I Give Up
Not Just Capable, Inescapable

Nicely Defined

Caroline and Edward are currently in their love-each-other-so-much cannot-bear-to-be-parted phase (it comes. it goes) so they have been having slumber parties for the past few nights. Once upon a time I mistook these momentary fancies for actual considered intent and I went so far as to have Caroline's bed moved into Edward's room. That lasted about four days and then I had to tell Steve that the bed needed to go back into the other room again. He was not amused.

You know, I could swear that Steve liked nothing better when we were dating than to oblige me by moving furniture around but I guess... hold on, counting... fifteen years of marriage has taken the bloom off that particular rose.

Anyway, I realized my error and now Caroline sleeps like an unverifiable princess on not one but two mattresses. When the urge for uninterrupted togetherness strikes them I just move the top mattress down to the floor or I drag it into Edward's room where it is quite easy to drag back again as needed. Steve, as we learned when I was gone, just sticks them into the same bed pointing in opposite directions but I cannot condone that sort of parental laziness.

This evening I got them both settled in Caroline's room and wished them a very good night.

Five seconds later Caroline popped out seeking clarification on the rules of the advent calendar. To wit: if she wakes up in the middle of the night and it is dark but technically the next day can she wake up Edward so they can open their advent calendars right away?

NO! I said.

That seemed fairly unequivocable to me but somehow Caroline found it necessary to keep coming out of her room for additional clarification until I told her that I would remove the advent calendar if she did not cease and desist. She scuttled back.

However she re-emerged moments later to tell me that Edward was refusing to turn off the light and she could not sleep with it on and I needed to do something about it. I suggested Edward return to his own room but then they were both at the door, berating me for my heartlessness when I knew they wanted to be together.

I went back upstairs and turned off the light nearest Caroline so that she could go to sleep but left the one near Edward burning so that he could continue to read his Garfield book until he fell asleep over it (just like his mommy, I note with fond indulgence.)

"There," I said, "problem solved."

But they both started complaining: too light! too dark!

I cut them off.

"It's a compromise. Live with it or sleep in your own rooms."

Edward said, "What is compromise?"

Caroline said, promptly, "It is when both people are unhappy."

Hmmm, works for me.