Every Moment Is Shining And Perfect

I pointed out the rounding thing to Patrick this morning and told him the internet suggested that maybe the quiz was looking for 0.7 or 0.67. He (coldly) informed me that since the question did not ask him to round to a tenth or a hundredth - after it rejected 2/3 - he had pressed and held the 6 key for five minutes to indicate to the online quiz that the 6's were infinite and he went on to add that a world in which the decimal equivalent for 2/3 is 0.7 is not a world in which he, personally, wants to live. He also said that he thinks it would be weird and misleading for the question to express itself in fractions (m=1/3) but expect the answer to be given as a decimal.  

I said uh-huh, yeah, I see where you are coming from and that's great and I admire the purity of your ideals but you still got 4 out of 5 on the quiz which is an 80% which is a C so perhaps... ?

He stomped off and I am reminded of the recent Book Report Incident, which went down thusly: the grading rubric for Patrick's January book report showed that points would be given for correctly presenting the title of the book and the author. This seemed like a gimme to me but when I glanced at Patrick's paper I saw that he had written: "Sabotaged" by Margaret Peterson H. 

I said, "Patrick! What happened to the author's last name?"

He said, "Oh, her whole name wouldn't fit on the line in a 28-point font so I abbreviated."

I said, "What? Just use a smaller font!"

And he said, "No. I really like the way that font size balances the subheadings further down the page."

I said, "But you didn't given the author's name. You'll lose points. Get a lower grade."

He said he was ok with that. I pressed the issue. He told me not to worry about it. I got exasperated, he got snooty. Did Jackson Pollock agree to paint a kitten in the center of all those dribbles just because his mother told him it would look nicer? No! Was Patrick going to compromise his aesthetic just because his mother thinks that a book report's function must triumph over a book report's form? No!

Once upon a time I thought that it was a given that Patrick would be a great student and my biggest worry with him was that he would continue to face out during circle time when all of the other kids were facing in but lord a'mercy... exhibit P.

PS I went all tiger mother and changed the font for him.

He said, "Great. Now the page looks lopsided. Thanks."

I said, "Patrick, it's a g.. it's a d... it's a book report. It's not a f.. it's not a piece of art."

To which he said, "Well. It certainly isn't now that you've finished with it."

PPS Not to be a full year out of date with my contribution to the obscure blog outrage collective but you know what bothered me most about the tiger mother thing? The idea that acceptance into a prestigious college and/or graduate school should ever be viewed as a measure of parental success. My mother says your job as a parent is to raise children who like themselves because every other good thing in life originates there. Granted with me she maybe could have also focused on being likeable but you should meet my big brother. He's TERRIFIC.

Comments

[SarahB]

That might be your best blog title ever, and that is saying something. You write a mean blog post title.

[lizzzzzzy]

I know this isn't your intention, but every time I read Patrick's voice on your blog I can't help but read it like Sheldon from Big Bang.

Bazinga!

(PS. That's a compliment.)

[Christine]

For what it's worth, *I* like you. But then...

[Laura]

Margaret Peterson Haddix is one of my daughter's favorite authors. She is from central Ohio and frequently does talks/autographs at our local libraries and bookstores.

Today's post has gotten me to laugh for the first time since my kids nearly shoved me over the edge this morning. Wishing we could abolish 7:45 to 8:00 a.m. to preserve my sanity.

[Rachel]

Oh Patrick! I totally agree. I had to retake a college math class when I went back to school this year to get my second degree (because I got a D in the math class the first time around) and even though thankfully I got an A this time it was only because it was an online class and we had infinite opportunities to get the homework problems correct. And examples of how to do them. Oy. I do know that we always had to round our problems to the thousandth place but that was made clear! Therefore 2/3rds would become .667... but it should have said. I love the part about the infinite 6's though... lol, but don't tell Patrick there are only 9 or 10 6's before it ends at 7... that might make his poor head explode.

[Meg]

My brother is younger but sounds similar to yours -- quite likeable, very social, and then . . . there's me. Oh well. Once I figured out that I'm introverted then I realized that I don't hate EVERYONE just people AROUND ME. Also, I wish I could borrow Patrick for a while. I'm sure that would work off some of the purgatory I've got ahead of me for what I put my own mother through at his age (and, uh, onward).

[J]

Rachel, no, it's infinite 6s.

[Sheridan]

Well, I think you are infinitely likeable!

[Beth]

I honestly don't know which of your kids cracks me up the most! I see a bit of each in my daughter and I usually just nod my head and smile at their antics.

But today's story about Patrick... Oh that is looking into the near future. She's already leaned that way a few times and you know you're in for fun when the 1st grade first parent teacher conference is about how to get her to think inside the box. Her teacher is awesome and loves her creativity but um yeah, needs to work on being able to give the supported answer instead of what she thinks happens regardless if it is logical.

So thank you for writing and sharing!

[Erika]

Re tiger mothers, I agree with you—but I suspect that Amy Chua would have said your attitude is a perfect example of what's wrong with Western parenting. It's actually a pretty good book, though.

[Amanda P.]

I completely agree that if the problem was presented as m=1/3, then the expectation for the answer should be a=2/3.

I also agree that the entire author's name should be present (or at a minimum, abbreviate the middle name not the last!) if the grading structure calls for it. However, if the issue is relative font size, could the remainder of the font sizes be changed?

[Rachel]

J - lol, right -- I was being sarcastic, but it didn't show in the comment. It should have said don't tell him on the calculators you used in college or high school the graphing type nothing is ever infinite Even if it is.
For example, 2/3rds. It's 9 or 10 6's and then it ends in 7. In other words, in mathmatical language at some point we've always gotta round up so the calculator just does it for you. I feel like when I was in school there was a way that we could indicate that it went on forever, but I don't know why we even learned that since you always have to eventually round.

I do wonder if the teacher goes back and checks the answers at all. You'd think she'd give them credit for getting it right with 2/3rds.

[Connie]

I think, free spirits still need to get it, right?

[Betsy]

Words cannot describe how much I adore Patrick!

[Beth]

I would have insisted on the author's name (because that's respectful to the author) but I never ask my kids to put down wrong information just to get a better grade. This is because of my own issues with education being an attempt to get good grades rather than learn something; they can make their own mistakes but god forbid they just repeat mine.

It's nice when they see both what the correct answer is and what the teacher wants, and I try to help them get both, but especially in math the correct answer is sacred.

[Alex]

You show that the .s (or whatever) repeats infinitely by drawing a line over it. The things I remember from math class...

If Patrick had turned in the report the way he wanted to and lost those points, would he have been bothered by that, or would he not care? I'm curious because I, myself, struggle with recognizing when a hill is not not worth dying on. There is a line between standing up for what you believe and making trouble for yourself over something that doesn't matter, and I have a tendency to not realize that I am on the wrong side of that line until after the consequences have already happened. I think I'd be better off if I had started recognizing that tendency earlier in life. If reaping the consequences of sticking to his guns over a trivial issue might be a learning experience for Patrick, you might want to let him do things his way and see what happens.

[Justin]

"Well. It certainly isn't now that you've finished with it."

I howled. Patrick is a gem.

[Annette]

Ah, the memories this brings back... My firstborn's primary-school teacher not only wanted my son to remember his classmates' names (even those of girls he NEVER played with -- he thought that was the height of unreasonable-ness); she also wanted math problems handled in three steps: (1) written question, (2) calculations, (3) answer sentence. Firstborn saw this as useless busy work and maintained that a simple number, scawled on the paper, would suffice. When rational arguments ("but what if you miscalculate? This way, the teacher will see where you went wrong!") failed to have any effect, I finally told him to "give sugar to the monkey" (a little idiomatic German phrase which -- you guessed it -- encourages you to just give people what they want, regardless of what you personally think about it). And he, now 19, still remembers it: only recently, faced with something undoubtedly really stoopid, he said: Remember when you told me "Gib dem Affen Zucker?" And, sighing a bit, proceeded to do it.

[Jennie]

My husband rather spectacularly did something similar to Patrick with....the dissertation for his PhD. He wrote a flexible format it LaTex and had all of his notes/graphs and commentary in resizeable columns on the side. No footnotes ("they are inefficient.") Footnotes were specifically requested and required. Things hit fans, but he won out in the end.
It sounds like Patrick will be one of those "mould the environment to fit myself rather than myself to fit the environment" sorts of people. From observation, they do some spectacular work, but boy can it be difficult to watch them essentially make life more difficult in order to prove a point. In my husband's case, it doesn't help that he is often correct (his dissertation WAS easier to read and better designed) and therefore slightly insufferable.

[lynn342]

Annette - you have made my day with "Gib dem Affen Zucker." Awesome.

[Betsy]

Even if I didn't love Julia's writing (which, of course, I do); I would still read this blog for the comments. "Gib dem Affen Zucker" is going to be our new motto when my son is completing inefficient homework assignments!

[moosilaneous]

Today I laughed aloud at the comments, as well as Julia's fabulous reporting of Patrick, who continues to be astounding.
The comment that got me:
"Once I figured out that I'm introverted then I realized that I don't hate EVERYONE just people AROUND ME."
My goodness gracious, that just SLAYED me.
I say Yes, Sister!
Thanks, all.
Off I go to give sugar to the monkey...

[Kristin]

Did you read the Tiger Mother book? I think most of the outrage/discussion was from people who didn't read the book. It was actually an interesting/fun-to-read book that was far more nuanced than the discussion gave it credit for. Anyway, it was mostly about her forcing her kids to practice their instruments 12 hours a day. I am no tiger mother, but one point really stuck with me: Kids usually don't know what they're capable of until they have mastered something--and it's often the parent who has to make sure they persevere enough reach that point. That book is the reason my 7 year old will not be quitting piano anytime soon, no matter how hard she tries to break me.

All that said, I totally agree with your mom.

[AnnaN]

Ehh. You're likable enough.

:)

[Sarah]

I could see getting into the font size argument with my oldest, and I used to find that frustrating. Until my middle child hit the report age and his apathy kills me. Me: "Hey - you should do XYZ to do the minimum to not fail this assignment" and his reply, "I don't care. Whatever." I think my third child will go back to caring about her work and I will feel less like I've failed ;-)

Fractions and digital answers are always a lesson in frustration.

[Arnebya]

Well. Um. I like you. I might kinda acshuwee like Patrrick better. Oh, wait, the twins, um...damn. I still like you, but, well, oh.

[rosie_kate]

Hooray for Patrick and going against the mindless, give-em-what-they-want system! That's the biggest problem with the grading system, in my most humble opinion-- no one can be themselves. Let him not compromise his ideals if that's what makes him tick and good grades be damned, I say.

Patrick is such a colorful kid!

[Cori]

I second (third?) the recommendation to read the Tiger Mother book if you haven't already. It's much better than the discussions and controversy would suggest.

And I think your mom did a fantastic job.

[Karen]

Julia, this conversation with Patrick is your moment of foresight. Fast forward to middle school and, worst of all, high school, where the uber smart kids sometimes fail classes because they find the homework assignments completely useless. This is a good opportunity for natural consequences if you could stop yourself next time from correcting Patrick's approach. He might benefit from a bad grade when making choices like this.

Loved the post, and love the comments.

[Christa]

Reminds me of my son's book report project on Behind the Wall or whatever it was called (yet another depressing book in a line of them about hidden, illegal children, past, present and future). Anyway, the project had many parts where you had to answer questions on the content of the story, but one part in particular captured Jacob's attention. You had to draw a floor plan of the house in the story and show where the hidden room was located. Well he finds an online program that lets you draw floor plans in excruciating detail. He spent virtually all of the class time offered for this assignment creating his floor plan and he had hardwood floors, rugs, furniture, wall decorations etc. What he didn't have was the location of the hidden room in the right place. D'oh.

And since when is 80% a "C"? In my day, that was a "B". My son's school does it too and I have to say the three classes where he has a grade of 92 = B really irritate me. I mean if you are going to grade in such detail as to give them a number grade then make the final score a number grade. Don't lose all that resolution at the last step! Argh.

[Stacey]

Julia, 80% is a C? Harsh! :)

[Deanna]

I don't have kids, but I think my goal would have been to raise children who didn't live with me anymore after they graduated from high school!

[K]

May I please make a request for the topic of a future post? The day that Patrick learns about significant figures.

[Alex]

I'm going to remember "give sugar to the monkey." My grandmother's phrase for similar dilemmas was (and is) "Sometimes you have to kiss a little ass," which if you tend, as I do, to picture metaphors literally, is the opposite of helpful. With Annette's phrase, you get to imagine the teacher/boss/whoever as a monkey, picking at fleas and sucking on a sugar cube. Much more appealing, on multiple levels.

[Rachel]

80% was always a C when I was growing up... 92-100 was an A, 84-92 a B, 76-84 a C, 67-75 a D and everything below was an F. I couldn't believe it when I went to college and didn't have to try nearly as hard to get an A :)

[Neishia]

Right. 80% is a C??
And It's not an work of art now that you're done with it. I howled. Holy. Cow. Love.

[winecat]

Patrick as always is priceless and you are very likable
: )

Introverts unite!

[zarqa]

Seems to me that Patrick is more right-brained that you or any of us thought. Not sure if the right-brain = art, literature, left-brain = math is even a thing any more. Anyway, I think what you're seeing is that just because he likes numbers and figures and the shapes of things, doesn't necessarily follow that he likes math. He likes the art of math. Which is a beautiful thing to like. He'll probably do well in calculus.
As for learning to concede to norms in educational assessment, don't know what to tell you. I got through school simply by my uncanny ability to read the teachers' minds and give them exactly what they wanted. They loved me and I always got A's. But how much I really learned or how much I grew up liking myself or becoming likeable is questionable.

[Rachel]

I do have to add that most teachers (most, not all) would not count the quiz as an 80%, but rather as 4 points towards a cumulative quiz grade. IE; 20 quizzes given over the semester added together are worth a 100 pt. test and that grade stands. That's the only way quizzes can be weighted less than other assignments, and they definitely SHOULD be!

I think Patrick should ask his teacher what the deal is though (maybe not in those words)... but I would be upset for missing a question I technically got correct. And I would want to know exactly what the heck she expected for next time!

[Kizz]

HOLD ON! You might be able to get them for free. I'm at work, can't hit the button and see if it works. Fingers crossed.

http://www.down-down.com/ebooks-audio-books/audio-books/7940-dorothy-dunnett-lymond-chronicles-1-6-audiobooks.html

[Shawna]

We Canadians must be total slackers! 80% is an A- in my world (A is 85-94% and A+ is 95% and above). B is ~75% and C is ~65%.

[Andrea]

If it helps, when I read bits of your blog to my parents my mother said Patrick sounds just like me and went on to regale me with p,entry of Patrick type stories. I too struggled against expectations throughout school and at times school was very hard for me because I couldn't (not wouldn't) perform. Now I'm a college professor. :). So don't get to stressed.

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