Vinaignette

In no particular order:

1. Caroline and Patrick and I all caught the virus that made Edward's recovery from surgery much more annoying than it might otherwise have been. Caroline spent some time dabbing at a stuffy nose and hiding a delicate, ladylike cough behind her hand. My throat hurt for a weekend and then I sounded like Phyllis Diller. Patrick had a little congestion and a bit of a cough but it wasn't too bad and I thought he would rally like a Kappa. Three weeks later, however, it became obvious to even the worst observer (me) that far from rallying he has developed a sinus infection. Or perhaps I should say he has developed another sinus infection in the hope that italics will better convey my concern and frustration and DIDN'T HE JUST HAVE HIS FACE EXCAVATED TO AVOID THIS?

I called the ENT and she said she'd see him for his second follow-up (as scheduled) in two weeks and in the meantime we should take him into his pediatrician as soon as possible. So I did and the on-call doctor clucked and pressed on his face and read his chart and clucked some more and said, "Wow he really has been on everything hasn't he?" and I said yep.

She asked him if he had really taken the clindamycin - twice! - and he said he had. She told him that he was the first kid she had ever met who had managed to get that stuff down and Patrick looked gratified.

"I did it for the sweettarts," he said, giving credit where credit was due and she said whatever his motivation she was still impressed. Then she wrote him a prescription for omnicef which tastes about 4500% less like rancid ass and which has been effective for him in the past. He's on day three of that and I think he seems much better but it is really really really hard to tell with Patrick. He has had a bacterial infection more or less constantly for three or four or five years and thus doesn't have a great sense of what normal feels like - like, doesn't everyone feel as if their head is a bowling ball filled with glue and pudding?

My poor baby. I am beginning to feel like one of the those Washington Post articles in which they recount the story of some family who spends years going from doctor to doctor until someone finally diagnoses Hedgehog fever or whatever. Obviously we are seeing physicians and obviously you are just casual bystanders but if you have any ideas on what we might be missing with him - what could be causing his seemingly nonstop bacterial sinus swampitude - I'd love to hear them.

2. Despite the infection Patrick has been in high spirits. He loves the new school and I am trying to ignore the fact that I think he likes it so much because they seem to have recess five times a day, he gets to take art, his first book report was a diorama, they have already had a fossil hunting field trip and this week the entire fourth grade was pulled out of their classes all week to stage a play.

He was cast as a bird. No lines but he got to dance. Dance. Patrick. On stage. HA! I loved it.

Best of all he has two new friends he seems to really enjoy, one of whom he talks about more than I have ever heard him talk about anyone, um, ever. I asked him to describe her to me so I could pick her out during the play and he said, "She has long blonde hair and she thinks I'm really funny."

Ohhh! THAT one.

I figured out which one she was despite the rather, may I say male, description he gave and when I saw her pose for a group photo I knew exactly why she and Patrick like each other. Clearly they have similar senses of humor (click here for her picture.) We're having her over to play soon and I look forward to meeting her.

It's funny. Once upon a time Patrick was the kid at preschool who sat in the song circle with his back to the group. He would still sing and climb his itsy-bitsy spider, he just did it facing the opposite direction from everyone else. Slowly over the years he has gotten a lot more... overtly silly? Or maybe just less self concious? These are from a few weeks ago and he abandoned his usual glower. Caroline never needs any encouragement to get funky. Edward is obviously wondering how long he is supposed to hold the damned smile.

3. Edward. Edward has been driving me bananas. I knew the transition from invalid to preschooler #24601 was going to be difficult but I had no idea it was going to be so. very. difficult. For the past two weeks any mention of school (or swimming. or errands. or my taking a shower - pretty much anything that doesn't involve him sitting on my lap, preferably curled up with a piping hot bowl of TV) has resulted in atomic tantrums. He has screeeeeeeaaamed the entire way to school. He has fought me as I carried him into the classroom. And then he has wept and shouted and all but rent his garments when I left.

I tried to encourage him to use his words and he said, "I don't yike cool. I don't yike my teachers. I don't yike the toys or the payground. There is no fun for me there. I want to stay with you."

Which, ok, good. Got it. I understand. However, um, how to say? I understand that you prefer to eat popsicles and watch Disney Junior while I rub your back (who wouldn't?) but I need you to go to school so that I can balance the checkbook, pick up my library books and organize the shoe cubby for winter. It's not that I don't understand, Edward, it's just that I don't care all that much.

Since it is impossible to explain this to anyone (I love you, my darling, but I shall continue to place my needs above your own) let alone a three year old without having them sharply draw in their breath we have continued to exist at a screamy impasse. I mentioned to my mother that I was beginning to dread interacting with Edward and she tsk'd and thought for a bit and finally suggested a sticker chart.

"Sticker chart?" I thought but I am a dutiful child (unlike Edward) and this morning I used a marker and some of Patrick's card stock and put together Edward's Smile Chart. I thought "smile" was a nice, positive euphemism for "no more tantrums you little horror" and I told Edward that if he managed to make it all the way to school without screaming etc he would get a sticker on his chart and after ten stickers he'll get something special (TBD.) Imagine my surprise when it actually worked. He was a little teary when I walked out the door but all told it was pretty amazing.

Caroline, of course, played her twin card and got in on the Smile Chart action as well although the idea of rewarding Caroline for cheerfully going to preschool is ludicrous.

She started tumbling a few weeks ago and she loves it. She takes her practice very seriously and god knows we want to encourage her but I would like to point out that these pictures were taken as I was trying to park the car. In the garage. Right there. As in: she asked me to stop the car and let her out so I did and she raced in front of me and started stretching in the exact space I was about to put the car. Then she looked indignant when I tried to evict her from her studio space. It was kinda like the beginning of Rent.

4.

Three pictures of me and Edward playing with the self-timer just like an olde photo boothe.

One

Two

Three

5.

I have started running again and I need new music. Mumford & Sons and the Decemberists are just not cutting it. What do you listen to when you exercise?  

Comments

[Hetty Fauxvert]

Oh! Forgot to mention re Eddie-Bear ... well, really, do you blame him? He FINALLY got Mommy all to himself (bless his heart!), plus popsicles, plus TV ... why on earth would he want to go back to school? ;o)

I can only say what I'd do iffen it was my kid. I'd shrug and say, okay, you can stay home. But no TV. And then I would hide the remote (just in case), and be perpetually just a little too busy to play with him more than five minutes at a time, or read him stories, or whatever. Just a little too busy with my own stuff to be sympathetic or interesting. I would bore him into submission. After three days of home boredom, I would think (perhaps incorrectly, who knows) that he would be *begging* to go back to the far more interesting place: preschool.

[Heidi]

Oh man, it must be so discouraging for Patrick AND you... Here's hoping it gets figured out.

Have you explored Pandora? If you like a particular type of music, more options are offered up. It's a great way to discover new musical groups.

[elspeth]

OMG the pictures! all so adorable...
maybe you could make caroline's sticker chart about something else, to get more benefit out of it? like, say, not-practicing-tumbling-in-the-driveway, or some type of age-appropriate helping-out-around-the-house.

[Jaida]

I just love your blog so, so much. No real input on the Patrick situation, just empathy for your frustration and his misery. I was sick a ton as a kid and it's just no fun.

Re: the pictures of you. Holy crap, you're gorgeous! No wonder you have such beautiful kids. You are your husband are Beautiful People!

Confession: my family and I moved to the west suburbs of Mpls a year ago and I keep hoping maybe I'll see you somewhere :) I can't quite pinpoint where you guys live (uh, and I promise I'm not attempting to stalk you) but I always keep my eyes open.

And finally, your sticker success is the final push I need to start something similar for my 2.5 year old who is exhausting me with her tantrums.

[Jaida]

Oh, and for running I love:

Pretty much any Eminem
Martin Solveig "Hello"
Michael Franti "Say Hey"

[Elizabeth]

About Patrick--You are probably more attentive than we are and are already doing this, but have you kept up with the saline spray? After my son's surgery we were really on top of it in the beginning and then sort of forgot. He got all stuffed up again and when I called the nurse at the ENT office she instructed us to flush his nose 4-5 times s day for a week and it seemed to help. I hope you do find out what is going on!

[amy]

They are so adorable! All of them! They look a lot like you too, I love the photo-booth style pictures!

[Alicia]

Handsome Furs (Face Control is a good album for the running). Japandroids (I like the song Wet Hair, in particular). Girls (not everything, but Lust for Life and Morning Light are good songs for running). Wolf Parade. LCD Soundsystem. Black Lips. Paul Simon 'Graceland.' Vampire Weekend. Kanye, Eminem, Drake. You should set up a Drop Box so people can send you their favourite running songs and you can upload your favourite running songs and everyone gets new running music.

[lacey]

Oh oh--totally seconding the Try Going Off Dairy suggestions. When I said "celiac disease / gluten allergy," I meant including dairy. Oh, what? That wasn't implied? :-)

[carrie]

Caroline is an awesome little girl, no advice on Patrick, and Edward is just going to have to get used to going to school as he will have many, many years of it to go. Pull him out now and you are just setting the stage for the future when pulling him out isn't an option, unless you plan to home school.

[seven]

Our sticker/reward/chore chart is specific to each child. Some new ones I am pondering for mine are "No tantrums for a whole day." "No stomping feet for a whole day." And "Listening the first time I am asked."

I'm not sure what would be helpful for Caroline, but I would make it useful for you and her and not the same as Edward's.

For my sinus trouble, I have been doing the salt water flush, along with taking a tsp of apple cider vinegar in a cup of warm water in the morning. Followed with another glass of water. It doesn't taste good, not sure it is kid friendly. Good luck.

[Nicole]

Hi, long time reader, rarely (never?) comment, think you and your family are awesome etc... Breaking my vow of silence today to be the fourth or fifth person to chime in and suggest the possibility of an immune deficiency for Patrick. This is often missed by Dr.'s because it manifests as chronic infections which they then treat with drugs and surgeries -not a bad idea, but won't work if there is an underlying immune problem. From what you've written, Patrick has a pretty classic presentation of immune deficiency. Please don't wait any longer - request the blood work to check on this. I almost lost my daughter last year to an infection that became so severe that she was hospitalized for 2 weeks. She’s receiving treatments now and is doing well.
Please don’t make my mistake and think because the ENT or pediatrician hasn’t suspected this it couldn’t be accurate – my daughters ENT laughed aloud when I suggested her chronic ear/sinus infections could be immune related so I dismissed the idea for over a year. After her hospitalization, the immunologist took one look at her chart and made the diagnosis (later confirmed with blood work of course.)

[Melissa]

I enjoy Rhianna while running.

[Lisa]

I had pretty much continuous sinus infections from age 11 to age 20 when I moved from the wet and ecologically vibrant Northeast to Southern California, which is basically a desert. Mine were generally allergy-based in nature, so I think moving to a climate with way less allergens really helped me a lot. (And leaving my parents' house with their plethora of pets that I later turned out to be allergic to.) I know you've probably already ruled this out but does he have allergies? Maybe a daily Claritin could help? The other thing I wonder, I know you mentioned you thought there might be something environmental going on -- maybe mold somewhere in the walls? That's all I can think to offer, hope it may help somehow.

[winecat]

"like, doesn't everyone feel as if their head is a bowling ball filled with glue and pudding?" Doesn't everyone? I sure do, I'm suggesting allergies as well. I can't remember if you've had Patrick tested or not.

I must say it's very narrow minded of you to ask Caroline to remove herself from her tumbling space just so you can park the car : )

The old photo booth pictures of you and Edward are adorable.

[Eva]

Quick comment on sticker charts. My son had a sticker chart for potty training when his twin sister was long trained. Of course she wanted a chart too so we set one up for dressing herself. If there's something else you want Caroline to work on this could be a good context.

[Robin]

Did anyone already say podcasts? If so, my apologies for not reading all the comments. Look up the Another Mother Runner (they also go by Run Like a Mother) podcasts -- and their book and Facebook pages are great, too! I usually run with a friend and don't really enjoy running to music (get bored by it easily). Podcasts have been a better replacement for real conversation. What about books on tape? Or I've been finding great podcasts on all sorts of topics that I like and can't explore when my two-year-old twins insist on the Raffi CD over and over in the car.

[Chaya]

As a veteran Briber of Children, I suggest that you purchase Edward's something special now and put it on a high shelf (are there Caroline-safe spaces in your home? Hmm) so that when the newness of the chart wears off, you can point to a tangible reward.

A speedy healing to everyone! Sorry to hear about the recurring infections.

[TheLuckyGal]

I am with Kristina and Robin - music isn't usually distracting enough for me for exercising so I listen to podcasts (I live in Australia now so I listen to the NPR and CBC shows I miss - Wait Wait, This American Life, Vinyl Cafe) and audio books. Sometimes I do couch-to-5K podcasts - right now I like the NHS ones (search in iTunes).

[Meegan]

I love reading your posts. I get so excited to see a new one!

Daft Punk, Beastie Boys, Avett Brothers (although can be a little mellow, just really good!). Throw in a little Beyonce and you're good to go!

[Jen]

Hope and Social. You will like, I promise........ Superb running, driving, cooking, anything music. Warning... Highly addictive. Start with 'April' (previous album).

Ps get well soon Patrick

[Madelyn]

Good Patrick advice/ideas above, so I'll add to running music. The Go! Team is very very energizing. And 90s Madonna always keeps my pace up.

[Andrea]

I make a playlist that is the length I want to workout (so when the music is done so am I) and then I kick it old school - my sharon a, brick house, etc....)

[Kate (Bee In The Bonnet)]

I listen to hip-hop and/or hardcore rap when I run. The beats and the angry misogynistic lyrics really motivate me. What can I say? This girl loves to shout some ugly words while she pounds out the miles.
Eminem, Tribe Called Quest/Q-Tip, Ludacris, Ice Cube, Dr. Dre, The Roots, Outkast-- if any of this interests you (or you'd just like to try something different), I'll be glad to copy/paste my specific playlist and send it over to you. I also throw in a few peppy tracks by Nena (of 99 Luftballons fame, though not that track), Lily Allen, Justin Timberlake, Madonna, etc. to break up the style a bit.

Also, if you use the Nike+ system at all, if you go on their website (hey, I guess you don't have to actually use the system to look at the Nike website, huh?) and search for running playlists, they've got some good ones. I think they even have an iTunes playlist of user-voted-upon best running tracks (think Eye Of The Tiger, OK Go, other popular upbeat tunes). I have a few of those in my running mix, too.

[Linda]

I have to wonder why Lady Gaga has not been mentioned--has she become music for the over-60-walking crowd (of which I am one)? & Adele & Ting-Tings & Katy Perry (all suggestions from my daughter-in-law & now on my iPod). P.S. I do love reading about you & your children; thanks for sharing.

[Crystal]

Aside from wanting to (kinda, in theory) steal your husband, I'd also like to offer to relieve you of your Mother should you ever feel the need. Mine has passed to the great beyond, and sadly, I didn't have a spare.

My exercise these days involves chasing children, horses, goats, or cursing husbands, putting up fences, building sheds and other quasi-dangerous activities. What I listen to is the sound of my blood pounding against my eardrums. Strangely, it can be rather soothing....

LOL, bless your Mom.... Well played.

[kelli]

I'm going with milk sensitivity for Patrick. I cut out nearly all dairy six months ago and have never felt better, specifically less gunky overall. Being from Wisconsin this was a serious feat. Either way it's worth a shot, easy enough to try.

[Maggie]

Ahhh, Edward is reminding me of my youngest, and I just started her sticker chart this weekend! I'm at my wits end with her and her will is way more than I can handle. But, the stickers have worked so far. I am holding my breath, hoping... I hope Patrick feels better soon. Caroline is an inspiration.

[Tricia]

Another vote for the possibility of food sensitivities. My son was a CONSTANT mucus-filled mess for years -- ears, sinuses, nose, lungs. We cut out gluten, dairy, and soy and he became a different child almost overnight. His congestion cleared, his allergic shiners faded away, he stopped constantly sniffling and clearing his throat. We'd had him tested for basic allergies (IgE) and nothing came up. Despite this, his pediatrician wanted us to start him on a long list of anti-histamines and other allergy meds. I declined because I didn't see the point in using anti-histamines with negative IgE tests. We ran IgG tests (some people swear by them, some people claim they're meaningless). We removed the foods that caused the greatest reactions and his life literally changed!!

[Christiana]

I am embarrassed to admit that my iPod is probably much like a pre-teens, but I like the Glee soundtrack and Kelly Clarkson to motivate me.

And wow are those pics of you and Edward adorable. So cute.

[Deanna]

This is unrelated to this post but related to one you wrote a month or so ago: CarSeatBlog.com has a video review of the 2012 Mazda 5 and how it fits with car seats. My husband, Mr. Austerity Budget, saw the review and nearly swooned. http://carseatblog.com/13683/it-puts-the-mini-back-into-the-minivan-the-mazda-5-kids-carseats-safety-review/

[Minneapolismama]

I seem to be alone here on this, but I really like to work out to dance music. I've been listening to the new David Guetta album a lot, along with Swedish House Mafia, Dash Berlin, and a little Chris Brown. I think the longer dance mix versions are really motivating.

[Brandi]

No suggestions here on either problem, but all this talk of exercise prompted me to get on my exercise bike for the first time in a while! So thanks for motivating me!

[Andi]

Because you mentioned the Decemberists and because you read and because I love your blog:

http://www.kirkusreviews.com/blog/childrens/conversation-colin-meloy-maile-meloy/

Not ONLY because I crave recognition from strangers.

[Moumay]

I too run to the playlist of a (foul-mouthed) 13 year old girl. The awesome/appaling lyrics keep me pretty pumped. Katy perry, ke$ha (the most ridiculous, & the best), Britney spears, Rihanna (disturbia is great) pink, lady gaga...
More indy- the format's give it up, passion pit's sleepyhead, Josh ritters' to the dogs or whoever, Suzanne vega's when heroes go down.
Good luck with the ailments. I love your writing.

[Celeste]

If you end up getting skin tests from an allergist, take a picture of his back on your phone so you can show him what it looks like. We recently went trhough this with my nine, and she was so upset when the samples began to itch and welt. She calmed down when she saw the pic and decided it was very cool.

I hope you can nail down a Hedgehog Fever to treat.

[Amy]

I would have to agree with all the comments that suggest allergies. I've had all the surgeries and still get sinus infections occasionally - but only when my sinuses get really clogged up due to allergies. I know you guys use the neti pot, which is extremely useful during allergy season, but I would also suggest having Patrick evaluated for allergies. An over-the-counter allergy medicine like Clariton, and a prescription for a nasal spray, like Flonase, could work wonders.

I love all the pictures, especially the very last one of you and Edward. So cute!

I typically listen to Pop music for working out (Katy Perry, Pink), but I've also mixed in some Abba. Mamma Mia is so much fun to run to.

[Emily]

Consider trying a gluten-free trial for Patrick (at least 30 days, ideally six weeks) and see if anything improves.

[sarah]

Vampire Weekend, the Black Keys, Foster the People and Dropkick Murphey's.

[H]

AWOLNATION

The Black Keys

and maybe a little Blitzen Trapper for warm-up/cool-down

not that I run, but when I walk, that's what I like

your Patrick gives me hope - not that my oldest is anywhere near as cool as Patrick, but he is, right now, evidently refusing to speak to his own classmates, and his teacher is "concerned" - he's 6, btw

he tends to like what he likes and that's it... so we'll see, but if he can someday get to that happy place at school with a friend or two and activities that make him actually want to BE there, I will be thrilled

[Karen B]

I know I am not the only one to suggest, and I cannot recommend strongly enough, an immune panel study. It is just a simple blood test for the boys, but can provide a wealth of information. However, for some reason, many docs balk at the idea. If you get it done and there are any anomalies in the results, hie thee to an immunologist (not to be confused with an allergist, although some have the training for both, they are Not. The. Same.) posthaste. I can even give you a recommendation for a doc in the TC Metro area. We deal with IgG and IgA deficiencies in our family, and I cannot tell you how many times I read your posts and get deja vu or wonder if you are plagarizing my old journals (not realy...I know you would never, but Oh! the similarities!!)

[Gillian w.]

My niece had one ENT infection after another when she was little. Her mum took her off all dairy products and it improved dramatically.