Abruptus

Sorry to leave the lungs as a cliffhanger but for what it is worth my own mother had to ask me today whether I had ever heard anything after my chest xray. Because a mother WORRIES. I was, like, ohhh, sawry (I love how Canadians say this word) did I forget to tell you... ? Anyway my lung nodule is gone and the radiologist said that a follow-up CT scan would only be necessary if I had been a heavy smoker; defined as a person who smokes a pack a day for thirty years (nope) or two packs a day for fifteen years (nuh-huh.) Steve suggested that this defintion could be expanded to include seven thousand cigarettes in a single day and I hesitated because I went to a Fiji islander once and drank approximately 400 beers so it is possible my concurrent tobacco consumption skewed similarly high but... I think I am ok. I probably stopped smoking that day some time between losing one of my shoes and being fireman-carried home by old whatshisface. Probably.

Over at Rancho Sinus, the Mayo guy clicked his tongue at me when I called about Patrick. He said it was possible, even probable, that Patrick's infection is getting worse rather than better with the augmentin. He said the problem with long running infections (exhibit A: Patrick) is that the germs involved are generally varied and stubborn. Ideally we could culture him to figure it out and treat exactly what he has swamping around up there but the minimally invasive options to do so are nil. So, trial and error it is. He has switched him to sulfamethoxazole, for which I have high hopes. First, Patrick has never been on a sulfa drug before; and second, sulfa is not only an antibiotic it is an antifungal. While we have no specific reason to believe that Patrick's infection is caused by a fungus... why not? 

I just received the written report from the Mayo yesterday and while it did not add much to my general understanding of what is going on inside Patrick's head it did contribute a few specifics, like my new word "pansinusitis" (meaning all four - four! google tells me that the sphenoid sinus does not usually develop until adolesence but Patrick has one. two? dunno - sinuses are diseased.) Oh and the fact that Patrick has them in the first place; that his maxillary sinuses are the most affected by disease of the four and that the only part of his head that ever hurts (just above his right eye) is adjacent to the only sinus he has that is healthy. Go figure.

Anyway, I am watching him like a white sauce over high heat and I think (think? think) he is improving. I think.

Someone in the comments asked (I will assume sincerely) why we are treating something that does not have discernible symptoms. If he don't feel broke why fix him et cetera. This seems like a reasonable question so the short answer is: the longer the air pockets known as Patrick's sinuses are filled with pustulent swamp fluid the more likely it is that it will seep through the bones of his skull and eat his brain.

Speaking of which, THANK YOU for recommending Jonathan Coulton on the strength of Patrick's fondness for the Portal/Portal2 closing music. I listened to snippets on itunes and promptly bought one of his CDs for Patrick for Christmas. It has "re. Your Brains" on it (a zombie song featuring the line "we're not unreasonable/ I mean no one's going to eat your eyes") and it is literally the present I am most excited about giving him. And speaking of thank yous, a big one for the book recommendations and Terry Pratchett it is. Wee Free Men is sitting on the counter waiting for us to finish the last disc of Darke.

Someone in the comments mentioned the challenge of finding good books for...

...holy cats. Patrick just walked into the room and asked me if I have a copy of "that poem" about Hiawatha and if so will I read it to him. I must seize this moment before it is gone forever but I swear by all that is good (like cheese and the second half of the second Lord of the Rings movie) that I will return tomorrow when the twins are at preschool and pick up again.

Hiawatha! Not my favorite, of course. I mean it's no Highwayman but still! Patrick! Asking me! To read him a poem!

Outta here.

Oh! In the meantime please consider this question - Patrick's best friend is a girl. She comes to our house to play about once a week and we are very fond of her. She's a sweetheart and they get on very well together (they disappear into his room for hours where he plays Minecraft and she builds with Legos and then they switch - it's like big kid parallel play.) Since they are fourth graders and best friends they have talked about having a sleepover and...  help me out here. I know you embrace a wide range of experience and I am firmly convinced that collectively you not only know everything but you are always right. So boy/girl elementary school sleepovers with or without guest bedroom usage: please discuss. 

PS Patrick and I used a random number generator and selected the winners for The Golden Ball book giveaway (I didn't hear back from one person - probably a rarely checked email, alas - so we did 11 in total) If you heard from me congratulations and I hope you enjoy the book. If not thanks for your interest and maybe Patrick will be willing to raffle off some tie-dyed socks next time. He loves to do them but we're running out of feet.

PPS When I was growing up we had Spooky on the top of our Christmas trees. Spooky started (I believe) as a Mexican Day of the Dead hand puppet... anyway. Last year my friend Julie knew how much I wanted to recreate this beloved childhood memory so she surprised me by creating and sending a lovely angel of death (complete with a skeletal hand holding a plateful of cookies upon which is also perched a dove with x's for eyes - I'll post pictures again. it is made of awesome) for the top of our tree.

We were talking about decorating our tree tomorrow (guess who forgot they had thrown out the broken tree stand last January 1st? Us! Guess whose freshly cut tree is currently in a bucket on the front porch? Ours! Guess who is out of stock on Christmas tree stands? EVERYONE LOCAL! Guess who saved Christmas? Amazon Prime, naturally) and Steve and I got enthusiastic about getting Creepy (aka Spooky II) out again. Tis the season after all. Patrick, who disapproves heartily of Creepy, channeled his inner old guy and said that we really need to get a nice, appropriate star for the tree this year.

Steve and I said no way, we love Creepy.

Patrick insisted, we resisted, dinner progressed.

Eventually Patrick said the only thing for us to do is to divide the tree into five segments with masking tape so we can each decorate our own section. Every time I think about this idea I start laughing again. It's like the perfect background for the definitive dysfunctional family Christmas card.

I think we'll do it. And I get to decorate the top.

PPPS Not that it matters (I have just come downstairs to get the Highwayman. I'm on a roll here people) but I saw Corie's comment and wanted to mention that Patrick's friend is being raised by her dad. So the mom to mom talk thing is not possible. Steve could do the dad to dad talk thing but I'm not really sure how a discussion on whether the current Vikings' quarterback has two to three year potential is going to further things. Steve has set up several playdates with this guy and it never ceases to amaze me that they can spend ten minutes on the phone without ever establishing: a) what time she will arrive; b) what time she needs to be home; c) whether we need to drive her; and d) whether she has any life-threatening food or pet allergies.

PPPPS I'm not really sexist. I'm teasing. Steve is a fully actualized and equal co-parent and the friend's father is amazing.

PPPPPS Although they were in charge of trick or treating and none of the children wore jackets.

Comments

[missie]

I can't wait to see a picture of this tree topper!!

[Leah]

I second yammeringon...tell Patrick that she can spend the night if they get sleeping bags and crash in the living room (or another communal room). Other than that, I'd leave it alone without much more explanation.

[MsCellania]

We do boy/girl sleepovers here. 9 and 10 years old. We are all fine with it, but the girl is a bit 'frisky' at 9 so probably not much longer in the same room. The reason it happens in the first place is that her 1-year older bro is best friend's with our almost 1-year older bro (got it?) so it makes sense for all 4 to have a sleepover at the same time. Last time our youngest decided that he didn't want to share either his queen bed or sleep with her in the king, so I guess the problem has resolved naturally. Our son is 10 going on 6. The sister is 9 going on 18 (like Caroline). Both 11 yo's think they are very sophisticated but they are all left in that 9 yo girl's dust. Do you have an open area that the 2 could 'camp' in? Separate sleeping bags, etc? We are thinking to give all 4 the living room with sleeping bags next sleepover. The two 11 yo's have sleepovers all the time, btw. The sister is occasionally included.

[Kristin Flanagan]

How I feel for you. My six year old son has ongoing sinus issues - and they are a constant worry to me. Neti-pots, gazillion antibiotics, decongestants.....the list goes on and on. As soon as he gets a cold, I sigh and rinse, repeat....rinse repeat. A trip to one highly regarded ENT told me that he could see nothing wrong with keeping him on a prophylactic antibiotic and for the life of him why I worried about repeated sinusitus, some chidlren just have this "weakness"......er.....ahem....maybe a little MENINGITIS as you mentioned. Scares ME. I feel for you because all a bit like the Myth of Sisyphus.... totally frustrating.
There is one thing however that may be part of my son's problem, silent reflux (he is now on prilosec) and after reading 50 million articles I have found that there is a connection between the two (reflux +cold = sinus)... and especially true for children... maybe worth checking out?
You are an incredibly smart mother doing the BEST for your son.....and an inspiration to all of us trying to put the pieces together and get some answers. Thank you :)

[Liz]

I had a delayed sulfa reaction. 10 days into what I think was a 14 day regime - hives and wheezing.

[Shana in Texas]

I second MsCellania's appraisal. This is Patrick - sleepover will be fine. Save the worry for when Caroline is asking Patrick to invite specific kids over by name. And, then there are the swarms of potential mates for the fair Edward that will implore his sister for an introduction!

[Amanda]

When I was seven I wanted my good boy buddy to come spend the night. I was totally innocent in my request and had no idea that I was opening a huge can of worms.

My mom's reaction surprised me (seriously, it's been 25 years and I still remember it) when she said she would NEVER allow him to spend the night, that boys and girls DIDN'T DO THAT. I didn't even know what I had done that made her so mad!

Talk about making something worse by making a bigger deal out of it than it is. The lesson I got from her that day was that I had unknowingly asked to do something shameful and bad. She should have handled it so much better.

So my opinion is to allow the boy/girl sleepover. Just have it in a common area, not because you think anything naughty might happen, but because kids get into mischief. But you have three of them, you already knew that. :)

[H]

I would do the sleepover and not worry too much (I myself am determined not to worry until middle school). But it would be good to set up some boundaries and expectations, wouldn't it? Review personal privacy rules, see if Patrick has any concerns, ask the girl if she would prefer to have her own room for sleeping. Or they could hang out in the family room with sleeping bags, maybe?

[Sarah]

This may seem out of nowhere, but im reading about all the lung and sinus problems and it could be envoronmental. Have you thought about having the house checked for mold?

[Hetty Fauxvert]

They don't need privacy: they're eight or nine, not teens, and it's a sleepover, not bathtime. I say sleepover yes (and not only yes, but yay!), privacy no. The funnest sleepovers I had as a kid were in the living room in front of a fireplace. Best place to watch the TV, make popcorn, stay up till all hours telling ghost stories. When my kids are old enough for sleepovers, I think the living room is where we'll set up all of them.

And I am verrrrrry pleased to hear you are finally trying Terry Pratchett! Welcome to your new obsession. ;o)

And I'm also pleased to hear that Patrick might very possibly be improving incrementally on his new sulfa drug. (Aren't sulfa drugs from like, WWII?) Sometimes oldies are the best!

And merry Christmas!!!!!!! Enjoy your "zoned" tree!

[Hetty Fauxvert]

Oh, forgot! and yay for The Highwayman! And for passing on poetry memes! "And the highwayman came riding, riding, riding/ The highwayman came riding/ Up to the old inn door." That was from my forty-year-old memory . . . wonder if I got it right? :o)

[Colleen]

Yeay for Terry Pratchett! I totally concur with the person who said the Discworld books improve greatly after you get past #2... Well worth it!

[Retro Jordan Shoes]

However, when it was time to actually sleep, he slept in his room, and I slept in his younger sister's room with her. My mother is very proper, and this is what she would agree to.

Beware the delayed sulfa reaction! One of my twins, at 18 months, was on long-term Bactrim for a stubborn ear infection, and broke out in BAD hives after about 3 weeks of taking the med. She got so many hives that they basically merged and she was bright red from head to toe! Scared the bejeepers out of me, and I took her to the ER. They gave her a whopping dose of Benadryl, and she slowly (over 2 days) regained her normal color. Now I just have the memory of my bright-red blond baby, in just a diaper and pink tennis shoes, terrorizing the ER! Because we're not going to stay in that

[Megan]

I agree with the "common area" campout suggestion -- unless you think the littles would make that unbearable.

When I was growing up no one had co-ed sleepovers, but I don't find it particularly shocking. Perhaps that's because my 4 years of college were just one long co-ed sleepover -- and it was great! Unlike what Harry & Sally posits, it is possible for men and women to just be friends.

[Judy]

Not a thing wrong with the sleepover idea! We lived on a farm so our daughter had her classmates come sleepover around a campfire on the creekside. They roamed around all night long while my husband and I stayed close by to assist those who were a bit afraid of the being outdoors camping or for those who decided it'd be fun to go fishing in the creek. My husband helped those kids find sticks and make fishing poles which they soon abandoned to catch crawdads, which they ended up cooking and eating! We did it again the following year as well but my husband and I let his nephew watch over the kids instead -- we were worn out from staying up all night!
Don't hesitate to check in with Mother Mayo if Patrick doesn't seem to be improving! If you want the names of three ENT's there to consult with, contact me(my husband did his residency there and we still keep in touch with some of the folks there).

[azita]

Happy to hear that your lungs are OK!

[Natasha]

Please please raffle off some of Patrick's tie-dyed socks. Or sell them. My little boy would love some, and his mother is too lazy to figure out how to do it.

[Mara]

Yes to the sleepover. At this age there is no reason for it to be an issue; perfectly natural to have slumber parties with best friends regardless of gender.

[Jessica]

This might be a little too adult/political for your taste as a parent but if Patrick likes Jonathan Coulton he might enjoy Tim Minchin too.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_SFdUJLebzU

[Robyn]

"...watching him like white sauce over high heat"--very nice.

Also, tie-dye socks? Yes, please.

[terri c]

So glad your lung is OK! Hope the sulfa does the trick; MUST see photos of Creepy and also the partitioned tree!

[Erika]

Oooh....have a tye dye sock fund raiser and let Patrick pick a charity. Just a thought.

[tgsdmom]

P.S.
Terry Pratchett's Discworld has some good film adaptations too. http://movies.netflix.com/WiMovie/The_Color_of_Magic/70213026?trkid=2361637

[Mama Fuss]

I think I'm with the many posters above who would suggest letting them have the sleep over and just put them in a place that isn't the bedroom. That is often a good idea regardless when it comes to sleepovers, in my opinion. Of course, I'm going by my own memories, not experience as a parent, as my oldest child is the same age as the twins.

Isn't it awful that we have to think about these things with 4th graders? Even if we trust our children there is the issue of propriety and appearance.

So relieved that your lungs are okay.

I hope you and your family have a wonderfully Merry Christmas, Julia!

[elsiroomom]

I would not do the sleepover (I guess I'm the minority report) - but I would allow a "sleep under" in which there is playing and staying up later than usual, and then everyone returns to their place of origin and goes to bed in their own bed. In the interests of full disclosure - we don't really let our kids do sleepovers. Daughter who is 9 has a friend who we like, but whose home situation is pretty questionable in terms of supervision, and so rather than prohibit some sleepovers and allow others - we've gone with none. We reserve the right to completely change that rule if the circumstances seem right. We're inconsistent like that.
I got hives from Bactrim about 1 hour into a 3 hour law school final - about 8 days into a 10 day cycle of medication. I told the proctor I was breaking out in hives, and that I might not be able to finish the test - I was told that it was too bad for me since I'd already started - I powered through. I don't think I did any worse on that test than any other law school exam..... SO - just watch for late breaking hives - but hopefully he is not allergic - and if not - sulfa drugs are good stuff.
I don't know if Creepy would be on the top of my tree - but Creepy would definitely have a place.

[Tripta]

Chiming in to say let them have the sleepover. I had'em with friends/cousins till I was 12-13ish. And then I didn't want to, myself. Not sure what happened. But they were fun while they lasted!

[MJ]

On a different issue - I am not normally an alarmist, but I thought of you and Patrick when I saw a reference to and then read this article about using tap water in neti pots. Please boil the water! And have a wonderful Christmas.
http://www.npr.org/blogs/health/2011/12/19/143960631/second-neti-pot-death-from-amoeba-prompts-tap-water-warning?ft=1&f=100

[Amy]

Terry Pratchett - love, love, love and the fourth and final book in the Tiffany Aching/Wee Free Men Quadlogy(? -there's 4 of them!) is uplifting and heartbreaking in one fell swoop. I agree that if you go the rest of the Discworld series The Colour of Magic and The Light Fantastic (the first 2) probably aren't the best but Granny Weatherwax, Vimes, Vetinari Carrot and DEATH will knock your socks off (can't wait to share with my daughter in a couple of years.
Have you tried Angie Sage? The Septimus Heap Trilogy. They're pretty good

[Andrea]

Haven't read all the comments, but until puberty seriously arrives (and maybe even then) the sleepover will be fine. My daughter has a lot of friends who are boys and we've had a few of those sleepovers. You make sure they're all tucked into their spots and keep an eye on them, but you'd do that anyway, to be sure they're not doing anything wacky like climbing out the windows, right?

My husband has the same issue with making arrangements...or not making them. Funny.

[lizneust]

I'd do the sleep over in the living room. Of course, if this is her first sleep over, be prepared for "I wanna go home NOW" at 2:00 AM.

I'm another person who had a mid-course reaction to sulfa drugs. Make sure you have some Benadryl on hand just in case, but he'll probably be fine.

Love Terry Prachett. You should also read the book he wrote with Neil Gaiman, Good Omens, which is very funny. Has Patrick read any of the Neil Gaiman stuff for kids yet? The Graveyard Book is a wonderful story and not too scary. Coraline is CREEPY, but also very good.

My husband once spent 45 minutes on the phone with a buddy. He had called to wish said buddy congratulations on the birth of his first born. At the end of the conversation, I asked for details. And my wonderful, incredibly intelligent husband looked at me, tilted his head, and said, "Um, I think he said it was a boy." Yep. That's it. (In his defense, he remembered 15 minutes later that it was in fact a boy and that the boy's name was Peter. But still.)

[kara]

Oh, how I cannot wait for:

-The sulfa drug to help Patrick
-Photos of the final ultimate decorated tree, however that works out
-Patrick's reaction to Jonathan Coulton
-The raffle for Patrick's tie-tyed socks (or his Etsy shop. Seriously, he would end up with a college fund)

[Buy Propecia]

http://propeciabestprice.com/ buy propecia finasteride hair growth [url=http://propeciabestprice.com/]pills buy propecia[/url] buy propecia in london
generic hair loss buy propecia

[Christine]

I don't know where exactly I should put this, but you said you'd like constructive criticism from the lucky people who won a copy of The Golden Ball. I was one of those people, my copy even arrived in time for Christmas and beautifully inscribed by the author to my daughter, and having read it twice today (and heard my husband read it once more) for the 3-year-old and the 5-year-old, I am now in a position to give such.

It's obviously a hit with the kids. I love the story, and the verse, as you said, is wonderful. I think my favourite couplet is "I thought you seemed too shrewd, my son/ to be a mere amphibian." Though I also do like "And in that moment she could see/ The frog have an epiphany." I love that it explains, logically, the backstory and the after-story, and that she mentioned that friendship is not something you can command. She basically deals with any quibble you might ever have had about the story.

My one tiny issue, if you could call it that, would be that the font is a little offputting. It's quite dense and bold, and makes it look, at first glance, as if it will be a lot of tedious reading. (Of course, once you launch into the lovely rhyme you discover that it flows along beautifully.) It might be difficult for new readers to read, but then again, it's clearly aimed at an adult read-aloud-er.

But we love it, and thank you.

[Kathleen]

Another pro-coed sleepover voter. My son is 19 now and I cannot directly trace any damage to the many co-ed sleep overs he had with his best girl friends. I'll let you know if that changes.

[Cialis Online]

http://zithromaxph.com/ price cheap zithromax [url=http://zithromaxph.com/]zithromax price[/url] what is 500 mg azithromycin http://genericcialisshop.com/ buy generic cialis online uk [url=http://genericcialisshop.com/]generic cialis[/url] viagra shipped overnight cialis generic http://cialisonlineph.com/ buy cialis online without a over the counter [url=http://cialisonlineph.com/]buy cialis online[/url] purchase cheap cialis online

[Cialis Online]

http://nolvadexbestprice.com/ synthroid and tamoxifen drug interactions [url=http://nolvadexbestprice.com/]buy tamoxifen[/url] pct nolvadex buy http://kamagrabestprice.com/ wiki buy kamagra [url=http://kamagrabestprice.com/]kamagra uk cheap[/url] kamagra jelly side effects http://genericcialisshop.com/ generic cialis canadian [url=http://genericcialisshop.com/]cialis pharmacy[/url] canadian generic cialis

[Cialis Online]

http://nolvadexbestprice.com/ buy nolvadex side effects [url=http://nolvadexbestprice.com/]buy nolvadex[/url] buy nolvadex http://clomidph.com/ buy clomid without prescription ovarian cysts [url=http://clomidph.com/]online clomid no prescription[/url] generic clomid at costco http://propeciaph.com propecia cost availability [url=http://propeciaph.com]order propecia[/url] propecia cost nz

[amy]

Happy birthday to the 13s!

[Just me]

Way off topic here but I know you were pretty fascinated by toddler obsessions when Patrick was in the ABC days. Here's a new one: Toilets! It's a cute little story from CNN.

http://www.hlntv.com/article/2011/12/28/kohler-toilet-christmas-video

[Generic Viagra]

http://accutanepharm.com cipla accutane online [url=http://accutanepharm.com]accutane online[/url] liquid accutane prices http://genericviagradelivery.com/ buy viagra overnight [url=http://genericviagradelivery.com/]order viagra[/url] where can i buy generic viagra http://rogainepharm.com/ propecia cost blog [url=http://rogainepharm.com/]minoxidil online[/url] reductil us buy propecia http://clomidpharm.com/ using clomid without prescription clomiphene citrate [url=http://clomidpharm.com/]clomid online[/url] clomid online canada drugs http://zithromaxi.com/ generic zithromax azithromycin bacterial infections [url=http://zithromaxi.com/]buy zithromax[/url] zithromax buy online without prescription

[Megan]

I started reading your blog when Julie posted about your 40th birthday, and now check it every day. I love your kids, and can't wait to see what Patrick chooses to do with his talents when he's older. I got the iXL for my 15-month-old for Christmas and he loves it--thank you for the recommendation. I'm progressively reading your blog backwards, and am now a month before (after) the twins' birth. I'm so excited for them to be born!

[MomVee]

My best friend was a boy from 1st grade to fourth grade. We had sleepovers and slept in the same room but his mother oversaw the changing into pajamas process closely, and it was done one at a time.

[Crystal]

I bought three mini fake trees a couple of years ago at Target's dollar section. Then I found crappy mini-tree ornaments which were okay, but last year Fred Meyer had really cool mini-tree glass ornament sets, and I got several on sale after Christmas. I wanted them for outdoor displays, I have some giant glass ornaments and some tiny ones. But I got one set for each of the boys, gold, red and blue, plus I have all manner of bells (they are my "thing", particularly now that we live in snowville USA, and have horses.... still working on the sleigh, or training said horses to... you know, pull the damn thing). They are cool retro glass ornament sets, with different finishes in each set, plus the retro glass tree topper. I also got mini strands of lights.

Now each boy gets to decorate their own tree and leave my tree the heck alone. :)

If Patrick's sinuses aren't broke don't fix them? Like, you know, the endless sinus infections probably caused by the lingering crud? What? Really?

Wow....

Good thing you have a backbone, Julia.... Not sure how folks think they are in any way able to judge the medical decisions you make on behalf of your child.

Glad the lung issue is a non-issue.

Too many folks I know/know of had a right-crappy 2011.... Let's buck the trend this year, shall we?

[mp3 for meditation]

Specifics of the article deals with great things and matters in the government.

[Propecia]

http://escialis.com/ tadalafil en productos de farmacia [url=http://escialis.com/]cialis generico[/url] cialis generico barcelona http://ipropecia.com/ buy propecia online [url=http://ipropecia.com/]finasteride[/url] buy propecia used http://cheapviagrawp.com where can i buy generic viagra [url=http://cheapviagrawp.com]cheap generic viagra[/url] buy viagra new zealand