Gak

I thought I was going to be able to get back to you with my tale of really icky basement woe before my family arrived for the week but in retrospect that was not going to happen. House guests and septic system failure do not leave a lot of time for leisurely chats with imaginary friends.

I just typed that and as I did so I heard a phantom Steve saying "It's NOT the septic system" so fine. What happened is this: last March (the last time my family visited, now that you mention it) the, uh, thing that, um, collects, er, waste water, in the basement which is connected to another thing that uses a pump or something to get the er um up to the septic tank failed. It failed and the alarm failed and everything flooded and kept flooding in the most disgusting way possible. We had a restoration company come and clean everything and replace the carpet but we noticed there was a still a bit of a... vaguely unpleasant odor in the far back corner of the basement where the pit thing lives in the electrical closet. We don't use that space, like, ever and we thought maybe it would fade in time but it's been months and it hadn't. So we called a plumber and asked him to look at a few things in the house, among them the thing in the basement. He decided to reseal it and we said okey-dokey and he did and we paid him and he left. And that was that until about six days later when Steve went down to the electrical closet and realized the carpet was squinching beneath his feet.

YUCK.

Further investigation revealed that a clamp had been removed and never replaced so every time the pump thing tried to pump and shift it merely pumped and... sprayed. Erupted, if you will. All over the room and the walls and the doors and

sorry. I should have asked if you were squeamish. You might not have wanted to read that.   

So we had the emergency restoration people out...

hey here's a hint. when you call your homeowner's insurer on a weekend and tell them that your basement is literally swimming with sewage you might get a person who says ok, here's your initial claim number and a claims adjuster will be in touch with you within one business day. they might then end the conversation as if they had been helpful. that is when you call back and say HELLO MY BASEMENT IS SWIMMING IN SEWAGE and the next person to whom you speak will say, oh, so sorry, did you want the number for someone who can come out and deal with the situation today? You will say yes, yes you do

... and our carpet is ripped up again and the drywall's gone and we lost half the stuff in the adjacent storage room and it's annoying beyond words but I suppose it could be worse. We did ask our insurance company (who raised our annual premium... anyone?... SIXTY-SIX PERCENT after our first claim in the Spring. bastards) to work with the plumber's commercial insurer and he's been very reasonable about it so we're relieved. These things happen but hopefully we will get our deductible back and they won't raise our rates again.

Still under the category of Eruptions Comma Noxious my mom noticed that Edward seemed to be uncomfortable at more or less the same time that I tracked the off smell that I thought might be feet to Edward's ear. His ear, I mean to say, smelled like feet. I took him to the pediatrician/walk-in and we were fourth in line to be seen until Edward started rolling around on the ground clawing at his head and keening at the exact moment his pediatrician's medical assistant opened the door to call someone else. She put us in a room and our pediatrician walked by the open door and veered sou'southeast to get to Edward immediately. His timing was impeccable. Edward's ear drum ruptured in several moments of blinding pain and the diagnosis couldn't have been simpler. Edward felt much better but his ear (his ear!) oozed foul whitish brownish greenish pus for four days until the drops and the amoxillian kicked in.

Whoops. Squeamish again? Sorry.

Now that Edward is feeling better he is much less psychopathic, which makes all of us feel better. He is really very lovable and charming when he isn't crazy. He has his cuddly (cudyee) things that he likes to carry around. The collection started as two small blankies but has grown to include one small brown cat named Purr, a blanket Patrick made for him out of a car patterned flannel and two transformer cars. Purr talks in a sweet, high voice and says please and thank you a lot. I like that cat. The transformers talk in low gravelly voices and keep threatening to destroy my village. They make me nervous. Edward continues to be the go-to twin for all imaginary play, although Caroline does have an imaginary little sister named Assidy (Assity?) Assidy is five and goes to kindergarten and has a dog and a mother named Julin. Like Patrick's Sassy (who was a 153 year old cat) Assidy (I think the name similarity is a coincidence since Sassy had left us long before the twins were sentient) seems to exist simply to give Caroline a foothold in conversations for which her limited life experience would otherwise render her ineligible. If we mention a friend in Africa, for example, Caroline volunteers that Assidy also has a friend in Africa. Who rides a giraffe. 

Edward asks a lot of questions. Why? Why are we having chicken? Why are we reading this book? Why is that Arkansas? "Um" doesn't work as an answer but I have discovered that "Because it is not Louisiana" suits him just fine. And it's true, too.

Caroline is much more pointed. The other day she asked (again) for a dog while she, Patrick and I were in the car. Patrick the cat lover said, "We can't get a dog because it would chase Jamy and Darwin and Kelvin."

Caroline said, "Mommy, would a dog scare the cats?"

And I said, "Yes. Yes it would."

She thought for a moment and then asked, "Mommy, do cats die?"

I thought oh GOOD LORD and said, "Ummmmmmmmm sometimes" which caused Patrick to laugh and say "Sometimes? Cats sometimes die? And the rest of the time they live forever?"

Caroline stuck to the point, "So if our cats sometimes died I could get a puppy like Assidy?"

My mom says if we discover the front door ajar and cans of tuna leading a trail to the woods we can be pretty sure we know who the culprit is.

Question for you. A true discussion question about which reasonable people can disagree so... about sex. I read somewhere that parents should start to discuss sex with their children around... I don't remember. Eight maybe? Or ten? Elementary school, certainly, and I thought hmmm glad I don't ever have to worry about that ever ever and then Patrick and I were listening to one of the Tiffany Aching books (someone here gave me a very timely heads up on some of the mature themes in the last one, thank you. we haven't gotten there yet but I will read it first) and the subject of sex came up. Not in any particularly lascivious way, more in an older character asking a younger character if they needed The Sex Talk way. I looked at Patrick and he blinked at me and I found myself pausing the book and saying, "Do you, ah, know what they are talking about?"

Patrick said, "Oh yeah of course."

And just as I was trying to decide what to say next he said, "Book, please!" and I let it go. Until right now.

So at what age does one start talking about the whats and the wherefores of sex? Patrick has thus far been very sheltered in that he is completely disinterested in mainstream culture (his tastes are on par with those of an elderly Oxford don) but this new class of his has certainly expanded his horizons. There are some zippy kids in there. Anyway if you think fourth or fifth grade is about right (hey, two part essay question) any good books to recommend either for him or me? We're book people. Nothing like a nice straight-forward non-awkward unembarrassing book to get things started, right? 

Or not?       

Comments

[alison]

I have no personal reference for this book (yet... my kids are 3 and 9mo), but I've heard her on TV and radio, and the book seems to get good reviews, so... Talking to your Kids about Sex by Dr. Laura Berman. http://www.amazon.com/Talking-Your-Kids-About-Sex/dp/0756657385

I know she recommends talking to them very early on, even 6ish, about age-appropriate things, so that it's kind of a continuing conversation as they get older. Basic mechanics are probably for the 10yo set, and then you start weaving your family's value system into it too.

Good luck, I'm scared about this part of parenting. ;)

[Sasha]

It's Perfectly Normal by Robie Harris and Michael Emberley

It's Not the Stork by Harris and Emberley

It's So Amazing by Harris and Emberley

These three books combined deal with puberty, sex/sexual health and pregnancy/childbirth. They are age appropriate from about 4-5 to early adolescence and when my oldest was in 4th grade, she read them obsessively. Highly recommend.

[yasmara]

Yes! I 2nd the Laura Berman suggestion. I actually saw her on Oprah & really liked her approach with kids. Here's the link to some free downloadable PDFs:

http://www.oprah.com/relationships/Download-Dr-Laura-Bermans-Talking-to-Kids-About-Sex-Handbook

[Emily]

I'm a professional in the talking-to-kids-about sex arena, and I highly recommend It's So Amazing for Patrick.

I actually recommend people start these conversations in preschool when it's a science question and not a personal question as much. So while you're at it, get It's Not the Stork for the twins. :)

Patrick very likely knows, or at least knows something. It's common talk on the playground by his age. It's very important for kids to have correct info from home as who knows what they're learning from peers. Good for you for doing it!

[Jennifer]

I wish the 7-11 version was available NOW!

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1809291619/what-makes-a-baby

[Pam in Missouri]

I guess I'm weird. My kids are 5 (boy) and 6 (girl) and we've actually talked mechanics in very broad terms. We happened to see dogs humping in the park and that kind of led on to the discussion. We are a 1 bathroom household and everyone sees everyone else's business. I don't think my kids have actually put all the information together to understand what mommy and daddy do when the door is closed but they have all the various pieces of information. I vote for simple truth early.

My kids are adopted and I've applied advice from that realm to the birds and the bees. Get talking early. Even if they don't fully understand what you are talking about, you are filling their heads with truth AND practicing to make the subject more comfortable for yourself later on when the conversations get a little more detailed and awkward.

Sorry, no advice on books.

[Emily]

Oh, and for you I highly recommend "From Diapers to Dating" by Debrah Haffner. She even breaks it down by age, so you can just read the chapters on preschoolers and kids in Patrick's age range.

[BigSkyMum]

I wish I knew where to buy this book, because I think it does the job and does it well. And I love how the baby is smiling as it's coming out: http://www.planetdan.net/pics/babies/index.htm Keep clicking and it shows all the pages. So maybe you just need to give Patrick the link.

[Melospiza]

Oh god. I have a ten year old. This is a very pertinent question and...no. No we haven't. I did check It's So Amazing out of the library a year ago or maybe two and I did notice my oldest sneaking glances into it when he thought I wasn't looking. It was like trying to engage a paranormal phenomenon in a sex talk, though. Any hint that I was about to look directly at him or address him in any way and both he and the book would vanish into the ephemera.

I think the time has come to stop pretending that THAT counted as our sex talk and we're all good, thanks.

Augh.

[Gina]

We have the It's So Amazing Book that we just kind of left lying around in our passive way and the boys will pick it up here and there. The cartoons seem to make it less threatening. We're also fortunate that our school has a "Growth and Human Development" course starting in 5th grade. One night parents and kids all get together for dinner at school to watch a film and have a discussion. The kids pretend to be mortified but they get a lot of good information this way.

[Slim]

SASSY IS GONE?!

I am really questioning your ability to keep us, your loyal readers, informed of key developments. As payback, I am not going to answer your questions about kids and knowledge of sex, even though I am in charge of answering said questions for my own brood (because my husband is a WASP and can't cope) and for a friend's kid (because she finds it uncomfortable).

PS If there is no Sassy, whom does Patrick use for unfavorable comparisons?

[Christina]

Recently, while in the car my sophisticated 6 year old daughter was asking for the details about how mommies and daddies MAKE babies ("do they just decide they want one??"), and b/c I am of course liberal and cool, and not at all prudish I took a deep breath and dived in... and out came a very garbled pseudo scientific explanation possibly somehow involving farm animals... the conversation ended abruptly when the little voice from the back seat said,"I have NO IDEA what you are talking about" So,ummm yes, thanks for the book suggestions.

[Ruth]

"It's So Amazing!" is great. We bought it when I was expecting my third child ... the older two were 8 and 6, and determined to figure out how this happened.

Of course, the knowledge contained therein is responsible for my daughter informing her kindergarten class that she -- and every girl in the room! -- has all the eggs in her ovaries she's ever gonna have, RIGHT NOW, because you're BORN WITH THEM!!!!! (leading her teacher to tell me, with a rueful grin, that she was anticipating a few phone calls that evening), but aside from the over sharing, I thought the book dealt information factually and without judgement.

Highly recommended.

[Kathy]

A very timely post from another blog I adore:

http://www.vintagechildrensbooksmykidloves.com/2012/02/where-did-i-come-from-not-in-malaysia.html

I haven't read it but it seems like it might be a good conversation starter.

As to age, my son is 2 and intend to pretend this will never happen for a few more years.

[rosie_kate]

This post made me laugh so much! The rambling wit makes the mundane so hilarious! (But then I wonder if it's kind to laugh at your misfortunes...)

As for "the talk(s)", I think a barnyard makes it all so much easier. We watched kittens being born when my son was 4, and he learned all sorts of fun technical terms. Now he's almost 7 and often wonders aloud what the big duck is doing to that other duck, and why does Opal the milk goat have to go see a daddy goat so she can have babies in the spring? Discussions ensue. He doesn't yet know the human particulars, but he knows the parts and that babies have to have a mommy and a daddy. So, um, get you a farm?

[Jane]

I think, now or earlier. My daughters had books and talks and conversations early. Of course, it helped that we are Unitarians, and one of the curriuclums (curriculi?) we used was "The Haunting House", one lesson of which was the house we were in before we were born. The kids were covered with sheets, a midwife came with pictures and a audio of the materal heartbeat, and the kids were....born. They liked it so much we did it over and over, and conversations were had and questions were asked, and it was all quite lovely.

[Liz]

I got this book for my 11 yr-old a year ago. http://www.amazon.com/Whats-Happening-Body-Book-Boys/dp/1557047693/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1330103679&sr=1-1
I read it first, then let him read it. He asked me some questions when he was done. The book goes into great details. I even learned a few things.

[Halyn]

Whatever happened to Eardeer and Legdeer? I loved that photo of Toddler Edward running around the house with them.

You know, a puppy might actually be pretty easy to introduce to the cats...and a smaller breed might not be intimidating to the cats. Just sayin'...wouldn't want Caroline to take matters into her own hands.

[sheilah]

My son is about the same age as Patrick and I have spoken to him about egg and sperm and a piece from mommy & a piece from daddy (being an IVF child makes it kinda sciency and easy, I think), but we haven't talked about 'the old-fashioned way' the sperm and egg get together. Haven't tackled that one yet. I should look into getting/reading these books too so I can stop fast-forwarding through so many scenes in movies (not that I watch too many movies containing sex scenes...).

[Jenn]

Poor Edward, I also had a ruptured ear drum when I was about his age and my mother also figured out something was wrong when my ear smelled nasty. Good times!

[Stefanie]

For what it's worth I have a 10-next-month-year-old and his father and I have been sensing lately that it's probably Time. I don't know if that's because we have such excellent parent radar or because we caught him surreptitiously attempting to google "las vegas stripers" [sic] the other day. His tastes tend to hew pretty closely to Patrick's, so I guess we have some zippy kids in our school, too. I guess I should be glad his spelling's so atrocious.

[Courtney]

Ewwww about the non-sewer issues. Poor Edward and the blinding pain, poor little monkey. Caroline makes me LOL as always. My 4 year old daughter has 3 imaginary little sisters (she really has only one older sister so maybe she's wanting someone to boss around) named Peach Pie, Cherry Limeaid, and Sarah. They all dress just like her and they do everything together. It started out with just Cherry Limeaid and then the other 2 came along a few weeks later. Hey, the more imaginary children that I don't have to clean up after the merrier!

[Karen]

Just please, for the love of all that is holy and good, do not do what my parents did. They didn't want to have The Talk. But they figured we needed to learn somehow. So they got a book about sex, ostensibly written for kids (I vividly remember the purple cover and the 1970s-era hippy illustrations) and stuck it in the family bookcase. They figured we'd find it eventually, being avid, nay, rabid readers.

And we found it. I showed it to my brother, who was three years older and a tad savvier than I, and he shrugged and said, "I guess Mom and Dad put it there."

I read it. The couple in the book, as I recall, had sex out in the forest. God knows why. But being a logical child at age seven, I immediately knew why my parents hadn't had any more kids after me. It was because--they didn't go camping! OBVIOUSLY you had to have sex out in the woods, not in a boring old bed, for a baby to happen. That solved my worrying about whether I was going to get a baby brother or sister.

So, basically, for several years of my youth, I thought you had to have sex in the forest in order to have babies. Then when I did ask my mom if that was true, she laughed at me. Stupid book.

The main rule in our house, and I am happy with this rule, is that my husband does all the sex talk with our sons. Since I have all boys, you can imagine what a timesaver this is! "Mom, what's circumcision?" "Ask your father when he gets home." "It's in the BIBLE, Mom, why can't you tell me....Ohhhh....I get it." It also helps that I have a very squeamish 11 year old, who would actually prefer it if we were all Ascended and not having to bother with gross things like bodies.

[Rin]

Oh my! I love the German one. If you really want to get a copy, it's for sale on German amazon! http://www.amazon.de/Wie-Vater-Mutter-Kind-bekommen/dp/3494013195

[Whitney]

You might care to check out http://birdsandbeesandkids.com/. I heard Amy Lang, whose site this is and doesn't she look so cheery and capable? on Dan Savage's podcast and she had great things to say about talking to kids matter-of-factly and briefly and good tips on getting out of your own way to do it.

[Tine]

"It's So Amazing" is excellent. Crammed with info and funny in a quirky way. Patrick will like it.

I actually have it in my desk drawer right now (from the library), but I've decided to get a simpler one for my 8yo. He's an excellent reader, but he knows ZILCH about reproduction. I think we need to start on a bit more basic level.

[JennMars]

We had a similar problem with the pump that pumped the er,um, you know from our downstairs bathroom up to the sewer line. The bill for the repair was about $400 (it didn't cause any damage outside the closet that contained the pump) ... I slipped the plumber's assistant who literally spent half a day digging the er, um, you know $100 on his way out the door. I figured it was the least I could do for someone who had just performed a task akin to digging out the castle middens.

@Karen -- OMG!! I was just going to post about what was known in our family as "the purple book." Although I thought the mother and father were in bed. And that there were chickens. And (amusingly, in light of Caroline's recent interest) puppies. Anyway, my recollection is that it was a pretty straightforward book that gave us the basics we needed to have. Can't comment on anything more recent, though. The kids in our family seem to have emerged from the womb with a working knowledge of where babies come from.

[Anne]

My friend who has four children, the youngest adopted, tried to be open and honest about how children came into the family. She felt that she had stumbled onto a perfect teaching moment when her car passed a field of cows in which one of the cows was giving birth. So she pulled over to the side of the road, and indeed, the kids were fascinated. They all watched, for some 20 or 30 minutes.
And when they got home, they rushed in to share the news. "Daddy, Daddy, we got to watch a cow adopt a calf!"
I think yes, this information isn't all necessarily acquired in one session.

[Jen]

My three-year-old is right there with Caroline. He likes our cat, but he desperately wants a puppy. A brown puppy. I quote: "I will get a brown puppy when our kitty goes away."

[another Julia]

Eight or ten?! That seems really late to me. I thought you were going to ask for book recommendations for the twins. We are of the opinion that it's good to start as early as possible (like age 2-3) with age-appropriate information about where babies come from, etc; we like the series that starts with "It's Not the Stork" for once they get a little older (age 4-5). I think it's better to gradually add to their knowledge through the years and not save up for an awkward conversation when they've already heard things from the kids around them.

[Amelia]

Fifth grade is when my Catholic elementary school covered sex in health class, so if you want to get there first, I suggesst you do it soon.

[Brigid Keely]

Until my parents put in an overhead sewer, our sump pump would back up and spray raw sewage into our basement every time it rained heavily. Half our basement was finished, and my brothers and I had rooms and a bathroom there, and the other half was unfinished and was laundry and storage. we lost SO MUCH STUFF before we were able to scrape together money for an overhead sewer, and for whatever reason our insurance didn't cover cleaning OR replacing anything. I don't know if you guys have better insurance or more comprehensive insurance or what, but I'm so glad that you do because WOW is that an awful job to do yourself.

[Jesse]

I have no recommendations on books as I don't have kids but I would encourage you to PLEASE have this talk as soon as possible. I was in 8th grade before I found out that babies did not come out of your belly button. They showed us a horrific video on "The Miracle of Life" or something similarly titled and it promptly convinced the entire class of girls that we would never, ever have sex if that was the result. Unfortunately, our school was parochial so they didn't bother to explain how to go about having sex that didn't result in babies. Instead they told us that every time you have sex with someone, your soul is bonded to theirs and the more people you have sex with, the more fragmented your soul becomes and that's why there are so many unhappy sinners....or something. Twenty years later, I've managed to piece together all the details on my own but I have to say, I still think it would be far more civilized and logical for babies to be born out of your bellybutton than squeezed out of a vagina.

[Bethany]

Don't have time to read other comments, but wanted to make 2 quick points:

1) Just because Patrick says he knows what sex is DEFINITELY doesn't mean he knows what sex actually is!

2) My Mom started talking about sex with me in 3rd grade. It seemed perfect then and also in looking back. We got books from the library.

Good luck and I can't wait to read your writings keeping us updated!!

[Jan]

Yes, yes, on It's Not The Stork and It's So Amazing. (And, later for us, It's Perfectly Normal, but my oldest is just 7.)

I bought both of these when my 5 and 7 year old were caught one too many times behind closed doors .. er .. examining their differences. Mostly the older examining the younger, as she was the one with the real questions.

I read It's So Amazing to her 1-2 chapters at a time, with a day's break in between and a set-aside time both before and after for Q and A. I found that even if she didn't have questions immediately after, she came up with them and sometimes wanted to ask them before we started the next chapter.

I especially love that it's accurate, inclusive information with really no agenda. And that's no mean trick in this day and age, but I was impressed. The book mentions, for example, that some religious traditions frown on masturbation, but goes on to say that *most* doctors agree that it is normal and healthy to do so. Totally leaves the door open for a parents who wanted to bring up and explain their beliefs.

For Patrick, I'm sure you could skip the first book altogether, as the information in the second is mostly just a superset of what's in the first.

One thing I made sure I did before starting all this with my 7 yo (which I recognize is a little early, but she was asking lots of questions) is tell her in no uncertain terms that this was not the sort of information that was to be shared with, for example, classmates at school. That it was not her job to educate them and that if they were curious they should ask a parent. That's all I need -- to get a call from the principal saying that my daughter was telling a playground full of 6 year olds the ins and outs (no pun intended) of conception.

[Eli]

One more vote for the Harris and Emberley books. I have given them to my girls, starting with the first one at age 4, and they absolutely love them! We will be unveiling the one for 10 and up when my oldest has her 10th birthday in April. I agree with the other person who suggests maybe getting all three books and getting the twins started soon. My guess is that Caroline will especially enjoy learning all there is to know in the 4 year old book!

[Amelia]

Of course with Patrick being so into math and Science, you could also just pick up that nova episode with all the in utero footage - http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/body/life-greatest-miracle.html#

[Rose]

After having the sex talk with my 7 year-old daughter, she asked, regarding her kindergarten teacher, "So how did Mrs Springer get pregnant by accident then? I mean, how do you ACCIDENTALLY end up with a penis in your vagina?"

[Kaethe]

I talk about sex with my kids whenever it comes up. I try to avoid both lectures, which they get at school, or the "I'm too embarrassed to discuss anything to do with bodies, here, read this forty-year-old pamphlet". If they ask a question, answer the question, and then ask "is that what you wanted to know?"

Feel free to practice with us. It just occurred to me: does Patrick read your blog? If he does, then you know the biology is well covered.

[Shawna]

I am going to check out some of the books people are suggesting myself.

Here's a freak-out which I may have mentioned before: in CPR training I asked when they stopped doing child CPR and started doing adult and was told "8 or puberty, whichever comes first."

So, um, yeah, still can't get over that one. What happened to 13? And my kid is now six so I guess we have to start having some sort of discussion on puberty and sex and stuff soon... I quail at the thought. My strategy when they kids were very young and asking where babies come from was to deluge them with the scientific version involving haploid cells, but that won't be very useful when they actually need to be up on the real-world stuff.

[Andi]

I learned about sex from Judy Blume. I would've gone that route with my boys (9,7,3), too, but we have chickens and chickens have sex all day long. Well, roosters have sex and hens have frequent headaches. So now everyone here knows how eggs are fertilized and how babies are made. Maybe get chickens and call them puppies?

[Lisa]

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/whats-going-on-down-there-karen-gravelle/1102272133

This is what we used. (And I learned some stuff, too!)

[erin]

We have friends who go to the Unitarian church in our town. The Unitarians have a sexuality curriculum which I like to imagine takes the place of actual Sunday school classes, but in reality may be additional to them. Not sure. In any case, they lent us their books -- one for our 2nd grade boy, one for our 4th grade boy -- both age appropriate, clear and tolerant. I would recommend them if only I knew the actual titles. Surely one of your readers will be able to supply more information.

[Amy]

I just had to mention that Assidy brings back fond memories of my daughter's good friend, Awesome. He was always getting into trouble, as I recall. :)

[Monica C.]

Assidy.... that just cracks me up!! And I love it that she has a puppy.

As you know, my Sierra and your Patrick are both June 2002 babies, and I had to begin this journey last year because Sierra has started early puberty and I didn't want her to start her period and recreate the scene from Carrie because she didn't know what was going on. The book that our pediatrician recommended to explain all of *that* deliberately doesn't go into sex at all ... so it's still lingering out there, all needing to be talked about and whatnot.

Sierra will likely be going to a new school for 5th grade (please God, please let her get in) and I just feel like she needs to know this information before starting middle school, so I will talk to her about it sometime this spring/summer.

While I am extremely nervous about this Talk, I am also already laughing because I am pretty sure she has NO idea, so the look on her face should be priceless.

I don't think my mother ever had The Talk with me, formally, so this is all new!

[Erin C.]

When my boy/girl step-twins turned 10 my husband and I got them each My body, my self. They have a boys version and a girls version. We told them that they each had the summer to read them over and any time they had questions, to come to us. http://www.amazon.com/My-Body-Self-Boys-Happening/dp/1557047677/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1330117532&sr=8-1

I have to say, they never had any questions. We plan on being as straight forward as possible when they do. I really don't want anyone to be afraid of asking questions. Prophylactics all the way, baby!

[ali]

I again echo the recommendations for "It's So Amazing" for Patrick and "It's not the Stork" for the twins, and in a couple of years "It's Perfectly Normal".
I read Amazing with my son (now 12)when he was 8ish and provided him with Perfectly Normal about a year ago (he would rather eat flaming swords than read it with me now but I suspect he consults it ocassionally). My daughter's favorite library book when she was fourish was the Stork.
Really good resources!

[sarah]

My daughter had the first Harris and Emberley book at 2 or 3 because she was asking very specific questions. I felt that if she cared enough to ask questions, I should give her straight answers. She is now 8 and has the second book. She devoured it the day I bought it. The information is clear, accurate and age appropriate. She so far has no embarrassment or inhibition in asking questions and since we try to respond truthfully and calmly I hope that that will last.

My son is four this spring and he will be inheriting the first book eventhough he seems to have no interest. I just hope that by making it a subject of neutral conversation now he may be as relaxed about it as his sister when his interest starts leaning in that direction.

[Hannah]

I don't have any book recommendations, but I will pass on this piece of horrifying information (well, it horrified me, anyway): Rates of STDs are growing fastest among MIDDLE SCHOOL aged children! So my vote is for a sooner-rather-than-later sex talk.

Even though I teach and research health communication, that bit of info throws me every time. Good luck!

[Heidi]

Oh, Edward. I can't even imagine having an eardrum rupture. Oh, sweet Edward...