I'm writing this from my sick bed, which started as a nest of towels in the bathroom but has gradually migrated to the couch. Joining me on my divan of death is Edward who started throwing up a few hours after I did... but, hey, look at that. I've leapt ahead of myself.
Last week my mom called and told me that she and my brother were surprising me for my birthday (my FORTIETH birthday - can I get a woot woot) and they would be flying in on Friday. After my initial shock (the words "surprise" and "house guests" do not often tango together in my daydreams) I was very excited. However, Steve and I had long-standing dinner plans with our friends John and Lauren for My Big Day (please feel free to think of it in caps; I did) and I felt like an ass calling and cancelling. I solved this social dilemma by racing out the door for Edward's eye appointment and tossing Lauren's number onto Steve's desk.
"Call! Explain!" I shouted and when I returned home Steve said that Lauren had said of course my family should join us. So that was resolved and I spent the week putting sheets on beds and happily anticipating what was shaping up to be the best birthday ever. Oh, and I bought four new towels because twice in the past year my mom has asked if I want her to buy me some new towels. You know, guest towels. For guests. I can take a hint.
Friday was the preschool Halloween party and I did a dry-run for costumes the day before. Caroline was enchanted with her butterfly princess fairy ballerina ensemble and I am sure you will all be surprised to know that she went on to become the Halloween parade line leader and was praised for her excellent wrist-twist parade waving.
Edward?
Not so much.
We got to preschool on Friday and he lost it. Total meltdown. Refused to have anything to do with his costume or the parade or school or Halloween or freaking anything. You want the truth? YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH. Under normal circumstances I would have unloaded him onto the closest state-licensed childcare provider but they all had their hands full trying to herd a bunch of costumed preschoolers into a line so I wound up sitting on a chair with him outside the classroom and waiting for the parade to be over. And waiting. Aaaaaand waiting. By the time I got to the airport my mother had been there for over an hour but hey! It was My Birthday! We hung out at the airport for another fifty minutes or so, got my brother and headed off for a nice lunch. It was lovely and the day was marred only slightly when it occurred to me that perhaps Edward was psychotic because his ears were bothering him. I took him {FORESHADOWING} to the urgent care that afternoon {END FORESHADOWING} so that someone could look at his new ear tubes - they said he was getting a yucky cold but his ears were fine.
Saturday was hectic. We breakfasted, played with the children and puttered and then my mom, brother, Patrick and I went out for an outing. I wanted to be home in time for Steve to take the kids to an afternoon Halloween hayride with the neighbors. The timing was terrible but I thought he could go and make it back before we had to leave for dinner and drinks. In retrospect it was probably overkill but it seemed like too much fun for the kids to pass up just because it was My Birthday Dinner. I decided the hayride was a good time to bust out the batman shirts, largely inspired by a comment Victoria left here re. Caroline. She noted that Caroline likes to dress up so, really, can there be too many costumes? Uh, no. No, I suppose not.
I drew bats on their cheeks with eyeliner and Patrick donned his new button-down tie-dye and they went off to hayride and I assumed they would be back in an hour. Wrong. The babysitter came at five but there was no one to babysit. Steve called at 5:15 and said he was mid-hay ride and we should just go without him. He'd follow. I worried that this was both rude and weird but my mom and brother were there and John and Lauren were waiting so we went.
About three-quarters of the way through our cocktails Steve called. He was on his cell phone and said that things had gotten crazy and he would tell me all about it but he wasn't going to make it for drinks and we should just head off to dinner without him. He'd meet us at the restaurant. My first thought was that he had broken one of the children and had to take them to be repaired. My second thought was that he had better have broken one of the children because unless he had a damned good excuse for showing up half-way through MY BIG BIRTHDAY DINNER it was totally uncool. I mean, hell, Steve.
My brother had had to parallel park for me at the bar (nope. still not embarrassed by the fact that I cannot parallel park) and graciously agreed to be my designated driver so he drove while I sat and alternated between fretting and fuming. When we got to the restaurant the hostess apologized for how busy they were and took us to the back where...
SURPRISE!
It was a party! A surprise party! A surprise fortieth birthday party for me! And Steve was there and the kids (plus our wonderful sitter who fed them cupcakes and then took them home again) and my mom and brother (of course) and my friends including Julie. Julie had come from Vermont with Charlie. I saw her and I said "Ohmygodohmygodohmygod" several times and then I did what any mature woman, any woman in her forties, any woman who stands unblinking in the blazing sunshine of Life's Afternoon would do. I burst into tears.
It. Was. The. Best. Birthday. Ever.
Then I came home and instantly got violently violently ill (remember that trip to the urgent care?) and did not get up for three days. I slept (and worse) through Julie's entire visit. I missed my entire birthday day. I missed Halloween.
Seriously. I got off the couch long enough to take these and that was it. Such a bummer. I LIKE Halloween.
And poor Edward was right there on the couch with me. This was his Halloween night, poor kid.
As my mother said: it was the best of times, it was the worst of times...
But mostly the best.
PS Somewhere in the middle of all this I took Patrick to his pediatrician for a long-awaited physical. We talked about the infections and he said, if it were my kid I would take him to Mayo. So now we are just waiting to hear back from them.
PPS I have a billion book ads right now. Please click on them, for surely there is something there to suit your taste? Oh! And that class action suit up there? Not sure what it is about but they are also generous underwriters so if you ate low-salt canned tomato soup under the impression it has less salt than... I dunno. Click and learn.
Oh,happy birthday! I was hoping your toilet bowl hugging was from too much celebrating, but I guess not if Edward had it too. I understand the bursting into tears. My husband and my best friend's husband threw us a joint surprise party and walking into that room was just the oddest feeling. I saw her family first and thought the party was for her and then wondered why my parents, brother, and friends she barely knew were there. It was overwhelming and amazing and yeah, tears.
Your children were adorable for Halloween! Fingers crossed that you get into Mayo soon and get answers for Patrick.
Posted by: Missy | November 02, 2011 at 07:14 PM
Okay, I kind of choked up at the part where it was a big surprise party.
I hope you are on the upswing soon. No fun at all being sick on Your Big Day. :-(
Posted by: Betsy | November 02, 2011 at 07:18 PM
Very sorry you were sick on your birthday, and sorry for Edward too. I love the Halloween pictures. Patrick looks so tall. I should have known he would be a SOLVED Rubic's cube, but I had envisioned all his colors mixed up. Happy belated birthday.
Posted by: Sarah | November 02, 2011 at 07:24 PM
Happy Birthday! I hope you start feeling better soon. Such a bummer you missed time with Julie.
Posted by: Jessica | November 02, 2011 at 07:55 PM
Happy birthday your poor, sick thing! Feel better soon!
Posted by: Alli | November 02, 2011 at 07:58 PM
My sister threw me a surprise 40th birthday party, and it was MY BEST DAY EVER. The kids kept the secret for 3 months or 24 hours (depending on the kid) and that's a miracle for all of them.
And then I didn't get sick. But it would have been worth it if I had.
Posted by: Beth | November 02, 2011 at 08:02 PM
Oh wow!!!
And oh no!!!
But mostly, oh wow!!!
Also, happy (belated) 40th.
Also also, your family is beautiful.
Posted by: Alexicographer | November 02, 2011 at 08:22 PM
Happy birthday! I'm glad you got to enjoy the surprise party, even if everything after that is a blur of illness. Hope you're feeling better soon!
Posted by: Elsha | November 02, 2011 at 08:37 PM
Happy Big Birthday! It sounds like a celebration you'll always remember. And how thoughtful of Edward to keep you company while you were sick. Hope you are all better soon.
Posted by: Kaelie | November 02, 2011 at 08:42 PM
Happy birthday! At least it was memorable :)
Posted by: jamie | November 02, 2011 at 08:44 PM
Happy birthday, Julia! Hope you and Edward feel better soon.
Posted by: Jen | November 02, 2011 at 08:51 PM
Happy belated birthday! How fantastic that your friends & family would throw a surprise party for you! Sorry you spent the rest of the weekend sick, but at least you held up through the party, AMIRITE?!? Hope you get to feeling better soon. At least you have the lovely memories of Saturday night to reflect on as you...worship the porcelain god?
Posted by: Clarabella | November 02, 2011 at 08:59 PM
The picture of Edward not so much enjoying it slays me. I tremble in the face of his displeasure.
Happy Birthday! Surprise for Forty and perhaps lack of bathroom necessitating illness for Forty-One. Dream big!
Glad to hear about Mayo. Seems like a good next step. You should bring them printed out reams of all our internet helpfulness -- I bet they'd appreciate that. ;-D It reminds me of that thing they're doing in the NYT -- they give out a list of symptoms, tests, etc. and throw it open to the world. Turns out that people with medical backgrounds seem to do better at it than the average NYT reader/medical dabbler, so there's a vote for Mayo right there!
Posted by: Jen | November 02, 2011 at 09:00 PM
It was such a pleasure to read about the birthday celebration--I have known of so few surprise parties where the feted one is truly surprised.
But I was actually moved to comment by your exhortation to look at the book ads, which I never notice. Am I the only one who is both puzzled and mightily amused by this description: "An exciting new steampunk paranormal romance trilogy." WTF???!!!
Posted by: Heidi | November 02, 2011 at 09:17 PM
I am so, so sorry for your vomitousness... but I have to say that Edward's "I WILL KILL YOU WILL MY MIND!" glare is the awesomest thing I've seen all day. I would NOT want to cross that kid.
Posted by: Jul | November 02, 2011 at 09:37 PM
Surprise party YES!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY. I've already informed my husband that there better be something BIG when I turn 60 which, OMFG, is only 13 months away!
um, illness not so much. hope both you and Edward are feeling better.
Last but not least where did Edward get that amazing I can kill you with my eyes look? It is uncannily similar to Rachel Maddow's I can kill you with my brain look.
Posted by: winecat | November 02, 2011 at 10:02 PM
Happy Birthday!! Hope you and your little one are right as rain soon.
Posted by: em | November 02, 2011 at 10:22 PM
Happy, happy birthday!!! Sorry about the yucky sickies. I was sick for Halloween too. Bummer because we were finally going to take our littles trick-or-treating for the first time. So I feel (some of) your pain. But yay for those happy birthday memories!
Posted by: sarah k | November 02, 2011 at 10:24 PM
Happy happy birthday! I'm really very sorry that you got so desperately ill after the party however.
Posted by: Veronica | November 02, 2011 at 10:48 PM
So sorry Halloween and your birthday were taken over by the eeeevil creeping crud. Hope you stay healthy now.
Happy 40th and I'm insanely jealous that you got to see Julie.
Posted by: Kristin | November 02, 2011 at 11:08 PM
You are good at evoking deep emotions, such a great set up, I totally did not see this coming. Julie and you must not meet, because each time you do, you make your readers cry. What a great surprise party you had for 40's B'day! Sorry for the sickness, here is to a speedy recovery!
Posted by: yasmina | November 03, 2011 at 12:29 AM
Happy belated birthday!
When you're sick, the best thing is to have your Mom close by. When you have a birthday, the best thing is to have your family and friends with you. So by a crooked logic, when you're sick on your birthday, the best thing is to have your Mom, family and friends with you. Or not...
Hope the Mayo Clinic manages to give some answers.
All the best, as always
Posted by: tgsdmom | November 03, 2011 at 03:38 AM
Happy birthday, Julia! Your kids are beautiful!
Posted by: i | November 03, 2011 at 04:23 AM
So COOL! I am so psyched Julie made it out to surprise you!! What a great birthday story!!!
Posted by: Anita | November 03, 2011 at 06:15 AM
Happy birthday, glad you're better, glad the microbes held off until you got through your party (great work, party organizers!), and thank you for the photos, of which there can never be too many. At least on your blog. Other blogs with simple sentences and Photoshopping out the wazoo, maybe.
Also, I am laughing that the perpetrator of Bedtime Soup, now with extra sodium, is benefiting from advertising linked to the perils of salty soup.
Posted by: Slim | November 03, 2011 at 06:57 AM
Such a wonderful -- and simultaneously awful -- birthday! Somehow that seems perfect for turning 40. Happy belated!
I *really* hope you're feeling better soon.
Posted by: Tine | November 03, 2011 at 07:55 AM
The picture of Edward in his costume looking so unhappy had me laughing out loud. At work! Reminds me of my son two years ago. He had the same look!
Cried when I read about the party. That's sooooo sweet! And so beyond my husband to pull off, so kudos to yours.
And very, very sorry to hear that you missed both your birthday and Halloween due to illness. We had a close call here - son was throwing up Thu night/Fri morning and thus had to stay home from school on Fri. Fortunately he got better before Sat night's Trick-or-Treating AND his younger sister did not come down with whatever he had. I was totally stressing about someone missing it!
Posted by: Shannon | November 03, 2011 at 08:13 AM
Woot woot!
How wonderful of everyone to surprise you. Happy birthday, and enjoy your 40's.
Posted by: MJ | November 03, 2011 at 08:15 AM
Zhoolee was there! And you spent the whole time barfing? Oh dear.
Posted by: Beth | November 03, 2011 at 09:17 AM
Happy birthday! That is such a wonderful surprise. Glad you at least got to enjoy that part of the weekend!
Posted by: Liz | November 03, 2011 at 09:18 AM
Yay!!! Happy birthday!!!
And how awful about the sick, but, generally, yay!!!!
Posted by: SarahB | November 03, 2011 at 09:27 AM
Happy 40th!! What a wonderful surprise! You know, the celebration can continue well into your year, so you can make up for being sick on the day.
The Internet loves you!
Posted by: el-e-e | November 03, 2011 at 09:44 AM
Oh, hell, I burst into tears when you said that Julie showed up at your party. Happy Four-Oh.
And I clicked on the soup ad, because I hate salt and I love soup. There's a chance I bought that soup.
Posted by: SarcastiCarrie | November 03, 2011 at 09:56 AM
The dragon suit is adorable! So glad you contacted Mayo.
Posted by: Jan | November 03, 2011 at 10:03 AM
Happy birthday!!! What a fabulous surprise! I happen to think surprise parties are the BEST (my husband does NOT agree, as I found out to my peril when I threw him one early in our marriage and, I think, came quite close to ending that union). I adore the pictures of the twinkles and your descriptions made me laugh out loud. Love those kids!
Posted by: Shannon | November 03, 2011 at 10:17 AM
That was the best. I'm grinning on your behalf.
Posted by: Heather B. | November 03, 2011 at 10:37 AM
The best of times. The worst of times. I see where you get your sense of humor.
Happy Birthday!! And a surprise party - how cool! Really hope you feel better soon!
Posted by: Karen | November 03, 2011 at 11:05 AM
Oh belated congratulations & sorry it had worst of times to mar the best of times. Hope your memories of the big 4 - 0 weren't spoiled.
:)
Posted by: Amanda | November 03, 2011 at 12:01 PM
Happy birthday, Julia! I totally didn't see that surprise party coming either! :)
I clicked - salt salt salt! :)
Posted by: Hawk | November 03, 2011 at 12:25 PM
Happy Birthday Julia! I am sorry it was so infested with sick, but that post rocked. I had NO idea a surprise party was coming and the extra Julie surprise was perfect. How amazing and thoughtful. I'm glad you enjoyed the party!
Posted by: Sarah | November 03, 2011 at 01:02 PM
What a GREAT surprise party--and great retelling since I had no idea until the actual surprise sentence.
SO sorry you got sick though. And Edward too.
Posted by: KatieV | November 03, 2011 at 01:20 PM
Totally welled up when I read about the surprise party and Julie making the trip to celebrate. So....your mom and brother's visit was all part of the surprise party plan, right?!
Posted by: mellie | November 03, 2011 at 01:55 PM
Happy Birthday!!!!!
and get well soon.
Posted by: Sarah | November 03, 2011 at 02:40 PM
Woot, woot! Raising the roof for your wonderful, magical birthday -4-0 YEAH! I had that same number come up this year, and on my birthday we did NOTHING. No wonderful dinner, no magical surprise. True, DH is unemployed and I'm under employed and had asked for NO FUSS, NO GIFTS - forestalling until next year, when hopefully we can party like it's 2010. SO I can't complain - but I can sit and admire and cry empathy tears at the part where they yelled "Surprise!" - because I loved that part. Happy, happy belated birthday.
Please let us know when Mayo calls. It's amazing how having never met Patrick I still feel like he's somehow my surrogate nephew. (Ditto the twins.)
Posted by: Melissa K. | November 03, 2011 at 02:41 PM
Happy belated birthday!
Posted by: cassey | November 03, 2011 at 02:47 PM
At least you had the best party ever. :) Hope you and Edward feel better soon. The tutu turned out fabulous too.
Posted by: Helen B | November 03, 2011 at 02:50 PM
That husband of yours is a keeper. Happy birthday.
Posted by: katherine | November 03, 2011 at 02:54 PM
I agree with Katherine. And he's cute too.
Sorry for the sickness but yay on the birthday surprise. At least you had one good night. And Mayo sounds like a good idea. I hope they figure it out.
Posted by: Kathleen999 | November 03, 2011 at 06:43 PM
Happy Birthday Julia!
Posted by: azita | November 03, 2011 at 08:16 PM
Didn't mean to slight Caroline's tutu -- it's lovely! (Was focusing more of Edward's rejection of his costume.) If I had a child, I'd offer to buy it back. Heck, I'd wear it myself if I could... Happy 40! It's still nice and young, and you can look forward to Zestiness!
Posted by: Jan | November 03, 2011 at 09:08 PM