The Word Judgmentally Makes Me Nervous Too

I'm sorry but it is true. At the parties that I have attended for the ten-and-unders gifts arrived covered in giftwrap, nestled in tissue paper, and stuffed into bags. All three. Look, I'm not advocating for this method. I'm not saying it is right. I'm just telling you how it is. I'm pretty sure for adult gifts we just do the tissue and bag (at least, I did on Friday with the wine and the book) but out here in this specific wedge of Minnesota we go all out to celebrate the natal day of a child. I'm surprised the bag itself is not then placed inside the trunk of a tree felled just for the occasion.

My new plan though (once I work through my existing bag stash, naturally - shouldn't be long since I am already back to 2003) is to follow Stephanie's idea and buy some of these charming (reusable!) lunch totes and gift 'em. Aren't those cute? Or... oh for cute as I can say now that I am a Minnesotan.

Anyway, I just wanted to clarify this: wrap, nestle, stuff.

I also wanted to thank Heidi for her kindness in pointing out that I have been writing "lead" for "led" since... I'm not sure if it has been since forever but certainly for the past several weeks. I do remember looking at it critically after typing it a few times ago and thinking, "Is that right? Maybe I should look it up" but then my inner editor said, "Nonsense. It looks grate" so I left it at that.

True story: when I was in third grade I was confused as to whether the word is spelled "their" or "thier" so I wrote it both ways. My third grade teacher never corrected it so I decided that either spelling was acceptable (like color and colour) and it was not until college that someone pointed and laughed. Oh! And speaking of pointing and laughing (at me. in college) I was in a seminar my senior year when I said something something was the epitome of something but I pronounced it eh-pih-tome.

My professor actually stopped the class and said, "Did you just say eh-pih-tome?" and I said, "Um, yes?"

And he said, "Eh-pih-toh-mee! Eh-pih-toh-mee! Christ! Aren't you a senior? And are they letting you graduate with an English degree?" 

I said, "Yep."

And he said, "Who's your advisor?"

And I said, "You are, actually."

He paused and said, "You do brilliant work."

I thanked him.   

I just read that over and it sounded kind of harsh but really it was all very jolly and amusing.

Speaking of misspelled words: Patrick blocks on 'friend' (he always puts the e before the i - it's cute) and I cannot spell 'occasionally' without having to look it up every single time. Something about the c's and s's and n's and l's always makes me want to double them up all wrong. I suppose we all have certain word enemies, no?

Comments

[Diane]

committee and committment do me in every time...all those tt's and mm's and ee's - oy.

[Sarah Wynde]

The Brit words. Focussed or focused, travelled or traveled. Why do the Brits get two consonants and the Americans only get one? I want that consonant back.

Also, gray and grey. What's the difference? Are they different colors/colours? Is one a deep dark shade and the other a pale translucent sort of shade? And why can't I ever remember which is right for Americans?

[Alison]

I have to think to myself, "there's no as$ in occasionally" every time in order to get it right...

[Elyssa]

I finally figured out a way to remember that "occasion" has 2 c's -- because it's always so nice "to see" people on a happy occasion! And for Patrick, if someone is your friend, they will be your friend to the "end" (so correctly spelling "friend" has to include the word "end" at the, you know, end.

[Amy]

Restaurant. Every time.

[JG]

Niece. And vacuum.

Those two words are pretty much the only reason(?s) I appreciate the iPhone spell check.

[Hetty Fauxvert]

My husband (who now has a Ph.D. but at the time had only a master's degree) once took a philosophy class, in which my husband felt moved to discuss a certain ... parra dig 'em.

I'm not sure he's ever gotten over that one. ;o)

[Gina]

Spinach (spinich?) is a tough one for me. Also, I was an adult before I remembered to put that extra i in prairie and knew the difference between the Capitol and just a regular capital.

[Wendy]

My mother and I recently attended a kitchen shower for one of my daughter's friends. We were instructed to bring one of our favorite recipes. We purchased all of the equipment the bride would need to prepare the recipe and then--in a BFI--I put it all in a reusable shopping bag. I knew I'd scored when my daughter later told me that she'd noticed that particular gift on the table and thought it was a great idea (she was co-hosting the shower and didn't see us come in with our gift.) I've no idea how I raised this woman to be such a snob--er, so discerning, but I just basked in her praise. I need help . . .

[Amy F]

My mom, dad, and I all struggle with the word unnecessary.

[Arnebya]

I am a lover of words and spelling. I pride myself in the ability to know and spell and pronounce All Of The Words correctly. That said: separate. I have to say it sep-ah-rate in three hard syllables every time I type/write it. I lost the fourth grade spelling bee on that word. It's haunted me ever since. I was a junior in college before someone told me that idiodicy wasn't a word, that instead, it is idiocy. What idiodicy! (I still say it that way in my head.) Most recently, it was quinoa. Why? Why didn't the nice California Pizza Kitchen girl tell me it wasn't pronounced kin-oh-a?

I did catch your lead/led recently and I promise you, I told myself that it was I who was incorrect.

[Amy]

Canceled. Cancelled. Grr.

[Cate]

Mr. Rogers had a song, 'f-r-I-e-n-d special', which I sing in my head to this day.

[April]

I will never be able to effortlessly spell...guard? Because it doesn't even look wrong to me when I spell it "gaurd"--maybe because that way it looks like it sounds!

[Kathy]

Accommodate / accomodate.

And I agree with Arnebya... separate. (I'm hoping from now on I'll think of the "three hard syllables" and will be able to spell it correctly.)

[Luo Lin]

For what it's worth:

When I was a kid, I remembered "their" and "friend" by thinking of "the" + "end" o, in gloomier moments, "it was the end of their friend".

Also, my 5yo son loves to wrap presents, and has always insisted on wrapping paper plus tissue + bag.

[Lizzy]

Surprise. That's the word I have trouble with.

(And I thought quinoa was pronounced keen-wah?)

[sarah k]

Love the professor story. I remember as a kid reading a biography of Henry VIII and then telling my mom all about his treatment of poor Queen Catherine--but I pronounced it "Cathreen." I had never seen the name in print before! There've been many other such instances but that's the one that sticks in my mind.

I think I wondered about "lead" / "led" but since you are always spot-on, my inner grammar Nazi assumed my instinct was wrong. As, of course, it sometimes is. Anyway, thanks for being one of the few blogs where the integrity of language rules (and hence clarity of communication) is actually honored!

Oh, and I am way too cheap to use both wrapping paper and a bag. But you go!

[Alexicographer]

I see I have company, I struggle with accommodate and necessarily. Each of which I just had to rely on typepad -- typepad! -- to help me spell correctly. What can you (I) do? There are probably others, but it is those that spring to mind.

[sarah k]

Also, my philosophy prof used to RAIL against those who dared to insert an extra "e" in "judgment." I think of him every time I consider putting in that "e" and then recoil in horror.

[Virginia]

I am a horrible speller to begin with. But the words defiantly and definitely always causes me the most trouble. It is "definitely" that I want but I think I use defiantly more times than not.

[Jessica]

Occasionally is my nemesis also. If spell check isn't available I will bypass it entirely and just use "sometimes"...at least that one I sure of :) Another problem word that screws with me is "weird". It simply doesn't follow the rules, and causes me all kinds of consternation. I before E except after C, or when sounding like A as in neighbor and weigh...where the hell does that leave "weird" with its e-i combination unless I am supposed to be pronouncing it "wayrd"? Drives me crazy...

Also on the mispronunciation note my sister-in-law, the high school English teacher, asked me if I wanted pictures printed on glossy or "mah-tay" paper. Apparently she figured since it was spelled like a latte that it must be pronounced the same. And my husband the computer programming genius thought we could use a squirt gun to "dee-der" the cats from getting up on the table ;)

[Becky]

My word enemy is "definitely". I wrote it wrong every single time until my mom just said - remember e-i-i-e. Now I get it right every time, definitely.

[Angela]

"Exercise" gives me grief. Microsoft Word once suggested "Dexedrine" in an attempt to correct me which amused me to no end.

[victoria]

i before e,
except after c,
and when sounding as "ay"
as in "neighbor" and "weigh."

[victoria]

Has anyone noticed that The New Yorker is starting to depart from Strunk & White?

They write, "none of them WERE" (instead of "none of them was"); "focussed" (instead of "focused"); and -- what I will NEVER be able to accept -- they slop around relative pronouns, for example, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone" when those of us who learned to diagram sentences know it is "Let HIM who is without sin cast the first stone."

I feel as though the values I grew up with no longer exist, and I'm not just talking about permed hair.

[Sarah]

I'm also an English major and can't spell that word that is o---ly.

[BB from Dot]

Mnemonics are your friend. As in "a friend is a friend til the end" or the principal is your pal.

[kris (lower case)]

'I suppose we all have certain word enemies,'

definitley..
defenitly
definelty
definitely

but my biggest word enemy is the grammar nazi.. just sayin'..

[JuliaH]

Shorter words sometimes flummox me with regard to spelling. Guage is one of them. Gauge. Whatever. Oh! And I've just recently been corrected (thanks, Carl!) for pronouncing behemoth, "buh-hem-ith." I'm nearly 48 and no one thought to correct me before this? Good Lord.

[Ruth]

When I was in high school I told my neighbor a story about someone getting trapped in their car during a storm and being EN-veloped in water.

It's been over 30 years, and he's never let me live that down.

[Kylie]

Yes Lizzie - surprise (suprise) is mine too! (I find it astounding that out of All of the Words two people from a pretty small group could share one word enemy. And yes to keenwah too!). I'm surprised (got it for now) as to the number of you who have difficulty with occasionally - the 'o' is a short vowel and the 'a' is a long one so treat the consonants accordingly. Anyway, it's as simple as that for my simple mind. I'd be looking for a trick to help me if it kept tricking me up - how about 'don't let occasionally make an 'ass' out of you. Even occasionally.'. Kylie

[Teri]

I learned this is ninth grade: there's
"a rat" in separate.

[Kate]

Separate. I cannot spell separate without thinking of "disparate" first to remind myself how it should be. It should be seperate, I'm telling you! And to think I was a winner of spelling bees.

Also it took me forever to be able to say "lively" correctly. Should be lih-vely not lie-vely.

[kara]

I can't believe I'm about to admit this, but.. I was so very little when I learned to read that I often sounded words out without having ever heard them spoken, and this can still haunt (um, come back to bite) me sometimes when I SAY one of them aloud and people look at me like I have 3 heads. "Mis-CHEE-VEE-ous" (OMG WRONG) is one, and I once read aloud about "Wih-CHEE-tah Kansas" in my senior English class, but the very very very worst is "peace corpse." I know better, but I just can't get rid of it.

[Julie]

unfortunately

[ryan elizabeth]

Please, please read the comments on this blog post. They have made my day for DAYS now. And I may or may not have learned what a pony actually is. (It's about misconceptions you had when you were younger, so S-E-X is mentioned, if that's a thing for you.)
http://queserasera.org/archives/001412.html

[Heather]

Once in school I read aloud a math problem and pronounced lbs. as il-a-buls, which is how I'd read it silently to myself for years. The teacher asked, "What did you just say?" I was mortified.

[Nicky at Not My Mother]

I've recently discovered that I've been spelling weird wrong (weirdly?) all my life. That damn ei ie combination does me in.

But I was thirty something before someone fell over laughing when I said something was "awe-ry" (instead of a-wry). And hyperbole trips me up in a similar way to you and epitome. I didn't know, I'd only ever read those words. That's what you get for reading far ahead of what you hear around you I guess.

Liaise is another stupid word. It comes up a lot at work and looks wrong every single time.

[Patty]

Surprise - in 3rd grade my daughter told me that there's a surprise in the word...rpr
My daughter reads A LOT, has a very sophisticated vocabulary for a high school junior, and often mispronounces words that she's only encountered in print. There's a bunch but my favorite is a character in a story that was afflicted with tuber(like a potato)-COO-lee-oh-sis.
To spell definitely I usually remind myself of the word finite. I'm a good speller, so I think it's more of a ritual that an actually spelling help.
And, as a good speller and an awesome proof-reader, my personal spelling bugaboos are "burrito" and "spaghetti."

[Kirsten]

I got edits back on a 9th grade paper with the words "non sequitur" written above a phrase I had written with a little carrot ^. I had no idea what it meant or why I had to put in "non sequitur" in the middle of my sentence, but if that is what my teacher wanted, so be it.
I still giggle over that sometimes.

[Margot]

I love your stories about Minnesota. They are so well observed. The crispness with which a Minnesotan can deliver disdain - without a single word - is a sight to see indeed. Has me gripping my hankie to my breast as I sniff, "well I NEVER...."

Niece, occasionally, accommodate, guarantee, stationery/stationary. That last one is particularly treacherous, because I'm a graphic designer.

[AKD]

I can't believe someone else had the lbs. problem! Except in my case I thought it was "lillabuls" and it was a whole separate system from pounds. I still say it that way in my head when I read it.

[Alexicographer]

Oh, forgot to say, I love the professor story. That is a stitch. Also, in the mispronunciation vein, as a kid I was fond of the character Yo-ze-might Sam, even if he did seem to have quite a temper.

[Aurora]

I only learned how to spell "schedule" when I learned the English pronunciation.

"Definitely" seems to be my current nemesis although I don't remember having any trouble with it until recently.

Of course, I have some sort of learning disability that made spelling almost impossible to learn (not dyslexia, they never gave it a more specific name that "leaning disability"). I utterly failed to learn to spell until I started using spell check (or math facts until I used a calculator). The tools taught me and I'm sort of competent now, even without the spell check, but I'll never be actually good at it. Part of the problem seems to be that if I think about certain categories of things, all my instincts and sense of what's right gets destabilized. I probably did know how to spell "definitely" once, until I made a typo one day and haven't been able to get that knowledge back.

The only word special ed managed to teach me to spell (as far as I can remember so, you know, grain of salt), was friend. The teacher told us not to "fri [sic] the end of your friend." The idea so disturbed me that I actually remembered it.

Still an English major, but a technologically assisted one.

[Elle]

I am 27 and only last week discovered that macabre (pronounced like Maccabees but with a burr) and "macabe" (which I had only ever heard aloud and never seen written, how strange!) are not actually two different words that mean the same thing but the same word, one of which is the correct spelling and the other, the pronunciation.

[Kathy]

I actually have a trick for stationery/stationary. The one that means "a kind of paper" ends in -er just like paper.

My spelling bugaboos are Neil (my BIL's name), maintenance, calendar, and occurrance/occurance/occurence... curses! I have no idea what the correct one is. My brain is also really good at taking a perfectly normal, correctly spelled word and deciding one day that it looks TOTALLY wrong.

But the worst is my typing problems. I AM a structural engineer, but I have to type the word "structural" slowly and carefully one letter at a time or I mess it up. Dozens of times every day.

[Kathy]

And I can't be the only one who learned that Hermione isn't pronounced her-MEE-own when Viktor Krum mispronounced it in Harry Potter. Can I?

[Annette]

@arnebya and any others who have been haunted by their spelling-bee debacles: check out MC Mr Napkins' Spelling Bee song. (He misspelled "irrevocability" at the state finals.) The video is on YouTube - brilliant and, hopefully, cathartic.

[Clare]

I can't spell broccoli for the life of me and I can still remember my mother and brother's mirth when I started talking about Asterix and "Kay-zar" (although I still don't know how an eight year old was meant to know how to say Caesar). Although I do still giggle over my journalist friend talking about "indicktable" offences at law school so it goes both ways.