hand.

My brother chauffered me to--and held my hand through--my labor induction for my 2nd kid. Pretty brave for a bachelor. (My husband was at 2nd day of new job, which was providing us with health insurance, and couldn't join me until we knew I was in labor.)

[michelrmom]

Aww your brother sounds fantastic (so very different from mine). Glad you got to spend some nice family time with him, and the pics of him and Caroline are beautiful.