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November 30, 2013


The death of the straight up RSVP kills me. I'm 40, and dead, because 2 parties I have thrown included between 3 and 45 people and skewed more towards the 3 when all was said and done.

Only buy cheese you like, and some fiber.

"I took carry of a baby" ???

Paperless Post has no maybe option. But that does not mean people will RSVP. It's crazy making because I really want to have enough goody bags, and yet I really don't want to have many left over. Ditto cup cakes.

PSEO all the way - if it's still an option in MN by the time Patrick needs it. College classes are paid for by the school district during your junior and senior years (including books!) and you earn college credit and high school credits. I went part-time my junior year of high school and full-time my senior year (except band - I still wanted some of the high school experience) and I was able to knock out a full year of college for free. Best thing I ever did.

Tomorrow's the deadline for guests to RSVP for our wedding reception. So far, we've gotten 12 proper RSVPs and bullied about 40 more out of people we happened to see over the holiday weekend. My favorite response when I ask if someone is coming? "Oh, was I supposed to RSVP? Obviously I'm coming." Some seem to consider the very acronym an insult. So, so weird. Some day they will hold a catered event and I will keep them guessing. (Not really, though, because it's RUDE.)

Turn off the feature where everyone can see who else is coming. It makes people more indecisive!

I thought it was just me having hand problems lately. When I swim up from sleep during the night enough to flex my hands, doing so actually brings me almost fully conscious because of the discomfort. And I believe we're close in age (I'm 41), so maybe it's not coincidence?

Also, to Angela above: we had one couple RSVP that they would come to our wedding, then never show! I even had a funny feeling about that particular friend and called her directly to see if she'd want an invitation. She said she did, I sent it, she sent it back with the Yes checked off... and that's the last I heard from her. My wedding was over 10 years ago at this point.

I've had some luck by saying "Please RSVP by (date)." Maybe the deadline wakes some people up?

"Maybe" is an acceptable reply for people with babies and/or (hopefully or!) chronic medical conditions which flare up unexpectedly. Other people should make a damn decision already.

I moved into a dorm and started college two weeks after I turned 17, and it was awesome. (My social life was somewhat hampered by my youth, but I was so wide-eyed and clueless at that age that it was probably a blessing.) Not sure I would recommend that these days . . . but that PSEO thing where kids can get the "Introduction to Everything" classes out of the way for FREE sounds definitely worth looking into!

Enjoy your possibly ginormous party. I hope Paul Revere enjoys it too. :)

We have one large party a year with flexibility on the RSVP. I just start drinking an hour before it starts and then I really don't care if anyone eats or not.

Angela, people don't know to RSVP for a wedding, really? So sorry. I would RSVP. And bring a gift.

I was homeschooled, and basically finished up all the requirements by the end of my junior year; since I'd started a year early, that meant I was 16. I tried convincing my parents to graduate me and let me go off to college, but they said no; so my senior year I ended up taking Russian history, Welsh, critical thinking, and chemistry at home, and classes at the local 2-year community college as a high school special student -- the latter was an EXCELLENT choice, since it gave me some nice credits to transfer when I did go off to real college, it satisfied my desire to be more adult, and it just so happens that one of the classes I took my first semester set me off on the career path to becoming the logician I am today.

So I was 17 when I went off to university, and even I was smart enough to realize only a year or two later that my parents were very smart in not letting me go at 16.

Until recently I though I only had to RSVP if I was coming to something. Then someone we know who organises a lot of parties as part of her work said how annoying it was when people didn't RSVP. So, I'm not completely reformed, but I am trying to reply to invitations ... I hate saying no, but I'm getting better(esp. MLM parties, have a couple of good friends who are complete addicts, completely off-topic, I'm not implying that you try to convince people to buy and sell venison or wierd fungi ;).

Huh. See, when i think of my kids 'going to college early', it means taking a couple or a few courses right here down the road a piece. College credit is college credit. Now, sending them off across country to live in dorms way far away at 15 or 16 would not be a choice I'd make. (And anyway, mine are going to college right here down the road a piece: anything else is unaffordable and also they don't want to: the one wants the music school that is right here and the other one knows her major and has self-designated herself as the one to stay home with her disabled mother [me] and so is not going anywhere any time soon, she says).

But i mean to say, and did previously mean on the other post, that if Patrick is academically ready earlier than the traditional 18 then by all means have him do dual enrollment or local part time courses plus a part time job and/or whatnot. College credit is college credit; on the other hand college is something that is always going to be there. There is no rush; nor is there any need to hold off if readiness and interest is present.

I love your mom's answer! That is priceless. And yes, everyone should RSVP. I myself skew towards the "let's invite only a few people" side, so I sympathize with your issue here with Steve.

oh my goodness. i did an early entrance program at my state university when i was 14 and it was just the worst thing (for me personally) ever ever ever. i quit/flunked precal/got kicked out after five long, long, long months and went back to high school and (eventually) became well adjusted again. but yeah. just no. thank you for having a level head about patrick as opposed to the starry-eyed ambition of my mother. most of us child geniuses do end up just being normal people sooner or later...

Right, what everyone else has said about early college for P. As a college administrative professional, I can tell you that most 14-15-year-old freshmen crash and burn for the social reasons. I don't know much about Simon's Rock, which is an early high-school/college transition school in New York State for gifted students, but I'm not sure P would do well so far away from home. Definitely courses at local colleges/universities and maybe starting full enrollment somewhere a year early, but no more than that. A gap year would be ideal for P, working or being an intern in some area that interests him or building the mushroom business or starting a design operation.
And what about coming education plans for Madame Caroline?

You know, you really have the best group of commenters (not that I'm complimenting myself). With other blogs or news articles the comments sections are to be avoided or read with disbelief at people's combined stupidity or bile. But I always look forward to reading, not just your writing, but the responses of others. I very much enjoy the perspectives of such varied but educated, caring, and funny people!

Oh god no!

My high school offered a lot of AP classes, and I took the tests. To my great surprise, I started college as a sophomore. All those AP credits cleared out many basic requirements so I was freer to just take what interested me. It also simplified going abroad, as most of my coursework that semester didn't need to count for anything more than electives.

I am hugely impressed with you for throwing open your doors for a holiday party, whatever size it ends up being. Whatever you're taking must be working all kinds of magic.

And oh, I love your Mom's response!

Doesn't MN have that "stay in high school but earn college credit program?" For free? *googles* AHA!


I went to the U (from out of state - who does that?) & a bunch of people I met who grew up in the Cities did the PSEO program.

I second Cris's comment above. I love reading your posts, but I love reading readers' comments too. Coming here is just an all-around enjoyable experience. Thank you.

Here in Washington state AP credit and community college classes are touted as a way to save money or accelerate students, and I know a number of students who are happy to have done that. However, when my son inquired if he could place out of a math class as a college freshman (he intends to be a math major) the professor said that he could, but that he felt the class was where they went deeper into fundamentals of math. (You can solve that one way, but can you think of 10 other ways to solve it?) My son decided to take the professor's advice and is really loving the class. This philosophy is very different to our school system, which only offers acceleration - not depth.

Not sure if your area offers it - but we have a public high school with the International Baccalaureate program - and it's been a great education for my kids.

We are thinking about starting to homeschool our kids somewhere around 4th grade for a variety of reasons- none of which include protecting our children from the hoi polloi, mother. I fully expect that the children will complete at least a hunk of the high school curriculum well before they reach 18 and one of my most oft received comments is, "but you don't want them graduating at 16" with an implied "your dear angels will enter into those dens of iniquity known as college dorms at much too tender an age and, obviously, be led down the primrose path!" I spend a lot of time explaining that completing calculus does not actually mean you must enter college, residentially, post haste. From now on, I will simply direct them to your post.

(The other most common comment is "but how will you handle teaching them calculus." Me pointing out that my husband is an engineering professor with an actual degree in math doesn't seem to ever reassure them. In fact, what most terrifies me is having to teach them proper use of commas.)

'Is that the yes part of maybe or the no part?' That is hysterical!!!!! Touche indeed!!!! So glad you are writting more again!!

We too are having a holiday part this Saturday. We usually send an evite out to about 80-90 people and get about 50. Since it's an Open House it's mostly drop in, stay and hour or two and go (although some stay all night). However, this year, since we move in the summer my DH decided he was going to invite 196 knowing people weren't going to come, but so he could "clean up the address book".....I'm expecting about 70. Not happy about it as it means more work for me.

Wow a holiday party - you are brave.

I will second (third?) the comment that I both love reading your posts and always leave time for the comments as well given the thoughtful and sometime hilarious responses.

Having seen a number of teenagers flail out of freshman year due to the whole maturity, going wild with the college experience etc, I am a big fan of the gap year. I wish it was more prevalent in the US since I think my DD will worry she is "behind" then but will see if we can make it happen if at all possible

I haven't hosted a holiday party in 10 years, meaning, since moving into our house, and I fear if we tried to have one, everyone would go, "What the...' and then forget, since it's not normally on their radars.

And also that we'd have to invite everyone we've ever known, to make up for all this time.

But I so WANT to host a holiday party. Hmm.

what I meant by that was, you inspire me every year to want to.

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