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December 20, 2011

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Eh. If the kids themselves are both comfortable with it, why not? You could set them up in a communal room with blankets and mattresses - new and different for them, but somewhere where you don't feel awkward about walking through and checking on them.

Ooooh, I'm first! That'[s what I get for clicking your link EVERY. TIME. I. Log. ON. I think that a sleepover at this age is fine, but I am an easy breezy mom, so take it for what it's worth.

Tie-dyed socks by Patrick would be awesome!!

I'd suggest talking to her mom and seeing what she has to say about it. If you're not opposed and she's not opposed, maybe the two of you could come up with a set of ground rules and give it a shot. (This coming from someone who had group coed sleepovers in high school since my brother and I had the same group of friends.)

If you're worried about something of an intimate nature happening between Patrick and his friend, keep in mind that those things happen at same sex sleepovers, not just boy/girl ones. I like the idea someone suggested above about setting up the sleepover somewhere you can keep a eye on them without completely stripping them of all privacy.

About the tree-topper: We have "Creepy Lady" and some stars...we rotate who gets to be on the top of the tree each year. Funny :)

About the sleep-over: I wouldn't worry about it one bit, but then again, I'm not the one making the decision. If I chose to do it, I would have the sleeping bags set up in the game-room because it's easily checkable. Making it seem like no big deal helps make it less of a big deal (awkward sentence, but you know what I mean).

I find our generally heterosexist ideas that something will happen if a boy and girl sleepover together...troubling. And especially only in foiurth grade--bah! nothing will happen. have them change seperatley (they will want to anyway) and maybe have them sleep in a communal space like the living room (not a bad idea with sleepovers generally).

I think you could just tell the dad that you'd like to try it and mention that they will sleep in the living room or whatever (and the twins will find it thrilling!) and see what he thinks.

Glad your lungs are A-OK!

Allow the sleepover - in a living room "fort" which you check in in until they crash.

We had many co-ed sleepovers, back in the 80's. A communal space for sleeping is a good idea, in general, and there weren't any problems.

My husband was best friends with a girl when he was a young'n. They definitely had sleepovers. I asked him about sleeping arrangements, he said he slept in a different room. Hope this is helpful!

re: sleepover - I say do it. It's not "weird" or really an issue until many many years later. Sleeping bag on the floor or air mattress, Patrick in his bed - go for it. They'll both have awesome memories, and you'll go down being the cool mom forever. :)

And yes, when my kids reach sleepover age, I'll totally let them have boy/girl sleepovers if they want.

My best friend in early elementary school (through maybe 3rd grade when we moved) was a little boy, and we had many sleepovers at both of our houses (in his room, he had bunk beds; in my room, one of us had the bed, the other a sleeping bag on the ground). It was loads of fun, but I do remember one instance when we were maybe 7 that he decided it would be so funny to pull down his underwear and show me! I never told my mom about one! :)


"watching him like a white sauce over high heat" - this is brilliant and made me laugh.

Swistle dedicated an entire post to this very sleepover question.
http://swistle.blogspot.com/2011/11/sleepover-fret.html
(I can recommend her 'favourite posts/reference section', too - some very funny stuff there).

Hoping the new drug works for Patrick...what an ordeal it's been.

My oldest's best friend growing up was the girl next door. They had a few sleepovers before she moved away at age 8 (sob, we loved that family, she was the youngest of four, all the parents got on, the kids were fun, they had the same sort of easy-going things, strict things that we did, sigh. The kids are all facebook friends now, 12 years later, even though they live in another country, and it warms my heart.)

Wow, that was quite an aside. Anyway, we always joked that we'd get the sleepovers out of the way before they were in middle school.

I agree with the neutral zone sleeping area if possible (and not freakishly scary). Or at least clarifying to her where she should get dressed, etc.

Also, it never hurts to clarify with one's own child some limitations as well.

One time we were visiting old friends out of town and same child corrected the friend's child's (she was one and half years younger than he) (mis)conception of sex (haha, punny). She was a little horrified at what HE thought it entailed and came barreling up the stairs to ask who was right, him or her.

He was in fact correct, but, uh, we had a clear conversation about how there are things that PARENTS like to tell their children all by themselves, without a visiting child's clarification. =:-0

I have nothing useful to add on sleepovers. I love Jonathan Coulton! I got to see him live at a conference and he is a really nice guy in addition to being a funny singer. He appreciated playing to an audience of nerds that got all the jokes.

Glad your lungs are a-okay.

You can be like my inlaws and just hang the tree from the ceiling, leaving the trunk in a bucket of water! That way, the tree's always straight (although hanging may interfere with your awesome-sounding topper) and you can fill the ol' 5-gallon bucket with enough water to last until March!

My daughter was on a sulfa drug for her first time last spring. after being on it for a week she started breaking out in hives...two days before prom. ( She was a senior). Never been allergic to any other antibiotic so this was quite a surprise. Just be aware that a reaction can take weeks or even months according to our pharmacist!

We got to see JoCo in concert in Minneapolis this past Spring, he puts on a good show.

Whew! Glad your lungs are okay. I hope the new drug works for Patrick. I say take turns with the topper--star one day, Creepy the next. If you're okay with the sleepover, I don't see why not. I'd say girls at that age are generally pretty modest anyway, and you probably won't need to make a point of telling her to change in the bathroom or anything like that.

Definitely go for the sleepover. Have them sleep in the family room if you're worried, but I think at this age it's worse to make a big deal over possible propriety issues and not allow it.

My 10 year old daughter and the boy across the street are besties and have sleepovers a lot. Basically they camp out on the couch usually with onea feet wrapped around the others face. Its pretty funny. Both have puppy love for other people but ask them and they will say they are soul siblings. I myself had and still have a male bestfriend so I think it is acceptable.

Just when I think I can't adore Patrick any more, he goes and asks you to read him a poem. Love that kid!

Sleepover - I think it should be OK. Consult with her Dad (you can speak with him yourself, no?)
Sulfa - Could have side effects: Hives. Hope it works!

Happy your lungs are OK.

Happy Christmas & Happy Twins' Birthday

Speaking as someone who has had mostly guy friends all her life - definitely allow the sleepover!

If you're worried, you can always keep the door cracked. I might be somewhat beyond 10 (at just past 30), but I don't really think you've got much to worry about until they're 14 or 15. :)

totally not kid friendly (most of the time) but for funny music check out Tim Minchin on youtube for yourself. Very funny musician, as an Aussie I love his Christmas song

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fCNvZqpa-7Q

Also, Eragon is not bad but I did find it very close to David Eddings The Belgariad books plus a few other series thrown in. Its a good younger teens version though.

Hahaha coed sleepovers. I will NOT divulge what happened at coed sleepovers when I was a kid (what happens at Sleepover, stays at Sleepover....) but go for it.... But in a communal room I'd reckon. My son is 6 but emotionally not ready for them yet, I only speak from my own experience (which I blush remembering). Hope Patrick improves with the sulfa.

I'm so glad to hear that your lungs are okay. I hope this new drug helps Patrick.

As for the sleepover, as others have suggested, just put them in a neutral room with sleeping bags and they'll have a great time.

I love the sound of your tree topper and find it amusing that Patrick doesn't like it. We alternate between putting up an Angel and a star, not very exciting, but they light up.

How are Caroline and Edward?

Holy cats! Our baby would proudly wear any tie-dyed socks Patrick wishes to make. Heck, we would buy them if he had an etsy shop. We bought our little guy a tie-dyed onesie at a farmers market stand that had tie-dyed...well, everything.

Best wishes for successful antibiotics.

As for the sleepover, what if the dad stayed over too and hung out with Steve and they kept an eye on things? At least for a first trial run?

And happy forthcoming birthday to the twins!

Sleeping bags and pillows in the family room. And the reason is that some nasty fifth grader is going to make obnoxious jokes about it if they share a "bedroom." An indoor campout is a family adventure even if the family just strolls by every once in a while. It is too bad some children have such skewed views so young, but they do in today's world.

Gosh, I say go for the sleepover...I'm anon today because my son and his female bestie, at least at age 6, still took the occasional bath together--and if they were to run around naked now, at age 7, I wouldn't have a problem with it. Some might disagree with me :)

My boy is on sulfamethoxazole right now too. It's beating the crap out of his eye infection (with no side effects thus far--knock wood), and I hope it does the same for Patrick's sinus infection.

My son's best friend is a girl, too. We have not yet encountered the sleepover issue (they're 3rd graders), but undoubtedly it'll come up soon. I don't have a problem with it if the girl's dad doesn't (she, like Patrick's friend, is being raised by her dad). They've known each other since they were 2, and they are both blessedly clueless.

Another pro-sleepover vote here. My almost-7-year-old daughter's bestest friend is an adorable 7-year-old boy, and they have had many sleepovers at each other's houses. I will confess that I have even let them sleep in her big queen-sized bed together. My husband raised an eyebrow at that one, but truly, I don't think they would even have any idea of what to do if they wanted to be naughty. As for random penis flashing as per a previous poster, her brother, age 9, still wanders around pantsless on the way to the bathroom occasionally, so I don't think she would be particularly intrigued anyway...

I like the living-room fort idea a lot, though, and may adopt that as mine get in the 9/10 age bracket!

Glad you are okay!

Re: Sleepover. I wouldn't have a problem with it at all. I recall having a sleep over with a large group of boys and girls for a girl's birthday when I was in umm, 5th or 6th grade? I really can't remember. And it was totally fine.

I wouldn't bat an eye at that sleepover. We've been talking about the theoretical day when my daughter and her best (boy) friend are ready for a sleepover. They are only 5 now, and neither of them seem quite ready, but it will happen, and no one cares that they are not the same gender. They take baths together and play naked on the beach and I see no reason (yet--and for a long time I hope) to discourage them.

Also, I love Amazon Prime. SO MUCH. Although they let me down--I couldn't find a single wrapping paper to order that wasn't some licensed character or just plain ugly that was available for 2-day shipping last night. I guess Santa will be wrapping in white drawing paper rolls.

With my kids (3 and 5) in daycare and senior kindergarten, they're interacting with other kids all day, five days a week, and it's honestly never occurred to me to invite another kid over for anything other than a birthday party. I sometimes (though less often than I'd like) get together with the odd friend of mine who happens to have kids about the same age, and the kids play together, but it's still more about the adults interacting.

Hypothetically speaking though, I wouldn't have a problem with a mixed-gender sleepover at Patrick's age. Sooner or later my daughter is going to have one "best" friend, and the gender of that friend will factor into the "to host a sleepover or not" decision far less than deciding how much of a pain in the ass the entire thing will be.

Terry Pratchett! WOOT! I'm so happy someone recommened him for you. I can't till you and Patrick meet the Mac Nac Feegles. Crivens! I'm so excited for you.

Pratchett is fabulous. Fabulous. Go with more of the Discworld series sometime. You'll appreciate the social commentary; Patrick will enjoy the story and the humor. (And vice versa.)

One, two, many, lots...

For what it's worth, the sulfa drugs are pretty distinctly different (chemically/biochemically) from the -cillins, so here's hoping the new drug succeeds where the others failed!

Oh, and...no experience here on the non-familial co-ed sleepovers, but I wouldn't think you'd have anything to worry about at this age, even if you let them sleep in Patrick's room (with the door cracked/open.) Still, the common area sleeping space is a good precedent to set, if only so it isn't a sticking point if they still want co-ed sleepovers in 3-4 years.

Oh, right....and be forewarned: the Discworld series gets distinctly better around books 3-5 than it was in books 1 and 2. I don't think you REALLY have to start at the beginning, but if you do (for good an valid story-telling or OCD-type reasons), don't give up just because book 1 doesn't ring all your bells. (Don't get me wrong; The Colour of Magic is a fun read and probably a fun listen. But Pratchett really hit his stride with the series after a few warm-up books. Wait until you get to Sam Vimes and Vetinari!)

Our daughter slept over at one of her best friend's houses this past spring for a co-ed sleepover. No big deal, if you don't make it one. When choosing whom to invite, the boy didn't see anything wrong with inviting his "girl" friends with whom he plays every day at school. People who get wigged out about it are only putting their sexual weirdness onto the situation...

Sign me up for tie-dyed socks, please. And co-ed sleep-overs are fine at this age. I'd say put both kids in the living room or den.

Hah, my husband will say, when I ask him about specifics following a very important phone call he just finished; "If you want details, call him yourself!" We have had people show up for dinner, right after we finished eating ours, because the DH forgot to tell them we were not serving dinner, just drinks and snacks. That was awkward. The next time he and the husband of same couple agreed that "We need to get together sometime" we (yes, both of us) were surprised when they gathered that they were being invited to our house, not the other way round, and asked us what they should bring. The men-folk are no longer allowed to finalize the plans on our get-togethers because they clearly discuss everything BUT when,where, how and why. I think mostly they tell each other jokes and then part thinking all is settled. My "boys" have the same issues. They can spend and entire day with a friend they have not seen in a while and have no inkling where the other boy may be attending college next fall, or if he is attending college , or maybe even joining the military, for example. Not a clue. "If you want to know Mom, you should call him" But to be fair on the jackets for Halloween issue; I was going into Target the other day, it was 23 and starting to snow. I saw a woman get out of her car with two small boys, one barely a toddler, who had no coats or jackets on. They did have long sleeve shirts so I thought, OK, they will hurry into the store. Then I see a little girl emerge from the same car, in a sleeveless cotton summer dress. At least your kids had costumes on.

My son also had a rash/hives reaction to a sulfa med on the 9th day of a 10-day prescription. But, the medicine worked wonders. Good luck!

My 7 yr old boy's best friend is a girl and they had sleepovers almost every week this summer. At this age, I really don't think it's that big of a deal. I agree with the other posters...if you're worried about propriety, have them sleep in the living room or someplace more public than the bedroom.

One of my best friends growing up was a boy, and we had sleepovers at his house. However, when it was time to actually sleep, he slept in his room, and I slept in his younger sister's room with her. My mother is very proper, and this is what she would agree to.

Beware the delayed sulfa reaction! One of my twins, at 18 months, was on long-term Bactrim for a stubborn ear infection, and broke out in BAD hives after about 3 weeks of taking the med. She got so many hives that they basically merged and she was bright red from head to toe! Scared the bejeepers out of me, and I took her to the ER. They gave her a whopping dose of Benadryl, and she slowly (over 2 days) regained her normal color. Now I just have the memory of my bright-red blond baby, in just a diaper and pink tennis shoes, terrorizing the ER! Because we're not going to stay in that little room! No way! We're going to walk around and touch and attempt to climb everything and screech like a parrot if we are thwarted! The ped on call wanted to observe her for about 8 hours, initially, but they sent us home after about 3! :):)

My daughters best friend is the girl twin of a girl-boy set. She and her younger brothers all share a bedroom, so when my daughter sleeps over, the youngest (age 4) sleeps in his parents' room and the older three (2nd grade) sleep on the set of bunk beds (upper bunk, lower bunk, trundle). Seems to work just fine. Daughter's bestie isn't ready to sleep over at our house yet, but I imagine when she does, the whole lot of them will come with her and we'll have the boys sleep in my son's room and the girls sleep in my daughter's room, simply because there isn't room for 5 kids in any one place and I think the cat would pee on them if we put them in sleeping bags on the family room floor.

I would propose that a sleepover would be fine if they both slept in sleeping bags on the floor.

My daughter (age nine) is mostly friends with boys. She's done sleepovers with them and it's always worked out well. (We know the families and the kids, so we were confident going into it.)

I wouldn't allow a boy/girl sleepover but you could do a "stay to midnight" almost sleepover or something.

I honestly think it's more harmful to make a bigger deal than it needs to be -- propriety is something kids hear about but don't fully comprehend and it solidifies stilted views about gender identity. Why shouldn't Patrick get to have a sleepover with his bff?

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